FUUUUUUUUUUUUU[Brendan]

[Vincent Verax]

Vincent felt sick as he stared down at Brendan's name on his phone. Mere minutes ago, he'd been informed that his boyfriend had cancer, and Brendan hadn't even been the one to tell him about it.

He was worried, he was scared, and he was frustrated. As he finally pressed the call button, he began biting on his piercings, lifting the phone to his ear.

One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings later, it finally picked up. And before Brendan could say a thing, Vincent's frustration won out. "WHY TH'FUCK DINNIT YOU TELL ME?!" He shouted, his poor volume control showing itself again.

[Brendan James]

It had been a good so far. As good as it could be having to tear himself away from Vincent in the mornings. It sucked, having to do work things instead of wasting the morning away in bed with the young man. But such was life.

He'd be in the middle of discussing set designs and what needed to be done and colors for painting, when he felt his phone going off in his pants pocket. Immediately, he was smiling. He loved getting calls from his boyfriend while he was at work. Sure, it was probably unprofessional, getting personal calls (and actually taking them) during working hours. But he did anyway. "If you'll excuse me. I need to take this."

Brendan cringed at the yelling that ensued. And he felt his stomach tighten. He wondered what he could've possibly done to cause such a reaction from Vin. He thought he'd been behaving fairly well. "Holy fuck Vin... I'm deaf. Just... hold on. Give me a minute"

Waving his hand in apology, Brendan decided this clearly wasn't going to be a conversation to have in front of employers, so he made his way outside. "Now, what are you screeching about? Why didn't I tell you what?" It was clear to the set designer that Vin was upset about something obviously. But he knew that Bren was at work. Couldn't it have waited for a more appropriate time to discuss it?

[Vincent Verax]

His poor phone was nearly crushed in his fist as Brendan told him to hold on, but he was much too flustered to actually object. Instead, he just made several awkward mouth noises, staring at the wall as if it had been the one to offend him.

And when Brendan played dumb (even though there was no playing involved) Vincent just groaned. "Ya know what ahm talkin' bout!" He accused, starting to pace back and forth between the kitchen and the living room. It was his concern for Brendan's well-being that took over then. "That y'have..." He didn't even want to say that word. "Can... cancer." It came out in a whisper, as if he'd said it loud it would somehow spell Bren's demise.

Vincent fell back against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. "Are y'gunna be okay?" His voice quivered as he drew his knees up, wrapping his arm around his shins.

[Brendan James]

So... It wasn't exactly unusual to hear Vincent be reduced to simply making sounds. Actually, it was quite common. But Bren had quickly learned to just listen, without giggling, and wait until he was a bit more calm to have him explain.

Brendan was pacing back and forth on the particularly empty street, most people being at school or work. But there were still a handful of people strolling around, doing errands. "Vin, I swear I don't." His voice had taken on a pleading sound. Something was obviously wrong, Vin obviously held him responsible. And Bren was determined to rectify the situation before they hung up.

There wasn't much noise around, typical street noise that wasn't overly loud. But Bren felt the need to stick his finger in his other ear in an attempt to better hear his boyfriend. "What? I can't hear you when you whisper like that babe."

"Of course I'm gonna be ok. Vin I'm fine." At this point, Brendan was concerned of course, his boyfriend had called him in hysterics, but he was more confused. He had no idea was the young man was talking about, but it clearly needed his attention. "Please tell me what the hell is wrong."

[Vincent Verax]

There was a thud as Vincent's head hit the wall, thinking that a good smack might stop the headache that was throbbing in his temples. (It didn't, it just made the back of his head hurt.)

But Brendan was still keeping up the act, saying he was fine when Vincent knew he wasn't. Why didn't Bren want to tell him? Why was he keeping it secret? Were there other things that he didn't know about Brendan, things as big as this? Vin was nearly on the verge of panic, thinking of what other secrets Brendan was withholding.

Eventually, though, he blurted, "Will ya cut th'shit already, Brendan?!" His fingers dug into his leg. "I know yer sick! I know y'got cancer!" And just like that he'd said it, and Brendan likely would have heard the clapping sound of Vincent covering his own mouth with his hand a little too vehemently.

[Brendan James]

To say that Brendan was shocked at Vin had said was the understatement of the century. Cancer? Where the hell would he get an idea like that? he wondered. Never before had he felt his mind so completely blank. It was weird. For an honest moment, his brain had just stopped. There wasn't a single thought.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" If he'd been paying attention to his surroundings, he would've noticed that a woman with a small baby on her chest had given him a look. And if he had noticed, he would've told her (probably rudely) that it was a baby and therefore didn't know its ass from its head.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Bren shook his head, as if that would help to clear things up. "Vin, who the hell told you I have cancer? They lied. That's ridiculous." He begun shaking a little bit. What kind of person made up a lie like that? What kind of cretin did that?

