... What? (Charlie)

[Brendan James]

Sitting on the counter, Brendan was swinging his legs as if he were a child. “Chaaaaaarlie.” He could see the girl of course. She wasn’t more than a few feet from him. The shop had only just closed. He supposed a few things needed to be done before their fun started. “Chaaaaaarlie! Tell me a story?” There was nothing going on. He and his long time friend were the only ones in the storefront. And in case you didn’t know, if Brendan’s not constantly being entertained, he’s being annoying.

“Chaaaarlie. When can we start?” He was referring to his reason for there. DONUTS YO! Different shapes! Different flavors! He wanted to invent his own special donut that was so amazing Charlie would forever keep them in stock in the store. And then they’d become the best selling one donut. Then they’d become something of a local tradition. Before long, people would be traveling from all over the state to try it. Then the country! Then Charlie would forever be grateful to him and would never be able to not be his friend. Because the last… roughly eleven or twelve years didn’t already tell him that.

“Charlie. I’m gonna make a donut and it’s gonna be so amazing and it’s gonna make you famous! And you will forever love me. Even though you already did. But you’ll love me so much you’ll want to thank me by giving me babies! But sorry, I can’t be the father to your babies. The boyfriend might have issue with it.” Speaking of, he dug through his bag next to him on the counter to send Vin a text. Hey baby. Probably gonna be gone a while. Hanging with Charlie. Don’t get in trouble. Have Fifi keep you company. Love you <3

“Oh my god! Charlie! Come oooooon! I’m booooooooored. I wanna get my hands dirty yo!” Putting his phone back, he slide off the counter, following the girl around, poking her shoulder repeatedly. “Can we start now? Can we start now? Can we start now? Can we start now? Can we start now? Can we start now? Can we start now? What about now?”

[Charlie Saynsberry]

Charlie did her best to ignore the long, drawn-out name coming out of Brendan's mouth. It wasn't working, though; each time he did it, a snort of laughter made its way out, making it hard for her to concentrate on cleaning up the last dishes of the day. "Tell you a story?" she repeated, viciously scrubbing at a particularly stubborn spot of grease in a pan. "Once upon a time, there was a lad named Brenny. He always irritated his friends until one day Charlie had enough of it, and blew his face off with a firework. They all lived happily ever after. The end." She grinned at him, showing she was teasing, and finished cleaning the last dish. "Patience, Brenny, patience. Managing a doughnut shop isn't ALL fun and games, y'know, it requires a bit of work, too."

She deliberately took her time in putting the tools away, humming to herself as Brendan continued to chatter. "Is that so?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. "I wouldn't mind being famous. Although knowing you, you would take all the glory anyway." She burst into laughter. "Ooooh, wouldn't you like to father my children," she giggled, wiping away a tear from her eye. "So sad that you're taken. We could make beautiful, hyperactive babies together."

She turned and tugged at his dress shirt. "You look so fancy-schmancy in this shirt of yours. C'mon, take it off and relax! You know I won't judge you if you don't look absolutely top-notch for once. You're going to get dirty anyway, and it's gonna get hoooot." She winked. She herself was dressed casually as usual, spattered with a fair amount of flour and various donut condiments.

She turned back to her work and heard him slide off the table, and rolled her eyes as he began poking her repeatedly. "Good Lord, Brendan, you are such a child," she laughed, finally finished putting the supplies away. "YES! We can start now." She reached up to release her hair from the tight bun she had put it in today, sighing as the blond locks fell around her shoulders. "That's better. Now, Mr. James, where would you like to start? Maple bars? Jelly-filled? Weeeird flavors?" She let the word draw out, trying to copy his American accent. Yes, he had an accent. Everyone here did.

[Brendan James]

Brendan knew. He knew that he was being annoying. But he found it to be perfectly acceptable. Charlie was an old friend after all. After everything they’d been through together, high school (at least partially, transitioning into college, his mother’s death, …. Things that happened between them, after all that, Bren felt safe and secure in their stability as friends. So he knew he could be at least a little annoying without worry. Ok, a lot annoying.

