Does this make my butt look fat? (Raph)

[Zachary LaRousse]

The mimic just spent the last two days (Christmas) shopping with Robbie around New York and yet immediately after class the next afternoon, Zac can be found in and around Pilot Ridge’s sole mall, shopping bags of various shapes and sizes dangling from his arms. In his defense, it’s been long since he splurged around town like this – while this was a usual scene when he got his driver’s license a few years back, everything stopped when he got suspended due to that little prank he pulled in Dr. Neville’s sex talk. Two months his credit cards have been taken away, and when they finally came back, they had very restricting limits. He had to wait for a while for his dad to supposedly trust him again, to prove that he’s changed and all that, before they were bumped up to his usual ceiling.

Boy was he thankful his father finally realized the necessity of such a ceiling when Christmas came in. He’d be so embarrassed if he didn’t get the chance to rub his riches on his friends’ facesget his friends deserving gifts, as well as grab a few extras for his own.

In any case, the boy had just finished his first round of shopping, and after putting all those bags in the trunk of his car, was ready for round two. He found himself in a lingerie/underwear store, utterly captivated by the stuff they have in store. When was the last time he bought new underwear after all? Three weeks ago? Four? He’s been buying shoes and shirts and jeans so much but not enough boxers and briefs. This must be remedied.

“Hey you, you’ve got a minute right?” he said, tapping the shoulder of the guy beside him, “You look capable. Which would look better on me, this, this or this?” Not that he couldn’t buy both, but hey, there’s nothing wrong about asking a random dude for his opinion, right?

[Raphael Jenkins]

Once again he found himself in the mall, avoiding the studying he should be doing. He’d had one final, and passed it, and another three loomed on the horizon of next week. But that was next week. Plenty of time to study come Monday. So, Raphael strolled through the mall, looking slightly more preppy than usual in a collare,d button down and slacks. His outfit today was in deference to the shopping he’d had to do. Upper class stores had issues with their patrons being in jeans and worn t-shirts. He hadn’t figured out why, since money was money, but he got better service when he dressed as they liked. And fast service was the key since he’d only gone in to buy presents for his family. Now, the bags swung in a small arc from his left hand as he entered the odd boutique.

Raphael couldn’t recall when he’d ever seen a men’s lingerie and underwear store, however, he fully approved. Dark eyes roved over the merchandise as he wove through the racks, slowly accumulating several hundred dollars worth of silk and cotton boxers. Not that it took long, this was pretty much the best quality fabric to be had, and Raphael liked to have several of the same color and pattern. He set his pile down on the counter, asking the lady to hold them for him and went back to the racks. He was trying to get the afterimage of a pair of bright green neon speedos out of his mind when he was tapped on the shoulder by another guy who asked his opinion.

”Well, if you are trying to play Q*bert, I’d go with the first pair. I’m not fond of writing on my underwear personally, speaks of vanity. And zebra print? Really? All that’s going to do is camouflage a small package and exaggerate a big one. I’d suggest a solid color or a nice stripe, although staying away from briefs is better. You know, they did a study a while back, men who wear briefs have a lower sperm count.”

Raphael smiled at the other man and pulled a pair of solid blue boxers from a rack. ”Here, these will go far better with your skin tone anyway. And I like silk against my skin.” He gave the boy a smile, dropped the boxers into his hands, and winked at him. ”You should think about that.”

[Zachary LaRousse]

Well what do you know. Seems like Zac asked the right person for fashion advice.

Sure the blonde was a little abrasive with his words (a little too abrasive if you ask the heir, but that’s just because he has quite the ego), but the mimic can’t deny the logic in his words. “Sorry dude, but I don’t talk dork,” chuckled the mimic, flinging the Q*bert-inspired underwear back to the racks, “But I think I’ll take the stripes. Nothing wrong with a little exaggeration anyway, right?” Not that he needs to camouflage anything, he says. Ask him about size and he’d insist that he shouldn’t be stereotyped. (Then again, it’s not like anyone admits to such things).

