Second Chances (Leiken)

[Vincent Meian]

Vincent sat in the training room alone, meditating by himself in the stillness and quiet of the room. His injuries looked better, though far from healed - his arms and neck were still covered, though now his hands were free to move as they would thanks to Dr. Roberts. His legs were folded under him in a traditional posture, his hands resting in his lap as he waited.


Truthfully, he'd waited for three days now; the first Wednesday, then the Friday, and now today. It was far too early for Lei to come back, of course, but he waited regardless. It was a showing of his stubbornness and pride - that he would not give up, even though all signs pointed against the forgiveness they both required to move on.


Taking a deep breath, the trainer sighed it out, the breath expanding and relaxing his chest under the black turtleneck he wore. If he was to wait, then he could wait in peace; relaxing, letting go, and clearing his mind. Concentrating on his last lesson. In. Out. Slowly, surely, purposefully. He had almost an hour yet until the room was free to another. And he could be patient.

[Leiken Chu]

Lei sighed heavily to himself, he kept running through his mind everything that had happened, and all the advice that he'd been given. Words played in his head like an old family video. The words echoing in his mind clearly 'you have to forgive yourself. You have to move forward. You can't live in the past. What's done is done. ' He shook his head a bit as he exhaled a breath he'd held in attempts to calm his anxious feeling. 'You've got to move on. You're not a monster. You can do th is. ' All of those words and many more that were much more deeply encouraging drove him forward.

Even if vincent had given up on him, he couldn't give up on himself, he had to move forward. To get past the pain, to get past the memories, to gain a future before it was to late. He had to man up, to say the least, he had to take those steps of his own will and let go of those things that had been holding him back.

His body was healing well, most of his physical injuries had left him, though the emotional scars were still there. He wondered, silently, how vincent was. Whether he was okay. Whether he harbored a hatred for him for what had happened. It was embarrassing enough to imagine how vincent felt when he realized the feelings he'd had for him. His trainer. "So stupid." he spoke softly to himself. Shaking his head a bit.

Alot had happened since that day, alot of people had talked to him, and comforted him. He could still feel the cucooned hug from the woman who'd done so much for him, vincent's wife, and the embrace from the other teacher he felt a close friendship with. Strangely enough, lei did not have the same sort of idea from his relationship with Orion, the man was more of a brother and deep friend to him. Or so he'd come to feel after their talk anyway.

All of these people helped him realize that there was hope. Hope for him not to be a monster. Hope for him to be able to trust, but at the same time those inner demons kept pulling on him. Telling him to run the other way. Reminding him of the past and the way he felt when vincent rejected him.

Lei was bundled in a panda-sweat shirt, something he'd worn off and on since he realized jun liked it so much when he did, he wasn't really sure why. However, it was comfortable anyway so it wasn't something he wouldn't have worn any other time anyway. His black cotton pants, those he would have worn to work it out if he could, hung loosely around his feet.

The sound of wooden shoes hitting the floor echoed out as he walked, stopping infront of the training room door, a small bag in one hand. In the other was a container of purple-colored sticks. Lavender incense to be exact. he used shifted a bit, awkwardly opening the door, a breath escaping his in a shaken manner as he struggled to open and close the door behind himself. Though he had not noticed, at first, that there was another person within the room. His back to the man as he closed the door behind himself.

Leiken would then turn, starting toward the center of the room, though he stopped. Freezing in place at the sight of the familiar figure there. A certain amount of fear and shock crossing his expression. He suddenly felt his heart in his throat as if he were going to vomit it up onto the floor right there. His own ability trying to force his pulse back into a normal rhythm as he stood there for a moment's time.

Vincent was there, sitting, as though he were going through the empty session himself. Leiken finally broke of his shock, though he choked out his words in a soft, meek tone. "g-g-g-ood evening..." the sound of his own voice made him unsure if he was ready to face that man, but it had to be done. He couldn't hide from him forever. Leiken was glad for one thing at least, that amos had not heard him stutter out in his nervousness, he didn't have a natural stutter. though when he was nervous his tongue did not want to work the proper way.

