Can't Take It (Lani.)

[Odion Martins]

Odion and Rhett had been gone to France for a week. It turned out that Odion didn’t need three months after all to decide if he wanted to be with Rhett again. After Rhett had shown Odion the grave, there was just nothing more to do, nothing left to cling to. Odi was glad Rhett loved him, would’ve wanted to hear it sooner, but things seemed to be happening just as they should. Odion knew now for sure what he had decided a long time ago – he and Rhett were through. Sure they had chemistry, but they had worked that out while in France, well before France too. But if that’s all they had left, it wasn’t much at all.

Walking into his dorm room, Odion dreaded the coming year. He didn’t want to be here anymore, but he had nowhere else to go, and he was done with running away. This year was going to be the hardest year of his life. He would have to face Lani again eventually, but at least he had one person to look forward to seeing. The kittens greeted him cheerfully and he smiled down at then, laughed a little. The trip to France had been good – relaxing, and eye opening. He felt like a new man, ready to turn the page and start something new in his life. He wasn’t going to stop stealing, but he was determined to make something this year, at the least, graduate.

Everything that happened between himself and Lani still burned on his tongue like a bad aftertaste. He missed the blonde and yet, there was nothing left to return to. Odion looked at himself in the mirror, wondering where all his hatred had gone. He looked healthy and full, and quite dashing in his new clothes from France. Somewhere between that day and arriving today, Odi had forgiven Lani, but that wasn’t something the blonde needed to know, along with how Oidon had missed him almost every day and wished he had been good enough for Lani to trust. But Lani knew too much about him as it was, and Odi decided it would be best to move on, for the both of them.

So today, power training, forget about every blonde male in his life and try again. Odion sat on his bed, letting the kittens climb all over him as he petted them absentmindedly. He was training.

He went back in time to the last day he saw Lani, early in the morning. There was Rhett and Lani, duking it out in the student lounge early in the morning. Odion remained a shadow as he watched everything happen. Lani was more broken than Odion had given him credit for. Blinded by his own rage, Odi failed to see that Lani needed him more than he needed Lani. He had broken through Lani’s walls and then left. Odion followed Lani around, watching him sulk, cry, and just look devastated over all, making Odion feel sick to his stomach. What had he done? Who was really the bad guy here? Odion’s vision melted back into the present. He wanted to turn a new leaf, that meant not dwelling on the past…

Now Odion propelled himself into the future, the scariest part of his power. He went forward two years from now. He found himself in a small apartment, and someone with familiar blonde hair walked in and gave him an impish smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back. Odion jumped ahead again, to when he would be twenty nine, happy to note that he was actually somewhere and not simply dead. Odi looked about himself, sitting at a desk with neatly stacked piles of papers atop it. Huh, these files looked similar to the ones at Hammel, and yet… It wasn’t Hammel. He opened a drawer in search of a clue, finding a picture of Lani, sleeping soundly on what was obviously a bed they shared.

Odion recoiled, and snapped back to the present, clinging to the bed sheets underneath him, a cold sweat had overtaken. It didn’t matter where he went, Lani was always there.

[Lani Hunter]

How long had it been? Not long by accounts of time. Adrianna had been a strong person through all of this, Lani wasn’t sure he could have made it through alone. And Shapiro too. How had he forgotten all of them? So much, in just a week. The fluctuating of sleep hadn’t stopped but after the Talk Lani had entered a relatively calm wakeful period. It felt like the calm before the storm. Lani wasn’t sure why he felt as if someone died, but he did know that something in him had died. And if not dead he would never be the same. Guarded, he had always been, but trusting and responsible this was something new. Lani had stopped denying his guilt, he had done what he had done in full knowledge. He had learned how to accept his fault in this, but he had yet to figure out how to live with himself.

Without the benefit of time travel there was no way for Lani to know or even hope that things might ever be good again, between him and Odion at least. He winced visibly as his thoughts turned toward his best friend… former best friend. Those things, how could he have let those things be the last words he had spoken to the redhead? Lani was starting to wonder if he had any more tears left. For his eyes were dry. His heart screamed out in pain, for attention, for him to do something to ease it. Without thinking about it he reached for the pain killers. Swallowing a few he rationalized that his head was hurting, but it was all wrong. His head didn’t hurt and the pain in his chest didn’t recede.

Lani had resolved himself after Odion left that he was going to have to figure out how to put himself back together before he even tried to patch things with Odion. He had to first find all of the pieces. But his solution so far had been just to sit and stare into nothingness. The pain swelled and he covered his eyes feeling very tired with his grief. He didn’t want to enter another unconscious state. He had only gotten out of one, and honestly he was afraid of what he might see when he closed his eyes. He swallowed tears and stood going to the mirror. He looked himself in the eye and his hard gray daggers cut into his own soul. He pulled on what his father had said. He was a Hunter. Hunters get over it; they don’t allow things like this to hurt them. He dropped his head his hands gripping the sink as it blurred. But god it hurt so badly.

Of one thing he was sure, Odion hated him, and Lani couldn’t see a reason for him not to. Lani had come to accept that he was a liar and had kept things from Odion, but he had never meant for this to happen. There was no one else to blame. No one at all. Not his boss, not Odion, not an illness or a state of mental health. No one. Lani. He was to blame. Lani looked back up at his face and turned it to see the cut on his face. The bruises were slow to heal and of that Lani was grateful, at least he had some form of outward pain to match the inner. He pressed against a particular on against his ribs that led him to suspect more than surface damage and he smile bitterly at the pain. He shook his head and looked at himself. He was a mess. How had he let it get this bad? He splashed his face and shaved off the neglect on his face and finally ran a comb through his hair. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. He frowned, without any stubble the cut stood out even more like a brand. In reality it was a small thing, no longer than an inch and thin. But in Lani’s eyes it stood out against his pale skin like a scarlet letter.