“Boxers? Really?” Zac held the blue underpants with both hands, stretching the waistband a few times and feeling the fabric. True it seemed extremely comfortable and the colour was decent, but it just doesn’t feel right for the boy. “These are so…urgh,” groaned the teen, rolling his eyes. “No form and no shape whatsoever. Boring and un-sexy.” He put it over his waist and walked over the mirror, trying to imagine himself in it. While he believes he’s hot enough to wear even a potato sack and still look fashionable, it doesn’t mean that he’d actually wear a potato sack. Apparently the same principle applies here.

He gave Raphael a pout, inner brat slowly surfacing, “Who cares about sperm count? I’m not planning on getting anyone pregnant anytime soon anyway.” His uncle will kill him for sure. “Boxers are extremely unattractive dude. Haven’t had a boner from one in like, forever.” If he did, well, he insists it’s because of the person, not because of what they’re wearing. “And as much as I like solid prints, can’t you find anything else more…eye-catching?” Because even if it’ll be under his pants for most of the time, every piece of clothing must shout ‘Zac!’ the moment one sees it apparently.

Yes Raph, you’ve just been made the pompous teen’s impromptu stylist.

[Raphael Jenkins]

Raphael turned back at the other boy's complaints and lifted an eyebrow. The blond head shook slightly, and slowly, he pivoted back to pay for the underwear (all boxers) he'd left with the clerk. He didn't worry when she announced the total, well over a couple of hundred dollars, and simply signed the slip with a flourish. His delay should only serve to aggravate Mr. It's-all-about-me, and so Raphael took his sweet time in gathering his bags and rearranging things to his liking.

About five minutes of just fiddling around and wasting time later, he turned back to the oriental boy and gave a quiet sigh. In for a penny, in for a pound. "I can see that you are looking to help yourself, hence the stripes, so obviously, you haven't yet learned the art of subtlety. As for never having had a boner in boxers, that's just because you lack experience."

The boy wanted eye-catching because he wanted to make a statement in or out of clothes. Raphael found going commando made a great statement, and despite the amount of underwear he'd just bought, did so on quite a regular basis. "Sweet child, if you want to look like a narcissistic egomaniac in or out of clothes, be my guest and find something...eye-catching. I am not a fashion consultant." The disgust at the end of his sentence was easy to hear. Men really needed better taste. What was this world coming to.

"However, if you'd like to learn to appreciate the subtle art of flirtation and seduction, and how to make someone want to take your clothes off, that I would be happy to show you." The leer and smirk at the end of the statement made it quite clear that Raphael was serious, and he would teach the other man a thing or two if he wanted to learn. If he just wanted fashion advice, well, he was going to be on his own.

[Zachary LaRousse]

Raphael’s sudden departure was met with little to no complaints, mostly because Zac didn’t notice his absence until a few minutes later. The mimic apparently loved the Q*bert-inspired briefs a bit too much that he needed to actually talk and convince himself that it would do nothing good for him. That it’s rather ugly, and it’s flamboyance would do nothing but to tell others not to take him seriously (not that anyone currently does anyway). Who knew that Raph’s rather blunt advice would actually get through that thick skull of his?

Maybe Raph being blonde and a little too cute helped. Just maybe.

In any case, the moment Zac finally noticed Raph’s disappearance, a frown quickly appeared on the boy’s face, sitting on one of the stools in front of a mirror as he waited for the blonde to finish his purchase. He rolled his eyes and sent glares down the boy’s back, inwardly hoping that it’ll make the boy go faster and get back to him. Big help that did though.

“Can’t get enough of me, can you?” winked Zac when Raphael returned, patented charming smile back on his face as he stood up and showed the blonde his new choices, “So, while you’re gone doing god knows what, I grabbed a few new pairs. How do you feel about boxer briefs, like this or this? Or are you still adamant that boring things like these are the way to go?” Zac was more of a boxer briefs dude anyway. Says it’s a decent compromise between the freedom of boxers and the sexiness of briefs. Not sure it translates well to him properly though.

He quickly gave Raph an appalled look when the blonde not only accused him of needing help, he also said that he’s inexperienced. “Say what now?” Had Jam been a little more culturally insensitive, he would’ve said that Zac asked that with ‘swag’ – i.e. how media says a black person would’ve supposedly asked that. In any case, Zac does know how to control himself and only accompanied his question with a cocked eyebrow. “Don’t you go to Hammel? Or an alumni even? Don’t you know who I am?”