[Vincent Meian]

Meditation wasn't just for monks or old people or even for martial artists. It was for anyone who had too much weighing on their mind, who needed to take a step back and be at peace without their thoughts plaguing their minds incessantly. It was also for those who sought answers; by allowing their minds to relax and drift across the problems ahead of them without thinking too hard, sometimes the answer simply came into being, like an epiphany.


And sometimes, it was simply because someone wanted to have solitude, to be alone and quiet without the outside or inside crushing in on them.


The door opened without so much as a knock, and Vincent's eyes opened, staring at the wall directly ahead of him. The mirrors there showed a familiar figure dressed in a way that was not, and he was about to turn when the boy did. It was Lei, looking better than Vincent was sure he did, though he looked positively terrified at seeing someone else in the room.


No, not just "someone else"; him. The boy was afraid of him.


The stuttered greeting was enough to make him aware that he had been waiting for something. Without standing, the trainer turned around and faced his student, still sitting on his shins and knees. With a respectful bow, he answered, "Good evening, Leiken." His tone and posture were both solemn and respectful - there was no room for joking here. Straightening, he looked directly at the teen, unsure of what to say for the moment before he settled on the simplest of things.


"You are looking well. Have you come to train?"

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made an uncomfortable expression as he saw the man turning toward him, had he known he was going to be there he wouldn't have dressed so, childish. Or at least that's how he played it out in his mind. His face drew faint color to the surface as he looked off slightly. Then back to the other man as he forced himself to walk closer, respectfully bowing as well, though it felt awkward to do so.

There was so much tension in the air he felt as if he could be literally crushed by it.

Lei moved across the floor, lowering himself to sit cross-legged, as he had during the last training session they'd had. He swallowed his fear, giving a sharp intake of breath, then exhaling just as sharply. "I am still recovering, but for the most part I am well--physically." he added emphasis to the word physically. Though he was having a hard time looking at the man.

It took him several more minutes before he would raise his eyes to meet vincents. Be stubborn, be strong, it's over now. The pain will go away. They were all things he kept telling himself as he stared at the man. Though he felt a swelling sensation as though he were to break down in tears right there. His lips trembled slightly, as his eyes held to the sight of vincent's own, growing faintly glassy.

Lei clenched his fists on his own thigh a bit, though suddenly he drew his hand upward, in a sweeping motion. Intending to make palm-to-cheek contact with Vincent's face. Though regardless of whether or not it would hit his hand would draw back just as quickly, curling his fingers against his chest, "It's not your fault, but god damnit i hate the truth."

Lei wasn't really sure what he felt it would accomplish by the statement, but he felt a little relief in it passing his lips. He would tremble slightly as he lowered his hand, "Ye...yes.. I've come to train, but I thought. " he trailed off. "I didn't expect you to be here. I thought since you didn't stay before that you'd given up on me too." he trailed off agian.

[Vincent Meian]

Though Lei had no reason to be respectful, the simple act of the returned bow was enough to let the trainer calm himself further. He hadn't left; it was a start. Despite the tension, the teen actually seemed willing to be close enough to speak - he moved to within arm's length, sat, and fidgeted, but he did not leave. The most important thing was that he didn't leave.


The direct emphasis confirmed what he knew from Nik - his emotions were still rioting, as well they should be, but at the very least his body was stable once more. The tall man nodded with the assessment, unmoving aside from that. "At least there is that," he commented softly. "Nakia tells me that you should be fully recovered after the holidays."


After a long moment of silence, if came to Vincent that this might not have been the best idea. At least, not yet. But if not from the beginning, then when? Was he supposed to leave the boy to his own devices, wondering yet again how his trainer felt when a simple act could show it? No - this was not the wrong thing to do. It was simply one of the more painful ideas - for both of them. He looked into the eyes of the boy whose heart he'd broken, and he opened his mouth to speak-


CRACK!