Turning away he dove into his new favorite hoodie and despite the warmth outside he wasn’t comfortable without it. Its bagginess gave him some way to hide and he could almost imagine he could curl up inside it and be lost from the world. With this safety blanket on he ventured into the outside world, a feat he had been avoiding for what felt like ages. He had barely opened his door when he caught sight of a familiar redhead down the hall. His heart hammered in his chest and he all but slammed his door shut again. Half of Lani wanted to greet him and the other wanted to avoid him at all costs. Logic told him that the latter would be the better of the two options but Lani risked another peek out of his room. Finding the hall empty again he reached his power out just in case and felt something in Odion’s room. He could only assume it was a person because it was moving and he was not the one moving it. Lani swallowed his heart and crept down the hall like a spirit not really there but moving with purpose. He stopped and giving the door a gentle knock stepped away across the hall and was already slinking back down the hall before the door opened.

What was he doing? Why was he here? What did he hope to accomplish? His eyes watched the door and he swallowed nerves causing his power to vibrate and his heart to ache. He shook his head and lost his nerve as the door handle moved. It all seemed so slow to him but he balked remembering the pain that had brought on the shattered heart the last time he had seen Odion. He shook his head. Stupid Hunter. Odion didn’t want to see him. So in a panic he backtracked his feet stumbling over each other as he tried not to take his eyes off the door. Stupid, stupid Hunter.

[Odion Martins]

When time wasn’t a stopper, one often forgot what it meant. Really he hadn’t been gone that long, but ask the right person and it was like he never left. Ask his once best friend and it could feel like a life time. But for Odion, it had been just the right amount of time to make things clear, put things in perspective, and want to come back. It hadn’t taken that much time for Odion to sort things out in reality, when he had been through so many hardships before, perhaps this was just another tick to add to his prison cell called life. Hey, he’s going to try, that doesn’t make him an optimist.

Looking back over everything he just saw, it was interesting that Lani had still fallen apart, despite Adrianna being by his side. So Adrianna wasn’t enough, but Odion would bet that Lani was still too blind to see that.

Lani. He had never left the ginger’s thoughts, and yet, Odion had done everything from sitting and stewing with his emotions, to flat out distracting himself, but nothing worked. Be it sex, alcohol, or time travelling, Lani was ever present, and rather than drive himself mad in Europe, he may as well actually see the blonde in person and try to remain calm.

Feeling something wrap around him like a familiar blanket, Odion was standing before he heard the knock on the door. He poked his head around the door, into the common living room of his dorm room. Hmm, TK wasn’t here, so why did it feel like someone was looking right at him. Odion almost jumped out of his skin upon hearing a knock. It was terrifying now to be on his own, especially after being kidnapped... He wasn’t the hotshot he made himself out to be in front of Lani’s boss. Swallowing hard, and after a moment’s hesitation, Odion approached the door carefully. He turned the knob but didn’t open the door. What if it was Lani? He hoped it was.

“You really ought to stop popping those things like they’re candy, you look mad,” he said bleakly, nodding towards the hidden pill bottle somewhere on Lani’s person. Just another tidbit he picked up during his... travels. Odion leaned against the doorway with such cold aloofness, that it would take a miracle for Lani to register even a smidge of what Odi was truly feeling in this moment. His arms crossed across his chest didn’t betray how much he had missed Lani, but his eyes, if Lani could meet them, did. This was no ordinary welcome back, this was Lani’s personal demon coming back to haunt him, the summary of his mistakes in flesh and blood. And Hunter was just going to have to deal with it.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani was too late, the door opened and he was plastered against the wall as if trying to melt into it. Useless. The fact that his hoodie had a large Boston Celtics logo on it made it impossible to fade. So Lani stood out against the plaster his grim face set in an expression that set into a new mask that was only a fragile shell over his emotions. Lani’s eyes fell away from Odion’s face as soon as he appeared. He looked well, of that Lani was grateful. But it was bitter. Things must have gone well with Rhett in France. Lani felt the familiar sting of ice shards as the glass embedded in his heart froze and expanded. His who body chilled as he settled himself to feel numb. But the ice only increased the pain. Lani was wondering in a labyrinth. Without direction, no guidance. And he was hopelessly lost and he had no string to follow. But it was not the Minotaur he had to fear but the mirrors that showed his face at every turn. Soon running into darkness was all he could manage. The glimpse of the eyes judging and hateful drove him to run faster. He covered his eyes and it was then that he realized it was all in his head. For he couldn’t block them out. How could he live with these waking nightmares? There was no way to atone for his sins, no prayer, no apology fit to heal this wound.

Odion was back and Lani’s unstable emotions were stuck by a poisonous mixture of elation and dread. He alternatively heated and chilled until Goosebumps were reigning over his limbs. Lani closed his eyes seeing red as he tipped his head up to the light overhead. The disestablishment of Lani’s sanity was something that was hard to fix. His instability had been examined and exploited. No, not by Odion, but by his boss. He couldn’t have known the after math, but he knew when Lani did not that his pillars were made of salt. They had worn away by the same devilish salty liquid that had tried to claim his life in its preface. He had broken far easier that had he thought he would. But he also had not been prepared for such a cataclysmic fall. He shook his head at himself. He was the only one who thought so. The globe kept spinning and would keep spinning into eternity whether or not Lani was happy.

