Wow!This Hurts (Open)

[Zander Grey]

Zander's head was killing him, it was hurting him so badly that he had to separate himself from the rest of the school. He laid in the training room with the lights off and all the doors shut. Eyes stared up at the ceiling as he tried to concentrate on keeping the voices out of his head. He thought that after 11 years of training , he would gotten better control of himself, yet here he is almost in tears from the pain radiating inside his head.

He wasn't sure if it was conventional for teachers to use the training rooms, but at that moment he didn't care. He hadn't felt this much pain in a long time. A very long time. If he was at home he would of grabbed a bottle of vodka or whiskey laid in bed and drink himself into silence. But he was at school , and could risk driving home and crashing into a tree because of his pain.

Also he didn't want to seem like the one teacher who couldn't hold it together. He was supposed to be Mr. Grey! Confident, funny and talkative, not a whiny baby who wants to cry at night when his head hurts. It would be even worse though if someone came in to find him there lying on the ground.

He had to get up and go back to his classroom. He needed to get out of the way of the students. But the training room was meant to keep control of powers, and the block from the rest of the school was a blessing Zander could not let go just yet.

Besides, how bad could it be if someone found him?

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken's heart raced in his chest, his was consumed by a string of thoughts that rammed themselves inside of the small space making him want to implode, he needed somewhere to be alone. He needed to practice his training. Something, anything, to get his mind off of everything.

Leiken hoped to get some extra training in while his trainer was not there, before he would meet the man again, so that he could show that he could learn just the same as anyone else. Though it was not an easy task for leiken of all people.

Right then he wished he were old enough to drink so that he could drink himself unconscious, but even that would not solve his problems. Leiken had built up a rather absurd amount of problems in those last few days. It was amazing he was even capable of holding himself together this much.

Leiken pushed open the doors to this particular training room. Slipping inside the dark room, trying to be quiet so noone would bother in by following him or peeking into the room to see what he was doing, he closed the doors behind him and let out a long exhaled breath. The room was dark, he couldn't really see well just yet, but it was fine with him really. He didn't need to see perfectly he just needed to relax.

His thoughts were a mess of worries, problems, racing within his head. What was he going to do ? What if he had hurt Tak's unborn child by mistake? what if he had killed it? What if lucy told everyone what she thought she'd seen between him and vincent? What if vincent found out the things he was feeling toward him? What if he lost control of his powers again and got into another fight? What if Tak broke her promise and told someone about his abilities?

Leiken's head pounded with the pain of his own ability, though it didn't sting as badly as the bruising on his hand, it was already starting to swell and it was difficult to move his fingers. Maybe if he kept injuring himself like he did in the past it would stop it from happening so much. Leiken stumbled through the dark room, trying to find the center of the room, so he could just sit and relax.

However, he had no idea that another was there due to his own thought-drowned daze until he tripped on the lump in the floor. Falling rather ungracefully onto the floor half ontop of the lump he'd tripped upon. "Son of a bitch!" he declared not thinking anyone else was there but that merely someone had left something in the floor.

[Zander Grey]

Zander was finally about to calm down, drifting off to that sleep like state that all people got after a big migraine. The silence was just coming to him and he felt the world slip away. And then he felt the wave.

Thoughts came to Zander in a different way then most. When he was trying to hold them back it was like the tides crashing softly against his brain. Just a pushing motion that kept him on the edge of pain. But this was a huge wave of thoughts just coming to him in a screaming mass of hurt.

His eye opened and he clenched his teeth a straggled sound coming out of his mouth. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. his mind filled with the thoughts of one person. And they were not good. Every word was like another knife through Zander's head. He felt like he was going to be ill, the sickness growing in him and threatening to overflow.

He heard someone enter the room and the wave surrounded his mind. It swallowed him whole and drowned him in the thoughts of other. He cried out as someone tripped over him. With all the strength he had left in his mind he pushed far enough above the wave to think on his own.

"Shut up!" Zander screamed clutching his head. He would feel bad about yelling later in the future but all he could feel was the pain in his head.

