Time Warp: All of a Tremble (Sean)

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean didn’t disagree with Josh’s opinion on the matter. While he was comfortable with his powers now, it had taken time for him to grow into them; certainly as a twelve-year-old trying to cope with burgeoning telepathy, he wouldn’t have chosen it. But he also understood how prejudice worked, and he knew that it didn’t make a difference to those that were afraid of meta-humans, particularly not psychic meta-humans.

All that mattered was what he could potentially do, even if he would never do it.

Of course, he was secure enough, even in a country that had given rise to McCarthy, that he wouldn’t be persecuted by the law for his telepathy; he told most people he encountered of his ability, partially as a warning because he thought they should know that he would pick up on little details. And to give them the option to leave if they were uncomfortable.

It hadn’t been necessary at Hammel, of course, but that was because Hammel was a small school, he was a large child, and everyone recognized both the name and the face of Sean Neville.

But the telepath didn’t want to focus on such heavy thoughts when he was out on a date with Josh. Even if the backdrop of their date was a similar topic, albeit in a historical context. So he nudged the other boy’s foot with his again, and offered him a smile.

One that faded somewhat at the freshman’s other comment. “People are uncomfortable about a lot of things,” he agreed with a slight nod. “But that doesn’t mean that it somehow isn’t nice to break someone out of jail over it. That’s going above and beyond.”

Not that it wouldn’t, hypothetically, be appreciated.

Not that Sean had any desire to undermine the justice system. Radical politics aside, he wanted to reform the system, not destroy everything in his path.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh flashed Sean another grin as they continued to press their feet against one another. This wasn't too bad, really; even if the subject matter was a bit dark.

Even if another couple did decide to come inching down their aisle, asking if the seat beside him was taken. He gaped at them for a moment before shaking his head. "N-no, go ahead." He offered, attempting to keep disappointment off his face. He had known it was unlikely he and Sean would have the whole row to themselves, but that hadn't kept him from hoping.

With other people beside him now he felt a bit more awkward about the topic they were discussing, so he cast about for something safer. Unfortunately, his mind was drawing a blank, whether from panic that the man and woman would notice their feet or had overheard any part of their banter about jail or because Sean's closeness was inherently distracting.

"Ahhh...I think I'm hungry." He said finally, feeling rather useless. That was such a vapid thing to say. "Oh, did you take anatomy? That class is killing me. It's enough information for multiple semesters and they've crammed it all into one."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The presence of the newcomers was, admittedly, somewhat unwelcome, although Sean would never say as much. After all, this was a public forum and space was limited. Sean had no desire to hoard the area; rather, he simply want to have his relationship with Josh legitimized the same way that this straight couple’s was. Perhaps that was asking too much. The world was changing, but it was doing so slowly, and Sean often reminded himself of that when engaged in activities with the other Radicals.

Unfortunately, the telepath now had to worry about whether Josh would be uncomfortable with the closer audience; if so, that would have to be the end of physical contact for the duration of the lecture. Sean hoped not; he liked the touching, even if it was less than he would prefer or could get away with (or had gotten away with) girlfriends.

“We’ll get something to eat after this,” Sean responded immediately to the comment. “There are a couple of good places in the area.” Ones that weren’t too expected, given that they were on college student budgets.

The telepath then nodded in response to the other question regarding classes, which was also coupled with a look of surprise. “I took it; that and physiology are pre-med requirements. But it’s a heavy class; why are you taking it?”

Sean didn’t mean that to be offensive in that he believed Josh was incapable. But it wasn’t freshman biology, and since everything he knew about the younger boy told him that he had no interest in natural sciences, it was a curious choice.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Good," Josh responded to the promise of food. He briefly debated whether it would be better to eat at the restaurant or get their food to go. Eating out was more traditionally romantic, but eating in had the advantage of touching and leaning on one another being acceptable.

In which case they would most likely forget that they had planned on eating at all; from that perspective, eating at the restaurant was probably the better idea.

"Ughhhh," He grimaced in vexation at Sean's remark about his class. "I'm not taking it because I want to." He promised before realizing how that might sound; he wanted Sean to think he was intellectually stimulating, not some philistine who hated higher education. "I mean, a lot of it is kind of interesting!" He corrected hurriedly, "but it's so much in one class and science is hard."