Lani bit his lip as he watched Odion’s feet. His eyes flickered to the man’s body language. Crossed arms and a hard face. Lani leaned against the wall his hands pressed against the plaster as if he were trying to force his way through. He was caught now. Fleeing was not an option. Well he had to face it eventually. Whether that be now of after years of torment Lani knew that this would catch him. He glanced up at Odion as he spoke and wondered how mad he looked. Sure he probably had some nice circles under his eyes but he had taken time to shave and clean, well kind of. Perhaps madness was all that was left for him. He had already been trailing after a white rabbit. Maybe now he was rushing after it at breakneck speed now. Was he in such a rush to be committed to an asylum? No. But he didn’t have a problem. He wasn’t abusing the drugs. Not in his opinion. But the unfortunate reality was that in a world created by truths that were created by individual opinions there were definite undeniable truths. For untruths were dangerous when they were mixed in with truth in the form of belief. One could believe that they could fly and that would not make it so. No one had a mustard seed, for no one, not even the most powerful meta could say to the mountain ‘move’ and it would move.

He unfolded his arms finding that crossing them pressed against sensitive bruises and edited his stance by putting his hands in his front pocket and slouching. He shook his head at the opening line. At least he hadn’t been met with something along the lines of ‘What the Hell do you want?’. Lani sighed and shook his head at the statement, choosing to ignore it. Wonder he noticed, Lani hadn’t even thought about it. Perhaps he was going mad, it wouldn’t be the strangest theory he had heard recently. He shrugged his inability to speak slowly being cured as he theorized how things might go in his head. He wasn’t sure why he was bothering, after all it wasn’t like he had even been able to predict Odion before. “How was France?” His voice rough from disuse.

[Odion Martins]

Oh things had gone well with Rhett indeed. So well in fact, that Odion knew exactly what he wanted, and it wasn’t Rhett. It had all been made formal in Europe. Odion was done with Rhett, done with hurting over someone who obviously didn’t give a damn, and was completely selfish. What they had wasn’t love, though Odion didn’t care what it had been. There was a certain pleasure in being able to tell Rhett exactly how he felt, though the blonde had never seemed interested in any of Odion’s inner workings, much to his own dismay. But during his trip, Odi had been lost in the pain he felt without Lani. A different pain from that of losing Rhett, which had only happened once, the trip to France only solidified it.

Frowning even deeper (if that were possible) Odion wondered if Lani was indeed mad. The blonde was looking up nervously at the light fixtures in the hallway, in prayer or in loathing he wasn’t sure. The look in Lani’s eyes was so familiar, much like the night Odi caught him red handed on the rooftop. But this time, he was exposed and open due to his brokenness. Now it seemed it was Odion’s turn to worry, about Lani no less. Had his departure really caused this much inner turmoil for Lani? Odion hoped he would be a little sad, but not this. This was... endearing and yet, borderline pathetic. And Odion didn’t know how to feel about it all.

Odion didn’t shift in his position of indifference, exuding nothing but calmness with just a hint of attitude. Lani’s presence wasn’t hated or welcomed, it was just present. “Same as it was before.” He answered, without adding anything else. Lani hadn’t asked what happened with Rhett, and even if he did, Odi wasn’t obliged to answer truthfully. The very fact Odion wasn't overreacting to anything was a clear message. Lani had seen Odion when he was truly upset by something. Some things had just made themselves clear over what seemed like overnight.

“You missed me, I take it? Or have you completely given up on taking care of yourself for fun?” Even such an observation hurt. As memory would serve, neither of them were very ‘fun’, but indeed they both were. But being an ass was what drove Lani away before, so, perhaps it would work again, as history often repeated itself in a most ironic way. If Odion could push Lani away just far enough, then they would both be happy. Lani wouldn't have to deal with Odi's heart, but not go mad from being without his friend. Odion had dealt with worse fates.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani’s eyes might be mad but his mind was contemplating if madness had always been there. Had it not just been this morning that he had resolved to take his father’s advice and forget, get over it. This week had been a hard one but as if a sign of moving on he had cleaned himself up today. But it wasn’t so easy. As if burning his connections had severed the leash completely he was moving on but in what direction. He was free. He had all the freedom he had ever wanted but now he was spiraling out of control. Perhaps Taitum had been right so many months ago had been right in saying that someone like Lani needed to be controlled. He didn’t know what to do with freedom. Somehow Odion had become his crutch and without him Lani couldn’t deal with all the external stressors. The knowledge that he no longer had connection with his boss was like being cut off from a father, a father that was better off in a burning pit, but a father none the less. The vicious combination of knowing that everyone now knew he was a screw-up and he had let down everyone that he cared about. Somehow Odion had become the center of his emotional turmoil because of his rejection.

But nonetheless he had thought he had figured out how to get over it. He had woken this morning determined to be strong and begin the hard upslope path. A few days with his family and a few days sulking had been enough to make Lani determined to show them that Lani Hunter could not be knocked down. He would rise out of the ashes and destroy his enemies. But then Odion came back and all delusions of grandeur collapsed. The waking nightmare swallowed him and he tried to retreat quickly back into the dark caverns of his mind. It was safe there. At least in his mind he was the only one disappointed in himself. It was really too bad he still had to deal with the real world. Maybe he could go insane and he would be locked away from everyone. This retreat might help short term but when the real world did in fact come back to bite him he was going to be quite unprepared for it.