"Lord help you if you don't get out of my head! " He tried to get up off the floor but didn't even make it past his knees. He fell back down onto the ground and curled himself into a ball. He let the tears fall freely now, it hurt to much to care.

"I swear to you if you don't shut up I will be forced to knock you out and hide the body, and I don't want that. First you have find a place then a shovel and Sheldon hates late nights." The pain was making him scatterbrained and loopy, but he couldn't care at the moment.

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken winced, pain striking through his body which only continued to makes his mind a blurr, his hands pressed to the lump of whatever beneath him as he tried to raise himself back upright from his fall. Though he could only do so properly with one hand. His other having been injured rather badly earlier in the day.

Leiken jolted slightly, startled, both by the fact that the lump beneath him was moving with the breath's of life. Rising and falling as it was the man's chest, but as well because the other man had told him to shut up. "Who the hell do you think you are?!" he exclaimed. "Hiding in the dark and giving people fucking heart attacks then telling them to shut up !" he stated but his hands raised to grip his own head. His abilities trying to pull at the presence of the other man's blood.

If it did so it would slow it's flow merely because that was what leiken's own body needed. A slower, more relaxed, pulse. It was merely an effect that his ability radiated such things due to his lack of control. "What the fuck are you talking a bout?! I'm not in your head. I'm right next to you, jackass." he stated Though leiken's eyes having now adjusted to the dark noticed the older man curled into a ball on the floor.

His thoughts seemed shift from his own problems to a concern for why a grown man was curled up on the floor crying his eyes out. "Sheldon?" he stated with an obvious look of 'wtf' written upon his features. His own head throbbed with a headache that felt like a thousand needles stinging all at once.

"Tch. I'd love to see you try though. You don't look like you could do much of anything, cry baby." he stated firmly.

[Zander Grey]

Zander was pissed. Really pissed.

He couldn't remember being this angry since he put that kid in the hospital in middle school. That had been the worst day of his life, but this encounter was closely coming in second. And he was about to lose his mind, or what was left of it.

"You want to know who the fuck I am you little ass hole?" he screamed "I am Zander Grey , a fucking teacher here at Hammel! So I can do whatever I want , and if that means I have to punch some stupid snot nose brat I will."

With anger came strength as Zander started to get off the floor. The rage and pain written all over his face and he got to his feet.

"You call me a crybaby you punk?" Zander scoffed "Your too chicken to even look at yourself in the mirror and see your powers stare back! You scared of people knowing , you baby" Zander hissed grabbing the boys shirt and pulling him forward.

"You wanna drink the pain away? Well don't we all wanna drink it all away? You think I like being a telepathy? Hearing all your little childish problems all the time? No I don't! So Shut your fucking face and get the hell out of here or I swear You will regret it.

[Leiken Chu]

"Please do try ! I'll freakin' kick your face in you old fart!" he exclaimed at the man in an angered tone. His thoughts going wild once again. His abilities drawing to surface the more the other man threatened and yelled at him. This was not the peace of mind he'd hoped to achieve by coming to that very room.

Who does this asshole think he is? Threatening me like that! I don't give a flying rats ass if he is a teacher i'll punch him in the damn throat if he keeps on ! No god dammit why am i so angry! he's just some butt-hurt old geezer who probably can't get laid. Calm down lei before you do something stupid. Calm down. breathe. focus on your breaths. Do as vinny said. control it fight it. you can do this. he thought to himself as his hand raised to grip at his head. Trying to calm himself down.

Though as the other man stood he looked toward him out of defensive reflex. Though his face reflected the pain of the other man's words. How the hell did he know all of that? he started to stand only to be yanked up by his shirt. The man's words echoed in his head like painful spoons carving out his soul. The imagery of a bloody corpse beneath him filled his mind as the anger swelled within him. Before he even realized it his face was streamed with tears of his own.

His teeth clenched, however, when he did realize this. Oh hell no! "Fuck you! You're the adult and you're acting like a fucking todler ! Some example you are you pathetic excuse for a teacher ! Laying here in the middle of the floor rolling around and crying because you're not man enough to fucking suck it up! " his hands grasped upon the older man shirt. shoving at him with a much weaker strength. Though his abilities were beyond control. Blood ran from his own nose as he glared daggers up at the older man. gripping at the collar of the man's shirt.

