This Isn't Weird, Right? (Sean)

[Alexander McKenzie]

Lately Alex had been thinking hard about his future. While it had always been his hobby and passion to stare at the sky and study things far beyond his reach, well... he was starting to wonder about the practicality of it all. His parents would have never tried to deter him from something he wanted to do, and he knew Ann wouldn’t either. But the more he thought about it, the more he started to think that perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. He was only a year and a half into his degree, and with Biology in the mix surely he could find a way to transfer to something better.

His potential answer had come when he’d gone in for routine bloodwork at Maddock. He’d gotten to chatting with one of the nurses, and as he’d left the building he’d started to think about it more. Male nurses weren’t that uncommon anymore. What was stopping him from doing that? Surely some of his credits could apply towards some sort of program. If the U of V even offered something like that.

He wasn’t particularly sure of who to ask at the school. The administration department had about ten different branches, and he wasn’t even sure which student advisor he was supposed to contact for something like this.

That was why he’d done what made the most logical sense in his mind. He’d contacted Hammel and managed to secure some time with Dr. Neville. He knew that the man was important to Ann, but he’d never really had a reason to see him himself. He’d never had a need to be punished for anything while at Hammel, and he’d had a fairly good grip on himself by the time he’d settled in. Any lingering ‘issues’ he had with his health he’d already talked out by the time he was a teenager anyway. Much as he’d wanted to resist support groups, they’d been helpful.

But this had nothing to do with that. This had to do with University and figuring out how to transfer, or even how to at this point. At one point he’d even considered pursuing medical school, but that seriously lacked the human element. Of all the time he’d spent in hospital when he was little, it was never the doctors doing the comforting. It was always the nurses, and the human element was what he wanted.

Unsure of how to even dress for a meeting like this, Alex had thrown on a button down shirt and headed out. He was both looking forward to, and was apprehensive about the meeting. Still, he did his best to settle his nerves as he headed down. It seemed like no time passed before his car was parked in the Hammel lot and he was facing Dr. Neville’s door. It was slightly open, but he still knocked before gently pushing it open. “Dr. Neville? Um. I have an appointment to talk about school?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean prided himself on being accessible. Accessibility was measured in a broad scope, rather than a narrow focus; as such, he made himself accessible not only to current students, but to coworkers, to family members and guardians of students, and to alumni. If someone needed him, then he made himself available, even if that involved arriving early, remaining late, coming in on weekends, or working through his lunch break.

As such, he had readily made the appointment with Alexander McKenzie.

The psychiatrist remembered Alex; as with many of the students, he had more knowledge of the young man than the young man had of him. This was due primarily to the fact that Alex had behaved as a student and hadn’t sought him out for advice while coping with adolescence. However, Sean had remained aware of him; he knew his academic record, his powers, his social circle, and he knew that Alex was currently dating Ann Hudgins. Ann had been one of his protégés, and he remained fond of her and in communication with her while she attended college.

Sean sensed Alex’s arrival, confirmed by the knock on the door a moment later. The psychiatrist set aside his new copy of the DSM V that he had been reviewing, and turned toward the door. “You can come in, Alex,” he called out to the young man.

“Be sure to close the door behind you.” Since Alex hadn’t been to his office before, Sean thought it best to apprise him of protocol.

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex had actually been somewhat surprised by just how accessible Dr. Neville's help had been to a graduate. Granted, he knew that Ann was still in contact with him. He hadn't really talked to her about all this yet, mostly because he still wasn't 100% sure himself as to what he wanted to do. That was where the hope that Dr. Neville could help came in.

He had no idea that he had ever been on the psychiatrist's radar. Apart from being tangled in the one school dance incident with Zac LaRousse and getting a black eye out of it, he'd never really been in trouble. Even then, he had gone unpunished. It had been Zac and Ann who had been scolded. At the time, he'd felt a little guilty about it. If he'd just managed to see the punch coming, he could have defended himself instead of Ann rounding on Zac instead. At least they were all past that juvenile stage. ... Well, most of them. He didn't trust Zac to be any more mature. Thankfully he didn't have to see him, well... ever.

At the invitation Alex slipped into the office and offered a little smile and a wave. "Hello again Dr. Neville." Following instructions, he quietly shut the door behind him before crossing over to the chairs by the desk. "Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I just had some questions, and University felt like... not a dead end, but like I couldn't figure out the right place to ask them." This was easier, and hopefully more beneficial. He took a moment to arrange his thoughts before voicing why he was actually there.

