Just Hold Me (Cam)

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak tossed and turned in her bed, trying to get to sleep. She had gone to bed over an hour ago, and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get herself to shut her mind off and pass out. She was too busy thinking about what the future held - the morning sickness, the weight gain, the birth itself... The teasing, the jeering, the changes that this would make in her life. Tak knew it was all her own fault, but that didn't stop her from completely panicking in the middle of the night like this, knowing there wasn't anything that she could do to stop what was coming. What would even happen to the child once it was born? She couldn't take care of it. She could hardly take care of herself.

Finally, she gave up trying to fall asleep. Tak sat up, wincing as a small wave of nausea hit her, and let out a ragged breath. She couldn't sleep by herself. Kicking her legs over the side of the bed, she stood and paced her room for a few moments, trying to think of something, anything she could do to get her mind off of things.

Eventually, she realized there was something she could do. She could call Kouji. But as she picked up her phone, she hesitated. He shouldn't have to lose sleep over what she had done. It wasn't right of her to ask him to. So instead, she bit her lip and dialed Cam's number. He, at least, was part of the issue. As much as she liked him, he had a chance of actually being the one that caused this.

"Cam?" she asked as he picked up the phone. She let out another tired breath. "I'm... I'm sorry for calling so late. I can't sleep at all. Is it okay if I come over?" Tak half-expected him to hang up - she wouldn't blame him if he did.

[Cameron Osiris]

More and more, Cam was thinking about shutting himself into a hole and forgetting about the rest of the world. There were a lot of good things in his life, like his friends, work, his dad, and his Ducky. But there were a lot of things driving him crazy too, like school, his unsorted feelings, and Tak possibly being pregnant, and well, him possibly being the baby’s father didn’t help things. He still hadn’t told Dec about it. Cam decided it would be best to really find out if it was his or not first.

It wasn’t his damn fault if the condom had broke or not, but still, if it had, then they would figure things out. Then something could be done about it. Until then, Cam had done a fairly successful job of not thinking about it. Tak knew he was all in for taking a paternity test, so, whenever that could be done, he’d do it.

Cam never had his phone on silent. He wanted to be there for anyone if they needed him. Fumbling for his phone as it went off, Cam didn’t look at the call display before hearing her voice. “Tak?” He asked, looking at the time. “It’s not that late – come right over.” It sounded like something was wrong. What if she lost the baby? Part of him would be relieved, but the other, bigger part would be devastated.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak curled her knees up to her chest as she waited for an answer, and let out a relieved breath when he didn't hang up. "I'll be over in a minute," she told him quietly. "Thank you." It wasn't in her nature to be so... Not-sarcastic or playful. She didn't like how hard this was on her already; she knew she was going to go through some changes, she just wondered how many there would be.

She pulled on a robe before stepping out into the hall, holding an arm around herself as she walked over to Cam's door. She let herself in quietly and made her way to his room, giving a small knock before opening the door. "Hey," she murmured, poking her head around the door and stepping inside. Without much hesitation, she shuffled over to his bed and sat down, looking over at him with heavy-lidded eyes. She wondered how bad she looked from lack of sleep. "I... I didn't want to be alone," she told him, dipping her head and lacing her fingers together. "I don't feel very good. I think it's, you know..." She motioned vaguely. Of course, what else would it be? "I wasn't sure who else to call." Normally she would have barged in unannounced, but since her talk with him about this situation, she felt much more sensitive to his feelings. She really felt like he cared about her to some extent.

[Cameron Osiris]

"You're welcome." Cam sighed as he clicked his phone off, shoving it back onto his bedside table. Honestly, he couldn't begin to imagine what she was going through. It was one thing to possibly by a dad, but it was another thing entirely to know you were going to be a mom. He shivered as goosebumps overcame him. And all those hormones? Jeeze, as if teenagers didn't have it bad enough already. And then Tak's reality hit him like a brick to the head. They were just teenagers. This was crazy.

"Hey," he returned, rolling over in his bed, closer to her. Cam couldn't tell how bad she looked and wasn't in the mood to let a light shine. Besides, he just woke up from a deep sleep, why would he put on lights? "Mhm, thought so," Cam replied with a yawn. He listened carefully and made a semicircle with his body around her. "You can always call me," he said, meaning it, especially in his sleepy state.

