So this ain't the end (Robbie)

[Tanner Larson]

Tanner had been inside the Quarter Note before, but only briefly, and at that time he had just been browsing. That was before he had started working at the House, back when his interest in music was merely rudimentary. This time, he was here with a purpose. Cynthia had challenged him to try singing something different – as in, something he hadn’t just heard on the radio the night before – so Tanner figured she had wanted something a bit older. Tanner was banking on this place having some good eighties’ music or something – he wasn’t really sure what he was looking for, but he wanted to do well.

He had been there for about five minutes, and already he was feeling like perhaps he would walk out empty-handed. They had plenty of music spanning the genres, but nothing that really caught his eye. What he needed was something that inspired him, something that excited him, something that made him want to jump right on stage and wow the crowd.

And then he saw it.

It was sitting on a shelf by the front window, right in between Hall and Oates and INXS. Tanner headed over to it immediately, taking it up in both hands, peering down lovingly with eyes of light blue.

Heart: The Musical Anthology – 1976-1993

The boy was practically dreaming. This was too good to be true. The young pyrokinetic looked around, eyes darting left and right, as though to be sure that he was the only one who had seen it, and that it was in fact all his. Heart was one of the best bands of all time, and in fact Cynthia’s first audition at the House had been to their hit, “Crazy on You.” What he wouldn’t give to perform that song, not to mention other smashes such as “Barracuda” and “Never,” on that stage in her footsteps.

Oh, he was so buying this.

Once he had gotten over his initial excitement, he more or less settled into the book, opening up the flimsy, dusty front cover and glancing at its contents. He was leaning near the shelf, reading lyrics through the light filtering in through the window, the occasional shopper passing by outside on their way to this store or that restaurant. But Tanner was content for now to just stand there by the window, checking out his favorite new thing.

Today could not possibly get any better.

[Robbie Wilkes]

Robbie was coming back from doing his week's grocery shopping when he passed the music store up to his apartment. He had to do a double take when he saw someone very familiar through the window. It hadn't even been less than a year since that awkward study moment they had but Robbie was pretty sure that hadn't happened.

Which was how he found himself knocking on the store window, waving to get Tanner's attention. He seemed to intent on reading whatever it was in his hand.

The weather manipulator started hollering and using both hands to knock on the store's window, much to the store owner's dismay. Robbie couldn't quite care less. It had been awhile since Robbie saw Tanner and this serendipitous meeting was not something he was going to take lightly.

"Tanner!" He hollered, not even thinking of actually going into the music store to jump on the other boy.

[Tanner Larson]

The words leapt up off the page, and the blonde was practically humming the notes to himself as he read.

"So this ain't the end - I saw you again today;
I had to turn my heart away..."

Oh, this was such a good song. The pyro could already imagine himself singing it. He wasn't entirely sure it was all within his range, but he could work on that with the pianist ahead of time. As it was, something about the song just seemed so perfect.

"You lying so low in the weeds,
I bet you gonna ambush me,
You'd have me down, down, down, down on my knees,
Now wouldn't ya-"

A sudden jolt stirred Tanner from the song, and he looked up wide-eyed to see a very familiar face gazing at him from beyond the window. Robbie; the boy recognized him immediately. It had been, what, almost a year since they had seen one another? Not quite, but certainly several months. He couldn't help but smile in spite of the scene the other male was making - but that certainly didn't stop him from looking around to make sure nobody else was watching. Robbie was very good at causing a commotion, that he remembered quite clearly.

"Umm, hi," he said through the glass, color coming to his face as he gave a little wave, hugging his new book to his chest. Err... this was getting a bit strange. Was he not going to come in? Tanner sure as heck wasn't leaving the store without making his purchase. He thought about beckoning the other inside, but he stopped himself from doing so; seeing Robbie again made him remember the last time they had spent any real time together. Something about that day was really bitter in his memories. He would be lying were he to say he hadn't thought about that moment several times since then. They had been so close, and then so far, for so long. It was very strange. Had he done something wrong? Robbie had really surprised him that day, and in a small way had actually upset him. And now here he was, standing there behind the window, looking like he was so happy to see him.

"Wouldn't ya - Barracuda?"