"I've spent the past two years trying to follow the physics track of education. They have a fantastic astrophysics program, and astronomy. I've loved looking at the stars since I was little, but the more I think about it now, the less I'm thinking it's a good idea." He paused to swallow, realizing that this was a little more difficult to admit than he'd expected. "I was hoping to find out if you were familiar with any, um, nursing programs U of V offers, or if any of the classes I've taken could be used for credits towards it. I've been taking biology as well as physics. I just don't know where to start with this." He leaned back slightly in the chair and reached up to toy with the arm of his glasses. "I probably should have thought of this two years ago." Two years ago he had still been stuck in the idea of studying the sky. Now he was engaged, he was thinking more about practicality.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Hammel didn’t have a proper guidance counselor. As such, academic planning duties fell under Sean’s nebulous authority, and quasi-guidance counselor was one of the many hats he wore. He didn’t mind serving that function, as it was tangentially related to his other duties, since it involved the mental and emotional welfare of the students.

He didn’t have all of the formal resources that some guidance counselors possessed, but he was capable of researching. More than that, he did keep whatever information he utilized, and he had contacts at various institutions in New England, and some elsewhere.

“Hello, Alex,” the psychiatrist returned the greeting with a smile and a nod. “How are you today?”

Once they moved from pleasantries, Sean nodded again. “I’m always happy to meet with former students,” he assured the young man. “I can do my best to answer any questions you have.”

He listened attentively as Alex described his current coursework at college, as well as his feelings about his future. The psychiatrist understood the young man’s concerns; the economy was brutal towards Alex’s generation, and employment was at its lowest rate for that demographic since The Great Depression. So many students felt adrift, and there lacked the sense of security that had existed even ten years ago. The hard sciences were no longer considered safe. Business was certainly not considered safe, although that was irrelevant to Alex’s interests.

Medicine was one of the few areas that still had consistent employment. There had been a nursing shortage a decade back, although those numbers were strengthening as people looked for new methods of security.

However, the psychiatrist didn’t think one should abandon one’s dreams wholesale, and so he said, “Nursing is a valuable profession, and I know that UVM has a strong nursing program. I’m happy to go through that with you, of course, but I’d like to ask why you think that studying astrophysics isn’t a good idea.”

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex had been surprisingly well adjusted once he’d been recruited. Honestly, Hammel had been nothing short of a welcome change when he’d arrived. His high school had become somewhat unbearable around the time of his manifestation, so coming to a new state and a new school had been his idea of perfect. Sometimes he pretended to be a little more well-adjusted than he let on. Proof of that had been during his first year of University, when he’d stressed himself out to the point of illness, only to panic about what it could mean about his overall health. Since then he’d mellowed back out, and made a special effort to keep himself calm.

Still, sometimes he wondered if he should have tried seeking a meeting, just to hash out certain insecurities. Oh well. He was past that now, and long tired of looking to the past. Now he had Ann and their future to look forward to. Which was why he was here now.

“I’m good,” he answered with a smile. “Yourself?” Despite his appearance, manners were important to him. It was sad how many people dismissed him as a punk.

He was glad that it wasn’t outside of Sean’s scope of work, meeting like this. It made him relax a little more in the office. Ann had promised him that it would be fine, and he was banking on her being right. “Thank you. That’s really all I need.” Answers to questions he didn’t know how to answer himself.

Being engaged had given Alex a real sense of reality. He’d always had a good level of responsibility. He’d worked at Kali’s throughout his education at Hammel, going from dishwasher to line cook fairly smoothly. He saved money. He had an apartment he shared with his best friend and was always diligent with his rent. But being in university really had made him stop and think. It was one thing to study something you loved, but if by the end of it you had a degree and no possible job openings, well... then you were stuck. He didn’t want that to happen to him. Not with a future with Ann on the line. She had herself sorted out with following a psychology path. A part of him wished he was as such about his path as she was. Maybe trying a new path would give him that.

He nodded at the offer. “Anything you know about the program, I’d be interested in.” Trying to look online had given him a worse headache than when he’d first looked at the physics track. As for his reasoning, he just shrugged and looked at his hands, twisting his ring around his finger. “Nursing just seems like it would be more beneficial in the long run. I was at Maddock a few days ago getting bloodwork done, and got to talking to one of the nurses there. I like helping people, and... I honestly think I’d do better in that field. I can always look at stars at home.” It seemed like solid reasoning, at least to him.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded to convey his interest in the conversation and his return of the greeting. As a child, manners had been important to his family as well, and he had been instilled with a high degree of formality, even if he was capable of dropping that veneer without hesitation. “I’m doing well, thank you. How is Ann?” He kept in touch with the young woman, but Alex had most certainly spoken to her more recently than the psychiatrist had.

