Sick of Wasting Away (Open)

[Linden McKay]

Linden was more open to physical contact when it meant next to nothing. He was used to guys smacking his ass and acting like utter morons by groping him to show that he was their bitch, but that was just something guys did to stake their claim. Had it been a girl…he might be a little more uncomfortable. Intimate touching was a no-go. He could only take so much. Hand-holding, snuggling, kissing on the cheek, just no. He couldn’t handle the cutesy stuff, even if he did come off as ‘Prince Charming’ to a lot of girls. It wasn’t as if he tried to be their perfect guy. He straight up told girls that he was only in it for the sex and yet they still tried to get something more from him. Ugh. It was all just very irritating.

It had taken a few years for Linden to fully be able to let his family in after he manifested. When he was young it was no problem, but after he manifested, he changed. Ceri would come running up to him looking for a hug and he’d stare at her as if she were an alien. He didn’t play with Deidra or Kierri when they were little, he’d sit for hours staring at the computer screen or playing video games. It wasn’t until he was about fourteen that he finally started to return back to that boy with the smart mouth and irresistible charms. It was also when he started to treat girls like they were nothing more than an accessory. He had never been in a real relationship, not even when he was a teenager. He lost his v-card at fifteen to an older girl and after that, it all went down hill. If he ever had a relationship, the girl would have to keep a tight leash on him and she’d have to know that he was new to the whole dating thing.

Linden never really understood the concept of love. Was it a feeling? Was it a phase? Was it even real? Yes, he’d seen his parents happily married since he could remember. They seemed to be honestly happy together, but was it love? And how could they be sure it was? There were simply too many questions for him to believe that he was able to fall in love. The way his mind worked, he had to find the answer to all questions in order to truly believe something. Love was a topic he would never understand or believe. Not unless he really felt it. But how would he know?

Love or not, he still wanted Miranda to stay in his life. She was one of the few people who he’d actually spoke to about his feelings and innermost thoughts. He hoped they’d be able to be friends, maybe then they could be true fwbs. He liked having her around because he felt less like the world was falling apart around him. She’d allowed him to forget about his sister if only for a few moments. He hadn’t had a chance to really stop thinking since it happened. As if to make what he felt more solidified, the kiss just made his heart take off. It was almost too hard for him to handle because very rarely did he kiss a girl like this. The tenderness that held as much desire as he had, but also had him craving more and not in the way he did before sex. It was only adding to his confusion. She pulled away and he looked down at her wondering if he should be regretting this.

Her words sent a sharp pain through his chest and he dropped his hands. His arms hung at his sides and his jaw set. He wasn’t angry, but for once, he was hurt. As she walked away from him, his mind worked faster than any human’s would have. A plan was already set in motion by the time she got to the shore. Slowly, he slid deeper into the water, enough so that he could just touch the bottom. He went under without much of a sound and begged for God to let him drown if she didn’t notice.

[Miranda Suery]

Miranda wasn’t physical with friends, or really anyone else she didn’t plan on bedding. And even that was a simple job. Get undressed, get in, get out, go home. There was no emotional attachment, purely physical release. When she met Linden at the restaurant that day, those things had been established. He hadn’t asked anything more from her and she never expected him to change. Truth was, she never wanted him to. He was the most real, and honest person she had ever met, even though they used each other. It just seemed to work, and even though she was the farthest thing from being a damsel in distress, there was still something oddly romantic about the whole thing.

Miranda lost her virginity around the same time as Linden, after finding her powers (or maybe it was just her terrible body) prevented her from having kids. She had been pretty resilient before that happened. After that, she started giving herself away because it didn’t matter anymore. She had the chance to express herself without any consequences, and that was important to her. Someone like Linden, with a huge family, wouldn’t want someone like her. And even if she could have kids, he probably still wouldn’t want her. No one would ever want her, and she was happy to be someone’s accessory, because it was her only option.

Through all this soul searching, Miranda wasn’t trying to imply that she might love Linden. She was just trying to understand something that everyone else seemed to have a firm grasp on. She didn’t think being friends with him would ruin their sex life, but she did worry she’d start to want to be around him more. That’s what happened when you connected with people, it was a natural human response. In any case, she was done getting to know him for now. At least when they were just having sex, everything was straightforward. Why did things have to change?