[Robbie Wilkes]

When Tanner didn't budge from his perch, Robbie huffed, causing his fringe to fly all over the place. But when the other blonde boy finally acknowledged Robbie's presence, the weather manipulator jumped about and ran into the store.

Without any regard whatsoever to the nature of the store, he yelled Tanner's name and after dropping his two bags of groceries on the floor, he jumped on Tanner, hugging the boy tight. "Dude! It's been forever!" Robbie exclaimed before releasing his hold on the other boy.

"How've you been?" Robbie asked, bouncing as he sat down in front of Tanner, his voice having no understanding of the concept 'inside voice'.

[Tanner Larson]

Well, Tanner supposed he was happy Robbie was coming into the store, though he felt bad for whoever owned this establishment. If Robbie was anything like how he remembered him, it was about to get a lot louder in here. Still, their little trans-window greeting had been sort of awkward, so the blonde supposed that this would be better.

He still wasn't exactly sure whether he actually wanted to see the kid.

But it was clear, judging by the way the other boy bounded into the store, dropped his bags on the floor, and ran up to him, just how Robbie felt. But that was typical Robbie - typical, hyperactive, Robbie. The tight bear hug the weather manipulator pulled him into nearly knocked the wind out of the poor unsuspecting pyrokinetic, who looked frantically over to the register as though to make sure the store manager wasn't giving them a dirty look. "Uh, yeah, it has," he agreed, eyebrows raising into the air. Wasn't it Robbie's fault it had been forever?

He watched curiously as Robbie took a seat on the floor of all places; yes, this was definitely the Robbie he remembered. It seemed like Tanner had done all of the growing up for the both of them. He wasn't planning on joining him on the ground, though; he simply hadn't been given a reason to, as far as he was concerned. "I've been good," he replied, trying to seem as friendly as he could. He couldn't help but seem a bit distant, though; it was a very peculiar situation in which he now found himself. Could Robbie really just come bounding - literally - back into his life after that awkward 'nothing really happened' moment they'd shared, followed by months of not seeing one another? Was it really that easy? "How have you been?"

[Robbie Wilkes]

Robbie was a little unaware of Tanner's discomfort as he squeezed the other boy in the hug and as he sat down, Robbie looked up at Tanner with a huge grin, oblivious to the other blonde's thoughts.

"That's good man, that's good." He nodded enthusiastically, glad his friend was doing okay. "I've been good man. Classes have been a chore. But it's good man. I mean, I've got my own apartment. I live next to a really rad old lady who gives me food some times." He chuckled.

"Um...how's Hammel?" He asked, still looking up at Tanner.

[Tanner Larson]

Tanner nodded his head as he listened to Robbie's response. He had actually sort of forgotten the kid had graduated and went to college. Well, that might help explain why it had been so long since they had spoken - but it certainly didn't account for all of the silence. And it had started before Robbie had left Hammel, not after. He supposed he was just so busy with everything he had going on that the timeline had just sort of blurred. "Ah, that's good to hear," he said, nodding his head awkwardly as he shifted his weight from one hip to the other.

"Hammel's fine," he replied, a bit tersely, as he hugged his music book - well, it was his once he paid for it - to his chest. He just didn't feel like saying much else beyond that. He was starting to regret this chance meeting, but maybe it wasn't chance. Maybe something he didn't grasp had brought them here, and this music book he'd been searching ages for was a sign that he had been meant to be at the mall that day.

"So... what... happened?" He surpised himself with these words, but they had been on his mind ever since he'd seen the boy, and finally they'd just voiced themselves. He wasn't even sure if Robbie would know what he meant by the question.

[Robbie Wilkes]

Robbie was finally feeling a little bit of the tension that had filled the air. He had been so excited to see an old friend that he hadn't seen it at first. But now that he was calming down a little, he could see that Tanner was a little quiet. More so than usual.

"That's good, that good." He nodded, giving Tanner a big grin, which slowly faltered when the other boy asked the sort of vague question. Robbie scrambled to find an answer to it but when he came up with nothing, he looked at Tanner through squinted eyes.

"Um...With what?"

[Tanner Larson]

At first, Tanner could only blink - literally, just stand there and blink down at the other boy. Was he really that blissfully unaware of the lingering tension between them? Even if it was just one-sided, did he not feel it even in the slightest? Had he forgotten what had happened?

