Pay it forward [closed]

[Fer Reyes]

Things were good with Fer. He had recovered his normal mood after several weeks, and he was back to normal, not simply sulking and feeling bad about himself as all these days after having been hit by that bully in the middle of the courtyard. As good as he was, though, he somehow still didn't have the inner strength to actually go and face everybody in the cafeteria at lunch hour. Somehow, an inner instinct of fear invaded him, and he imagined everybody looking at him and whispering things about him and about that day.

No... he was not going to take that.

The Brazilian boy took his usual made-by-himself lunch, honey and eggplant sandwiches, and walked to his daily spot at the pond, there it was, his safe place waiting for him, and he was in his way to sit and start eating when he realized he was not the only one in the vicinity. A familiar face was a couple of meters away, also by the pond, with a look in his face that reminded him of his own about a month ago.

He twisted his lips and pondered for a second or two, ultimately deciding to walk over to him, as he looked like he needed someone to talk to and, not long ago, someone had done the same to him in this same spot, and not only it had been very helpful and good for him, but it also awarded him a very good friend. Maybe the same could happen now, and if not, at least he was paying it forward.

"Declyn, right?" Fer stood in front of the ginger. "I'm Fer," he stopped before mentioning that Cameron had introduced them before, instead deciding to say from where else he remembered the ginger. "You went to Kocher, didn't you? I... I didn't recognize you at first, but you were kind of popular."

[Declyn O'Callahan]

Things had been different with Declyn lately. The usual charming, and upbeat dream manipulator hadn't been much the same since him and Cameron broke up. He'd been quiet and often kept to himself nowadays. It was extremely out of character for the Irish boy, but he just couldn't get out of this funk he was in. His mind had been playing tricks on him a lot more since then and he was practically living in Inception.

Luckily the cool weather helped him clear his mind and also he'd found his zippo lighter which was the only way he knew he wasn't dreaming today. It was the first time in the past couple of weeks that he actually felt awake and he was spending it outside to stare out at the pond. He couldn't really think of anything better to do. It wasn't like he had very many friends to hang out with and the last thing he needed was to spend time with his brother when he already knew the 'I told you so' was bound to come up sooner or later.

Lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't even realized the other boy until he was standing in front of him, blocking the view of the water. His eyes traveled up until he was looking at a somewhat familiar face. As he said the name, Dec remembered exactly where he had met this boy before and it brought another face to mind. Cameron had introduced them the day they started dating.

"Yeah, Dec works. You're Cam's friend huh?" He said in a flat tone, unable to stop himself. And when the younger boy then mentioned Kocher, Declyn thought for a moment. It took him a few moments to remember that he had seen this boy around a few times back in Kocher. "You could say that, I suppose," He shrugged, unsure of what more he could say. After all, his social outlook on things had been slowly disappearing.

[Fer Reyes]

"Friend" was an overstatement. Fer and Cameron had had a thing the day they met, and that was pretty much it, aside of course from the random meetings at school and outside. "Yeah, something like that," he nodded with a soft smile and took a seat next to the ginger. "We don't really talk much," he said, but he was definitely not going to get into any more detail like that given the circumstances.

Opening his bag, the Brazilian took out a couple of sandwiches and offered one to Declyn, he always over-packed food anyway, so it didn't bother him. "Here, you can have this," he said. "It's salami and pickles. I swear it tastes delicious."

It didn't surprise him that Declyn didn't say he also recognized Fer from Kocher, since they ran in social circles that were pretty much polar opposites. He didn't know Declyn, but Fer guessed that by the type of people that he hanged with at the European school, at least over there he wouldn't be caught dead being friends with people in Fer's own social circle overseas, which was pretty much composed of the over-the-top gay divas and the such.

Of course, Fer had left that behind for very good, and by little he had seen of the ginger in Hammel, it seemed like maybe he wasn't the only one.

"You were friends with Julian weren't you?" he asked. "I always had the biggest crush in him, but he seemed straighter than... a straight line."

[Declyn O'Callahan]

Declyn hadn’t even tried to keep track of all the flings his former boyfriend had. He didn’t care anymore because it wasn’t his business to care. Cameron did what he wanted when he wanted and who he wanted to do it with. That much had been proven when he kissed Chester without so much as thinking of his boyfriend. But Dec wasn’t bitter at all. “That makes two of us now,” He said quietly. It was weird for the boy to be so down and anyone who really knew him would be worried.