“You know what Charlie? That story hurts. It hurts my feelings. My heart is bleeding right now. You want to blow my pretty face off with a firework. I would never do ANYTHING to destroy your pretty face. Why would you do such a thing to mine? If I lose this job at the theater, my face will HAVE to be my money maker. And you’re gonna try to destroy that. MEAN!” Of course, he was kidding. Somewhat. If he did lose his job at the theater (which was possible since nobody’s sure how Eugene puts up with Bren), he wasn’t sure what he’d do for a job.

“Well yeah, I probably would take the fame. But only some of it! I’d share the limelight with you! And our babies. I mean, because, lets be honest, our kids would be hoooot.” Brendan nodded as if he would never be so sure of anything in his life.

Frowning, a whine came from Bren. “But! I like looking all fancied!” For the moment, he left his shirt on. Because, well, he wouldn’t be him if he didn’t have a plan.

In an attempt to make up for being so horribly annoying, before they started, he decided to serenade his long time friend. Starting quietly,

“Charlie, Charlie, who can I turn to?
You give me something I can hold onto.
I know you think I’m like the other before,
Who saw your name and number on the wall.”

Bren skipped the part where the number was sung, because, well, that wasn’t Charlie’s number. Duh. However, he was dancing around the girl, unbuttoning his shirt. What? Stripping is acceptable. Plus, he was wearing a dino shirt he stole from Vin underneath.

“Charlie, Charlie, you’re the girl for me.
You don’t know me but you make me so happy.
I tried to call you before, but I lost my nerve.
I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed.”

With the last of what he was singing out, he yanked his shirt of and threw it to the ground beside him. Smiling widely, because he knew he was damn funny, he said “Weird flavors! Weird weird weird flavors!” He actually began bouncing up and down, clapping his hands together too. “Can I make dirty shaped ones too? Pleeeeease!” And he did his best to pout his lips and make sad eyes at Charlie.

[Charlie Saynsberry]

Charlie grinned at Brendan's indignation. "If it makes ya feel any better, your body is just as nice as your face. I'm sure you could make a profit off of it, even if your face got.... Damaged." She winked, flicking some water from her fingers at him. "BOOM. But really, you know I would never ever ever do that to you. And, if you ever need a job, I'm sure we could find an... Opening... For you here." She smirked and kissed his nose before turning to finish cleaning. If any of her friends found themselves in desperate need of a job, she would be more than happy to throw them on board The Holey Place. The students she often employed never stayed for too long anyway.

"Our famous babies would be the hottest," she agreed, totally serious. "Damn you being in a relationship, Brendan James. We could make millions with our children." She sighed melodramatically, clutching at her chest with a wet hand from washing. She realized her mistake, then cursed as she realized she had left a wet handprint on her shirt. "Now look what you made me do," she sighed. "You got me all wet." She held back a snicker as she continued cleaning.

She bit her lip as he started to sing, determined not to snort at his ridiculousness. Crossing her arms, she stood as he danced around her, shaking from holding back her mirth. This was why she and Brendan were friends; they complimented each other so well, could do ridiculous things around each other, even flirt with each other without worrying about developing true 'feelings' for each other. It was all just fun and games, and even though they had done... Things... In the past, they were still the best of best friends. She didn't know what she would do without him.

.... Probably a lot less dumb things. But still. "You know I love it when you sing to me," she sighed dreamily, clasping her hands together and fluttering her eyelashes at him. "You're so romantic."

"Oooh baby," she giggled as he threw his shirt on the ground. "Don't blame me if that thing is covered in flour now. It's your own fault for being so dramatic." She tapped her chin, contemplating on how to begin. "Weird flavors it is. In dirty shapes. Yes, I think so. Y'know, there's this donut shop in Oregon that has a donut called the Cock'n'Balls. They actually sell them there. People buy them. It's fantastic." She began pulling ingredients and supplies from shelves, tossing some things to Brendan as she did so. "What kiiiiind of weird flavors?" she asked, motioning towards a huge shelf full of different flavoring ingredients. "We have dozens to mix together."