He knew Robbie was a little bit of a dolt, but there was no way he was that stupid.

"You really don't know," he replied simply, and it wasn't immediately obvious whether this was a statement or a question. "You really can't possibly figure out what I'm asking about?" He wasn't trying to be rude, though that was likely how it sounded; he was just genuinely surprised and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

He gave a soft sort of sigh, not of anger or despair, but of perplexity. "Um, I'm going to go buy this," he said awkwardly, gesturing to the book he was still holding close to his chest. Again, his intention wasn't to be cross, but he just didn't know that there was any point to this conversation continuing. He made moves to step around the boy sitting on the ground in the direction of the register.

((Heh, sorry... I'm not totally sure where this can go from here ^^; I mean it would be totally out of character for Tanner to be like "omg heyyyy" but I'm sure it would also be out of character for Robbie to like... suddenly get serious XD So I'm not really sure what we can do! Do you have any ideas??))

[Robbie Wilkes]

[OOC: Is cool man! Robbie can do serious more often these days. He just needs a trigger. ^^]

Tanner's silence worried Robbie and that scared him a little. He was trying very hard to remember what had happened and through his archive, all he could think of was the last time they had been together.

Was that what Tanner was talking about?

Well shit.

When Tanner started to leave, Robbie jumped up and held on to the other blonde's arm, preventing him from leaving. "Um..." he started, not really knowing how to put into words what exactly had happened.

"Tanner...I..." Robbie chewed on his bottom lip, frowning a little, not entirely certain what he could say to make things any better. In fact, the thing he really needed to say was probably going to make things much worst.

"Are you...talking about our study session?" He asked, hoping against all hope that he wasn't. "I uh..." he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He realised that he was still holding on to Tanner's arm so he sheepishly let go, burying his hands deep into his jeans pockets. "If you are then...I'm so sorry. I...was going through some rough shit back then and...um...I have a girlfriend and uh...I'm sorry that I led you on...if I led you on. I mean...I like you man, you're my homeboy. But..." he gulped and scratched the back of his head, hoping Tanner would say something. Anything.

[Tanner Larson]

Tanner stopped immediately in his tracks as he felt the boy's hand on his arm. He had to admit, he was surprised at the gesture, and genuinely impressed. That seemed sort of unlike the other blonde. He turned around in his place, and when he saw the boy's thoughtful frown, he knew then that he remembered.

He listened patiently; he knew Robbie wasn't one to have serious discussions very often - hell, that was what he had found so refreshing about him in the first place, his nearly constant jovial nature - and he knew he was asking a bit much by essentially forcing him into a conversation he probably didn't want to have with him, let alone himself.

But when he finally got an answer, he didn't like what he heard.

So Robbie still had a girlfriend. "Well, that's just great, Robbie," he stated, and it was fairly obvious that he meant it sardonically. "I guess everything's just right where you want it." The pyro wasn't sure why this fact made him angrier; obviously it was lingering feelings of remorse at missed opportunities, but he wasn't really able to grasp that at the morning

Furthermore, he didn't appreciate the apology. Robbie hadn't just 'led him on'; Tanner knew what he saw and knew what he felt, and the pyrokinetic knew he wasn't the only one in the room who had been about to act on what he was feeling. "I don't need your pity," he added in a sort of half-hearted grumble. "I don't believe you, though." He looked back up at the boy, eyebrows both raised challengingly. He didn't know what he expected Robbie to say in response to that; it wasn't like the other boy was suddenly going to admit he had feelings for him or something. He wasn't even sure the weather manipulator did have those sorts of feelings for him; actually, he was virtually certain he didn't anymore, as it had been nearly a year since they had last seen one another, but it had seemed like he had at the time. There was no way he had misread him so spectacularly, right?

[Robbie Wilkes]

As predicted, Robbie could see the fire in Tanner's eyes when he finished talking. He knew it wouldn't go over well. He knew that the usually mild-mannered Tanner was going to get sarcastic and snippy at him.

The fact of the matter was, Robbie wasn't telling Tanner what he wanted to hear. Msotly because Robbie felt like his feelings for Tanner then would be considered cheating on Dani. And that was a horrible feeling. The weather manipulator was certain that had Dani not been someone he truly cared about it, he would have continued with the kiss. He was, and probably still is, attracted to Tanner. He knew that.