Of course he cared, he cared for everyone. Cameron closed his eyes again. "Talk to me."

[Takchawee Ominotago]

It was crazy. And Tak should have seriously taken the fact that this could happen more seriously when making her life choices. But she hadn't, and now she was stuck with this. With bringing a life into the world. How sick was that? She of all people should be allowed to create a life. She never took the actual act of it seriously.

She leaned back onto her back as Cam came closer to her, feeling bad when he yawned. He had obviously been sleeping, and she was butting in. Still, she let herself fall into his embrace, wrapping her arms gently around him and tucking her head under his chin. "You're the best," she murmured, already feeling a little more at-ease. Of course the situation was still the same, but she was lucky enough to have someone that she could turn to when she needed something like this.

She kept her eyes half-open, still feeling a little sick and too nervous to sleep just yet. "Okay," she replied, trying to think of what to say. "... Do you want to talk about the baby?" she asked. Maybe it would be good to get this out of the way, instead of pretending like it wasn't going to happen. "I mean, whether it's a boy or girl, what I should name it..." She trailed off. She had a lot of time to think about these things, but she wanted to start really thinking about it as soon as possible. "I'm so scared," she added in a whisper, her arms tightening around him slightly. "What if something goes wrong?"

[Cameron Osiris]

Huh, maybe this was why some people didn’t bother with romantic relationships so young. Cameron had never really thought about it that way. Hell, even if this kid wasn’t his, he was learning a lot. It was just too bad that something this hands on had to happen for him to learn at all. He wasn’t made at Tak in the slightest. No matter kind of protection was used, there was still a chance, and human error was always something to take into consideration.

Cam smiled despite the circumstances, a hand around her waist. Yes he was seeing Declyn, but he was going to do everything he could to be there for her. No one should have to go through this alone and he still played a part. If they were going to do grown up things then they were going to have to deal with this. He didn’t know how, but he was willing to try. Maybe she just needed someone to talk to?

“Yeah,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead and trying to be consoling. Maybe he was sleepy, but she obviously had a lot on her mind. No he didn’t owe her anything technically, but it wasn’t in his nature to tell her to go away when she needed someone. And obviously she had thought about a lot of things. “I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” he said, “I went online and when the mother’s stressed out, bad things happen to the baby.” Maybe that wasn’t a good thing to say, but it’s all that came to his mind.

“You talked to the other guys, yeah?” He asked. Everything was still a blur.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak knew people made mistakes in life, and she had always just viewed them as things to learn from. Well, here was her biggest mistake yet, and she had already learned so much. If it could give other people a new perspective, well, even better. There had to be some good things that came out of this.

If she could have known all he was thinking about, she would have been overwhelmed. She had never thought she really deserved to have people like him or Kouji in her life - she didn't know how she had managed to do it. The fact that he was so understanding was just unbelievable. She snuggled close to him, breathing in his familiar scent. So many times they had been in similar positions, but it was amazing how much different it was this time.

She closed her eyes at the kiss, her lips turning into a hint of a smile. Considering all that had happened between when she had told him about this.... She secretly hoped he was the father. He had been the kindest to her, of course. "Do you think so?" she asked quietly, feeling very weak at the moment. She had always prided herself in being strong, but now she wasn't so sure. His comments had her eyes opening with a bit of fear, before she took a deep breath and made herself relax. "I can't let that happen," she murmured. "I can't let anything happen to it." She was even more surprised that he had looked this up. "How much have you been researching?" she murmured, tilting her head back slightly so she could look at him. She hadn't expected any of the boys to do anything; she thought she was going to have to do it all herself.

His question made her start to panic again, before she took another deep breath and tried to calm down. "Yeah," she said quietly, her fingers wrapping around his shirt slightly. "I... Talked to Carter. He..." She blinked, surprised to feel her eyes prick. She just didn't seem to have any handle over her emotions these days. "He wasn't so understanding," she murmured, burying her head into his chest again.

[Cameron Osiris]

Everything was different about them being together like this, but also the same. This, well, was much more intimate than anything they'd experienced before. Cam found it easy and fun to be physical with people, it was this emotional stuff he couldn't deal with. And this was why.