And here was the person he thought might be there for him when all his walls crumbled and he had allowed him in. Sure he had lied, but look at how much more he had offered. Maybe his father was right. Family was all that mattered, he just had one for year (hopefully) here at Hammel and then he could move on with life. Lani nodded taking the statement with a grain of salt. Not reading into it wasn’t a challenge, not right now. Lani was in no state for analysis. He blinked a few times instead taking advantage of the lull to shake the tears away from his eyes and swallow the bitterness rising in him. ‘You’re a Hunter, it’s time you start acting like it,’ he heard his father’s voice, ‘Hunters don’t back down, Hunters don’t break.’ His father hadn’t added how much of a disgrace he was to the Hunter name but it was well implied. And the fighting had started anew. But even with the screaming it was knowing that for once his father didn’t threaten to kick him out that made him know the hardened old man cared. His mother had of course been more sympathetic and Caroline, well he had to explain to Caroline how it was his fault and not Odion’s so she didn’t hate the redhead she never knew.

Lani’s eyes finally snapped to Odion at the harsh question that passed his lips. Why hadn’t Lani seen this coming? “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Lani accused viciously the hope and sadness he had been feeling quickly replaced with anger and pain. Why did Odion have to say that? Lani shook his head and gave a smile that failed to reach his eyes giving him a rather crazed sinister expression. Perhaps his mother was right, he should just move on and forget Odion. ‘Obviously,’ she had said, ‘he doesn’t care.' Lani didn’t believe it, he knew it was just something mothers say when their chicks are hurt. Lani was the one who screwed up here. He was the one who needed to make things right again. Lani decided instead of arguing whether or not he was having ‘fun’ he decided to address something that had been nagging at him since Odion had said it. “I’m not an idiot you know,” he said his anger unable to stay alive, “It was stupid to keep it from you, yes. But I knew what I was getting into when I joined.” Ok, that wasn’t so true. He knew he would have to pay off his debt but he hadn’t realized how hard that would be until he was older. He only knew that if Odion went back in time and told young Lani all that was happening now he would still sign his life away. Caroline was worth that.

[Odion Martins]

Without the distraction of his boss, Lani didn’t know what to do with himself. Ultimately, it’s what he had left, and he had never sought himself out before, so of course there wasn’t any direction to it. This all made sense to Odion. Lani’s apparent madness was simply what everyone had to deal with sooner or later upon looking in the mirror.

And here was the person he thought might be there for him when all his walls crumbled and he had allowed him in. Funny, Odion swore Lani was supposed to be said person to him. Or did Lani still not understand the whole, two way street scenario?

Lani reacted just as Odion thought the blonde might. “Well you must have, you’ve been acting like I was never coming back,” Odion said, moving to one side, and gesturing into his dorm room. “These walls have ears,” he said, raising his eyebrows. If Lani wanted to talk about that, Odi would rather not have the whole student body know. The gesture itself, the obvious concern Odion had over the topic, was proof that he still cared about Lani, still wanted to protect him because the truth was, he missed Lani too. Odion would be shouting otherwise, let the whole world know so that Lani recoiled and left again.

But Lani was set, maybe he didn’t want an invitation to talk things through, maybe he just wanted to close this chapter... Odion gulped. “I hope that whatever it was that drove you into the hands of a man like your boss was worth it,” he said, not a drop of hatred or sarcasm. He really did hope Lani had prevailed through all this. The fundamental thing that had changed in Odi, was that he didn't want to pry into Lani's life anymore. Well okay, he did want to, but the want not to get hurt again was larger than the desire to know Lani.

Odion simply didn’t think he had a purpose in the blonde’s life anymore. Lani had broken down Odi’s walls much faster this time by simply speaking his mind. The ginger’s aloofness had disappeared, but he still stared Lani down, careful to not get hurt again this time. But if Lani did want to talk, and obviously he did or he wouldn’t have knocked on the door, then Odi would always be here. He didn’t break promises.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani wished it would make sense to him. The only time he remembered discussing maps he had been drunk and he really wasn’t sure if he had been making sense or if he had just been spewing a bunch of nonsense. Directionless he was starting to think he should have prepared more for the aftermath of all of this. It had taken him by surprise and he was completely discombobulated in the worst possible way. It was enough to make him think that leaving had been a bad idea. But then he looked at his still phone and the nervous feeling that he was going to get into trouble because of a quota he was unable to meet was gone and he felt a moment of joy. It was like that rush of energy when the feeling to jump overcame a person as they stood at the cusp of a precipice. Only unlike most people Lani flung himself off the edge loving the freedom flowing over his wings. Only to realize that without some purpose his wings would remain stalled and he would plummet.

It was strange, this feeling. Why was it that Odion’s rejection had affected him so much? Maybe it really was like the straw on the camel’s back, but it felt like something more. It was almost as if knowing that Odion would always look at him with those cold blue eyes from now on was too much to bear. Those were his nightmares, that everyone knew what he did. Really Odion had every right to meet everyone that Lani knew and tell them not to trust him. Tell them about the betrayal and all of the lies. It only made sense that others should be warned.

“I had no reason to think you were,” he said recalling their fight. Even if Odion had been here physically Lani had no reason to think that he might on some miracle of a chance speak to him ever again. Lani couldn’t help but feel snubbed. He was more important than the dirt at Odion’s feet. Perhaps that was pride that wouldn’t die, but it would kill him even more than the fighting to be ignored. He huffed a little it coming out as more of a snarl. Why did Odion care? What should he care if everyone or no one knew what a liar he was? What should he care if Lani had any secrets after this? Really if this were a normal circumstances that was exactly what would happen. But then, if these were normal circumstances they never would have gotten so close and their parting as friends would have been nothing more than a speed bump as they raced through life.

“Absolutely,” Lani replied without hesitation. He was skeptical about the lack of sarcasm, though. He would have thought Odion would think he was lying again. Hell, he would have thought he was lying again as well. Lani removed his hands from his pocket and opened them in a gesture that showed he had nothing to hide. But now he hesitated. He was thinking about explaining himself. But that would mean telling Odion another thing he had kept from him. Albeit, not on purpose, it had just never come up in conversation. Partially because Odion shut down when family came into the conversation, but Lani wasn’t holding that against Odion either. If they had had more time to learn more about each other they might have been able to talk about such things. They had been best friend, of that Lani was sure, but he was not naïve enough to think that he knew everything about Odion.