Funny that a kiss would make her run in the other direction. Funny that a kiss held more emotion and meaning that the very acts they performed night after night. She held her body still as she slipped on her clothing, her eyes settling on the book she brought. She staggered around a bit, before standing quite still. It was quiet, too quiet. Mira looked behind her. Linden was gone. She stepped back into the water, spotting his figure under the water. A few more moments passed, and he wasn’t coming to the surface. Miranda shot into the water, diving in with all of her clothes on. Her long fingers stretched towards Linden, first touching his face, and then wrapping around his waist, trying to get him up and out of the water.

[Linden McKay]

Linden had the mind of a computer which meant highspeed when it worked and great with obtaining information. In the few moments that he went under, he thought. His first thought was about his sister, his family. If he were to drown, Ceri would be ridden with guilt and despair and grief. His mother would cry for hours in a day because her little Linny would be gone. After everything that he'd went through when he manifested, his mother and father had stayed with him through it all. He couldn't simply end it all right then just because a girl didn't like him the way he liked her. It wasn't fair to Ceri and it wasn't fair to his parents. Hell, even Jaythen didn't deserve that kind of grief.

The next thought that went through his mind was what he had planned for himself after the alcoholism was taken care of. He wanted to finish college as a good student, not mediocre. He wanted to work for the government in a special Meta division or something cool like that where he could excel with his power. He wanted to grow up and mature. He wanted to stop being such a disappointment and waste of space. He couldn't do that if he was dead.

So maybe it was an irrational thought that he wanted to drown if Miranda didn't notice. It was selfish. That was when his mind focused on her. Miranda; the girl who'd started out as just another bet. From there she went to a screw pal. Now they were talking about feelings as if they were friends with benefits. But then there was what he wanted, what he wished she would want from him. Love.

He closed his eyes underneath the water, just a few more seconds and he'd have to make the choice; drown and cause his family a world of pain or suck it up and be a man to face the world as it came. Before he made the choice, he felt the water around him stir and fingers brushing against his face. He kept his eyes closed. The arms wound around his waist and with little movement on his part, he was pulled out of the water.

Linden couldn't find it in him to open his eyes quite yet. Maybe she'd think he was dead? Would she care then? It didn't matter. She was just a girl, someone he liked to use for sex. He couldn't keep letting his emotions get in the way. He was a computer, and that was what he intended to act like. No emotions, no feelings, just instincts and facts. He kept his body still, barely breathing, preparing himself for what was about to happen. He'd have to go back to pretending she was nothing more to him than an accessory, no matter how much he wanted her to be more. He couldn't bare to lose her company.

[Miranda Suery]

Some psychologists had thought Miranda had antisocial personality in high school when her parents made her get an assessment. They quickly realized that she simply didn’t connect with people. In fact, she could be quite friendly with the right people, and Linden was one of said people. She just didn’t always want to smile and be nice to people who didn’t deserve it anyways.

The first thought she had of Linden going under, was that he was just playing a cruel joke. And then, it turned out that Linden wasn’t coming up, and Miranda couldn’t bear the thought of a life without him, even though they were only now becoming friends. Miranda didn’t have a lot of friends, and well, Linden was probably her favorite one. And he was drowning, she couldn’t just let him. That didn’t mean she loved him, did it?

Finally up and out of the water, Miranda let Linden float on his back. She was behind him, his head in the crook of her neck. He wasn’t opening his eyes. She brushed the hair out of his face. His nostrils flared a little with each breath. He hadn’t drowned, he just, hadn’t wanted her to leave. She smiled a bit, thinking he was quite the drama queen. “Did you want me to stay?” She asked. There was no one else here. They could easy sleep the afternoon away together. That sounded nice. She wasn’t accusing him or freaking out on him for the act he just pulled. Really, she was just glad he wasn’t actually drowning.