But this was all a great disservice to Dani. Because for all his idiosyncracies, the surest thing he knew was that he was in love with Dani. There was no doubt in his mind that Dani was the one for him. But could he really deny that he had so wanted to kiss Tanner that day during their study session?

"It's not pity. I swear. I'm sorry because...God fucking damn it. This is hard." Robbie buried his hand up in his hair and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "I'm not going to lie to you. I wanted...I wanted that kiss to happen. I wouldn't have...it wouldn't have happened if I didn't." He was wrecked with guilt over Dani but he had to be honest with Tanner. It was the least he could do.

"But I love Dani. It doesn't excuse what I did. I know that. I shouldn't have started what I knew I couldn't finish. And I'm sorry for that. I fucked up."

[Tanner Larson]

Tanner certainly didn't get the response he had expected. Frankly, he had expected silence. Robbie was usually fairly easy to stump.

Perhaps he had changed more than Tanner had given him credit for.

The blonde took a physical step back when Robbie admitted aloud to him that he had wanted to kiss him. Somehow, hearing out loud made it hurt more; it was as though the pain and confusion he had felt that day was suddenly upon him once more, and for a second, he couldn't even form words to articulate how he felt about this new, sudden revelation. But he was Tanner, and he was rarely left speechless, even if he usually chose to keep his comments to himself.

He recovered quickly.

"It didn't happen anyway," he fired back, shifting his weight from one hip to the other. There was very little sympathy in his voice, but the truth was, if he stepped out of the situation and viewed things with an objective eye, one had to feel for the guy. It was clear he was happily taken by... whoever, but at the same time coming to terms with the fact that he had a physical attraction for another man. It was certainly a sticky situation for anyone, let alone for someone with the complete inability to grasp complex situations of Robbie Wilkes.

Dani. That was her name. He'd never heard of her. She was lucky for that reason. She was lucky for a couple reasons, as it were. He sighed deeply, frustratedly. It was like he couldn't even be mad, because he already had someone, and he felt bad about it. He didn't get a kiss, he didn't get Robbie, and he didn't get to be justifiably upset.

"Yeah, you did fuck up," he agreed at length. He wasn't satisfied with that response, though; kid couldn't help how he felt, right? But it was easier to blame him than some unseen, cosmic force of love or lust or whatever it was that had come between them. "I guess it's just a matter of bad timing..." He added finally, seemingly more calm than before though clearly still very annoyed. But there was no resolution to this, that much he had realized by now. He was just going to have to live with the fact that he hadn't gotten there first.

[Robbie Wilkes]

Robbie flinched when Tanner responded, his face dropping instantly at the anger coming from the pyro. The weather manipulator was beginning to remember why avoided conflict at all costs.

He sighed a lot as he tried to grasp at a semblance of a redo to this whole mess. He knew no apology was going to suffice, not at that moment anyway. Robbie briefly mused that he wouldn't have batted an eye if this happened to him a year ago. How so much had changed in just one year.

"Is...is there anything...anything I could do to make it up to you?" Robbie asked, desperation tainting every syllable of his speech. He tried to step forward, to close the gap between them so that he could...so that he could what? Comfort the other boy?

[Tanner Larson]

The blonde shook his head defiantly. No, there was nothing Robbie could do, that much was obvious. At least, nothing that wouldn't end up making things worse. Surely that was a feeling the boy was used to. He hated how this was making him act: yes, he occasionally thought of Robbie and got a bit upset, but never like this. Seeing the other boy again brought back all of the pain he had thought he was over. He absolutely hated it.

"What do you want me to say, Robbie?" He asked forcefully. "That it doesn't still hurt? It does." Ugh. He sounded like such a depressive, but at that very moment, it happened to be true. He noticed the boy moving towards him hesitantly, and while he didn't step away from him, he didn't do anything to close the gap, either. What could that possibly accomplish? He took a deep breath, sighing. "I just can't believe you're here." He had gotten used to not seeing him around; as far as he was concerned, it was for the best. So why was he here now, out of the blue? What was the point?

"So I guess you really like her..." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't help but say them, and bitterly. He was usually so logical, so rational - but he just didn't get it. How could someone want to kiss him when they were already taken? Was that even possible?