All I want for Christmas (is for you to grow up)

[Levi Xu]

Sent: 2:04 PM 12/10/2011
To: Evan <3
Your an asshole. That wasnt even mine.

Sent: 2:05 PM 12/10/2011
To: Evan <3
Its adriannas.

[Levi Xu]

Sent: 11:35
To: Evan <3
Katy Perry's on snl. If she kisses a girl ill like it too.

[Levi Xu]

Sent: 12:40 PM 12/11/2011
To: Evan
So your just ignoring me now??

[Levi Xu]

Sent: 2:52 PM 12/11/2011
To: Evan
You do know you started it.

Sent: 2:53 PM 12/11/2011
To: Evan
I dont want to date girls.

[Levi Xu]

4:47 PM 12/11/2011
BEEP
"Hey, Evan. Uh... Look, I'm sorry for those texts. Please stop ignoring me."

[Levi Xu]

10:23 PM 12/11/2011
BEEP
"Uh, Evan? It's me again. Um, can you call me back? I really am sorry about yesterday. It's just it sounds terrible when you say stuff like I don't want to date you. Of course I do. Please stop ignoring me and call me back. I love you."

[Levi Xu]

10:24 PM 12/11/2011
BEEP
"And I know your phone isn't dead, since it's ringing. Please call me back."

[Levi Xu]

9:21 AM 12/12/2011
BEEP
"Oh, uh, okay. Your phone is off now. You probably know that. I really hope you didn't turn it off because of me. I'm sorry I called you stupid and insecure, okay? Just call me back, please."

[Evan Brackett]

Sent: 4:58 PM 12/12/2011
To: Levi x
I'm so, so sorry. Please don't be mad.

[Levi Xu]

6:03 PM 12/12/2011
BEEP
"I just realized I'm probably calling during dinner. I'm sorry. Uh, I guess you got my messages. I'm not mad, really. And I'm sorry we..."

Levi was actually pretty surprised when he heard his boyfriend pick up. He had been getting used to leaving his messages. Which he hated, so he was relieved as well. "Hey, Evan."

[Evan Brackett]

Evan was alone, staring at the wall, lost in thought. A Christmas movie was playing on his t.v. His mother left it on for him before she left to go make dinner, but he wasn't watching it. His relatively new cell phone lay forgotten on his bedside table, untouched since he plugged it in and sent Levi the text. He jumped when it suddenly buzzed to life, the melody of Teenage Dream downing out the background noise of his room.

With mild trepidation, the phaser reached over and grabbed the device. The song played on, the chorus repeating twice before fading into silence. He didn't want to answer the phone and face his boyfriend--or, at least, he hoped Levi was still his boyfriend, he really wasn't sure anymore--on the end of line. A few seconds after the ringtone stopped, he finally worked up the courage to hit the talk button. He let Levi talk on for another moment, then gave a quiet "Hello?".

Van cleared his throat after the other boy responded. "Hey," he said weakly. "I'm really, really sorry, okay? I'm sorry for the magazine, I'm sorry for getting angry, I'm sorry for everything." His voice was starting to crack, and he had to take a deep breath before continuing. "I wasn't ignoring you, and I...I don't know what else to say." He had so much to say, it was just hard to form the words.

[Levi Xu]

Levi flopped back on his bed, grinning widely. He'd been hoping that Evan would forgive him for the fight, and that they hadn't just broken up the day before winter break. The freshman breathed a sigh of relief and let the older boy apologize too. Everything was going to be okay....except Evan sounded really weird. Like he was about to cry. "It's really okay, Van. It was a stupid fight. Let's just forget about it."

"Van? You okay?"

[Evan Brackett]

Hearing that Levi was over the fight helped calm him a bit. It was nice to hear some good news, and at least he didn't have to worry about that anymore. "Okay. Forgotten," he said, his words clipped. The next bit wouldn't be so easy.

Evan knew the question was inevitable, and he dreaded having to respond. As much as he didn't want Levi to hear this, lying would only make things worse in the long run. And God forbid he found out through someone else. "No, Lev. I'm not." He knew no one wanted to hear that from their boyfriend, but he still hesitated before explaining. "Something happened on Saturday, and...don't freak out, okay?" He didn't have high hopes for that request.

[Levi Xu]

That....really didn't sound good.

Levi sat up again and bit his lip. He was used to Evan being nervous in general, but not while talking to him. But when he spoke like that... Honestly, it sounded like the older boy was going to say something awful, like he'd cheated on him with Zac or something. "Uh...okay. I won't." At least he'd try not to.

[Evan Brackett]

And it was awful news. Not the sorry-we-had-a-fight-and-I-slept-with-someone-else kind of awful news Levi was anticipating, but awful all the same. "Okay, well," he began slowly, trying to come up an easy way to say it. He didn't think there was one. "Um. You know I'm not very good at phasing, right? I had another accident."

Well, that was as easy as it was going to get. "I-I fell again, but not through something. I, um, slipped on a patch of ice, and when I tried to catch myself on the porch, my arm kinda got stuck in the railing." His story stopped abruptly there as he looked down to his right. Even though he had lived it, he still had a hard time believing it had happened, and there were no words to describe how he was feeling. He wasn't quite empty, he wasn't quite lost. Missing was the best word he could think of, and that didn't even come close.