Sciences had never been his strong suit.

"I'm taking it because the regular biology class was full by the time my counselor pointed out I hadn't registered for a science and it didn't have any pre-reqs. I should've just skipped science this year and just done it as a summer course because anatomy. I had no idea I didn't know so much about the human body."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Not all of the restaurants in the surrounding area would let them take the food to go, and Sean thought that would be a determining factor in where they chose to eat later. That and whatever Josh felt like doing, since the telepath was happy to accommodate the younger boy. Particularly since Sean had been the one to choose the main venue of the date.

Eating back at Sean’s apartment had its advantages of course: not needing to be on their best behavior and not having to worry about homophobia. Greg might tease about the age difference, but not about the underlying attraction; and the teasing was benign, not malicious or judgmental. But a change of scenery could be nice.

All of that would have to wait, however.

The telepath nodded his acknowledgment of why Josh was taking anatomy. That made enough sense, although Sean had difficulty understanding how Josh had managed to avoid registering for a science class until intro biology had been full. Or why he hadn’t taken astronomy instead. But that wasn’t important since the younger boy was taking the class. “The human body is fascinating, but it’s a lot to remember. If you want some help, I’d be happy to give you some tips, since I got through the class just fine.”

Of course, science was one of Sean’s stronger areas, the result of being the son of a doctor. “The final can be a bit of a killer, but it you keep up, you should be fine.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh lit up at the offer to help him study. "That's so generous!" He whispered, already considering the ways he could leverage this to his advantage. Help studying was a wonderful excuse to have Sean all to himself, even if very little actual studying happened.

Before he could continue, however, the lecturer walked out front and then noise died down. He gave Sean a look that said this was going to be so cool as they settled back to learn.

---

As they left the museum Josh had to resist the urge to grab Sean's hand; they weren't free to show overt affection just yet, after all. But even that knowledge wasn't enough to quell his enthusiasm for the lecture they had just sat through.

"That was fantastic!" He gushed, eyes bright with delight. "I learned so much. I didn't even know Audrey Hepburn wasn't American."

He felt a kind of kinship with her knowing that she had suffered through German occupation of Holland, because that meant she had some shared experience with his father in a strange way.

"I guess I can't be jealous of her now."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Josh wasn’t alone in his desire for physical contact; Sean wanted to either hold hands with the younger boy, or to wrap his arm around his shoulders as they walked. Unfortunately, either would earn them odd looks, at best, or a confrontation, at worst; both of those would put a damper on the evening and were to be avoided. He settled for walking close to the other boy and nudging him with his shoulder. It was awkward with the height difference, although not in the same way as on the last date he’d had before Josh; sometimes, there was a foot of difference or more between him and girls of average height.

A smile was on his lips, because he’d also enjoyed the lecture greatly, although he was saddened by how many lives had been ruined by HUAC. He’d hoped they’d learned better as a country, but only time would tell. At least Communism was treated as less of a threat by the Carter administration, and there were agreements with the U.S.S.R. for nuclear de-escalation. That was something.

The mention of Audrey Hepburn caused his smile to widen; he couldn’t help it. She’d been his celebrity crush when he’d been younger, and he assumed he would always have a fondness for her. “She’s America’s British treasure,” he remarked.

Then at the comment about jealousy, he nudged Josh with his shoulder again. “You shouldn’t be jealous. She’s fifty, she doesn’t know I exist, and most importantly,” the telepath lowered his voice to minimize the chance of them being overheard since a crowded New York City street wasn’t the best place for an intimate conversation. “You’re my boyfriend. That’s what matters.”

To Sean, it was that simple. He wanted Josh; they were dating, and that was the end of it. Old crushes didn’t matter; old girlfriends didn’t matter.

“Did you think about what you wanted to do for food?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Oh. That would be like if you dated my mom." Josh realized, grimacing at the thought. Fifty was old. He could barely imagine what it would be like to be thirty, let alone fifty. He hoped that by the time he was fifty he would be a successful, well-respected attorney with his own practice so that he could retire comfortably, but that was about as far as his imagination went.