[Brendan James]

“Well duuuuh my body is hot. I mean, how could it not be? Working out twice a week and near constant sex. I have to eat like a cow just so I don’t drop twenty pounds yo! These young kids and their sexual energy. It would be exhausting if it weren’t fantastic!” This was something that he more freely discussed with Charlie. Eugene would surely drop dead on the spot. And… It’d always been a little difficult to discuss things of this nature with Chloe. For him at least. “An opening you say?” And he waggled his eyebrows at her. “I like the sound of that.” He said with a laugh.

Smiling deviously, he swooped in next to Charlie, his arm sliding around her waist. “Oh baby. If Vincent and I ever break up, you are number one on my list.” Which, he took as a compliment. However, being somebody’s number one on their back up list wasn’t exactly the greatest thing. “Well hot damn! I didn’t even do nothing.” He said, smiling as if he were just crowned king of the world. “Now don’t tell anybody that though. Otherwise girls will be chasing me everywhere. And Vin’s the jealous type.”

“Oh I’m well aware of what my singing does to you love.” He said with a smile as he finished his song. It wasn’t something he did often, singing, but he did it well. “Junk yeah I’m romantic! Now how ‘bout you let me cop a feel for such a romantic!” Of course, he was kidding. Mostly. Because if she let him… Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Though, I can’t imagine it’d be more than a swat to the rear.

Eyes wide, Brendan’s hand snatched up his shirt. And sure enough, flour, his new enemy, had made it’s way onto it. “Damn it all to hell.” He said with a pout on his lips. “I’ll have to take it to the cleaners on my way home.” Most would’ve waited until they had more dirty clothes to take, but Brendan treated his clothes like pets (and his pet like his child), he’d have them better in no time! And he would’ve sulked a little more, but there was fun to be had.

“Yeeeah! I did know that! That’s sooo… Just great!” It took a minute for him to think. He wanted something good, obviously. And wonderful. So all his favorite flavors seemed like a fantastic idea. “How about…. Chocolate… And coconut…. Aaaand is there a way to get some mint action in there too? I think chocolate batter with coconut in it. And mint icing.”

Of course, not his mind was running wild. “Oh! Boobie shapes!” Because that seemed the easiest shape to him. “Oh oh oh oh! What about! Toothpaste flavored! You can make it a gag donut! People buy it for their friends! OH!!! BETTER! Make it a pumpkin ‘cream filled’ donut, but the filling is toothpaste!”

[Charlie Saynsberry]

She just rolled her eyes at his rambling, and snorted. "Are you ever not thinking about sex?" she asked him, rhetorically. She really already knew the answer to that. But she knew he would answer anyway.

She laughed at his grabbing. "Stoppit, that tickles!" she giggled, swiping at his hands. "Gerroff me, you ponce. I don't like being second in line, you know. I have plenty of men and women to keep me busy, so if you do ever break up with that boyfriend of yours, you'll have to get in line." She stuck out her tongue and wiggled her eyebrows. "Although I might let you cut a few. I've had a couple bad experiences that I would rather not repeat."

She considered his proposition, then shrugged. "I do have a soft spot for men that sing to me. An' it's not like no one has ever copped a feel before. Including you," she snickered. "My body is yours," she sighed dramatically, doing a little spin before coming to a stop and giving him a look. "But you might want to ask Vinnie for permission first." She was such a terrible person. But it was all in good fun, right?

"Chocolate and coconut and mint all in one? My, aren't you the risk taker?" she laughed. "Sounds good to me!" Before she could reach for the ingredients, she snickered at his next suggestion. "Brenny, I love it. You'd be amazing working here. Although you might scare all of my customers away." She began piling different tools and ingredients on the counter, thinking. "We might need a model to make sure they look accurate though," she said, snickering again.

She poured the dry ingredients into a bowl, subtly flicking some flour in Brendan's direction. "Want to add the chocolate?" she asked, motioning towards the cocoa. She pulled out a tub with coconut pieces, ready to be used once the chocolate part of the process was complete.

[Brendan James]

“Charlie. Have you seen my boyfriend? Why on god’s green earth would I ever think about anything BUT sex?” He didn’t feel the need to mention that he’d acquired another sleeping partner. That was still new after all. And how was he supposed to explain that? “Dude, even forget Vin. But me! How am I supposed to look in the mirror without getting turned on?”