"My dad's always told me that you're never given more than you can bare," he said, playing with the ends of her hair in a sleepy daze. Was it alright for him to be saying this stuff? It partly felt wrong, but if this was what she needed, then it was right. He didn't want her going through this alone, or feel as though it were her against the world. Everyone deserved to be loved. "See, you are strong, and you're gonna be alright." What else could he say? He didn't want her to lose it either. "I dunno, just when I think about it." Which wasn't very often, but there had been a solid night of him looking things up just to get a bigger picture of what was going on. It had been far more helpful than any sex-ed seminar.

"What?" Cam asked, encouraging her and also sensing her alarm. Carter was an interesting guy, and a great lay, but he had a holier than thou attitude than Cam didn't like. Beyond the bedroom, there wasn't a friendship, and that was alright by him. "Ah, screw him." Cam's eyes went wide. "Uh, you know... You know what I mean," he said, trying to catch himself but it was too late. He laughed nervously despite himself from the stress he felt.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Emotions had never been Tak's strong suit - either she simply didn't feel them when most people would, or she hid them to the best of her abilities. She wasn't quite sure why she had grown up that way - maybe her parents had taught her to grow up too independent. Whatever the case, they were both in for a new ride with this situation.

"Your dad sounds nice," she murmured, holding back a yawn. The feeling of his fingers in her hair brought a small smile to her face. She knew he had a boyfriend, and she wasn't planning on making any moves whatsoever that would suggest she wanted more than what he was already giving her, which was more than she had expected. "Yeah," she agreed quietly. It wasn't going to be easy, but she would be alright. His vote of confidence was enough to make drowsiness begin to set in through the fear and sick feelings. "I appreciate that you do," she replied genuinely. "Maybe we'll have to... I don't know. Look at books in the library or something about this stuff." Would that be a good place to start, at least?

Cam's reply to her explanation made Tak's eyes widen, and she let out a short, sad burst of laughter. "Already been there," she chuckled weakly. It was then that she felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she rubbed it angrily, but another replaced it quickly afterwards. "Fuck," she sniffed. "I can't believe I'm crying over something like this." She let out another weak laugh. What the hell was wrong with her?

[Cameron Osiris]

It wasn't that Cam was incapable of emotion, he just didn't like feeling out of sorts. Why have drama when you could be carefree? He had had plenty of deep and meaningful conversations with his dad, and with his friends, but it wasn't something he had made a habit out of doing. He was usually upfront with how he felt - sometimes that didn't end so well and he'd already lost a friend this year. When he was truly upset though, he couldn't hide it. It was sort of hard to hide even a speck of light in the most darkest of places.

Cam smiled softly, his thoughts going to his home. He didn't have much, but he couldn't ask for more. "Yeah, he's the best." If anyone really wanted to get under his skin, they'd only need to threaten his family. "Well, I don't know what I'd be doing in your shoes right now, so..." He gulped. Now he knew how Declyn felt when he was pouring his heart out because he thought it had all been a dream. Maybe Cam would wake up and none of this was actually happening.

Cam laughed bitterly and mentally kicked himself. He hadn't meant it that way, not even a little. The telltale sniffles set in and Cam felt like an utter idiot. He laughed again at her statement, a reaction that didn't match but happened anyways. "If you weren't crying, I'd be more worried," he said, because if she was going to not give a shit about the situation and not care, he'd have a harder time with the place she was in right now. Now was a good a time as any to be humble about her actions, and hell, this was probably the best thing to cry about.

"Maybe you should talk to Dr. Neville," Cam said, a little more awake now. "And well, I could come with you."

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak took a deep breath, then quietly admitted,"I... I haven't told my parents yet." She wasn't sure how they would react. She didn't think they would be completely disappointed - they weren't like that - but having to tell them was harder than any of the other people she had had to tell so far. And her little sister.... She hated to think about it. "And I still don't really know what I'm doing," she told him, letting a hand drop down to her stomach. Oh, how she wished this was all a dream.

She knew what he had meant, and that was why Tak didn't understand why it had set her off. "Yeah, I guess," she mumbled, figuring that if anything was going to break her normally apathetic facade, it would be this. How did most people in these situations deal with this? She rubbed at her eyes again, feeling her drowsiness go away again. So much for getting any sleep tonight.