[Vincent Verax]

Brendan's accusation that Levi was a liar made Vincent gasp. "Levi tol' me! An' he dinnit lie! He knows things! S'what he does!" So what if Levi also thought that Sam was a vampire, or that The Claw was Spiderman. (Sammy did bite him a lot and who knows, Evan's claw might shoot webs.) Yes, Vincent was defending a kid he barely knew over his own boyfriend who was totally still trying to keep the fact that he had cancer secret.

"I don' care 'f ya got cancer, Bren, I jus' wanna know if yer gunna be okay." Maybe Brendan didn't want to tell him because he was afraid that Vin would leave him. Maybe if Vincent assured Bren that he'd stick through his side through anything, even cancer, then he would finally admit it.

He straightened his legs out, his head rolling against the wall. "Yer goin' t'a doctor an' shit, righ'?" He picked at a loose thread on his shirt absently.

[Brendan James]

Levi? Sounded vaguely familiar. Probably a kid at Hammel. But that was not the point. The point was that Bren, for half a second, kinda hated whoever this Levi person was for a moment. Look at what he had caused between them? And for what? Because he was twisted? "Well he doesn't see things Vin! I don't have cancer."

But Brendan was growing quickly frustrated. The fact that Vin was choosing to believe somebody else over him wasn't lost on the older man. And, while it might have been an overreaction (shocking from Brendan, right?), he took that as a slap to the face.

With an exaggerated sigh, Bren leaned against the wall of the building he was pacing outside of. "Ok ok..." Since his boyfriend wasn't going to believe him, Brendan decided that there was only one thing to do. No matter how much this would guarantee him an afterlife in hell, if there was such a place.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Vin. I just... Didn't know how. I'm going to doctor, yeah." His voice was quiet. For two reasons. One, it was easier to sound as if this were something he didn't want to talk about. Two, well, he didn't want anybody to hear him. It was bad enough to being doing this to his boyfriend. But he didn't need somebody he knew hearing this in passing and word getting out that he was dying.

"I didn't tell you... Or anybody else... Because it's not looking good Vin. It was caught really late. I didn't want anything to change. And this, well, it'll make people look at me differently."

So that sickening, regretful feeling that most people get automatically when the do something bad? The one that Brendan was missing? Yeah, well he was experiencing it now. One of the very times in his life I might add. He wasn't sure exactly how far he could let this go on for.

[Vincent Verax]

When Brendan finally admitted it, Vincent turned green. He honestly thought for a while there that he was going to be sick. His stomach was twisting and turning and tying itself into knots. His entire body shook like he was shivering. He didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. All he did was making a little choking noise somewhere in the back of his throat.

Anyone that knew Vincent knew that he rarely cried. In fact, the only time he had in recent memory was when Moe had left. Tears were burning in his eyes as he thought of losing Brendan, but Vincent was trying to hold them back, pressing the heel of his hand into his eyes as he sniffed.

"Bren... y'shoulda jus' tol' me." He mumbled after a long pause, sagging against the wall. "I woulda helped y' or somethin'." He was pouting, trying not to focus on what this meant for them and their relationship.

Chewing on the inside of his lip, Vin asked "Can... Can y'come home soon?" rather helplessly. If Bren was really that sick, he didn't need to be at work anyways. He needed to be home so Vincent could latch onto him and pretend like things were going to be alright and he didn't have to worry that Brendan was dying or what he would do without him.

[Brendan James]

The choking sounds. The sniffling. Brendan felt like a huge asshole. But he hadn’t been able to see another way to make Vin believe him. That and he thought it’d be kinda funny. Though, he was quickly realizing the error of his line of thinking.

So now the question was to continue the charade or let up that he had been a raging douche to make Vin see the error of his ways. “You’re right… I should’ve told you. I’m sorry Levi did.” Clearly, he was going with stick with it and making the whole situation worse.

But the thought of being able to go home early wasn’t exactly unappealing. And he was pretty sure he’d be able to manage it. His call had seemed pretty important after all. It’d be easy enough to swing that there was an emergency and he had to go home. “Yeah. I can come home. I’ll tell them there’s an emergency.”

It was then that he thought of the repercussions of what he’d just done. Vin thought Bren was dying. Did he really wanna go home to that? Chewing his lip, for half a moment, he considered let Vin just think he had cancer for the rest of their lives. Eventually he’d tell the boy he’d beaten it. And all would be better and that would be the end of it. Right?