Glancing over at the younger boy, he raised an eyebrow. Salami and pickles? He’d heard of some strange food combinations, but not that one. He wasn’t one to care what he ate though, with as much as he worked out it didn’t matter as long as he burned off the calories. “Sure, I’ll try it out,” He took the sandwich and bit off a section. Dec’s eyebrows shot up and he was thoroughly surprised by how good it actually did taste, “Hm, that is good.”

Well at least he knew he could trust this guy’s taste buds.

Declyn wasn’t really a judgmental person. He had no right to be with as insane as he was. The social circle he engulfed himself with at Kocher had been filled with player types mostly, but he occasionally switched to nerds or geeks or the artistic types. It all depended on his mood that day it seemed. Dec was versatile and a generally nice guy to anyone he came into contact with. Fer’s social group had never been on his radar though. Not because he hadn’t heard of it, but because he’d been a little nervous about trying to talk to them. They seemed far too close-knit for him to fit in, especially since he had no idea what sexuality he was.

The younger boy spoke again, and Declyn glanced over at him. Julian? He hadn’t heard from that boy in the past few months he’d been here. Ever since he left, he had lost contact with all of his prior friends. The risk he’d taken to find his brother. “Julian? Really? Nah, he wasn’t really sure about his sexuality. On occasion I heard of him having a few flings with some of the guys from the swim team,” He shrugged. In fact, he thought he remembered Julian telling him about a kid that he’d been crushing on…who was from Brazil…huh.

[Fer Reyes]

Fer looked away for a small second as Declyn placed himself in the same position towards Cameron as Fer. He almost regretted having said that, but it was better than saying they're friends when they're not. "Sorry about that, you know," he said weirdly. It was one of those "sorry" people say when someone had died, and he guessed that Declyn would probably catch that.

Now Fer felt rather awkward. Was he supposed to say anything else about Cameron? If it were one of his friends, the Brazilian's first reflex would be bashing the ex, things like "he didn't deserve you", "he's an ass", and "he's ugly anyway", which, coincidentally, Fer had already done about Cameron to Mia in the past. The key thing was that Declyn was not Fer's friend, at least not yet, so it would seem rather tacky and unfriendly to simply start bashing Cameron out of nowhere, specially if the ginger didn't fully open the conversation topic. It was better to be cautious.

At least Declyn was enjoying the sandwich, and the realization put a smile in Fer's face. "I know!" he nodded. "I'll teach you anytime. Although it's really not that difficult, I mean, it's just pickles and salami..." he chuckled softly. "Proportions are key, though. Yes," he nodded yet again.

"OH MY BRITNEY!" Fer almost jumped at the ginger's words. "You're kidding, right?!" his jaw dropped as Declyn finished speaking about Julian. "Oh, fuck, Romeo!" Fer face-palmed himself and shook his head. "He even told me he had had a fling with Julian but I never believed him!" he almost yelled with a frustrated voice. "Ugh, all I missed for not having the courage to simply go and ask..." he shook his head and returned his eyes to Declyn while taking another bite of his sandwich. "See? This is exactly why marking the sexual orientation question in Facebook should be mandatory for everyone. I even sent Facebook a letter once asking them to do it," the Brazilian boy twisted his lip. "They never replied."

[Declyn O'Callahan]

Declyn had given up on trying to make things better with Cameron. He just couldn’t do it. It was nothing against Cameron, it was him. He shrugged off Fer’s apology, “Shit happens.” Ex’s come and go, it was just that this one was a little harder to forget than others. Maybe because it was the first guy he’d been with, or maybe because Cam was just so different. Either way, he needed to forget it. Sooner rather than later.

He just nodded as an answer to all of the boy’s words. He couldn’t find it in himself to really say much else. What was he supposed to say? ‘Oh yeah, proportions are always so important. I know all about pickles and salami…’ yeah cause that sounded normal. Nope, he just kept quiet and ran his fingers through his hair.