He flicked his fingers nervously. “My little sister got sick when we were little,” he started his eyes going unfocused as he detached himself and became focused on the internal memory, “My father didn’t have health insurance and we couldn’t afford to pay for the new treatment. So I started stealing and my boss found me. He paid for my sister’s medical bills, in return I worked for him. I thought if I paid my debt it’d be over, but…” He trailed off shaking his head. Odion knew how that ended. Perhaps one day he would tell the full story, but not now, not when it was so sensitive. But now Odion got the big picture, without the money his sister would be dead, it was a price he would pay a million times over again. “I’m so sorry, Odion,” he said softly his eyes dropping away from Odion, “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.” Perhaps Odion had been right. A clean slate, perhaps things would be better after all if they were just acquaintances. Lani swallowed, he didn’t want that. But this wasn’t all about him, he needed to respect Odion’s wishes as much as he might hate them.

[Odion Martins]

Lani just needed a new sense of purpose, and whether Odion liked it or not, he and Lani were once again in the same boat. The past could no longer be a crutch for Odion, just like how Lani’s boss couldn’t be a crutch for him. But just like before, Odion couldn’t help Lani unless Lani let him, and Odi wasn’t sure he wanted to help anymore. Look where that had landed him not more than a week ago. Odion couldn’t be Lani’s arrow, and Lani couldn’t be his. Odi needed to learn how to stand on his own two feet, and be swayed only by those he deemed friends.

A look of disappointment crossed Odi’s face. “How easily you throw away the cards.” And so it would seem they were back to riddles and games. Indeed nothing about their relationship was cut and dry. Odi nodded once in appreciation to Lani’s absolution. Maybe their friendship hadn’t meant much in the end... So then, why was it that when he had been interested in Lani before, Lani clammed up? Now he was blurting out his life story when Odion hadn’t even asked for it. In what world did any of this make sense? But Lani stood there, explaining himself, and anyone could’ve walked past. Lani didn’t care who heard. Maybe there was something salvageable here.

Odion had been clenching his jaw quite tightly during the story. Everything about it sounded familiar. Life had handed Lani two evils and the young boy had chosen something that would save his sister, because there wasn’t another fast option. “Oh Lani...” Odion said, his heart breaking over what Lani was telling him. Is that what he had been afraid of? Telling someone about that? Odion had known his whole life that trusting someone like Lani’s boss was a bad idea, but then again, he didn’t have anything on the line. And for Lani to tell Odion before? Well, that might’ve caused more trouble. Lani’s boss may have tried to enlist him, but Odion knew that that wasn’t what Lani was afraid of. He was afraid of losing him as a friend. Odion’s gut wrenched as he tried to swallow this pill, reaching for the doorframe for balance. If he was half the friend he thought he was, Lani should’ve known that Odi would’ve understood as soon as the circumstances were out in the open.

Glancing at the floor, Odi’s eyes quickly whipped back up to Lani’s. “I broke up with Rhett for good.” There, just blurt it out. “And I might have a twin brother.” This wasn’t the clean slate Odion had envisioned for the two of them, but he knew that when Lani focused on troubles that weren’t his own, he had a little more drive. Odion smiled weakly and tried righting himself, trying not to shake as he stood on his own. His stubborn resolve gave way to the calm feeling he usually had when he was around Lani and they were being honest. Lani really was irreplaceable. He wasn’t exactly saying he had forgiven Lani, but he had just given the blonde two very big pieces of information and in the land of thieves, words held equal value.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani’s mind was in turmoil. It was like a tempest of thoughts and he could barely focus on one before another raged in. Things would never be as they were before but a small amount of hope grew in Lani. Like a seed of a truffula tree he held onto it like it was gold and refused to let it go. He wanted to save it and plant it somewhere where the sun would be kind and the rains gentle. This was all he had. This seed of hope and it wormed its way into the broken remains of his heart. Perhaps they both needed to learn how to stand on their own. That didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends. But it did mean honesty. Lani wasn’t used to honesty and the idea terrified him. But Odion wasn’t yelling, he wasn’t telling him to go away. Lani swallowed hard and his eyes lowered to the ground, he owed Odion the truth. He owed Odion many truths. It was probably better to go one at a time.

His shoulders rose as he winced. He hadn’t given up. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t go find Odion. Even if he could make it to France what were the chances Lani could find him in a foreign country where he didn’t speak a lick of French. Lani risked a glance at Odion. “Do you think I’d be here if that were the case?” He asked his voice combative. For some reason he almost wished Odion would pick a fight with him, then he would have an outlet for all of this frustration and pain. He shook his head at himself, that wouldn’t do any good. Even if they did fight Lani shouldn’t yell, not if he wanted to salvage this. This didn’t make sense. Not even to Lani. All he knew was that his lies had gotten him into this so honesty might be able to fix it.