He only considered that for a second though. And then proceeded to be disgusted with himself. Because only a REALLY, AWFUL, HORRIBLE person would do something like that. So he decided to come clean. Plus… ya’ know, it’d give the boy time to calm down before Bren got home. “Vin… Honestly… If I had cancer, I would tell you immediately. No matter what.”

[Vincent Verax]

Vincent felt just a tiny bit better when Brendan agreed to coming home early. It would be so much easier seeing him face to face than hearing all this awful news over the phone. It also meant he could have the closeness that he always wanted with Bren. "Kay." His voice did little to show his relief to have him come home.

With much effort, Vincent finally pushed himself up off the floor in favor of collapsing across the couch, burying his face in the cushions. What Brendan said next confused him. "Huh?" His voice was muffled, so he turned his head to the side so that he wasn't speaking into the couch. "Wha'd'ya mean?"

Even though he'd been so dead set on Brendan having cancer before, likely due to the shock of hearing such a thing, now that Bren was denying it again, it just made him stare blankly ahead. His head had already been hurting to begin with, but now it was borderline migraine. He just wanted Brendan to be honest with him.

[Brendan James]

Now that Brendan was being honest with Vin, he felt like the biggest asshole. And he was going to have to explain his logic behind making his boyfriend think he was dying. Which was, by far, the most awful thing he’d ever done in his life.

“Honestly Vin, if I thought there was something wrong with me, I’d tell you.” His full weight was placed against the wall behind him. Yes, he should’ve thought this through before he acted. But that wasn’t his strong suit. No thought went into his actions. Ever. The only way it could be described was that even Brendan rarely knew what he was going to do or say. He simply viewed it as if his body and mind were in control and he was just along for the ride.

But he doubted that excuse would get him out of trouble with Vin. Balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder, Bren began chewing and picking at his nails and cuticles. “Look, I’ll be home soon. But Vin, I mean come on… Something major like that? Why wouldn’t I tell you? AndItriedtoconvinceyouthatitwasn’ttrue. But you weren’t listening to me…” His words were muddling together as he hurried to defend himself. He knew he’d done wrong.

Picking more at the tips of his fingers, he waited for the yelling to ensue. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t believe me though.” Because obviously, the only way to get out of something like this was to turn the tables around on Vin. Good thinking Bren. And in case you’re wondering, that was laced with heavy sarcasm.

[Vincent Verax]

Vin felt incredibly tired all of the sudden. He wasn't used to being this emotional and he was finding it to be downright exhausting. Now that he was relatively comfortable on the couch, it was incredibly tempting to just close his eyes and just sleep until everything fixed itself. It was only Brendan's voice that was keeping him from doing just that.

He waited until Brendan finished, rubbing his temple with his fingers in hopes of alleviating the ache. "So... y'don' have cancer?" Vin muttered quite simply, his brow furrowed. "An' yer not dyin'?" Which would have been great news otherwise, but Vincent was just finally starting to realize that Brendan had just made him think horrible, awful things. Brendan had made him cry for no reason. And Brendan had led him on about having cancer.

Sure, it was probably his fault for believing Levi over Brendan to begin with, but Vincent was not smart enough to make that connection. Again, there was a long stretch of silence as Vincent tried to understand what he was feeling. Shock, worry, frustration, anger, relief, betrayal, all of it jumbled together in one massive mess that eventually caused Vincent to crack.

"Yer a fuckin' asshole." He finally hissed, hanging up on Brendan and throwing his phone angrily across the living room, feeling slightly satisfied when he heard it clatter against the floor.

[Brendan James]

“No… I don’t. And I’m not dying.” His voice sounding small, as if he didn’t really wish to admit to it. Now it was Brendan’s turn for his stomach to twist into fearful, aching knots. What had he done? Let the record show this was the first time he’s ever done anything he’d come to regret.

And the silence that grew between them on the phone only made him feel sicker. He wasn’t sure of what to say. If Vin had ever done something like this to him, Brendan would be in hysterics, throwing a fit. Something. Anything. But Vin was silent. And that filled him with the worst kind of fear. He’d only acted in the heat of the moment, much like he always did. Never before though had it made him feel guilty. As if he was putting something he loved on the line. But he felt as if he’d done that now.

After being hung up on, the older man stood outside the building. Obviously he’d screwed things up so horribly bad. And he only wished to make things right again. So he typed up a quick text to his boyfriend.

I suck, I know. I’m awful. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m coming home now.

Then he rushed back into the building to inform people he needed to leave for ‘emergency’ reasons. Of course, he needed to make a stop or two on his way home. Most importantly, to the flower shop.