"LISTEN HERE YOU WRINKLY BALLED OLD FAG. DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING THREATEN ME" he exclaimed as loudly as he could to the man before drawing a much darker expression. His voice shaken by his own tears, "You should be the one running. " Lei huffed out at the man as he could feel his own ability's trying to force that man's blood to to exit his body in whatever way it could find to leave the easiest. Stop it. Stop it! Why can't i stop it?! Breathe lei breathe. Don't let him become another mark toward losing your humanity. he's not worth it. he's not ! he kept trying to tell himself but to no avail.

[Zander Grey]

Zander let the kid go and tilted his head to the side as he listened to the chaotic thoughts. The boy was unstable and it was worrying. Like a blink of an eye the childish Zander had dissapeared and teacher Zander was in the house.

"Hey Kid stop thinking so hard, your only hurting yourself." Zander pulled out a hanker chef out of his pocket and pressed it against his nose. That was the problem when it came to Zander, his moods ran around in circles like a crazy person.

"It's easier to keep it in if you think of something that makes you happy. Like that boy you have feelings for? I don't mean to give you some crap advice because I'm a communication's teacher I know how much of it is bullshit, but even if you can't talk about your feelings, if you could use them to your advantage then do it. Else you end up like me, an asshole teacher who can't keep his shit together."

Zander rubbed his temples in a soothing motion. "Your right I'm not worth , if you were gonna use that power of yours Hitler would be a good one."

Zander wasn't happy about not being angry , but he had that instinct in him to care for the kids, even the butthead ones like this one.

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken stared at the man, confused utterly, completely and most importantly furious. The other man had made him cry, he'd spoken truths about leiken that leiken didn't even want to admit himself, but most of all he'd made him cry. Crying was something that leiken had avoided at all costs, but thus far this was the second person that had made him do so since transfering to hammel.

Leiken seemed startled when the other man put the handkerchief to his nose like he was some sort of relative to him. What the hell?! Leiken thought to himself. This guy is nuttier than a zombie mr. peanut's bowel movements. Or so it seemed to Leiken anyway. One minute the man was wishing death upon him and pulling his own secrets out of his head, which leiken was horrified over, and the next he was brother of the year.

When the other man told him it was easier to keep it in if he thought of something that made him happy he nearly snorted. It was both cliche and uneffective. At least to leiken it had been. however, it was when he told him to think of 'that boy' that he liked leiken's face held a horrified expression. For a moment the image of vincent and the fantasies he had for the man filled his mind,"S-shut up ! You don't know anything ! What are you!? Insane?! " he exclaimed at the man.

Don't think about him, don't think about him, he'll know !DOn't think about him! lei thought while wiping the image and thoughts of vincent from his mind as much as he could. The last thing he needed was for anyone to know that he was developing -something- for his own trainer. As misdirected as those feelings were they were still private.

"Get out of my head!" he screamed at the man. shoving away from him as quickly as he could, stumbling back, tripping back to the floor. he hit the floor rather hard due to his clumsiness and for a moment his mind went blanket. The daze the fall had caused him had given him a moment's peace. From the feel of his own ability attacking the other man's blood to the thoughts of vincent and of his own self hate. He wondered if that sensation was what his trainer was trying to achieve in teaching him how to meditate.

[Zander Grey]

Zander let out a disappointed sigh as he watched the boy fall back . He moved over to look down at the boy who had hit his head. He moved till he sat off to the side of the boy on the ground.

"Stop being defensive about it. The thoughts , the feelings they are not going away. Even if you want them to." He looked up at the ceiling with a sigh

"Have you ever tried being in a relationship with someone when you can hear every thought that runs through there mind? It's not easy. There was once a boy, I thought that we could make it, you know really make it, but he couldn't handle the idea of being that close to me."