Lani looked away he didn’t want to see Odion’s face. He was too afraid that he would sneer and claim Lani was lying again. It was the soft way Odion said his name that made Lani look up. The risk was great but he was terrified of what he might see. Lani didn’t even realize how much that simply admission had spelled so much for Odion. He flinched forward as if to help Odion as he swayed and then thought better of it. Well, it hadn’t his fears come true anyways? He had still lost Odion as a friend. It all came down to trust. And in the end Lani hadn’t trusted Odion enough to tell him. He realized that now, the week had been long but enlightening. Would Odion believe him now if he said he trusted him? If it were him he wouldn’t believe himself. It was simply not true. Lani did trust Odion but only to a point, but he was willing to go father and he was trying to show that in his awkward, blurting kind of way…

Watching Odion Lani bit his lip wondering if he would say anything else. Like accuse him of lying or tell him to get lost because he didn’t care. “What?” He asked shocked his eyes going wide. He felt a mixture of things. Sadness because he knew what Rhett meant to Odion, or had meant, and pride that his friend was strong enough to break things off, and worry that Odion might be ready to go into a depression again. But it was the second admission that really dropped him into ice water. His jaw dropped and he was struck by the word of a bartender. ‘He must have a brother’. Lani couldn’t manage a smile but his happiness was genuine. “Odion, really? That’s great! How did this… how did you find out? I’m so happy for you.” Lani now attempted a smile. It was a strange feeling in his jaw and it probably looked more like less of a frown than anything else. But, like a falcon on a mouse he snapped up Odion’s news and clung to it. Anything to distract him from his own problems.

[Odion Martins]

Odion would happily provide an outlet. “You fucked up Lani, and I picked up the pieces after everything went wrong because you wouldn’t let me in.”

Whatever Lani was trying to do now might make a difference, and it might not. Really it all depended on what he said, though what he was doing now was a step in the right direction, so long as the right direction for Lani meant stepping back into Odi’s life. It wouldn’t be easy, but it just might be worth it. As it was, Odion knew he wasn’t falling for Lani, not anymore. He had learned the hard way that once he was lied too often enough, his little crushes stopped. No one could love a bundle of lies, and though Odi really did like Lani’s company, he just couldn’t see them being anything more than friends. It was probably for the best anyways. Odion shoved what he had seen in the future to the side, after all, there were many different paths between here and there.

It was strange, just talking. There was no malice in the action, no poison in the words. Odion could tell Lani was being truthful, and for that he felt comfortable being truthful in return. Lani owed him no explanation and yet he was still given one. Odi wanted to trust Lani again, it just didn’t seem possible. And for two people so used to mind games, and using different ways to manipulate others, the truth often did come out in a blurting manner.

Smiling a bit, Odion glanced down at the floor and then back up at Lani, just letting the truth seep in. He hadn’t stuttered. Yes it had been difficult, but that didn’t make it any less worth it. After being stepped on for so long, and realizing that continuing to be with Rhett just made him another possession for the blonde, Odi had had enough. “He ended up being a little too selfish for me,” he said with a shrug, like it wasn’t a big deal, but Lani would know better. Not everyone went on a dozen or so drinking binges because of one person. And yet, all it really took for Odi to see the light was a good friend, and some time with someone he once loved.

“He found me, he transferred to Hammel for this year from Ireland,” Odion explained. How awkward that had been. Odi smirked to himself and scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t believe him at first though, ended up pinning him against the wall and calling him a liar.” This probably wouldn’t phase Lani and Odi sort of hoped he would laugh at the image. And the way Odi said it, it was like he and Lani had been friends for a long time. Odion really could be charming, but this time, he wasn't trying.

The more Odion thought about it, the more time he wanted to spend with this supposed brother. Sure, their parents had ended up keeping him and all that, but it wasn’t Declyn’s fault. It’d be nice to have someone to call a brother, even though it would be rocky and unknown to start. There seemed to be a first for everything, and Odion was willing to try and befriend someone who didn’t have to meet him, but chose to. It made Odi’s breath catch every time.

“I’m sorry he attacked you before we left, I had no idea...” Odion sighed, still wondering why he was apologizing for Rhett. He so desperately wanted this year to be different, but it seemed that his life would always have some interesting twists.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani ducked his head. “I know, and I’m so sorry,” he repeated. He really couldn’t say those words enough. He looked up Odion, all that he had been trying to hide exposed the scared and vulnerable Lani showing behind the mask of glass. This was what he had been trying to avoid. Not for anyone else’s sake but his own. But how even that was coming back to bite him. Selfishness had ruined him. He clenched his jaw and forced himself to look back up at Odion. It wasn’t hatred in his eyes, but it wasn’t quite caring either. Indifference was probably the best Lani could distinguish.

At this moment friends would be all Lani was hoping for, praying for. “I failed you,” he acknowledged, “I should have let you in… I’m not asking you to forgive me. But maybe that clean slate?” He suggested hopefully. His heart was getting better at coping and this week had been a long one. Things were slowly starting to make sense again. The freedom wasn’t as sweet as he imagined it, not if it meant he had to give up on everyone he had met. “Odion, I need you to know that that was it. I haven’t lied about anything else.” True, kind of. There was a major difference between outright lying and refusing to see what was in front of his eyes. It was a dual mistake and Lani wasn’t sure why he felt he had the right to stand here and seek Odion’s help again. He did need help. He closed his eyes wishing that things could go back to normal. He just needed a friend right now.

Lani wasn’t sure how he could get Odion to trust him again. That was the basis of everything. If Odion never trusted him again they would never be anything more than friends. Not best friends, not anything. It was strange that now the roles were reversed. Odion had trusted Lani when Lani hadn’t been confident enough to trust Odion with everything and now Lani was trusting Odion with everything and Odion no longer trusted Lani. But this, this talking, it was a start. Lani found it in himself to be able to look Odion in the eye again. Now that those blue eyes weren’t so harsh. At least no longer unbearably so. Lani wasn’t even sure what Odion was seeing when he was looking at him. He suddenly felt shame for coming at him like he did, so desperate and so lost. Perhaps Odion only pitied Lani. That made his heart ache painfully. That would make this all fake. That would mean that Lani hadn’t done anything to earn a way back toward friendship.