The hand hit his face with little to no warning, and there was a surprising amount of strength behind it from a person as thin as the one before him. Though it didn't turn his head (that was a Hollywood gimmick), it did leave the skin on his cheek stinging and it startled him. Though stunned, he'd almost expected it. After all, it happened the last time he'd turned down a student's affections. This was practically par for the course at this point. Still, he had to shake his head at the boy's words. "We were both at fault," he answered softly. "I was not clear when I needed to be, and I did not give you the truth until it was too late."


Too late? Too late for what? An easy let-down? There's no such thing.


Looking up at the boy from where his gaze had fallen, Vincent searched Lei's face for the truth in those statements. He really had thought he'd been abandoned again. "I did not stay in the infirmary because it would have pained you more to see me," came the murmured answer. "I had hurt you enough for one day; you needed space and time to think. You could not do that with me at your side. It would have solved nothing."

[Leiken Chu]

"I hope so. I don't like feeling this way. " though he made an embarrassed sound. "Sore ! sore i mean sore !" he declared trying to clarify so that the other man didn't think he meant about how his heart felt broken into pieces. He gave a flustered sound as he spoke again shakily, "I'm already weak enough without being tender"

He turned his gaze back toward the man, his face a beat-red color by that point, he stared into the other man's eyes. Trying to hide the pain within his own, but it wasn't something that he could do. It glistened through the the tears that edged them. His hand felt a little numb, stinging a bit from the impact it had felt upon the other man's cheek, "There is never an easy way to let someone down. It's not at all your fault. All you've ever done is be nice to me. To try to earn my trust. It is my fault for believing that to be something it was not. My fault for believing someone could--ah." he paused to regain his composure before he continued.

"It's done. It can't be undone, I understand why it had to be the way it happened, but--" he trailed off. "It still doesn't hurt any less, but--" he paused again. " -- I trust you Vincent Miean. Not because I care for you, or because I feel the need to cling to the comfort your embrace brought me, but because you've done everything no other trainer of mine ever would have. "

He stated before his hands rose to cover his face. He leaned over his own legs a bit to hide his emotions, "I was surprised. When I saw you sitting here." he admitted. "it pained me more to see you go." he admitted. "I thought you were disgusted by my affections that you, but I did. I did have time to think and the space you gave let me do that. However, The longer you were away the more i believed you'd given up completely. I felt abandoned. Again." he stated as he sniffed a bit. "You're right. It wouldn't have. nothing could solve it right then, but--" he took in a breath, still with his hands over his face, hiding himself there.

"Others have helped me realize alot. I know this will pass, one day, but there's something I still have to say before I can begin to let it go. " he stated as he looked up to the other man finally. His cheeks moistened, "I am sorry. For everything. For hurting you, for causing problems for you, for being so foolish." he choked a small saddened laugh past his lips. "And for hurting you just now." he mentioned refering to the slap.

[Vincent Meian]

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as the older man suppressed a smile, but he managed to not add humor the situation. "I understand," he said instead, his words encompassing the full meaning of the multifaceted statement. He understood the physical pain and not wanting it to continue; he understood the emotional pain and where it came from; he understood the fear and doubt and regret. It was simply one of those moments where you simply had to be there to know what happened and how it feels.


"No, there is not," he admitted. "Though I could have been more decisive when I first suspected, I doubt the outcome would have been any less traumatic. However..." He caught the misty-eyed gaze and held it firmly. "There is no law that states that a person can never be loved. There is always someone in the world that will care, no matter what may come."


Lei then regained his composure and continued. Silent, the trainer listened to everything without interruption. He was surprised that the boy still trusted him, after all this. After all the pain and grief and heartache, he was still trustworthy in the eyes of this frightened child. There was no disgust in Vincent's face, no pity, no anger nor irony - there was sympathy, yes, and understanding, but none of those other things. He knew that what needed to be said most right this moment was nothing at all.


