Focus and Friction (Open)
Oct 19, 2011 15:46:18 GMT -5
Post by Yulia Sokolov on Oct 19, 2011 15:46:18 GMT -5
The job at Hammel was a blessing, had been a blessing, always was a blessing. Even in her current state of disarray this was an anchor. She was a decent enough trainer, perhaps she pushed too much sometimes, but her entire training had been so dramatically different that it had taken some time for her to get used to how things were done here. This was something that she could always do, no matter what and that was like a breath of fresh air. How was it that civilian life could be so much harder than her time in the military? Well, a few reasons came to mind.
First of all she had not needed to think back then. Not in the same way that she did then. She now had to decide whether or not she wanted to actually do something as opposed to how she wanted to go about something she had no choice but to do. Options, as it turned out, were freaking terrifying. Self motivation beyond survival was also kind of strange, at least in Lia’s opinion. Maybe due to it she did feel like she lacked some purpose. The idea of herself as a teacher had yet to really click into focus.
The other reason was something that she liked to think of as a cultural difference, but she knew the truth. She was still living in that past, because it was something she knew and something that now felt same to her since she was physically separated from it. She knew that she needed to get out of that mentality as it wasn’t doing her any good, but it was just beginning to crack. Well for now she could slip back into her professional world for a little while. Work was always easy on the thought process, the goal at least was clear.
So Lia waited for her next trainee, not even looking at the list. She didn’t want to read about them, she wanted to see what they could do. Then again it might be one of the students that she knew already, either was looking at the printed name seemed a waste of time especially since she was already focused.
First of all she had not needed to think back then. Not in the same way that she did then. She now had to decide whether or not she wanted to actually do something as opposed to how she wanted to go about something she had no choice but to do. Options, as it turned out, were freaking terrifying. Self motivation beyond survival was also kind of strange, at least in Lia’s opinion. Maybe due to it she did feel like she lacked some purpose. The idea of herself as a teacher had yet to really click into focus.
The other reason was something that she liked to think of as a cultural difference, but she knew the truth. She was still living in that past, because it was something she knew and something that now felt same to her since she was physically separated from it. She knew that she needed to get out of that mentality as it wasn’t doing her any good, but it was just beginning to crack. Well for now she could slip back into her professional world for a little while. Work was always easy on the thought process, the goal at least was clear.
So Lia waited for her next trainee, not even looking at the list. She didn’t want to read about them, she wanted to see what they could do. Then again it might be one of the students that she knew already, either was looking at the printed name seemed a waste of time especially since she was already focused.