Then he dropped his voice to a whisper to match Sean's, murmuring, "I really like hearing that last part aloud, I have to admit."

He was still jealous, of course; he didn't want to share, and old girlfriends had known Sean before they had ever laid eyes on one another, knew parts of him Josh could only know through asking.

He wanted to know everything, more than anyone else.

"Uhhh. No!" He confessed when the topic came back around to food. "We can just do diner food, that's fine with me. Nobody can mess up meatloaf." There was a pause and then, "Well, nobody who can cook and I expect people who work in restaurants can cook."

He didn't want to try making a meatloaf for himself, but people who had that magical ability to craft ingredients into edible foods should be able to make a tasty one with no problem.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The telepath nodded in agreement. Audrey was in the same age ballpark as his mother and father were as well, and so it would be very strange. That was why it wasn’t a concern, even if he and Josh weren’t dating, even if Sean wasn’t just some anonymous fan who’d grown up watching her movies and had come to adore her through them.

Sean smiled, a secretive smile because only he and Josh knew what had caused it. Voice still low, he promised, “I’ll be sure to say it more often.” It would have to be alone, or at gatherings with friends who would be tolerant; certainly not around family, but he would say so as often as Josh wanted him to.

The mindset about jealousy and sharing was one that Sean would never understand. He accepted it as fact, he grasped it in the abstract as a psychological development as well as through his own perception, but it was a foreign notion on a personal level. Particularly being jealous about something that came before; by definition, it was past and no longer a concern. He wanted to know everything about Josh as well, because they were dating and that was how Sean was with people, but he didn’t have a sense of possessiveness about it.

The telepath nodded in acceptance of the other boy’s decision. “A diner it is.” Sean was fond of diners, because he enjoyed the fact that the menus were large and varied with so many options. He also found that most diners had good baked goods (his favorite) and strong coffee (which was greatly appreciated when studying or coping with migraines) and the prices were always affordable.

Having gone to school in New York City for the past three and a half years, he had made it his prerogative to find and rate as many of the diners in Manhattan as humanly possible. As such, he knew precisely what diner to go to, and he put a hand on Josh’s shoulder briefly, to alert him to the fact that he was changing directions. Then he resumed walking, slowing up to remain in step with the younger boy as they made their way there. “This place is good,” he promised Josh.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh allowed Sean to direct him, changing direction with the touch. He was appreciative of the fact that the older boy slowed his pace, allowing his shorter legs to keep up. He didn't think of himself as short, and in fact knew that he was just slightly taller than average, but Sean was almost a giant, and had a giant stride to go along with that.

"I trust your opinion." He assured the telepath, because frankly if Sean said something then it must be true. It had yet to occur to him to doubt anything his boyfriend told him, because he knew the other boy wouldn't mislead him on purpose and as Sean was the smartest person Josh knew it stood to reason everything he said was infallible.

In any event, even someone he didn't trust as implicitly he would trust when they praised a restaurant that they at least believed that it was worthy of praise, even if he ended up ultimately disagreeing.

"Is it close?"

He had to assume that it was; there were diners on every street corner, so there was no need to travel very far, but the question was automatic, and to fill the silence as much as anything. "Do you go there a lot? Do Greg and Daphne like it? Have they been?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The telepath nodded in affirmation. “It’s only another block,” he reassured the younger boy. That was one of the best parts about living in Manhattan; every neighborhood had everything one might need, and so walking far was never necessary (unless going to a specific location, like a hospital, or NYU, or a museum or Central Park). For those, there was the subway.

“Not a lot,” Sean admitted. He went to diners or other restaurants in the Village, and then in SoHo and in Chelsea since those were closer to where they lived and went to class. “But more than a few times. Greg and Daphne have been at least once, although I don’t know if they’d remember it.” It wasn’t an impressive restaurant, the type that had a theme or some other quality that would make it memorable. It was just a diner.

But a good diner.

Once they made it to the next block and crossed the street, they reached it, on the corner with his blue lettering and otherwise unimpressive exterior. The telepath smiled and then held the door open for Josh to go through. Once the younger boy was inside, he followed and held up two fingers to the person at the front, who told them they could sit anywhere.