Rhett was gone. Well, as gone as he could be. That made Lani happy; it was a strange sense of happiness. Happiness for Odion’s strength, but also worry that he was more wounded than he let on, at least where Rhett was concerned. This was strange. He and Odion had never exchanged information like this. Would Odion let Lani be there for him? Lani didn’t think so. Lani offered a half smile. “And are you ok?” He asked his eyes betraying his concern. His eyes weren’t veiling his emotions well, not even as well as they had before. Lani scrambled through his masks trying to find the right one and everyone he picked up had large cracks and some were missing whole pieces. It was a harsh reminder of the flaws that Odion had picked at and cracked open. He simply didn’t have and shields left. Rhett might be selfish but now Lani was starting to realize how many of the qualities that Rhett had that he loathed, he loathed because he had them too. Selfishness being a big one. He could rave about how he stole for his sister, but in reality he stole now because he liked it.

But Lani was much more interested in this twin than in Rhett. Lani had washed his hands of him after their fight. Rhett wouldn’t bother him anymore, or Adrianna. Lani wasn’t worth it anymore. He had fallen farther than Rhett could have ever kicked him. But he was so grateful that Rhett had also been kicked out of Odion’s life. It was a twisted sense of retribution. That was amazing, Lani was blown away. He could hardly believe it. The happiness he felt for Odion was overwhelming to the dark emotions he had been living in for the past few days. He didn’t know what to make of the emotion. Lani’s brow raised and he let out a little ‘heh’ at the image but his voice just wasn’t up to laughter. Lani remembered the night they were drunk, he had laughed so much. The smile remained though. “Odion, I’m so happy for you. What’s his name?” Lani felt a little stunned. Odion had a brother!

“Does he look like you?” Lani’s grip on new problems brought out a more enthusiastic thirst of answers. And so Lani was setting up to ask a million questions. What if Odion’s brother had a family? Was Odion jealous? Lani felt his power stirring in the back of his mind, he had been so dormant in the past few days he had almost forgotten about it. Well, alternatively dormant and raging. But mostly the former. Now as it stirred he was afraid of it. What if it decided to lash out now? But it wasn’t rage he was feeling, but something even more strangely. He felt it reach out to Odion but he gently knocked it away so that it felt the walls and pressed against them gently. It didn’t protest unlike usual when being derailed would have exploded. It was good to have it back; honestly, he fell into the comforting folds of his mind made physical. The force that had been attacking and keeping him in the dark was now the source or comport and protection.

Having been distracted it startled Lani when Odion spoke again. Lani shook his head and a humorless laugh broke from his throat. What the hell was Odion apologizing for? Lani sounded mad and he cut off his thoughts and shook his head to keep himself from babbling nonsense. “Don’t apologize, I deserved it.” He said touching his nose gingerly, it was still sore but healing nicely, “Perhaps not from Rhett, but… I deserved it.” He commented not meaning to have said the last part aloud.

[Odion Martins]

Odion knew Lani was sorry, but that didn’t change what happened. Odi nodded once. “Isn’t that what I promised before I left?” He asked. It was really in the exact phrasing of a promise, but it would be close enough. Taking a deep breath, Odion so wanted to believe Lani, but he just couldn’t. If Lani had been hiding a secret like the one he had been, perhaps he was hiding more. And maybe he wasn’t hiding from Odion, maybe he was hiding from himself, for nothing had been said about what Odion had admitted to Lani before leaving. At last only one word was spoken, “Right.”

Odion could talk about things again, even things related to him. But he didn’t want to talk about himself, or allude to anything he was thinking of. So the fact he was just blurting out personal truths was bitter sweet. On the one hand, he didn’t want to lose Lani and wanted to be honest, and on the other hand, he didn’t want to fall for him again, so rather than play mind games, being outright honest about some things would mean he could avoid being honest about other things. Lani wasn’t the only one hiding from himself. His eyes met the blondes and he just stared. Odion saw himself when he looked at Lani, someone who needed a friend and didn’t know how to do it perfectly. Oh there was more than that, but that was the easiest, scariest way to put it.

Scoffing, Odi couldn’t help but laugh. “Better than last time, don’t you think?” It had been rough, it had been hard, but Odion didn’t regret leaving things completely behind with Rhett. Maybe ‘breaking up’ hadn’t been the right phrase to use, since they hadn’t really gotten back together. Yeah they had sex a few times, but that was beside the point. Last time Rhett left, Odion had been sick, physically and emotionally. Now, Odion left Rhett, and it felt good. Odion’s mind wasn’t really on what Lani would make of this, probably as a defense mechanism. Odion didn’t want to know the inner workings of Lani’s mind for fear of finding something sharp.

A bit of a smile still lingered on Odi’s face, and then he outright laughed. “One question at a time, god, you’re more excited than I am.” In other words, I knew I could take your mind off of things. “His name is Declyn O’Callahan, and I guess that makes me Odion O’Callahan but that sounds too ridiculous and I’m not changing my name,” Odion never spoke this much. “He looks a lot like me, it’s quite strange. Brown eyes and hair though, so fraternal twins.” Odion struggled with the last word. He was obviously deeply affected by this new development, but at least it was something he could learn to be happy with. “He seems to be into photography...” Odion grimaced. “But he’s agreed to go out for drinks so at least we’ll have that in common.” Odion was really, really trying here.

A look of concentration passed over Lani’s face and Odion knew what was going on without having to feel a thing. Lani’s power was acting up, but Lani seemed to have it under control.