[Linden McKay]

Had it been a cruel joke? Maybe at first that's how he'd meant it, but then it turned out that he had really just needed a place to sort through the mass chaos in his mind. More than likely, he never would have let himself stay under, that was stupid. Linden's mind wouldn't have let him because it simply wouldn't stop counting down the minutes until he'd drown if he continued to stay under water. Subconsiously, his mind would have saved him, had Mira ignored it.

That didn't make him any less grateful that she hadn't just up and left while he was under. At lease she had cared enough to come back for him. He internally groaned, that didn't mean she loved him or even liked him like that. It just didn't and he needed to stop caring about that. But...he didn't want to. He wanted to hope that someone like her could prove to him that love really did exist and that what he was feeling was real. It was a lot to ask for, but he just wished it would happen so that he could be sure he wasn't as messed up as he believed.

Linden couldn't help but think of what he'd just done. It was rash and ridiculously stupid of him. Just because she was leaving, didn't mean he should have reacted as such. Damn, Jaythen was starting to rub off on him. The very thought of that made the sides of his mouth twitch up slightly. Then he heard her speak and he sighed deeply peeking through one eye up at her. "Kinda," He laughed and was happy that she wasn't screaming at him or hitting him, at least she wasn't yet.

[Miranda Suery]

Miranda was excited to hear that Linden wanted her to stay. It didn’t happen very often than men wanted her to stick around for much more than their own gratification. She’d been told to leave quite often, and left more often than that. Not that she was one for milling about once the deed was done. They hadn’t even had sex and Linden just wanted her to stay. It was nice. It was different.

The girl smirked a bit, before pushing Linden under water softly. Now she wanted to play, and since he didn’t mind scaring the shit out of her, she would happily return the favour. So much for taking a nap together. She had thought about taking his hand and leading him out of the water, but she simply wasn’t done with him yet.

[Linden McKay]

Linden didn't mind that they hadn't done the usually activities that happened when they were together. He liked being able to just hang out with someone who could help him relax. Her presence alone helped with that. It was so different. Usually, Linden only craved the company of a woman for his own selfish reasons, but now, he wanted her company, not her body. Though, he wouldn't mind being able to get close to her physically.

He watched her smirk and knew what she was planning. He sucked in a breath before she dunked him and once he came back up he let out a laugh, "Oh so because I didn't drown, you're trying to make me? Well, well it looks like I'm gonna have to take care of that." Linden smiled wickedly at her and splashed her playfully. He'd never done this before, not with someone who wasn't his sibling.

Once he distracted her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and tossed her into the water. Was this what happened when people flirted with someone they really liked? Trippy stuff.

[Miranda Suery]

Miranda was laughing, a strange sound that didn't come out of her very often. Well, she thought it was strange. It hurt her face just to smile, never mind laugh. "I wasn't trying to drown you!" She insisted, giving him her best innocent look. His splashes didn’t even touch her as a small shield went up. Miranda gave Linden an amused smirk behind the splashes that collided with what appeared to be an invisible bubble. Miranda added ‘fun’ to the list of things that made up Linden. It was a small list that consisted of ‘good in bed’ and ‘caring’ (in that order) but she hoped it would be more than that eventually.

As soon as she let her guard down, literally, he had his arms around her waist. An electricity passed through them that Mira couldn’t pinpoint, but something told her she wouldn’t mind his arms around her more often. She laughed as he tossed her into the water. She hadn’t laughed this much before.

Staying under the water, Miranda held her breath and swam towards him reached for his feet. Hopefully Linden was ticklish.

[Linden McKay]

Hearing her laugh was so different. He rarely got a genuine smile out of her, well at least before today it had been rare. Now she was laughing and he found himself wanting to hear it more. He never wanted her to stop smiling because it lit her face making her that much more beautiful. Joining in with her, he couldn't help but add those two things to the list of things that he liked about her. It was becoming quite a hefty list.

Linden gave her a skeptical look and smirked, "Yeeeah right. I almost believe that." He laughed and continued to splash her, though he knew it was probably completely pointless. Though, it did cause as quite the distraction. It was probably a good thing she took down the field around her, otherwise he'd have run right into it. But would it hurt? Hm, that was something he sort of wanted to find out.