Brendan dropped his hands, like the good boy he could sometimes be and smiled at his friend. “Hey now! I thought you were hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with me! Didn’t you once say that second choice for me was better than first choice for any other?” His lips pouted at her and he looked at Charlie through his lashes. Of course, he knew she had never said any of those things. This was just him being ridiculous. But is anybody surprised by that? “Babe, anybody you don’t want, comes sniffin’ ‘round for seconds, just tell me. I’ll take care of them.” He said, striking a bodybuilder pose. Scrawny Bren, trying to flex his muscles.

“Oh baaaby!” He said when Charlie said her body was his. Then his arms wrapped around her waist and he dipped her as if they’d been doing the tango. “Mi amor.” He smirked, saying the only Italian he knew. At least he was pretty sure it was Italian. He knew it translated to ‘my love’ though. “I’m sure Vin will be alright. He’s a big boy.” But instead of going further, he stood his friend back up, a smile on his face.

“Yeeeah buddy! Go big or go home biznitch!” He laughed at himself because he found himself to be hilarious. “Seriously though. You gotta bring something different to the table! How else you gonna get on one of those awesome food shows, right?” The fact that she thought he’d scare away customers was ridiculous to him. “Whaaat?! Nu uh! I’d attract them! I’m so hot, they’d be FLOCKING to get here!” A devious smirk smear on his face. “Why? You volunteering?”

Hurrying after her, Bren nodded excitedly. “Hell yeah I do!” Excited, he took the cocoa powder. After pouring a bit in, because he wasn’t sure how much to put, he poured some into his hand to inspect it. He knew better than to taste it. So with that knowledge, he instead smeared it on Charlie’s face. "HA!"

[Charlie Saynsberry]

"Yes yes, I've seen Vinnie, he is a hot piece of ass and all that," she replied, waving a hand at him. His next comment had her snorting. "Well, that's understandable. I mean, you're turning me on just standing there, looking all handsome in your dinosaur shirt. Stop it!" She stuck her tongue out at him, poking him several times in the chest and stomach before bringing her hands back to her hips, giggling.

"Did I say that?" Charlie asked, pretending to ponder the question. "Huh, I can't recall. You know I love you, regardless of whether or not you're letting me have sex with you. But hey, I get a lot of action, you know. Just because I'm not in a serious relationship doesn't mean I'm not having fun. D'ya know Lucas Maddox?" She didn't know if he did or not, she wasn't sure why he would. "Well anyway, he shows up in the shop every once in a while. Doesn't like clothes. I don't mind. He has the most amazing ass I've ever seen." She winked at him, letting him connect the dots. "You don't need to worry about taking care of him. We've got it good." She still laughed at his pose, though. "But I'll let you know if and when I need your super huge muscles."

She swung into the dip with ease, quite used to Bren and his antics. "You're right, Vinnie is a big boy," she agreed, pretending to go in for a heavy make-out before feigning to the left and giving him a friendly nuzzle on the jawline. "But I know how loyal you are to each other. I think it's adorable." Loyalty wasn't exactly her thing. She was loyal to friends, but to romantic relationships? She'd rather just have several sources she could go to depending on what sort of mood she was in. She would probably need to settle eventually, but it worked for her for now.

"Okay, okay, okay," she laughed, grinning at his enthusiasm. "It has been a while since I came out with a new flavor. Who knows? Maybe this will be a huge hit! I'll let you know, and you can come and attract all the customers with your good looks and good tastes. I'll never be able to repay you!" Continuing to snicker, she raised her eyebrows and popped her chest out a little. "Maaaybe. If you need help remembering. I've been wondering, Brendan, don't you miss boobs?" She was quite certain her friend had been straight until meeting Vin, and she wondered how he put up with his partner's lack of female mammary glands. It was a legit question! She didn't know about Fifi.

She watched as he poured the ingredient in, nodding when it looked about right. What she didn't anticipate was him pouring some into his hand, hesitating, and then smearing it in her face! "Pfthhhh- BREN!" she exclaimed, spitting a little to try to get the cocoa off from around her mouth. "You jerk!" Her now brown-colored mouth broke into a wide grin, and she grabbed the nearest dry ingredient - in this case, the flour - and proceeded to take a handful and throw it at his hair. Most of it landed on top of his head, but some of it settled onto his face as well. Charlie snorted, holding her hands against her chest as she laughed. "You look like you've been using drugs," she giggled.