Declyn laughed shortly at Fer’s excitement and shook his head at the question. The name Romeo wasn’t one he recognized, but he didn’t care. He assumed it was someone else who’d transferred from Kocher. Julian didn’t much talk about his flings with guys, he only ever really talked about one person and he wouldn’t even say the name, so Dec didn’t know who it was. The idea of sexual orientation being mandatory on Facebook made Declyn happy that he didn’t have one because he still had no clue what his was. Girls were beautiful and interesting because they weren’t all predictable, but guys, some of them at least were just as interesting and kept you on your toes. Both genders also had a fair amount of sex appeal. How was a guy supposed to choose? “I wouldn’t know about that, I’m not really into social media I guess.”

[Fer Reyes]

"Yeah," Fer said. Shit does happen.

It wasn't like Fer could relate to Declyn's current situation, though, the Brazilian has never had a serious relationship, but Fer knows what it's like to be in a shitty mood. He was in one for several weeks just not long ago, and it wasn't the first time and for sure it wasn't going to be the last one. It wasn't particularly hard to notice Declyn was in a dark place as well.

Fer took another bite of his sandwich as Declyn spoke again. "That's odd," he raised an eyebrow. "I find it hard to live without Facebook, specially Facebook messenger." Fer was no one without his friends, in fact, he liked to brag on the number of friends he has on fb: he has two accounts since he actually reached the maximum number of friends you can have in one, and he's close to having to create a third one. Clearly he and Declyn were very different people.

As he took yet another bite of his lunch, the thought hit him. If Declyn and Fer were very different people, maybe they dealt with problems differently. The ginger was clearly not in the mood to talk, he had barely said any words and Fer didn't feel comfortable imposing himself on Declyn. "So rude of me," he said while starting to pack his lunch back in his bag. "You were here minding your own and probably all you want is to be left alone," he finished placing everything in his bag and gave the ginger a good look up and down with a small smile. "Things will get better, don't worry. It was nice talking to you anyway," he nodded. At least he had given this a try.

[Declyn O'Callahan]

Declyn was being out of character. This wasn't him and honestly, him and Fer probably had a lot more in common than either of them expected. Sure, they didn't agree on the whole Facebook thing, but he'd never really given it a try. It'd be interesting to see how many friends he still had from Kocher since he lost contact with all of them after he left. Dec just hadn't thought of that sort of thing. He was too lost in his own mind to think of stuff like that.

The social part of his mind was mentally kicking him for being so short and one-worded. It was different and he didn't necessarily like it, it was just easier to be like this now.

And he got a good solid mental kick as Fer started packing up his things. It snapped him out of his dark hole if only briefly and he started getting confused. Was he really being that bad? Gosh he was. Declyn shook his head, "N-no ye don't have to. Please, don't go...I'm sorry. Things are just weird right now." Understatement. Dec really did feel bad for being so quiet and antisocial. In fact, he was starting to act as sulky as his twin. What was he supposed to say now? His hands covered his face and he slid them to the back of his neck, his forehead resting on his knees. "To be honest, I haven't talked to very many people in the past few weeks, I'm a little out of practice you could say."

[Fer Reyes]

"No, it's fine," Fer tried to assure Declyn. "You don't have to apologize, I get it..." he said softly while placing a hand in the ginger's shoulder.

Pondering for some seconds on whether or not to leave, Fer decided to stay, which he made sure it was notable by dropping his bag down again. He twisted his lip as Declyn explained just what was going on, and all Fer could think was that he got it. He didn't like talking about the subject, and aside from Mia, he hadn't really told anyone about it directly, but maybe he shouldn't be ashamed of it any more.

"Not... long ago a guy punched me on the face," he said while accommodating himself in the bench, facing the pond and not looking at Declyn directly. "Simply because I was gay. In the courtyard in front of everyone..." he took a deep breath and swallowed saliva. "My only reaction was to cry and run away, I'm not really much a of a fighter," which he thought was obvious, but nonetheless decided to add. "I spent weeks going from class straight to my room and so on. I even skipped as many classes as possible..." he left a small silent in there, remembering how bad he felt through all those weeks. "What I'm trying to say is... I kind of know the dark place you feel yourself in right now. I was there too..." he sighed.

He wasn't if that was going to make Declyn feel less weird and more comfortable, but he gave it a try anyway.