Tell him no and Zac would die. Just saying.

Dense as the heir might be on most matters, he does know what that leer and smirk meant. With a smirk of his own he slowly approached Raph, effectively pinning the blonde to a wall and stopping only when his nose is just a horse hair away from his. “Fine. Let’s see what you got.”

ooc:
A little crappy. Sorry Kas. >.<.
- Jam

[Raphael Jenkins]

"Sweetheart, I don't give a rats ass what you choose or don't choose to wear. I'm never going to take it off you, or put it on you, so it doesn't matter. I was just giving advice that was asked for." Raphael was rapidly moving from amused to annoyed. This kid needed to tone himself back, and learn how to be a real person and not a overeager fashionista wanna be.

Obviously, Raphael had offended him by not acknowledging his greatness. Now he was going to be even more offended. A smirk danced over the blond's face and slowly, carefully, he spoke softly. "Not a bloody clue." There was something satisfying about shoving that in the kid's face. It was petty and likely he should have tried harder to be nice, but really, shopping was all he'd come for, and this guy had come out of nowhere.

As he was backed against the wall, he kept his eyes trained on Zac. The other kid thought he had the upper hand, but really, what was he going to do? They were in public. Raphael bent his head and planted a mocking kiss on Zac's forehead. "Don't play with the big boys unless you are willing to face the consequences. Back off." He could push Zac off, but he wasn't going to employ his power in public unless he had to.

[Zachary LaRousse]

Just so Raphael knows, Zac doesn’t really give a rat’s ass about public decency and stuff. Well, he might at times, but in situations like these, not really. Not when he’s an avid patron of the store and the clerks know he buys tons of stuff when he does. He figures they know well enough not to chastise him if they wish to keep their store sales afloat. Also, he thinks he’s ‘hot’ enough to be above such rules.

Amazing what a huge ego such as his can think of, right?

As it was though, it wasn’t a sudden concern for what the public might say about what he’s doing that caused the Asian boy to back away, obviously appalled. It was more of a surprise at the blonde’s confession. That while Zac somewhat remembers the blonde (his face looks familiar), he doesn’t even strike a chord with the said blonde’s memory.

How dare he?!

“You seriously don’t know me?” he said, enunciating every word to emphasize his shock, “Not a clue about this-” the boy made a quick circling gesture around his face “-face whatsoever?” No. He just can’t believe it. “That’s bullshit. I’m Zachary La-fucking-Rousse. How can you not know me!”

He is the son of one of the richest man in the world. Heir to their company and all that high society mumbo-jumbo. He’s also appeared in a number of magazine spreads, among others. Supposedly for being ‘one of the most eligible bachelors in the world’. But everyone knows how magazines can exaggerate most of the times.

His ego instantly deflated, the boy could do nothing but to cross his arms over his chest and shake his head in contempt. “Big boys? I highly doubt that’s big.” Weak, he knows. But it’s not like he can think clearly with the realization that he’s apparently not as well-known as he thinks he is.

[Raphael Jenkins]

Raphael was amused by the other boy's reaction. Anyone that was highly offended by the fact that you had no idea who they were, had to have an ego the size of Alaska. The blonde would be the first to admit his own issues with ego, but they weren't at great as this kid's. He could recognize when he was being an ass, at least most of the time. This Zachary must be another rich kid who thinks the world should bow at his feet. Raphael was glad that he wasn't that way.

He reached up, a hand sliding against Zachary's cheek, and patted lightly. "There there now, don't get your panties in a twist. I'm sure your importance will be important someday." A small smile danced across his lips and he turned away, eager to leave the store before any more inappropriate behavior was committed. While he didn't mind it, he didn't want it to get back to his parents. That would be really, really bad.

There'd be more rounds of lecturing and crying and non-acceptance, and it was just to much for him to handle. He didn't like upsetting them, but it wasn't going to change who he was or what he was going to be. There was simply no hope for him ever to try girls, although he would admit that flirting with them could be fun. The good ones flirted back and understood that he wasn't out for anything from them.

He paused and looked back at Zac. "Oh and Zachary, the briefs are fine."