He looked back down at the boy and gave him a small smile "I used to hold that feeling for the boy inside and pretend it didn't exist, but then my ..." He tried to find the right word on how to describe is mentor " teacher taught me that you could use your feelings as a guide. "

Zander tilited his head once more. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, hell I don't give a care. But I'd rather your not bleed out okay? "

[Leiken Chu]

Lei felt his head swimming, between emotions, between thoughts. He breathed out a shaken tone. laying there on the floor still. he didn't want to move, afraid that if he did he'd attack the man, and this time lose all control. He couldn't let that happen. not again. it had already happened too much since he'd arrived.

"They will go away. " he stated in a shaken tone. Though Lei drew a sad expression to the man's words. "I do not know what that could be like, but I do know what it is like to think that way and find out could never be." he stated dryly. Lei stared up at the ceiling, watching it as it nearly spun above him due to his dizziness, but he sighed heavily.

"It's because there would be an expectation of trust. That person would have to trust you completely to accept being around you, because there would be no secret that they could keep form you. So they would have to trust that you could know everything, handle it, and not abuse it or take advantage of that." he stated with a slight shaken tone.

"I am not even a telepath, but I know that much. " he stated with a pained sound. "For me, it's pointless, i have no control over anything my abilities do. When people touch me. They get hurt. When people make love to me they leave with bruises and fear. Noone can trust me to fall in love with me so I cannot trust any of them to be more than a piece of ass. Pathetic huh? I don't even know why i'm telling you this. " he stated with an irritated tone.

"My trainer would never teach me to use those feelings as a guide. My feelings cannot be returned and i am sure of that; he has a family. It's pointless to feel the way i do." he stated shifting to roll to his side on the floor for a moment before pushing himself to sit up.

"Tch. You couldn't tell me what to do even if you wanted to.I wouldn't listen anyway." he assured the man. his un-injured hand rubbing at his face. "You should be more worried about yourself. Idiot. Raising my emotions like that without knowing how to control someone like me. you'll get yourself killed. " he stated almost sadly as he wiped his face on his sleeve.

Standing to his feet at last he glared toward the man, "You're a jackass. Just so you know." A cute jackass, but still a jackass. he thought to himself forgetting that the other man could hear his thoughts. "So much for practicing." he noted to the man.

Though a moment later he sighed, "Why did you tell me about your past partner? Now i just feel sorry for your ass." he stated placing a hand on his hip as he shook his head. Though he wasn't really one to talk given the mess that he was himself.

[Zander Grey]

Zander laughed, he laughed in a light hearted way that he hadn't heard from himself in a long time. He fell back on the ground and stared up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. His laughter wasn't because he was laughing at the boy but more like he was laughing at himself.

"Thanks for the compliment" He grinned but it slowly died down to just a smile. He heard plenty of compliments in the day, he wasn't someone to say that he wasn't attractive. He knew he was good looking, but he knew that he wasn't going to find anyone at Hammel who could handle being with him.

"I told you because I felt like it. Because your right , trust is a major part in a relationship. I gave him everything you see, the stars the sky the moon and the sun, but it wasn't enough to keep him to me." Zander thought back to his teenage years.

"He was older then me , by 3 years. Not that big of a difference but when your 17 people seem to think you don't know what's right and whats wrong. But I did, so I went for it. "

Zander sat up and looked down at his hands clenching them tightly then opening them "it was the longest relationship I had every been in , 3 whole months. He didn't trust me and I became a cynical person who only has one night stands."

Zander looked at the boy once more " I don't wish that on anyone, so I tell you so you can find someone to trust."

Zander laid back down on the ground smile no longer on his face "I'm not afraid of you , or your powers. Wanna know why? It's because if you kill me, what do I have left to lose. To qoute Julius Caesar '“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once. '" And I am that coward who has already tasted death. "

[Leiken Chu]

Lei's face drew a red color to the other man's statement, "Fuck! Do you know how frustrating that is?" he stated of course meaning the fact that there wasn't a thought he could have in his head without that man hearing it.