He hadn’t meant to startle Lani, but the laugh startled him. Lani really was going mad. “You were so badly bruised to begin with, I hadn’t noticed until...” Well, he hadn’t noticed at all. He had been too upset and too emotional to pick up on the detail of Lani’s nose being hit, and how it hadn’t happened during the kidnapping. Now he felt a little guilty. Odion gulped – so much had happened during that day, and he would never forget it, or what it felt like. He glanced at Lani, still in the hallway. No, he didn’t deserve that, least of all from Rhett. He had been punished every day since joining his boss’s team.

“I should, uh, check up on the kittens. I haven’t seen them in a while,” Odion said, smiling weakly, looking desperately for something to change where his thoughts had been.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani shrugged in response, a lot of things had been said before Odion left. Lani had successfully blocked out the one where Odion had admitted his feeling and the ones that kept coming to the forefront were the ones said as Odion stormed away in anger. At least those words had not completely made it impossible for them to speak to each other. Aiming to hurt, not the best thing to do when angry especially not when one had arsenals like Odion and Lani did. Lani wasn’t sure if his little secrets would count as keeping things from Odion. There were many thing that he just didn’t tell people, not on the illegal front, simply because they were embarrassing or unimportant in his opinion. He hadn’t changed that much, he wasn’t going to blurt out his every secret, and he didn’t think Odion would either. Lani gave a little nod, that didn’t sound like a person very convinced.

Meeting Odion’s eyes was harder than Lani remembered it being, but he held onto those blue eyes as long as he could. Lani was willing to try to be better. Odion’s laugh surprised Lani. He nodded. “Much better I think,” he said taking a real look at Odion. He looked well, it seemed he was eating and drinking and sleeping. It seemed like the week away had done Odion good. Lani was glad, he was happy his friend was able to get away from that relationship. And the fact that it meant that at least Rhett lost something gave Lani a sick sense of satisfaction. He had never had such strong feelings of dislike for a single person, at least his boss had been a father figure of some sort but all he had heard about him and then his first meeting with Rhett solidified his dislike for him. Lani smiled softly. “You seem to be doing very well,” he said his smile did not falter.

Lani’s grin grew at the sound of Odion’s laugh. “How can you not be this excited?” Lani demanded, “Odion this is amazing!” He didn’t say anymore and listened interested a smile dancing across his face. Declyn, strange name. Well then Lani really couldn’t speak on strange names. Lani’s eyes narrowed as he tried to picture Odion with brown hair and eyes. It was rather difficult to picture. If this was a lot to chew for Lani, he could only imagine what it must be like for Odion. Not only a sibling out there hidden in the vastness of the world, but a twin! Lani couldn’t help but smile, “He hasn’t gotten you in front of a camera yet?” That was indeed ironic, Odion hated pictures. Lani smiled remembering the picture of Odion and his burger. Lani had very nearly had to protect that thing with his life. Lani nodded, it was good that Odion was connecting with his brother. Lani’s sister was the most important thing in the world to him so knowing that Odion had the potential for such a relationship made him excited for the redhead.

Lani’s smile now faded and his lips dropped quickly back into the familiar frown. He waved his hand dismissively really wishing that Odion would drop it. He didn’t want to talk about what happened that day, he didn’t want to talk about the bruises, he knew the ones that mattered, those from Shapiro’s stick that helped knock him in the right direction and then the one on his nose was just a reminder that it wasn’t just him that got hurt that night. “Don’t worry about it,” he cut off Odion before he could go in very deep into that, “I’m fine, it’s not a big deal.” Besides what was one for bruise really? Odion shouldn’t feel the need to apologize, not only did he not do anything that he hadn’t been allotted by Lani’s actions but he didn’t physically attack Lani either. Really if that had been the case this conversation probably wouldn’t be happening.

The conversation lulled into silence for a moment and Lani let his eyes drop to his feet wondering what to do now. Lani nodded and his heart gave a little squeeze, the kittens. He missed them. He hadn’t seen them all week which really wasn’t too unusual but what had changed was how much time Lani had to be able to see the kittens. “Yeah… Can I…” Lani stopped himself realizing that that was probably actually a dismissal from Odion, “Never mind. Tell them I said ‘hello’.” Lani attempted to smile again but it seemed like the muscles would only allow a twitch in the upward direction. There was another promise he had broken. Leaving Odion with the kittens.

[Odion Martins]

Odion only smiled in response. He was better than alive and well. He also had no idea what Rhett had been truly planning for the trip. Odi really believed things were said and done between them, and while he knew he might still see Rhett again, their romantic happenings were done. There was no going back to that, especially now that Odi no longer wanted to. Odion had met Rhett’s family, a shock in and of itself. Life just loved continuing to show its ironic side, where two orphans once lovers, both had families. Odion knew that had things been a little different, he wouldn’t have been so confused about Rhett. Rhett was just someone Odion didn’t want to give up on, and in the end, that’s what it was. Odion chose who he wanted to be around with, and who was worth his time. “Looks can be deceiving,” he added, just for the sake of throwing in a curveball.

The way Declyn had been taken back by their parents and Odion hadn’t, was an even harder pill to swallow, but Odi wasn’t going to discuss that bit. “I warned him,” he said with a shrug. Should Declyn ever decide to take his picture, he would not be as forgiving as he had been to Lani. Lani, the only exception. Why was Odion so hell bent on keeping him around anyways? He had decided quite a long time ago that Lani was someone he liked being with. Around with – the wording always mattered.

Odion nodded in agreement. There was no need to get sentimental here. He watched Lani carefully, knowing what he was thinking. “I invited you in before. You’re still welcome.” He took a step aside. “Besides, they probably miss you too.” Odi smiled a bit, glad that the kittens were an unquestionable excuse. “They’ve grown quite a bit.” It wasn’t a dismissal, it was an attempt to not continue talking about something awkward.