[Brendan James]

“Oh yes he is.” Brendan said with a smirk. “And he’s aaaall mine. So hands off missy!” Granted, Charlie was his long time friend, so he knew nothing would happen between the two. Neither of them would allow it. But he liked to remind people occasionally of his claim on the younger man. At each poke, Bren flinched. Not they were particularly hard or hurtful, but because he loves dramatics. “Hey hey hey! I bruise like a peach! I am a delicate flower! And telling me to stop turning people on is like telling the sun to stop shining.” He said with a confident, if not cocky, smirk on his face.

Nodding vehemently, Bren assured one of his oldest friends that, yes, she had indeed said the things that she never actually said. “Yes, yes you did. And you break my heart that you don’t recall. Here I was, coming to terms with the fact that you and I belong with each other. And you don’t even remember being in love with me. Do you know how much that hurts my heart? My heart is bleeeeeeeeding!” Wow. That’s even a little overly dramatic for Bren. “Lucas Maddox? Jesus. That name kinda makes him sound like a douche.” Cue his gasp and wrinkled nose in disgust. “Excuse me?! My ass SUPERB! What- How-… Ugh. Charlie. You know what? Your boobies aren’t all that great! So there!” He said sticking his tongue out at her.

When Charlie spoke of the loyalty between Brendan and Vin, the man almost looked bashful. A little blush on his cheeks and small, sincere smile. It was unlike all his big, over the top smiles. “Yeah… He’s kind of… Really wonderful. And perfect. And… Yeah. I’m really lucky.” Bren could say these things to Vincent until the cows came home. But it was an entirely different thing to tell a third party. It was to him at least.

“Hell yeah I will! This Lucas Maddox guy can kiss my ass! I’m where the good looks are at!” What? There was nothing wrong with having confidence in himself and his looks. Even if he’d never seen or heard of this guy before now. And his eyes went immediately to her chest, not even bothering to hide his blatant staring. Charlie should be used to it by now. And besides, he’d been lying before. Her boobs were great. But, even if they weren’t, they’d still be awesome. Because they’d be boobs. “Actually, I remember boobs perfectly. But thank you for your concern.” There was no need to fill her in just yet on the situation between himself, Vincent, and Fifi. Hell, the three of them didn’t even know what it was. He wanted to figure it out between them first.

Ok. So… Brendan thought he was HILARIOUS! And it was obvious he thought so because he was laughing himself to the verge of tears. Until flour was in his hair. Forget that it was on his face. “Noooo! You got it in my hair! Ugh! That’s gonna be a bitch to get oooout!” he whined, his cocoa covered hands going to try and brush it out. “Yeah?! Well! You look like you face planted in dried shit! So there!” Whipping his head around, Bren spied some icing. “HA!” And he snatched it up, looking at Charlie with a face of pure menace.

[Charlie Saynsberry]

Charlie laughed and held up her hands. "He's all yours, babe," she chuckled. He was so possessive. Silly man. Vin was hot, but not really her type. "You are so not a delicate flower," she argued, poking him harder. "I've seen your abs." She simply snorted at his sun comment - ah, that was sort of true, at least in her case. He was gorgeous, there was no denying it.

His continuing antics just made her laugh harder, until her arm was resting on the counter as she nearly doubled over from giggling. "Ooooh, your poor heart," she sighed, wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry Brenny, but you're just going to have to deal with the fact that we're not meant for each other~!" She smirked at his reaction to Lucas, letting out a snort and stepping closer so she could give his butt a tap as she walked by to get some more supplies. "Oh don't worry, Bren, I didn't say yours wasn't supe-" Now it was her turn to gasp. "You little jerk! My boobs are fantastic." Ah, the conversations between friends.

She gave him a more genuine smile as he talked about his and Vin's relationship. "You are too fucking adorable," she told him, patting his blushing cheek affectionately.