He hadn't expected her to stay under, but he watched as she swam closer to him. His eyes grew once she got close to his feet and he tried to swim away to refrain from being tickled. Damn her for figuring it out! He didn't move his legs much, just because he didn't want to kick her, so he used his upper arm strength to put distance between them, the whole time laughing and wailing, "No! Not the feet! Pleeease not there! God dammit Mira!"

[Miranda Suery]

If Linden wanted to know more about how Miranda’s powers worked, he’d have to stick around and find out. She hadn’t ever used them in the bedroom, but she wasn’t opposed to trying. With the right person.

After tickling him for a little while, Mira resurfaced, but everything under her mouth remained underwater. “I didn’t know you were ticklish,” she said, swimming after Linden. He was just starting to be adorable and Mira couldn’t get enough. She smiled like a water nymph, ready to trap him in a kiss.

[Linden McKay]

Linden was rather enjoying himself. Having fun like this with her was such a relief from the constant stress he'd been under lately. He liked that he didn't have to be so sullen and depressing around her. She made him laugh and he was successful at making her laugh which just made it better. This little trip to the lake had turned out to be a lot better than he expected.

Linden watched her while she continued to tickle him. The feet weren't even the worst part. If she ever started poking under his ribcage, he'd turn into a giggling girl. It was quite entertaining really, though he tended to disagree. Being tickled made him feel less masculine because he was squirming and laughing uncontrollably. It simply was not fair that he was ticklish. And even more so now because Miranda had just acquired power over him.

"No one is supposed to know that I am ticklish because I do not particularly like being tickled. Well, okay being tickled by a girl doesn't bother me, but only when I'm fooling around!" Linden smirked at her as she swam closer. He stood so that the water came up to just below his chin. As she came closer he reached out for her, hesitantly this time because he didn't want to scare her away.

[Miranda Suery]

Miranda had gone for Linden’s feet first because that was her worst ticklish spot. In fact, she really wasn’t ticklish anywhere else, it was the strangest thing. She wondered if it had anything to do with the force fields. It wasn’t something she gave a lot of thought to, but she figured the best place to start would be with what she knew. And it had worked in her favour.

She would’ve loved to see him laugh uncontrollably. And he really wouldn’t be able to push her away.

Miranda gave Linden a lopsided smirk. “What do you mean in bed? I’ve never tickled you in bed,” she said, putting what he said in the back of her mind. Hmm, why that sudden pang of jealousy? She knew that Linden was a player, and this had never bothered her before. So what had changed?

Instead of going for a kiss, Miranda let Linden pull her closer to him, and she looked down at the water between them. She didn’t want to fall in love with someone who liked more than one woman. She looked up at him like she was about to kiss him, looking from his eyes to his lips. But her hands were steadily on their way to his sides, and once they hit their destination, she smiled, her lips broad, and tickled him furiously.

[Linden McKay]

Linden wasn’t usually one to tickle anybody. It was too intimate and personal. The only person he’d ever pinned down to tickle was Ceri but that had been nearly fifteen years ago. It was different when they were younger. Using it as a flirtatious tool had never come to mind, though clearly it worked. Miranda tickling him was just making him want her more. Not for sex, simply for touch. He found himself craving it now more than he ever had before. The more she laughed and smiled, the more attractive he found her.

Was this normal behavior? Not for Linden, not at all. He never looked at a woman’s smile and wanted to bang her. He always went for body first, that or if the girl was easy. Physical attraction was one thing, but he wasn’t just physically attracted to Miranda anymore. So much had changed in such a short time.

“Not yet! But oh you will. Now that you know about it, you so will!” Linden laughed and shook his head, oh this was bound to be interesting. What he’d said hadn’t been serious. Nobody knew he was ticklish, therefore no one tickled him while they were trying to seduce him. If Miranda did, well she’d be the first and he wouldn’t mind sharing that with her. He’d read somewhere that tickling really was a turn on to some people. Maybe not tickling the feet for him, but maybe if she got to his really ticklish spot he’d find out.

And boy was he in for it.

