Would it matter {Sean}[trigger warning: cutting]

[Mia Bell]

Mia walked down the hall of the offices that belonged to the staff. It was once again time for her session with Dr. Neville. It was going good; so far, she wasn’t sure how today was going to go. It was weird how much could happen in a couple weeks, or one for that matter. She rubbed her arm as she stood in front of Dr. Neville’s door. She was always hesitant to go in, she wasn’t sure why. Mia stared at the door, she didn’t feel like talking about what had happened the past couple weeks. She knew the older man wouldn’t like the news she had to share. She wasn’t looking forward to this session, but she also knew she couldn’t hide anything from this man, because of his power. It always put her on edge.

Mia knocked on the door and waited. She was not looking forward to this, at all. She felt like she would be letting a lot of people down, her father and brothers being ones than again she was sure she had disappointed them when she tried to commit suicide. The past couple weeks had been great but also the worst, the retreat dance being great getting to dance the night away with Cameron but their first date hadn’t gone so well, it ended fine but she didn’t like the argument they had had, first dates were suppose to be fun and exciting this one had just been emotionally draining. But that wasn’t her real concern, her concern was about what had happened with her notebook. It had been stolen from her at the lake, since then she had been on edge afraid of who knew all her secrets and thoughts. Then a week ago, she had met the guy who had stolen it, which made her feel worse and she didn’t know how to handle it.

{ooc: This thread is backdated a couple weeks after the school’s retreat}

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean was glad to have gotten into a routine with Mia. Over the past couple of months, they had fallen into a pattern of weekly sessions, and in that time, he had been able to help her a bit, had been able to get her to open up to him. It was good for her, and his goal was to do everything he could to help her, bit by bit. They would get through the semester and then the year, and she would make progress.

The retreat had ended, and everyone had gotten through it readily enough. Sean had survived the separation from Josh, and he and his partner had been reunited at the end of the trip. Before that, there had been a dance that had, in the scheme of things, been uneventful, in that there had been no major incidents. However, the psychiatrist knew that Mia’s journal had been stolen during the retreat, and that the faculty had tried to recover it with no avail.

That had been a difficult session, during which he had tried to reassure her that it would be fine. Her secrets would be contained, one way or another, and she could use him to vent until it was recovered.

With the knock at the door, Sean knew that Mia had arrived for their weekly session. As such, he called, “Please come in, Mia,” and prepared his materials for their meeting.

[Mia Bell]

Mia heard Dr. Neville call her in; she took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping through the threshold. She gave him a small sheepish smile before closing the door. “Morning.” She walked across the room and sat down on one of the chairs in front of Dr. Neville’s desk. She pushed the right side of her hair behind her ear. She never liked starting the sessions she never knew what to say.

She knew this was going to be a harder session, even harder than the time where she had told Sean about her notebook being stolen. Mia didn’t even know how to tell him about her meeting the man who had stolen it. Or even how her self-harm had gotten worse. She was grateful for Sean being there for her and letting her vent. She was still so scared of people finding out about it all, she didn’t want the pity or sympathy and she defiantly didn’t want things to turn out like they had back at her old school. She wasn’t even sure if the redhead would tell anyone or not but by the way he acted she was pretty sure he would if he was given the chance.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean waited for Mia to enter his office. When she did, he returned her greeting with a smile and a nod, “Good morning, Mia.” Because they had a rhythm by this stage, and she knew how he operated, he didn’t have to ask her to shut the door for privacy. Likewise, he didn’t have to get up to shut it himself. That saved time and allowed them to begin quickly.

Being able to begin quickly, however, didn’t mean that he would callously question her emotions. Nor did it mean that he would remind her of what they discussed last week, without allowing for a transition, etiquette, or giving her the ability to dictate direction. He wanted her to be comfortable, and he knew that she had had a bit of a rough time since the end of the retreat.

As such, he waited until Mia was seated before asking his first question. And the first question was one that gave her the power in the conversation. She could latch onto it and use it to distract him for a bit with small talk. Or she could use it as a means to discuss whatever was on her mind.

“How are you?”

A simple question, but the answer could almost always reveal quite a bit.

[Mia Bell]

Mia started picked at her nail polish. She wasn’t sure how to answer that question. She wasn’t doing too well she knew that much. She just hated that when something good seemed to be happening to her something else gets in the way and ruins her happiness, something bad always happens. It was starting to get tiring and emotionally draining for her and didn’t help at all. How was she supposed to look on the bright side of life when life didn’t seem to want her too?