At the explanation, Sean asked further, “What makes you think you’ll do better at nursing? Or that you wouldn’t do well with astrophysics?”

Sean rose from his chair and crossed the office to one of the bookcases. Considering how many Hammel students went on to attend the University of Vermont, the psychiatrist kept what admission material they dispersed on hand for anyone who came to him with questions. After a moment of digging through the most recent course book, he found the information about their nursing program. Satisfied, he took the booklet with him back to where Alex sat, and he held it out to the young man. “This is their official information.”

Once Alex had a hold of that, the psychiatrist continued, “I don’t know how familiar you are with nursing education in general, but it requires a specific bachelor’s degree – a Bachelor’s of Nursing instead of a Bachelor’s of Arts or Bachelor’s of Science.” That was the most basic information that Sean had to impart.

“Have you given any thought to what area of nursing you’d like to pursue?” There were many, nearly as many as existed for doctors.

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex practically lit up when Sean asked about Ann. The young woman had become his world, and he was happy to answer. "She's doing well in school. Amazing, really." The pride was evident in his voice. "I'm not sure if she's spoken to you recently, but we got engaged a few weeks ago." He was still riding that high, even though his cheeks coloured slightly.

Sean's questions gave him pause, and he thought for a moment before answering a little more carefully. "Maybe not better, but different. I like the idea of studying the sky, sure. But the more I think about it, the more something like nursing makes sense. It's easier to get into the job market, and it's more practical." Not to mention his medical knowledge picked up from a few years of hanging around hospitals was rather impressive. "I always liked the nurses when I was little. Doctors came and went, talked a lot to my parents with statistics and big words. Nurses actually made me feel like a person." There had been some nights he'd wanted nothing more than to hold on to someone and cry. The pediatric nurses in the oncology ward had been nothing short of amazing and supportive.

He watched curiously as Sean crossed the room and returned with the information. It was given a quick glance before he nodded and lifted it. "May I make a copy of this?" It was infinitely easier than trying to track it back down at UVM.

"Honestly, not familiar at all," he admitted. "That's why I'm here." It sounded straightforward enough. Glancing at some of the courses, it looked like he had a few he could apply towards it. As for specifics... "Pediatrics is where I'd love to focus. Or oncology." He glanced at the ground for a moment. "Or both." Though he could keep calm in serious situations, he didn't think he'd fare well in an emergency room setting. Pediatrics would give him a chance to work with kids, and oncology... well, it would feel a little like he was giving back. He liked that idea. "Is it important to narrow your focus at the start, or does that come after classroom work?" This was all new to him.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean smiled, nodding to himself. He wasn’t surprised to hear that Ann was thriving at college; he had told her that when she had still been a Hammel student. With her abilities under control, and free from the reputation she had cultivated as being too quiet or too easily overwhelmed, he had known that she would find her niche. The knowledge made his heart swell. More so to hear that they were engaged. His smile grew wider. “Congratulations! Have you set a date yet, or do you plan to wait until after graduation?”

That was a fair assessment. One of Sean’s criticisms of medical school was that not enough time was spent teaching the necessity of developing a good bedside manner. Nurses often filled that critical role.

The psychiatrist nodded in assent. “Of course. We can take a trip to the copy machine before you leave today.” That would be easier than going to Kinko’s or expecting Alex to make a copy on his own time and send him back the original. It would also allow the young man to take the materials with him when he left, instead of having to wait.

Sean listened attentively as Alex described his interests. Pediatrics was a popular field; oncology less so because of the emotional strain involved on the parts of the medical personnel. Pediatric oncology was, unfortunately, an unnecessary field, one that was even more draining than adult oncology. “It isn’t necessary to focus at the start. You’ll be exposed to all of the different specialties during your nursing education, and then you specialize afterward.” In that way, it was similar to medical school.

“Do you know about the different levels of nursing education?” If Alex was as unfamiliar with this as he claimed to be, then Sean assumed that he would have to explain that to the young man.

[Alexander McKenzie]

Ann had thrived much better than Alex had, even in their first year. While she had been flourishing in her classes, he had struggled with the balances of work, school, and play. Now he was an expert at balancing everything. He was just glad she’d found her stride. Her confidence, everything had grown so much since they’d graduated. “No, not yet. We want to graduate first. I just... I couldn’t wait anymore.” He’d had his reasons for doing what he had done so early, and they were reasons he wasn’t sure he wanted to get into with Dr. Neville. He was here for schooling information, not to discuss ancient history.