He was glad she allowed him to pull her closer. His hands rested on her waist lightly so he wasn’t necessarily ‘holding’ her. As Linden looked down at her, he couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to do about this situation. Should he stop bed-hopping? Would she? But why would she if she didn’t return his feelings? Still, he couldn’t help but be turned off by the thought of another person sleeping with him instead of her. His eyes traveled from her down her face and settled on her lips. He was aching to kiss her, and once she started tickling him, well he wanted a lot more than just kissing. But that was momentarily silenced by his inability to breathe from laughing so hard, “Mira stoppp!” He laughed harder and yet stayed where he was, unable to move at all, nor did he want to.

[Miranda Suery]

It was funny that what most people would consider intimate, these two thought was normal and came first. Sure, why not have sex first before foreplay? Why cuddle and watch movies when you could fuck. So then when it came down to the truly intimate things that helped people to bond, neither was capable. Like tickling. It was so innocent and yet, so meaningful. Maybe they weren’t afraid of being intimate as much as they were afraid of having their relationship actually mean something. The more he responded to her, the more she wanted to prod him to see what else would get him closer to her.

Miranda was starting to understand that connection so many people claimed to have with those they felt close to. Mira was such a shy girl, that she could barely stand to look people in the eyes, even during sex. So sneaking glances at Linden every once in a while now, was new. She just wanted to keep looking at him, and not just throttle him. Miranda just let herself be with whoever was interested, she was a consenting adult and wanted to be satisfied. In that aspect, she supposed she was more like a guy.

Miranda smiled softly. “I never have before,” she said. He still slept with her, more than once, so obviously tickling didn’t have to happen in the bedroom. Maybe it was too intimate for their usual sexy time. If only she knew he had been lying about using it in bed, maybe she’d be more willing to try it. Also, she wouldn’t feel so jealous. Maybe that’s why she didn’t even want to bother. She didn’t want to do something that would remind him of someone else. It was strange just how possessive she was feeling over him.

Miranda’s mind was only on the present. She wasn’t about to become a one man woman for someone who didn’t feel the same way, and she wasn’t about to ask what he was feeling. She too, was also turned off at someone else in his bed other than her. Miranda smiled broader still, laughing softly. “Why? Does it turn you on?” She teased, her voice low and seductive. Wait, hadn’t she not wanted to remind him of someone else? She chanced a glance into his eyes. His mind didn’t seem to be anywhere else but here, with her.

[Linden McKay]

Intimacy was a strange thing. Linden often felt disconnected from the world because of his power. Being intimate with someone was so hard for him sometimes which was why he often gave up on it. Tickling, cuddling, holding hands, the simplest things and Linden was incapable of doing it. This was so much different than what he had known before. Just this slight bit of intimacy with her, felt like it would damn near kill him. He’d die a happy man if that was the way he went. Death by tickles didn’t sound so bad really.

Having been so disconnected before, feeling this pull towards Miranda almost frightened him. Linden had always been very outgoing and social once he got control of his power. Now here he was with a girl he was falling for and that overly flirtatious guy was hiding and was replaced with a shy boy who had never experienced these feelings before. Every time he looked at her, he had to look away quickly fearing that she’d catch him staring. Though he didn’t mind looking at her so much, in fact it was hard for him to not stare. It was like admiring a picture.

Linden returned her smile shyly and rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, maybe you should.” His suggestion had him blushing. Yes that’s right, Linden Aleksander McKay was blushing! At that moment he wished that the sky would open up and swallow him whole. This was so unnerving! He didn’t like being so vulnerable and shy, but at the same time he was happy that she was seeing this side of him. She would be the first girl to get Linden to blush which was huge. If Mira used tickling to her advantage in bed, he’d always remember that as being her thing. He was incapable of thinking of someone else when he was with her.

Biting down on his lip, Linden watched her. The way she was toying with him was so unfair, and yet he couldn’t get enough. Her seductive purr had him swallowing hard. This was not a typical reaction for Linden. When she met his eyes, he found himself so lost in hers that he had a hard time focusing. Finally, his mind responded and he smiled, “Maybe it does.” He challenged as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers just lightly enough to leave her begging for more.