Mia smiled a little “I’m okay…” She didn’t like to put emphasis on her not doing well, for the past year she had just gotten used to being the stronger one and not breaking down. People always looked to her to be the stronger tougher one, to be able to push through it and on the outside, she made it seem that way. But really it wasn’t like it seemed. “How are you?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean was patient, waiting for Mia to answer the question without interruption. He didn’t want to force her out of her comfort zone, not when they were just beginning the session. He wanted her to explain her day and her feelings on her own terms.

The fact that it was taking her so long to articulate them told him more than the answer itself would. She was obviously still distressed about the loss of her journal, which was to be expected. Losing one’s privacy and sense of security were deeply troubling, even at his age. As a teenager, it was all the more distressing. Teenagers felt so many social pressures; they were already exposed to far too much scrutiny. A loss of one’s journal containing all of one’s most private thoughts was to have one’s entire self laid bare for all to see.

When the answer finally came, he listened, waiting still for her to elaborate. When no clarification came after another moment, he decided he would have to prompt her. “Would you like to talk about your week?”

She could provide as many details as she wanted, and they could move from there.

A smile touched his lips, as he answered her question. “I’m fine. It’s rather nice to be home after last week. The bed in my house is far more comfortable than the bunk beds were.”

[Mia Bell]

Mia sighed a little as he asked her if she wanted to talk about her week. How was she supposed to answer that? She couldn’t lie to him since he could read minds. She bit her bottom lip, she had trouble telling people how she was really doing and asking for help. “I met the person who stole my notebook?” She scratched the back of her head, nervous of having to talk about it. She didn’t mind talking about the event but she did mind talking about what she had done afterwards. “that had been… Interesting.. For lack of a better word..”

Mia chuckled a bit “Yeah, the bunk beds were pretty uncomfortable…” But the beds hadn’t been a huge thing for Mia, it was being away from her Snake that got to her, she had missed him greatly. It wasn’t like she could call him and talk to him, well she could have but that would mean she was a crazy pet person. She was glad that her uncle took care of him for her; she didn’t trust anyone else to care for the snake.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean waited patiently for Mia to either answer his question or to redirect the conversation to a topic that she found more pressing. When her answer came, it became evident that her week had been trying, as that was a difficult proposition on a good day, to be confronted by someone who had willfully violated one’s privacy. More so when that person had been anonymous until the meeting.

There were many questions to ask, both as a means of assessment for Mia, as well as to see what course of action she wished to pursue, if any. “Are you all right?”

That was always his priority.

After asking that, the flurry of other questions began. “Did he or she return your notebook to you?” If not, they at least had an identity of this person, which would make retrieval easier than when the person had been an unknown entity.

Then, after that, “Would you like to tell me who it was?” If he had an identity, one asked for rather than probed for, then he could arrange a meeting in his office to discipline that students. Since stealing personal property was wholly unacceptable.

“They were,” he agreed with a nod. “I’m always very happy to sleep in my own bed when the retreat is over.”

[Mia Bell]

Tears started to stream down her cheeks as she remembered that day, she shook her head “No…” She couldn’t lie anymore. She wasn’t okay, it hated feeling this vulnerable and hated the fact that someone like Odion knew all her secrets. It killed her to think of what he would do with them. She moved to wipe her cheeks.

Mia shook her head again “No, he didn’t…” She hadn’t even thought about him still having it, which made her feel even more sick about it. She couldn’t believe she had been stupid enough not to ask for it back. Though maybe that would have made the situation worse…

Mia gulped “I don’t know his name.. Something starting with an M? I think…” She shook her head “I.. Don’t remember..” She tried to think of what he looked like “He had red hair.. and blue eyes?” She wasn’t sure how much that helped but it was a start, right?

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean sympathized with her; it wasn’t easy to relive painful experiences, and losing one’s sense of privacy was difficult. More difficult was confronting the person who had taken one’s privacy from her. The psychiatrist wanted Hammel to be a safe environment for all students, which was why it was imperative for him to know who had put her in this position.

Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to have the person’s name at the tip of her tongue. She had a gender, which was a start. Fortunately, Sean was a telepath. As such, it was unnecessary to rely solely on the vague physical description. Red hair was an uncommon trait, but it still provided for more than one possible person. The letter “M” was also only slightly helpful.

The most helpful clue was the image that popped into her mind, easily recognizable by the psychiatrist.

Odion Martins.

Sean didn’t sigh, although he wasn’t surprised. The behavior wasn’t beyond what he expected from the boy; it certainly wasn’t atypical.

“Odion,” the psychiatrist said, nodding slightly to convey that he did know who this was. “I’ll be sure to meet with him and teach him that such behavior is wholly unacceptable.”

That he could promise her.

