Down And Out;;; Open!
May 26, 2012 20:38:45 GMT -5
Post by Fletcher Walsh on May 26, 2012 20:38:45 GMT -5
Always up or down, never down and out.
Dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak.
Always up or down, never down and out.
Dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
~The Academy Is
Dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak.
Always up or down, never down and out.
Dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
~The Academy Is
"Okay Fletcher, just focus now, I'm going to remove the block, and I want you to concentrate just how you have been, you're doing fine."
Fletcher took a deep breath and nodded. In the past four days, he'd begun to learn how to meditate and control his mind, how to find that quiet safe space inside him he'd never known to seek before. It lay perilously close to the space he'd shoved all of his feelings into and locked up tight, but yet seemed so far away from all of that. It was coolness and stillness, a mountain lake, a reaching plain, the broad back of his favorite horse and the motion of its feet beneath his saddle.
All of this and more, but still his heart clenched at the suggestion of dropping the block. He breathed deep and centered on that space again, but it was hard, knowing what was coming...
The wave of emotion that hit him was mild, in comparison to what he'd felt the first time. He received serenity and compassion from the teacher, and an influx of his own anxiety, but it was the remembering that undid him. The echo of that deep, soul-felt need to do anything to end the pain, even die. He lost his hold on that safe place instantly, gagging into his hand as he scrambled up from the ground on shaking legs and bolted from the training room. It was too soon. It was too much and it was too soon and he couldn't handle it so he ran.
He ran all the way outside, feeling the power block snap back into place at some point in his headlong run, but he still had to bend over and vomit into the nearest flowerbed when he finally did make it outside.
Straightening up and wiping his mouth on the back of his shaking hand, Fletcher made his way to the nearest bench and sat down. At least it was quiet out here. For now. He scowled at the thought and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
Lighting one, he put it to his mouth and pulled in the fragrant smoke. Holding it there, he didn't draw it into his lungs, but simply let it blow back out after a moment's pause. Would he ever be able to handle his power without panicking?