(12/14) - You got that kind of medicine ...?

[Dr. Nik Kenjutsushi]

Nakia refrained from quoting the familiar adage about clouds and silver linings, knowing that it likely wouldn't help. Instead, she just listened as she dropped the last of the tissues into the wastebasket, knowing where the boy was coming from. The world always seemed so dark when there was no one to help you, or when an illusion that you'd built to make yourself happier vanished like so much smoke.


As she stood, however, the blanket came over his head and she heard the soft sound of a child weeping. Her heart pained to hold him, but she could not, just like she could not hold their oldest daughter; she would take away more physical pain than emotional hurt, and that would not help either of them. Instead, she placed one chilly hand on his covered wrist with the most empathy she could muster. "I'm glad you know his reasons," she stated gently, her maternal tone holding knowledge of what he felt. "But you must know he doesn't hate you for your feelings. I'm sure somewhere in that mess of feelings, he's flattered in a way, even though he can't return your affection the way you wanted. He knows what it's like to want something you know you can't have, as do I, and what it's like to fall after reaching too far and being denied. You are not awful, nor are you pathetic; you're scared, and lonely, and needing someone to care. There is no shame in that, and both of us will help you if you only let us."


His long pause after her words about his friends made Nik smile slightly, and the albino let him linger on those without comment until he spoke again. The thoughts of his dreams made her think abruptly of Vincent's night terrors - the memories in dreamspace that would periodically wake him sharply from his sleep, seeking an enemy that wasn't there. Those dreams always meant something, and often it was psychological trauma. That seemed to be the case here, as well.


"Perhaps it is your subconscious mind trying to make you remember a detail that can change your perception," she offered. "Our minds want to heal when we're in pain. Even if it causes pain to make us see it. There must be something you locked away in your grief that will help you help yourself. After that, caring for yourself and learning to care for others will come much easier. Just remember that the people you rely on are helping you because they want to, not because you're making them."

[Leiken Chu]

"I do know, b-b-but it still hurts alot. " he stated as he choked back more tears. The hand on his arm made him tremble more so, he wasn't sure whether to recoil from it, or beg to be hugged and told he was going to be alright. So what he did was just lay still as he was and to take neither action or request. "flattered? " he murmured softly. Listening to her words as he gave a small sound that resembled a hiccup. "Can you? Help me i mean. can i really even be helped?" he stated with a tone that told of his fears.

"I am not sure if i want to remember. The memories i already have are near-unbearable. Sometimes i wonder if my heart ached anymore than it already does if i would become numb and unable to feel entirely." he stated as he wiped his eyes on the edge of his own blanket. "I -i suppose so, but... what if they get hurt? What if another one dies because of me?" he stated in a fear filled tone.

[Dr. Nik Kenjutsushi]

"If you want to be helped, then I'm sure you can find plenty of people willing," the doctor stated firmly. "I know that I will be here if you need me, either medically or just to talk. There is no harm in asking people for help, and often it leads to bettering yourself in ways you didn't think possible. This is why this school was built; to help students and better them for their lives in the real world."


Pausing, the woman looked the boy over for a moment before speaking. "Lei, I would like you to sit up, can you do that for me?" If he was sitting upright, she could not only discern the current effect of the bruises on his body, but she could wrap him up in blankets and hold him close like she would do for her younglings when they were frightened. If he couldn't move, there were other problems but it would cause no harm to her pride.

[Leiken Chu]

"Do..do you think so?" he questioned though the only one he really wanted to help him was the one he had pushed the furthest away. He stared toward the ceiling for a moment, giving a small whimpered out sound, "I want to be better. I want to be strong like Vinny. I want to be loved like you love him. How.. how did you love him past the demons of his past? " He questioned. Perhaps if she could explain to him that he might be able to hope someone could do the same for him in the future.

"o..okay." he sputtered out through his slowing tears. He shifted slightly, pressing his hands into the bed, giving a pained expression as he raised himself upright. the pain wasn't as bad as it had been, but it was still there. His expressions told this as wella s the small whine he would exhale from the tenderness of his body. He sat upright at last, giving out an exhausted breath, looking to the woman as he hugged his blanket around himself to keep warm. "I.. is there something wrong with me?"

[Dr. Nik Kenjutsushi]

The pale woman nodded, absolutely sure. She always had faith in people, even when the world seemed determined to prove her wrong. It was one of the few good lessons she'd taken from living with her father; despite all of the hate and darkness in the world, there was always far more light and love than people knew. "Strength comes from within, regardless of its form," she answered softly, "and to love someone else you must love yourself. Those are some lessons that we taught each other rather harshly in our first few years. It also helped that he was honest from the beginning, and that when his demons overtook him that I knew... I knew he was still the same person under all that pain, not the monster he thought he'd become."


Her smile became ever more gentle as she gathered up the blankets around Lei and wrapped them over his shoulders. "No, not at all," the doctor replied. She made sure that he was wrapped tight, like a cocoon, before she sat next to him and pulled the boy close for a gentle embrace. "I just wanted to make sure that I could do this."


She paused for a moment, then continued speaking softly. "There is one thing you must always remember, Lei; fear is a tool our minds create to keep us from becoming hurt. Bravery is acting, despite that fear. If you let fear control your world, then you cannot control yourself. If you can't control yourself, you'll hurt more people and become more afraid. Do you see now that this hateful cycle is only causing you more pain? Break the cycle and trust us to help you. There is always a way out."

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken's eyes reflected every bit of his pain, from their gaze, to the tears that they released in a light rain upon his cheeks. He couldn't help but to feel somewhat shattered. Even with her encouraging words he would wonder and doubt whether or not he would find someone who could look past the monster that he believed himself to be and love him beyond it all. " I hope that i can understand what that means one day." he choked out.

He wasn't really sure why she was wrapping him in blanketes, was he going to catch a cold, was he bleeding somewhere he didn't feel? Though as she pulled him close he made a surprised sound, his eyes going wide for a moment, though his expression softened. He lost his composure once again breaking down as he leaned into the embrace of the woman's arms. Tears streaming down his face as he curled his burritoed body into that comforting embrace. "why..." he choked out though he could not finish.

He listened to her words, despite himself, and he found that they held alot of things that he could find belief in. Things that sounded reasonable. Though he wondered if he could face his fear of seeing vincent again. If he did that could he break himself of the fears that the man had abandoned him as a student. Perhaps as well break the chain of pain that held tight to his heart because of what he'd gone through with the other man. His tears flowed freely as he sobbed into her embrace, "I will try." he promised.

[Dr. Nik Kenjutsushi]

"I know you will," she promised.


Though he wept in her arms, she held him still, not being able to bear letting him go. Children needed comfort not scorn when they were hurting, and the mother in her could not stand for seeing him suffer so. So she held him tight, and spoke her piece, and then just let him cry without judging him. It was all she could do, but it seemed to be enough. "That is all I ask, dear child," she murmured. "That is all anyone can ask."


She would stay there with him as long as he needed, as there were many hours still left until her daughters would be heading home. There was only so much someone could do, but Nakia was determined to do all of it that she could. She would not let children suffer if she could do something about it.