[Mia Bell]

Mia didn’t know how to feel about it, she felt vulnerable, and every day she had anxieties about this situation. Would he tell anyone about it? Had he told anyone about it? It wasn’t like she had lame secrets and a somewhat normal life. She really didn’t know how she could handle anyone finding out about any of it. She couldn’t even tell her Uncle about her bad habit; which had gotten worse.

She felt bad not being able to give him a name, he had only given him his name once and she hadn’t been paying attention when he had. She looked at her hands, at the rested on her lap. She looked back up at him and tilted to her head to the side in confusion. “Oh, that’s his name? I thought it was something with an M.. But how did you know?” She wanted to slap herself; she had forgotten the older man was able to read minds. Which didn’t make her feel better about what was going to come up next; she just wasn’t keen on sharing the information even though she knew it would be better if she did. She nodded at this next statement “Alright. Uh thank you..?” It made her feel better and hopefully her anxieties over the matter would go away.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“His last name is ‘Martins,” Sean informed her. That explained where the impression of an “M”-name originated, particularly since she had little reason to interact with Odion outside of this unfortunate situation. In that regard, the psychiatrist regretted that she had to interact with the boy at all. “And you were thinking rather clearly.”

He didn’t probe, but the image had been clear as day, and Sean was familiar enough with the student body to be able to discern between the students enough to identify the perpetrator. Particularly since Hammel was a small school and the number of students who might hurt another student deliberately was smaller still.

“You’re welcome,” the psychiatrist replied, and he meant that. She was entitled to go through school safely, free of bullying, free of torment, free of being triggered by other students, free of harassment. That the faculty, that he, had failed to provide that completely meant that he had to remedy this for her to mitigate the harm. “I’ll be sure to handle that quickly,” he promised.

Now that they had a course of action regarding the cause of her pain, they could now focus on her coping. “How are you hanging in? What happened when you met with him?”

[Mia Bell]

Mia nodded, now remembering his name “He said his name was Martin.” She shook her head slightly; if he was going to give out a fake name, he should do better than that. She nodded “right.” At least Sean knew about it and knew who it was so she felt relieved about the whole situation.

Mia nodded; she was mostly scared that the past would repeat itself. She rather not go through the next three or so years at Hammel like her past year back in Barrow. She was thankful that Sean would go out of his way to make sure nothing happened to her. It was strange, she wasn’t used to it but she was grateful none of the less.

Now came the time she wasn’t looking forward to. “I.. I could be better..” Very vague, she couldn’t help it. “Er, well we were in the library… I had met him before the day he stole my notebook but I didn’t know it was him that stole it… So when I saw him in the library I thought I would be friendly and say hi.. Didn’t go to well…”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean couldn’t say that he was surprised to hear that Odion had given Mia a fake name during a discussion. There was no reason to do that in the first place, beyond the boy’s penchant for chaos and manipulation, both of which were reasons for the psychiatrist to invoke a meeting, beyond the specific incident involving Mia’s notebook.

He began to mentally compile a list of matters to address with Odion when he scheduled this meeting. It would be a long one.

“Not every conniving person is good at it,” Sean remarked. He agreed with Mia’s thoughts: that a person using an alias should come up with a better one than using the singular of one’s surname. That wasn’t advice that the psychiatrist would give Odion, since the boy didn’t require encouragement. “But I’ll see to it that he knows he can’t do this with impunity.”

The psychiatrist nodded, actively listening as she described how she had come across this knowledge in the first place. His expression was sympathetic. “No, I imagine it didn’t.” His words weren’t intended to be dismissive; rather, they were intended as an expression of comprehension.

“Do you want to give me some specifics?” He wouldn’t prod at her more than that, but he did want to open up a dialogue about how she had felt specifically and how she had coped. That was where relief was to be found.

[Mia Bell]

Mia nodded, though from what she got from their first meaning the boy didn’t seem to think very highly of authority figures, she wasn’t sure if Sean talking to him would create a bigger problem for her or not. But at the same time she was still grateful for the man and his willingness to give her peace again.

Mia sighed, “He had asked me if I was truly sad over the deaths of my Da and brothers and if that was the reason I tried to commit suicide or if it was because of losing my boyfriend?” Though if he had read her journal right, she had said her boyfriend dumped her after her suicide attempt. “He also said something about me being pathetic..” Tears found their way onto her cheeks.


She looked down at her wrists which were resting on her lap. She bit her bottom lip “I kind of didn’t take it very well…” She really wasn’t sure how to say her cutting got worse, a lot worse. Maybe he was reading her thoughts and she didn’t have to say it… Wishful thinking.