Only when he finished did the soldier let his smile break through. It was small, and it was more than a little sad, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Each pain you have given comes from my own actions and choices," he answered gently. "I could not have avoided harm that day because I could not allow you to harm yourself. It was my choice that caused those wounds. We both have made choices that may be unwise, but we made these choices because of who we are. If we were different people, these choices would have never been given light, let alone been made.


"I am sorry I left you alone, though I am glad that some wisdom came of it. I was never fearful of you, nor aggravated by your affections. I simply could not accept them, and you would not want one such as I to have them regardless. I have been told I am quite the terrible old man," he added lightly, remembering Min's words with a hint of amusement mixed with scorn.


"All love is foolish, and all pride is faulty. But that does not mean that we cannot try." There was a long pause, and those golden eyes seemed to laugh for the briefest flicker of a moment. "Also, your last strike did not hurt very much. It hurt far less than the knowledge of what I did to you. I think my youngest daughter could hit me harder."

[Leiken Chu]

Lei gave a weak smile, one that told of his disbelief over those words, "maybe not a law, but it is inevitable for someone like me. " he assured the other man with a shake of his head. "You had no way of knowing that you were right. " his fingers curled near his own lips. "If i had not kissed you that day it might have been worse. Who knows how much i would have felt if it had lasted longer." he murmured painfully.

Lei listened to the other male speak with equal attention, his heart ached so badly, even just being in the same room with the other man. Yet somehow, talking to him about it, made it hurt less. "We are who we are, because of that we've both endured alot of pain. Physical and otherwise." he murmuredd. his hand rubbing at his face a bit still. "I know you did theonly thing you could do, i can't fault you for that, no matter how much i wanted to hate you that day. I couldn't. " he made a small pained expression.

"The way you looked when you were holding onto me, screaming at me, trying to save me. How could i be mad at an expression like that? YOu really cared about whether i died or not. Even when I did not value my own life." he stated as he shook his head. "It's a terrifying expression, but it made me realize that you did what you did because it had to be done. Not because you wanted to hurt me."

Lei looked a little offended by those next words, "Not want you to have them? That's horrible to say. YOu're not a terrible old man at all ! you're wonderful, that's why it was so easy, so easy to care about you." he stated with a sigh. "you're not terrible vinny. You're too kind if anything. I took advantage of that kindness too much. I'm sorry." he murmured.

Though lei seemed a bit frustrated at vincent saying that his daughter could hit harder than he could. Despite all those words and all those feelings lei's pride felt a little struck, his cheeks puffed out a bit, "I could hit you harder if you really want me to. " he offered though he couldn't help but to faintly laugh over the fact. "I should have her teach me how to hit then." He stated rubbing at his own tingling had.

[Vincent Meian]

What Lei said about the kiss was true - his opinion on love was other matter. "I can only hope that you will see it for yourself, then."


Vincent nodded with his student's assessment; he would not have risked his life if he did not care. "Those who have taken lives know one of two things," he answered. "Either than all life is meaningless, or all life is sacred. Sometimes we simply know - other times it comes to us in time. I think you are still trying to understand that, and so I will do everything in my power to ensure that you will live to see that moment."


The soldier chuckled, shaking his head with that same slight smile. "Forgive me, my humor was misplaced," he replied. "You need not apologize to me - you have already done so, and I have accepted it. Or do you not recall?"


The second laugh he held back, but only just, though there was a mischievous light in his eyes at the words and the expression that accompanied them. "Maybe, or perhaps I can. Martial arts can teach amazing feats of self-control and discipline, as well as how to defend yourself without enhanced abilities. It helped me considerably as a youth." Granted, Vincent's issues were mostly anger, not depression, but it was a good idea regardless.