“Thank you,” Alex replied. That would make things easier by far, and he could make notes on the copy from the meeting if he needed to. He could also take it to the administration wing if he wanted to pursue the transfer come next semester. It would be more helpful to have something tangible with him than just go armed with words.

Alex had always loved kids, though he imagined it would be difficult to see them in pain, or have to try to convince them that needles didn’t hurt. He’d tried a long time ago, when he was ten and undergoing chemo for the second time. There had been kids younger than him, and he’d tried to comfort them if he could. At that age, he hadn’t been able to do much. Now, he was older, and possibly more able to help them out. As for oncology, well... at least he knew it inside and out. “I see,” he said thoughtfully. Maybe he’d find something else to focus on once he’d experienced it. Or maybe he’d find that he wasn’t suited at all to the job. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case.

“I don’t, actually. It’s all new to me. Like I said, anything you can impart, I’m grateful for.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded his understanding; that was what he would advise. Even the strongest relationships benefitted from having graduation under their belt and a fair amount of time living with each other before marriage. “Please give her my congratulations and tell her to call me.” He would want to offer his congratulations to her in person, as well; it had been far too long since they had last met for coffee. “Tell me about the proposal.” Only if Alex was comfortable doing so.

“You’re welcome.” The least that the psychiatrist could do was to provide Alex with what materials he had in his possession.

This would be easier if Sean had more than a passing knowledge of nursing programs and a course catalogue to which to refer. However, working in medicine, even if he specialized in psychiatric medicine, gave him the basic knowledge, and that would suffice for now. “Most nurses are RNs – Registered Nurses. They typically require a bachelor’s of nursing. Nurse Practitioners have the ability to prescribe medications and have far more training and authority; they usually require another five or so years of post-graduate course work and then clinical rotations and another licensing exam. I’d need to refresh myself with the specifics, but those are the two levels you should keep in mind. “

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex smiled and nodded confirmation that yes, he would pass that on. "I will as soon as I get back to the dorms." He planned to go back to the University later to see what he could do about switching around for next semester, and see Ann for dinner after that. As for the question, he felt the warm dusting of pink settle across his cheeks, but he smiled and folded his hands in his lap. "It wasn't very special," he started. "I asked her to meet me at the lake, because we had our first date there. I'd had the ring for a while, because after she and I had a discussion about something important, well... I didn't want to lose her. Not for anything. I hadn't really planned much for it, or even when I was going to. She stayed over at my apartment one night, and as I was trying to get to sleep, it just sort of hit me." He shrugged again. "I left her a note early in the morning, and we met at the lake. It was... simple." Which really suited him and Ann to a T.

Once Sean went into the details of nursing, Alex began to listen more intently, mentally taking notes. This put more complexity into it, but it didn't scare him. He wanted to know more, and Sean supplied it. He wasn't sure if he wanted the responsibility of prescribing medications and authority, at least not at this point, but that could always change. "So if someone becomes an RN and works at that for a few years, can they still go back to pursue being a Nurse Practitioner afterwards, or is it something that needs to be known prior to even going into a program?" At the moment he was leaning towards just an RN. It seemed a good enough place to start, though he did have one small concern. It was something he'd really never given thought to until now, and it made him nervous. "And... this might not be completely relevant, but..." He glanced down at his tattooed arms, visible from the elbows down. "Would body art impact acceptance to these programs, or employment? I mean, they would be easy to cover with a long sleeve shirt, but they'd still be there." Some jobs didn't care, but was this one of them? He'd seen a few nurses from time to time with small tattoos, but his were... well... not subtle. Not that he regretted any of them.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean’s smile widened as Alex recounted the proposal. It was fitting in its simplicity. The psychiatrist certainly wasn’t one to require or expect showier gestures, even if his partner was inclined towards them. In fact, Sean would have been disappointed if Alex had proposed to her in an ostentatious and public way, since he viewed that as (consciously intended or not) manipulative. “It sounds like you did it just the way she wanted.” Ann and Alex could bask in that until graduation, at which point wedding plans would take priority.

“You can always go back to school.” That was a question that the psychiatrist could answer without looking at the education materials. He’d spent enough time working with nurses, or spending time with medical science educators and students, to know the basics of that system. Not allowing nurses to go back for further education would be counterproductive, and for many years there had been a nursing shortage in the United States. “That way, if you want to go the RN route, you can get some work experience; some hospitals will even help pay for night programs so that you can work toward your nurse practitioner license.” Sean couldn’t identify those hospitals but he knew that such programs existed.

