I Just Want A Shirt (Nathan.)

[Nathan Darwin]

Nathan looked at her, surprised that she actually read into what he was spouting off. Half the time he spoke whatever came to mind first because that was just how he was. A lot of that time, it didn’t even make much sense to him, but he said it anyway. “I, uh, I guess most girls do. At least it seems that way to me. It’s mostly just the preppy girls though, ya know like in movies and stuff.” Not that he watched chick flicks or anything, but it was a total stereotype wasn’t it? Oh well, either way those were the only people he could think of with that kind of mood.

After she headed into the curtained room, he turned away and began looking around again. He had to admit, for something he hadn’t planned it was turning out to be a nice day. He’d never really hung out with Willow for this long and the more he did, he realized that as awkward as she came off as, she wasn’t a freak like she seemed to believe. Sure, Willow wasn’t as outgoing as the girls he was used to, but it was nice not being around a conceded, over-confident girl. Though, he wished she did have more confidence. He could see it in the way she held herself that she didn’t have any.

Hearing the curtain slide open, he turned back to look at her. Nate’s eyes widened slightly and he gave her a once over. Had she always looked so…pretty? He mentally shook his head and gave her a smile. He took a moment to appraise her before finally speaking, “Will, you look good. Like, really good and I know any guy will be jealous of the one you choose to go for.” He may have been talking about himself, but he was oblivious to that idea for the moment.

[Willow Birdsong]

Willow’s eyebrows furrowed. “Really?” She asked skeptically while he was still talking. As soon as ‘preppy’ girls was mentioned, along with movies, Willow’s resolve returned. “I don’t think so.” She usually didn’t speak her mind, but the occasion seemed to call for it. People weren’t like how they were portrayed in movies. “I’m not like that...” she muttered before she could stop herself, scared eyes glancing at Nate, hoping he hadn’t heard.

Maybe finally liking a boy was what Willow needed to step out of her shell. In fact, she was surprised Nate knew her name at all, and was under the sneaking suspicion that Lark spoke about her to his friends. How else would they know her? She was cooped up in her room most of the time, how could anyone really know her? Willy sighed, wondering when she would see Lark again. She missed his fur...

Willow watched Nate looking at her in the reflection of the mirror, and she glanced at the floor, a blush on her face. Hopefully she looked decent – she wasn’t sure how to read his smile. Then Nate spoke his mind, as she was becoming accustomed to, and she thought that perhaps he was just trying to be generous. “You really think I should get these things?” She asked, stepping to the side timidly, farther away from her baggy clothes, to take a better look at herself.

There were curves. Too many curves. There was a reason she wore such baggy clothes. Willow’s hands came to her stomach, and she continued to give herself a stern look. It was hard to feel confident when you were so... exposed. “I don’t... I don’t understand this.” There was a lot she didn’t understand, but mostly she didn’t understand how these clothes made her any different on the inside. Willy sighed, catching a glimpse of Nate behind her. She didn’t want to let him down. She smiled slightly. “May I change back?”

[Nathan Darwin]

Nathan shrugged, “It seems that way sometimes. I’m no expert though, so I guess it’s more likely that I’m wrong.” In fact, he figured he was considering it wasn’t like he knew girls very well. Nick, he knew girls, inside and out. Nate was still learning. His hears barely caught the softly muttered words, but when he did hear it, he hid a smirk. From what little he knew about girls, he could already tell that Willow was pretty different. Not in a bad way though.

Once their eyes met through the mirror, he glanced down and rubbed the back of his neck. For some reason that he couldn’t understand, he almost felt guilty for looking at her in clothes like that. Especially with the way he was thinking. When she spoke, his eyes lifted again and he shrugged, “I think you should, but I mean if you’re not comfortable in them you don’t have to ya know.” Nathan wasn’t one to pressure people into things they didn’t want to do. He usually gave into peer pressure, but that was out of boredom. This was different. Willow would look good in anything, these clothes just enhanced the things she hid under her baggy ones.

“If you don’t like them Will, then we can find you something else. Something less revealing if you want. I mean you really do look good, but looking good doesn’t take precedence over comfort,” Whoa, Nate was bringing out the big words. Most people took him for a dumb jock, but he wasn’t completely stupid. He watched her as she appraised herself in the mirror and folded his arms across his chest. “If you must,” He said with a smile.