The trainer paused for a moment, then spoke very carefully. "I do not wish to push you to do anything you do not feel comfortable with. However, there are a few things that I must ask you despite this. Will you answer my questions?"

[Leiken Chu]

"Maybe so. " though he doubted somewhat that love would find him in all seriousness. Lei couldn't really understand the emotion, let alone meeet someone who could see past his own monsters, and the only one close to doing that was so innocent he couldn't even bring himself to be that close to her. At least not that he was aware of.

"You're right about that. " he mentioned with a saddened tone. "I don't want to cause anyone else's death. Noone should ever die because of me. When i saw your arms bruising as they were, i thought for sure that i was going to kill you, so I let it take me. I was surprised, when i woke up, in the infirmary. I had given up fighting it before that, but in my dreams. The stars and the candle light.. The frost that froze the bloody ocean. I knew they were all the people that wanted me to survive. So i had to." he stated with a soft sigh.

A certain look of determination crossed his features as he spoke, "That's why. I've decided. I WILL conquer this. I will not take failure as an option anymore. That's why i want to ask--" he paused though as the other man spoke further.

He shook his head a bit, smiling faintly, "It's refreshing. Don't apologize for humor. Without it life would be boring." he stated with a small laugh of his own. Rubbing at his own eyes slightly.

"oh? I'm not really sure what will help me at this point, but i can't give up. That is all i know for sure. I have to go on, pain inside, or not." he murmured.

"I will answer, but i'm not sure what questions there are to ask. You already know more about me than most." he noted.

[Vincent Meian]

The trainer chuckled. "Forces stronger than you have tried to kill me, Leiken," he stated ruefully. "I knew I would not die because you would not let me. I was far more worried on you giving up on yourself." He paused for a moment, wondering exactly how personal he could be at the moment, and stated regardless, "I am glad that you did not."


The question almost passed Vincent by, but he caught it somehow and locked onto it. There were a number of things Lei could ask him; what was the question this time? "If you have something to ask, please do. I cannot answer it if you do not speak it."


"That is very true." Though the taller man was not one for most types of humor, he did find many things amusing. Fewer were funny, but many things were definitely amusing. Humor was the ability to laugh at oneself and move on without hurt from the experience. It was one of the things that made human beings so... human.


He nodded to Lei's assent and assessment. "Perhaps we will try when you have fully recovered," he replied, adding, "and you have grown used to meditation." The two things were not mutually exclusive, and to still his mind in a combat situation the boy needed to be able to still his thoughts period. Meditation was a necessary stepping stone for that set of skills.


Vincent took a breath to calm himself, the let it out slowly. This would be something that could push their trust if he did not step very carefully. "My first question is regarding to our current relationship. Will you be able to keep me as your trainer, with what has passed between us?" He very carefully did not ask about anything else; his keeping of Lei as a student was the first big question he had to ask - to make sure that the boy could still trust him despite this.

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made a pained sound, his features expressing a look somewhere between comfort and discomfort, it was odd. While on the one hand knowing the other man had wanted him to live and believed he would not let him die (which was true) which made him feel happy and comforted. Then there was also the other hand which was the one that told him the other man's sweet words were what had made it so easy for him to fall for him in the first place and it was painful and uncomfortable. "You say such things and those words are both water and like nails. I am afraid my heart will begin to rust."

"O.. okay." he stated with a deep breath taken in. "Will you please, continue to train me, to make me strong--like you. Not just in my abilities, but as a person. Help me past my pain. Not with the words of a lover or the ways of one, but with those of a trainer. A deep friend. Someone I can and do trust. Please, don't abandon me, I know there is alot of work to do and little time to do it in, but no matter how long it takes. I want to be strong too." he stated as he lowered he shifted to his knees. Lowering his head to his hands as he placed them to the floor. It was awkward for him, but he wanted to show just how much his resolve was worth.

"oh. ah. okay. okay then. " he stated out one after the other. "I am trying to, meditation is difficult, with so many distractions. Inside and out life is distracting in general." he noted.