He seemed somewhat saddened by the thought of giving someone everything then having them turn around and leave you. Oh wait...Lei became verbally quiet. The image the man lost because of his own hand flooding his mind. Hearing his voice speaking those words of betrayal. he shook his head a bita s if he were trying to clear his thoughts.

"People think that about me alot because of my age as well. I know what's right. I know what's wrong. Sometimes i cannot control either, but sometimes i don't want to. " he stated idly. For a moment again forgetting that the other man could read those thoughts. His mind went back to the kiss he'd givien his trainer. The feel of the other man's arms around him had been so comforting. Lei touched his own lips slightly at the memory.

"Story of my life. " he murmured. Despite his younger age he'd had more one night stands than he cared to admit. Most of the time he was safe about it.

He looekd toward zander as he laid on the laid there for the time being. "maybe, it's just hard to trust someone and risk it all and lose everything to realize that you've gained nothing all along since you're right back where you started. Alone."

"That's rather depressing. " He stated to the other man before he shifted where he laid. turning over to crawl toward the man. Staring down to him, "You could be the next stephanie meyer if you keep talking like that." he taunted the man.

[Zander Grey]

Zander made a face , scrunching his nose and a frown on his face. "I may be attracted to men, but I could never be that gay"

He kept his gaze staring at the ceiling as he thought some to himself, or at least tried to. It was hard for him to wad through what thoughts was his and what thoughts were others.

"I am quite the depressing person, at least Sheldon thinks I am. Well I can't really read Sheldon's thoughts but if I could I know they would read that I was depressing. I blame it on the television, and booze...lots of booze"

Zander knew he was rambling, but he didn't care he liked to talk, that's why he got his degree in communications. He didn't keep his thoughts to himself, he spoke them out loud and proud. So if he was thinking about a purple turtle eating tacos with a dog then he would tell someone.

"I'm only 25, it's not like I'm old, but I swear people think I'm 12 again." He scoffed. "I'm not about to treat you as a child , like they used to treat me . Your a big boy you can handle your shit."

Zander turned to look at him "I'm just here to tell you the answers to the universe, and life. Which is 42 if you didn't know."

[Leiken Chu]

Raised a brow to the other male's statement, the words the other male spoke came across as jibberish to him in a sense, "How do you mean?" he stated with confusion written clearly upon his face. "You don't have to be gay you know. There's always bisexual and whatever else they come up with these days. Sexuality isn't as black and white as it used to be. " he chuckled a bit. "Though i'm curious still as how you mean you are attracted to men, but wouldn't be gay. " he noted.

"Who is sheldon? Lots of booze. Do share." he suggested though he doubted the man would. He didn't come off as someone he could sneak a drink with. "Most teachers around here -are- old. You being only 25 comes as a shock to me. I thought you were just really good looking in your old age. Now you're just really good lookin'" he stated with a laugh.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Plus i'd have to punch you in the throat if you did." he stated plainly.

"I already knew that." he stated leaning over the man, raising a hand to touch a fingertip to his forehead, prodding at it as if he were trying to push some invisible horn back into his forehead. "I think your brain needs to be pushed back in there." he mentioned though there may have been a slight tingling sensation from his touch due to his ability pulling at the blood within the skin's surface.

[Zander Grey]

Zander laughed once again."I meant that twilight was so gay that you would have to be gay-er then gay to be like it." He grinned and closed his eyes while thinking again "I'm bisexual, that's how I can be attracted to males. "

He opened his eyes and grinned at the boy. "I like all these compliments your giving me, it's nice to hear them out loud and not in my head. I think I may be one of the youngest teachers here because I came back here at my failed attempt at going back home. Which I guess is pretty bad cause that means the teachers that taught me are still here. Thus meaning I get in trouble a lot."

Zander frowned slightly and shook his head. "I can't give you booze, were at school, it's all at home because apparently it's frowned upon to drink whiskey at school. You do it one time and everyone watches you like your a baby kicker for the rest of your life.Besides you can never drink without Sheldon. Sheldon is my turtle, I've had him for about 7 years."

Zander rubbed at the spot on his forehead and closed his eyes once more taking deep breaths " My brain is perfect right where it is now thank you. Others just don't see it that way."