What he suggested was something she knew she should do; she just... Hadn't been able to push herself to go do it yet. If there was anything she hated doing, it was asking adults for advice. But who else was she supposed to turn to now? "Yeah, I should," she agreed, making a mental note to get in touch with someone that could set up an appointment. It was going to be hell for her, but if it meant better care for the baby that was going to come... She had to do it. She felt her eyes widen at his offer, and she looked up at him, speechless for a moment. "You don't have to do that," she told him. "I... I mean, I won't turn down the offer but..." She touched his cheek gently. "Don't feel like you have to." She didn't want to guilt him into anything. He was already doing enough just by being there for her.

[Cameron Osiris]

Cam listened intently. "Are you close with them?" He wondered aloud. If he were her, she wouldn't tell them for as long as he could. He frowned slightly. "What do you mean?" It could've meant anything. She didn't know what she was doing about what? Cam didn't know how to take care of a baby either - he didn't have a hot clue. Maybe that's what she meant.

Sometimes things had to be done. Yeah it would be uncomfortable to go talk to a staff member, but there wasn't time to get used to the idea, especially one that wouldn't become more comfortable. Besides, there was a baby involved. He put a finger to her lips to quiet her, not wanting to think about his offer too much. She wasn't guilting him into anything, it was just the right thing to do.

"You keepin' the baby?" He asked next, feeling himself lulling back to sleep.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak nodded quietly. "My family is the only thing I know I love," she murmured. She didn't mention Kouji - she still wasn't quite sure what to think about him, even though she knew she felt different about him than pretty much anyone else. Cam was slowly becoming more important to her, too. She didn't know when or how she was going to tell her parents. "I mean... I'm not sure what to do now," she whispered. "I know it's all my own fault, but... It's just not fair to the baby, to have to have me as its mom." She couldn't provide for a child, even if she wouldn't outright admit it to anyone. Especially the Chevalier boys.

She stopped talking as Cam held a finger to her mouth. Instead, she pressed her head against his chest again, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. It comforted her, somehow. And she was determined now more than ever to talk to someone that might actually be able to help her get through all of this.

His question made her pause. Was she? Would that really be fair to the baby? "I... I don't know, Cam," she murmured into his shirt. "I don't think I'd be a good mother for it. And depending on who, you know, the dad is...." She trailed off. How much say was she going to have in it if it was Carter or Dom? "I just think it deserves a better life than what I could provide." It was easy to talk about giving it up now; it was still just a tiny speck in her womb, after all. Her mind could change once the signs became more noticeable.

[Cameron Osiris]

"I know how you feel," he said, allowing her into the small chambers of his heart because he knew how vulnerable she felt, and well, this was at least getting to know one another. "It's not like you made yourself pregnant. Yeah you are, but you didn't do this to be a bad person." Cam believed she was a great woman, even though he knew very little about her. "Life's not fair," he pointed out as gently as he could. Tak was going to have to learn how to deal with this, and fast.

"Okay," Cam said, "what if you knew who the dad was? Would you keep it?" Tak was dancing around the question and Cam knew it was because of the situation itself. This probably wasn't something she had taken into consideration. And well, would she really be able to give it up if she went through with the pregnancy to full term? Maybe she wasn't ready yet, but maybe she could be. Cam was just curious how much thought she was giving everything, or if she was just imploding.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

What Cam said made sense, and it made Tak feel a little better. "I just wanted to have fun with people, you know?" she told him. He of all people should understand - they had a similar mindset when it came to intimacy. "I never really took it seriously that... Something like this could happen. I was an idiot." So yeah, maybe not a bad person. Just really, really ignorant and dumb. "It's not, is it?" she answered, her mouth twisting into a sarcastic smirk. "At least I have you and Kouji." If she was going to trust anyone to help her with this, it was them.

She thought for a moment. "If it's one of the twins... I don't know if they'll let me give it away." Her voice was bitter as she thought about it. "Oh shit," she gasped, just realizing something. "What... What if it's twins?" She hadn't even considered that yet. Wasn't a person that was a twin more likely to have them? And she was talking about two of them. She shook her head, dismissing the thought. She would worry about that if and when it happened. "And... If it's you..." She glanced up at him again, catching his eyes. "Well.... Maybe we could raise it," she murmured. "But you have a boyfriend, Cam, and it's not fair of me to expect you to drop everything for the baby. And neither of us could really afford it. You know?" That was the sad truth. "I don't know if we have very many options."