Lei's expression showed that it was a question he had not expected, his fingers curled where they rested as he lifted himself up, staring toward the other man. "I will not lie and say that the pain is forgotten or will ever be, but...someone wise once told me. That we all feel pain, but we cannot let it control us. If we do then we can never really obtain control of ourselves. " he stated giving a weak smile. His eyes seeming a little distant, glassy even, as he spoke those words. Though he turned his gaze more focused back to vincent. "So. yes. If you promise not to abandon me. And you promise to understand that I am still hurting, but it will pass. " he murmured.

"I trust you, Vinny. I wouldn't want any other trainer. Even despite what we've been through. " he extended his hand, nearly recoiling after starting to, but then his fingers carefully touched over the other man's right armm. "Just.. teach me a way to make sure this never happens again."

[Vincent Meian]

The trainer flinched slightly, glancing away for a moment in embarrassment. He had not intended that at all - he spoke honestly and very carefully to make sure he said exactly what he meant. It was not his intention to make the boy hurt. He would not lie to the boy if there was any other way, but it appeared that he needed to be even more aware of his words. "I am sorry," he murmured. "I will speak more carefully in the future."


His eyes reconnected with Lei's, and his expression softened greatly. Did this boy even know what he asked? "I will swear on my honor, Leiken Do Chu," he stated formally, speaking his thoughts clearly. "I will train you to the best of my knowledge and ability, both in the control of your powers and the understanding of your past. I may not be able to do so alone, but I will try regardless."


A slight smile touched the older man's face. "We will have to work on that." Meditation could be very difficult, but it became easier (like many things) with practice.


There was a soft smile to accompany the phrase, though the trainer did not add anything to it. It was enough to him that his lessons (and the lessons of others) stuck with this troubled youth in his time of need. It was certainly better than the alternative.


The pain in Lei's face was obvious, and with a certain gravity Vincent lifted his arm and held the boy's own in his grasp. "I understand," he answered softly. "I swear I will not leave you behind, that I will not force your hand. And I swear that I will show you every tool you need to make sure this will not happen again."

[Leiken Chu]

"A..ah never mind that. Don't change how you speak on account of me. I .. i know better now. It's just.. It's still a little fresh.. " he stated of course meaning the wound upon his heart. It would take time, but eventually it too would pass.

"I trust in your word of honor, Vincent Meian, as you are a man that lives by it's code. " he stated though moisture stung his eyes. He closed them briefly to fight back the urge to shed those tears. "Thank you. " he stated in response to the man's promises. He would believe him, it might have been dangerous to do so, but he believed in him.

"Y..yes.. I agree." he sputtered out due to a mild anxious feeling. It made him nervous in several ways.

Lei smiled faintly, that genuine smile, "I swear I will do everything possible to succeed and to make you Proud.I believe in what you say and I believe in my heart's resolve. ["please take care of me." ] he would state in that tongue he'd been familiar with in the past.

[Vincent Meian]

["I will,"] he answered in the same language. It felt even more formal slipping from his lips like that, but it was just as well. He wouldn't lie either way, and he was bound by his word. If he said it was done, than it was.


With a soft sigh, Vincent finally relaxed. This meeting had been weighing on it since before Monday, and now that it had concluded effectively he was very much relieved. There had been no screaming, few tears, and only one strike (which, frankly, he deserved). Things were going back to normal - slowly, surely, and very carefully. But at least they were going.


"There is one other thing I must ask you," he stated, releasing the boy's arm. "There are others who are concerned; those who did not become involved because they trusted in me to resolve the situation at my own pace. One of them will be a valuable resource in coping, and you will be able to speak with him about things you believe you cannot speak to me about." The trainer paused, making sure he had Lei's attention. "I would ask that you speak with him once, at least. You are under no obligation to fulfill that request, but it is a request nonetheless.


"Would you be willing to speak again with Dr. Neville?"