Sean chose a booth near the back where they’d have a bit more privacy. “Is this okay?” He asked Josh. He thought the other boy might appreciate the privacy since they hadn’t had much at the lecture, but if he did, they could pick somewhere else. There were several available booths scattered around the diner.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh followed the older boy to the back of the restaurant, taking in the well-worn pale blue vinyl upholstery, tufts of white showing through rips left by daily use. The salt and pepper shakers were chrome, the ketchup bottle had ketchup crusted along the lid, and the laminated menu in front of one place setting looked like someone had recently spilled syrup on it.

"It looks great!" Josh enthused, sliding into the booth eagerly. He beamed at the telepath, gratitude at the choice of privacy radiating from his every pore. Maybe they could rub their feet together without anyone noticing back here. That would definitely make up for the lecture.

"I feel like I should skip the meatloaf for shake and fries." He commented, taking in the exterior. If he were a soda drinker he would have added that he needed a Pepsi, or a Root beer float, but he didn't care for the fizziness and so if he wanted a calorie-laden drink he would go for the shakes all the way.

"This is the best..." He paused, glancing around to see if any of the wait staff were nearby before lowering his voice, "date ever."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Admittedly, this wasn’t the type of restaurant that Sean could take his mother, because there were spills and stains. But it was more than acceptable for college students, and that was all that mattered. That and the fact that Josh was content with the choice. “I’m glad,” he replied. Once the other boy was seated, Sean slid into the booth across from him.

He overheard Josh’s thought, and he believed it was an excellent suggestion. As such, he reached out with his foot to brush along the other boy’s. Since he couldn’t see under the table, it was a bit clumsy, but it got the point across, he hoped.

The telepath nodded in agreement with the choice. He saw nothing wrong with French fries and a milkshake; in fact, it sounded like an excellent suggestion. Of course, he would also have to go for a burger of some sort, and since there were options, he had to take a couple of minutes to study his own menu. “That sounds like a great idea. Chicken or beef to go with it?” The diner had some interesting types of chicken sandwiches, as well as the standard grilled, which is why Sean was curious. He hoped the other boy would find something on the menu to serve as an adequate entrée.

Josh’s admission caused Sean to smiled brightly at him. “I’m glad,” he repeated, and he was glad. Of course, he knew that the younger boy didn’t have much experience to compare with, so he added, “I promise to do better next one.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

The pressure against his feet caused his smile to widen, and he pushed back, delighted that his boyfriend had the same thought as he had.

"Ahhh..." He started at the question, his attention diverted from the very important task of touching Sean surreptitiously. "Oh! Ahh, I'm sure the chicken is good but I'm still stuck on beef, I think."

His craving for meatloaf hadn't abated, but he would replace that with a cheeseburger instead.

His eyes widened at the promise to do better. "But this was wonderful." He replied sincerely, unrolling his napkin and sliding the menu to the edge of the table.

Almost as soon as he had the server made her way over, pad and pen in hand as she surveyed the two men. Her dark hair was lined with grey and crows feet under her eyes, but her smile was bright and her voice warm as she asked if they were ready to order.

Josh glanced at the telepath, uncertainty written on his face. "I'm ready, are you ready?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“The burgers are good,” the telepath assured the other boy. Sean had never been disappointed with any sort of burger that he’d had at this diner, and so he hoped that Josh would enjoy as well.

He flashed the other boy another smile at the assurance. “I’m glad of that, really, but I’ll still do better next time.” Sean lowered his voice, then, since it wouldn’t do for them to be overheard. He wasn’t particularly worried about eavesdroppers, but better safe than sorry. “Greg’s been to this club before that he’s told me about. Where we wouldn’t be out of place and we could touch...you know?”

It was, in short, a gay club. The type of club the telepath had never been particularly interested in before, but which he thought would suit them. It would be nice to be able to hold Josh’s hand or to kiss him in public without fear of reprisal. That was as good as it would get. And they were both old enough, so it should be fine.

When the waitress appeared, Sean offered her a smile. He nodded at Josh, since he was ready to order, but he then gestured at the other boy for him to go first. The telepath was used to his dates going first when out to eat; granted, he was used to going out with women. But that didn’t make a difference as far as Sean was concerned. Manners were manners.