He then glanced down at the tattoos. That was more of a problem in traditionally conservative fields, like hospitals. Of course, to work in a hospital, all employees were required to undergo blood tests and a full battery of exams and vaccinations, so blood poisoning was less of a risk. “I don’t think it would with most nursing programs, except possibly the most elitist ones, but that is the same for many fields. Hospitals might be more scrutinizing about it, but I can’t see it fully preventing you from employment. But, so you know, nursing scrubs are short-sleeved.” Which would make concealing them a bit more difficult.

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex had never been one to actively seek attention with grand gestures. He garnered enough on his own just by being himself, whether it was good or bad. He didn’t need anything more, so he was happy to do things in a more quiet manner. He also knew Ann, and flashy things were not her style, either. In fact, he might have run the risk of her saying no had he done something more public and big. He did smile and nod at the comment, though. “She said yes, which was more than I could ever ask for.”

It was good to know he had the option of going back, should he want to step up to the higher levels. “I think that might be the best option, then. I know there’s always the possibility of getting into the field and liking the level you enter at, or talking to the practitioners and deciding it’s not what you want.” He was realistic, which was why he was here in the first place. Still, it was good to know he had options. And if the hospitals were willing to help out with night school, that was a bonus.

All of his tattoos had been special at the time of inking, including his newest addition. He’d never regretted any of them, though he also hadn’t thought much about the future. Hell, there had been a time he wasn’t sure he’d have one. But now it was coming fast, and it was something he had to consider. “Oh, I know they’re short. I’ve seen people wearing long sleeves underneath, though.” He shrugged slightly. It was an easy solution if it was a problem. “Is there anything else I should know about it?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean’s smile widened, because, with those twelve words, he understood completely how Alex felt. The psychiatrist felt the same way about his partner, and their reconciliation two years ago was one of his most cherished memories of adulthood, despite the circumstances that had led to it. Being with the one that one loved was the height of human connection, as far as Sean was concerned. “I’m sure that Ann felt the same way, which is why she said ‘yes’ in the first place.” That was worth celebrating.

“In that case, starting as a Registered Nurse would be a good game plan,” the psychiatrist agreed. It provided Alex with more flexibility in the here and now. Additionally, if he did want to go back to school and could get his employer to help pay for education, then that was all the better. He knew that student loan debt was a major concern among alumni, and he had a great amount of empathy for them. He had benefitted from relatively inexpensive post-graduate education, and he believed that was a right for everyone by virtue of their humanity, as opposed to a privilege reserved only for those who could afford it.

The psychiatrist considered that question for a moment, wracking his brain for what basics he could impart, beyond what he already had imparted. However, he only knew so much about the process of nursing school, and Alex was still so early in the process of consideration. “Not that comes to mind right now. After you look into it a bit more, we can meet again to discuss it in further detail.”

That would allow Alex to take additional time to ponder his options.

[Alexander McKenzie]

Alex had never felt more complete than when he was with Ann. Even without her powers, she had a remarkably soothing effect on him. Even when he was stressed from school, or just life in general, she was always there for him, as he was for her in turn. They were young and perhaps this was ridiculous at this age, but when he'd come to realize that there seemed nothing he could do, or dredge up from his past, that would make her run, well... he'd wanted to bind them in a way more secure than what they had. "I hope so. I know I surprised her with it, but the look on her face..." He could do nothing but smile in an almost dopey way. "I'm going to remember that for the rest of my life." Beneath the surprise, he'd seen what he'd hoped to see. Absolute love.

The longer the conversation went, the more Alex began to see it as a tangible thing. Sure, it was going to be a hell of a lot of work, but so was his current class list. He'd manage. He always did. "Yeah, I think that's what I'll look into switching to. It can't be that hard. Students switch majors all the time." He had been lucky going into University. He'd thought he'd known what he wanted to study. Oh well. At least he was closer to the beginning than the end of his astrophysics track.

He knew far more than he had at the start of the meeting, that was for sure. He wanted to discuss it all with Ann tonight, but he had a fairly clear idea of what he wanted to do. Maybe the next time he had to be up at Maddock for anything he'd ask about a possible job shadow before the end of summer. "That would be great." He offered the psychiatrist a bright smile. "Really, thank you for taking the time with me today. I have a better idea of what I'm doing now."