[Willow Birdsong]

Willow nodded. “Well, I did ask...” That didn’t mean the answer she would receive would be perfect, or even correct. Nate seemed like the type of guy to talk for the sake of talking, so she would give him the benefit of the doubt. Already her mind was craving, gnawing at her subconscious for more information. Now she would have to do research on the interactions between males and females, and how the attraction worked – or not.

Feeling herself blush, Willow was starting to feel ridiculous. Girls her age wore clothes like this all the time, it wasn’t like she was wearing lingerie. She wasn’t doing anything risqué. But maybe it wasn’t the clothes that were making her react this way... Her blue eyes bounced back to Nate. She didn’t often like being put out of her comfort zone, and thanks to her power, everything became her comfort zone after some exposure and time. “I just feel...” fat... Willow let her hands drop. Nate probably didn’t care about feelings. And she didn’t blame him really.

Smiling slightly, Willow let out a sigh and went back into the change room. To her surprise, there was another girl in there, who let out a surprised yelp. “Sorry!” She said to Willow. It was a good thing the other girl was already dressed. Her long blonde hair was in ringlets that reached to her shoulders. Anyone could see she was gorgeous. The blonde gave Willow an awkward smile, and pushed past her. “You’re so lucky your boyfriend came along with you,” she said, opening the curtain to display a speechless Willow, “mine would rather be dead than come shopping with me.” And she was gone.

It took a moment, but Willow finally reached up and closed the curtain again, turning on the spot. She closed her eyes while she undressed, the fabric barely noticeable on her skin. That was the problem with clothes, after her power got used to it, it automatically made her feel comfortable, which meant it felt like she was always naked. It just felt better to have a lot of fabric around her, knowing she was definitely not naked.

Stepping out in her old, frumpy clothes, Willow had the garments she had tried on draped over her arm. “I think I will get them...” She said, looking up at Nate. Even if they stayed in her closet for days, or even weeks, maybe someday she would feel brave enough to put them on again, only this time she would wear them out in public. Such bravery made her skin crawl.

[Nathan Darwin]

Nathan tilted his head to the side, “You just feel what, Will?” He was genuinely interested in what she was thinking in that moment, but he didn’t want to push her on it. The last thing he needed was to upset her or something. She just seemed so out of sorts and it made him feel bad for putting her in clothing she didn’t feel comfortable in.

She went back into the changing room area and he shoved his hands deep in his pockets while he waited. Nate couldn’t help but think of how beautiful she was and for some reason he just couldn’t shake it. Of course she always had something there, but he tried to ignore it then. Once he found out about Lark, her appeal had to vanish in his mind. Not that it really worked like that. He glanced around, noticing other guys following their girlfriends around like a dog on a choke chain. They looked so miserable, he just didn’t understand it.

Once she walked out, he looked up at her and offered a smile. She may have changed clothes, but she was still pretty in her own way. Willow didn’t look like all of the other girls in the store, but that was something Nate sort of liked. He was sick of the same looking girls all the time who clung to him. Her eyes traveled up to his and when she declared she’d get them, he had to admit he was surprised. It was a step in a different direction, he just hoped it was a good direction.

Nathan pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and started leafing through the dollar bills. “Alright, is that all you wanna get?” He asked.

[Willow Birdsong]

“Fat,” she said softly, barely above a whisper. Willow gulped and looked down. It was so shaming to feel this way, and it was the reason why she... did what she did. It made her feel better, but her back into control when there was hardly any control in her life to begin with. Maybe Nate would understand, or maybe like everyone else, he would insist she wasn’t fat.

When Nate looked her at like that after she left the change room, Willow couldn’t help but smile slightly. It felt different somehow. But her smile quickly vanished. She felt self conscious about it because it felt like it was too big for her face. She nodded a couple times hurriedly, thrusting the clothes on the counter before she could change her mind. Pushing her hair behind her ears, she still couldn’t believe he was paying for them. It was then and there that she decided she would have to do something nice for him.

After being given her new clothes in a bag with the store’s logo plastered all over it, Willow left the store in a hurry, waiting for Nate to catch up. She hoped Lark would like these... Maybe she had gotten them for the wrong reason? Willow sighed. “These aren’t very practical for camping,” she said conversationally. They weren’t really good for anything other than showing off one’s body. It was a thought she would have to get used to. “Thanks for your help Nate, are you going back to school now?” She looked up at him with big round doe eyes. Maybe she could go with him?