His continuing comments about Lucas just made her shake her head with another chuckle. "Whatever you say, babe," she replied. His staring didn't bother her at all, of course - she had no shame, especially with him. "Oh, good," she replied cheekily. "I wouldn't want to have to remind you." She shot him a wink before turning back to the task at hand.

Charlie burst out into laughter at his reaction to the flour. "Oh, don't worry, it'll wash out easily enough," she chided, continuing to wipe at her mouth. Blech, cocoa wasn't nearly as good by itself. "Oh, shut up!" she snapped playfully, sticking her tongue out at him. Her eyes widened as he grabbed the icing, and she let out a screech, reaching for the nearest object she could find - vegetable oil. "Don't you dare, Brendan James!" she told him, holding the bottle out, open and ready to squirt.

[Brendan James]

“Oh, I’m aware he’s all mine. He could never find anybody to do all the ridiculous and foolish things that I do with him.” Brendan said with a chuckle, even though he knew it was true. “And please, have you seen this ass?” The older man turned around, lifting his shirt a bit so that she could check it out. “God himself carved this ass from marble and blessed it himself!” Whoever said confidence was a good thing clearly never met Bren. Then again, that’s a bit more than confidence right there. “He’d be a fool to leave it for somebody else’s.”

Pouting at her, Brendan nodded. “My poor little heart indeed! I mean, how am I supposed to go out in public now? I mean, I’ve been telling eeeeverybody we’d be getting a home together, married, and I’d have you pregnant within the year! How am I supposed to face all those people now?” He waved his arm about, as if this were something of a real concern. Bren’s entire body shook with laughter. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head. Your boobs are fan-damn-tastic.”

“I believe you mispronounces the word ‘insanely hot’. Strange. But I’ll forgive you.” He said with a small laugh, truly believing the word ‘adorable’ should be used to describe little kids and small animals.

Brendan began shaking his head immediately and almost violently. “Oh no no no! I mean… Um… I don’t remember. You should most definitely remind me. Come on then. Shirt up. Let’s have a peek.”

“Nu uh! Doesn’t flour get thick when there’s water mixed in? It’ll be ridiculous trying to get it out.” He said, his voice thick with a whine. Bren was just glad he’d taken off his nicer clothes. The oil would stain them and that would put an end to their games because he would NOT let his clothes be ruined. However, since he’d taken those off and was in Vin’s shirt, he lunged at her, squeezing the bag hard and aiming it at her face. While screeching a battle cry. “AHHHHHHHHH!”

[Charlie Saynsberry]

Charlie literally facepalmed as Brendan lifted up the back of his shirt. "I have seen it, Brenny. You know I have." She smirked, adding,"I've fondled it, too. It's definitely one of the finer ones I have come across in my life." Oh, Bren. Why was she encouraging this?

She shook her head as he went off on a ramble, biting her lip with raised eyebrows as she watched him and tried to contain her laughter. "You should have asked me before telling everyone, love!" she exclaimed. "I'm not planning on getting married or pregnant any time soon, thank you very much. I'd like to keep my figure for as long as I can." She wasn't even sure if she wanted kids. She liked just messing around with people and didn't want to have to deal with screaming, crying, pooping babies. Ew. No. Charlie simply smirked at his compliment.

"Oh, damn, I suppose I did," she sighed dramatically. "Forgive me." Hah.

"Noooope!" Charlie told him, shooting a look over her shoulder as he spoke. "You already bashed them earlier. Now I'm all self-conscious about them. I'm not letting you make fun of my boobs any more." She was shaking from trying to hold back her laughter, and still let out a small giggle.

"Eh... Maybe. Not really my problem." She wasn't too worried about Brendan's hair. He would find some way to clean it all out. "Brendan, don't you da-!" But it was too late, he was already coming at her yelling something awful, and she screamed in reply, flinching back and closing her eyes as she aimed her own 'weapon' and squirted the vegetable oil at him. Hopefully she didn't get anything in his eyes, but she was too busy freaking out at the feeling of icing dripping down her face and on her shirt. "Fuck you Brendan!" she screeched, practically emptying the contents of her bottle onto him. "Fuck. You!" Ewww, it felt so nasty.