[Nathan Darwin]

Nate’s eyes roamed across her face for a moment as she whispered her answer. He didn’t really know what to say. Nick was the smooth talker, the one who could be a therapist with as easy as it was for him to talk to people. Nathan had never dealt with this before, but he knew what he didn’t want to say and that was what everyone else would say. She isn’t fat, which was true and everyone would be right in thinking that, but there was something more to it. The way she was almost ashamed of what she was saying. It wasn’t just a girl with self-image problems.

“Well, I don’t see it, but I guess it’s a difference of opinion. I think you’re beautiful, but that’s just me,” He said nonchalantly, hoping he hadn’t just made things worse for her. It was true though, he wasn’t being a nice guy because that wasn’t him. He didn’t like bullshiting people because it annoyed him when people bullshitted him. Either way, he wasn’t sure just how well she’d take it. And she rushed off to the changing room before he could worry about it too much.

It didn’t take long for her to change and he paid at his own leisurely pace while she all but sprinted out of the store. Nate was almost worried she was trying to get rid of him, but she slowed down just enough so that he could catch up with her. He smiled at her comment and shrugged, “Not practical, no, but you’ll probably cause some hiking accidents while all the campers stare at you.” He smirked to himself and rubbed the back of his neck just as she was talking again. “Oh it was no biggie, anytime you need a straight guy fashion adviser, I’m your man. And yeah, I’m heading up there now. Need a ride?”

[Willow Birdsong]

Willow’s eyes grew wide. He said it like he had said it a hundred times before, but there was something else there she didn’t understand. It was like when she was with Lark, he had a certain look he gave to her, something that drove her crazy because she was trying to figure it out. What made her beautiful exactly? Did her disease make her appealing to jock men? Willow would think about it beyond their clothes shopping.

Blushing furiously, Willow wasn’t used to be attractive in any sense of the word. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” She asked, unsure of herself or what she was doing with someone like Nate, who could be doing anything else and talking with normal people, prettier girls. Nodding a couple times, Willow was glad he was offering.

After getting into his car and having a wordless drive (mostly because Willow was feeling nervous), Willow held the bad sheepishly between her two hands as they headed up the path to Hammel. She glanced up at Nate. “Your eyes are the color of the sky,” she said, not trying to be flirty, merely making an observation.

[Nathan Darwin]

“It’s supposed to be, but I mean, I’m kind of horrible at saying things the right way. I’m working on my skills,” He said with a laugh. As they walked out to his car, he glanced around, his eyes never settling on one specific thing. ADD was a strange thing to have sometimes because even when he took his medication, his mind was always on a million things at once. Like how nice it felt outside or how much he liked those Vans just inside the shoe store they passed by. Things were constantly popping up in his mind and he couldn’t stop them.

Upon opening the door for her, he watched her climb in and his mind drifted once more. She, despite what she might think, had a certain grace about her. Sure, she seemed awkward and unsure of herself, but behind it all was something else. Something special, he knew. And for his mind to be filling up with all of the clichés in the world and cheesy movie lines, he knew he hadn’t ever thought of another girl in the same way. Except maybe one, but that was before he knew what he was doing.

The car ride didn’t take long, and the silence didn’t bother him at all. He liked being in the presence of someone and feeling the need to speak. Once the arrived, he pulled in and parked before opening her door and assisting her out as he’d been taught at an early age. They headed up the path towards the dormitory and he continued to watch everything. It wasn’t until she spoke that he risked a glance in her direction. And her words surprised him, along with her tone. “Huh, I’ve never really noticed. I mean it seems like the shade of blue eyes changes with everything. Like yours, your eyes are more water colored I think.”

[Willow Birdsong]

Willow smiled up at him. “Well you don’t need to work on your honesty.” A compliment was a compliment and she was going to try and take it as such. Nate wasn’t a mean person, she could see that, so, she was willing to give him a chance to be her friend at the very least if that was something he was interested in. Willow hardly noticed Nate’s bouncy nature as her own power preoccupied her, nullifying everything she wished she could feel or renew. Their eyes met as he shut the door for her and color rose to her cheeks, her eyelashes shielding her vision. Something new was happening here between them.

Willow looked ahead of her once more after talking about eye color. “They’re nice,” she said fleetingly, quickly, as though she hoped he wouldn’t here. He seemed distracted and in his own world anyways, so she tried not to worry too much over seeming odd.

Walking up the threshold, Willow decided now would be a good time to part ways. Another step and it would be awkward. “Thanks again,” she said, forcing a smile and heading to her room. Something about today made her feel guilty. But even as she was walking away from Nate, she couldn’t help but look back at him one last time. Would she see him again?