Glaring is Caring [Jesse]
Jul 8, 2013 23:59:21 GMT -5
Post by Clement Evans on Jul 8, 2013 23:59:21 GMT -5
It had been two and a half weeks since the fight. Clement was still calling it a fight, too, even though it had been more of a beating. He'd gotten his hits in, and the other guy didn't look so great, but as fights went Clement had clearly come out the loser this time.
It made him grumpy.
Sure, this time the kid he'd fought had been older and a lot bigger (and on fire), but the school fights Clement had been in before had been a lot more even in terms of damage done. This one had been more like what happened to him at home, and paradigm shift was hard to straighten out. School had been the place where fights could be won. Now it wasn't. Clement didn't feel less safe, but he did feel unsettled. There was no separation of school and home anymore. How was he supposed to figure out how to protect himself if everything was combined?
Under his t-shirt, pads of gauze were still taped loosely to his chest over the most serious of the burns. Mostly for protection and to keep the chafing down. The skin was shiny and pink and tight, and had been peeling around the edges in itchy curls. The little plastic tent that had held his broken nose had come off a few days ago, but a strip of gauze was still taped over the area to cover the new skin that had finally formed. Clement's face and chest were still tender, and if he took too sharp a breath or made certain expressions his ribs or healing cheekbone would be assholes about it.
Sitting on a bench outside the dorms, Clement felt small. The school was too big, there were too many kids, too many teachers. If he hadn't needed medical attention, hadn't gotten into that fight, it would be easy to be overlooked. There were a lot of kids at the school like he was, with no parents or family, and as Xavier had proven, kids who were a lot more trouble than he'd ever been. Clement had no need to stand out, never had, but thought he could feel himself becoming... lost. Like he didn't matter. Maybe he'd never mattered. Maybe that had been the problem the whole time.
He didn't know. Clement found himself muttering in Korean more often than not these days, something he'd never done before. He didn't talk to himself, not out loud. But it felt good to hear Korean again, even if it was just himself.
So when he felt something pulling on his shoelaces, he looked down and murmured, "Aigo, jinjja? Tokki?*"
The black rabbit was probably someone's pet, but... where had it come from? His ribs wouldn't let him lean over to touch it, but he bent over as far as he could to allow himself a better look, squinting to focus. "Annyoung, tokki.*"
*aigo, jinjja? tokki? - oh my god, really? a rabbit?
*annyoung, tokki - hi, rabbit
It made him grumpy.
Sure, this time the kid he'd fought had been older and a lot bigger (and on fire), but the school fights Clement had been in before had been a lot more even in terms of damage done. This one had been more like what happened to him at home, and paradigm shift was hard to straighten out. School had been the place where fights could be won. Now it wasn't. Clement didn't feel less safe, but he did feel unsettled. There was no separation of school and home anymore. How was he supposed to figure out how to protect himself if everything was combined?
Under his t-shirt, pads of gauze were still taped loosely to his chest over the most serious of the burns. Mostly for protection and to keep the chafing down. The skin was shiny and pink and tight, and had been peeling around the edges in itchy curls. The little plastic tent that had held his broken nose had come off a few days ago, but a strip of gauze was still taped over the area to cover the new skin that had finally formed. Clement's face and chest were still tender, and if he took too sharp a breath or made certain expressions his ribs or healing cheekbone would be assholes about it.
Sitting on a bench outside the dorms, Clement felt small. The school was too big, there were too many kids, too many teachers. If he hadn't needed medical attention, hadn't gotten into that fight, it would be easy to be overlooked. There were a lot of kids at the school like he was, with no parents or family, and as Xavier had proven, kids who were a lot more trouble than he'd ever been. Clement had no need to stand out, never had, but thought he could feel himself becoming... lost. Like he didn't matter. Maybe he'd never mattered. Maybe that had been the problem the whole time.
He didn't know. Clement found himself muttering in Korean more often than not these days, something he'd never done before. He didn't talk to himself, not out loud. But it felt good to hear Korean again, even if it was just himself.
So when he felt something pulling on his shoelaces, he looked down and murmured, "Aigo, jinjja? Tokki?*"
The black rabbit was probably someone's pet, but... where had it come from? His ribs wouldn't let him lean over to touch it, but he bent over as far as he could to allow himself a better look, squinting to focus. "Annyoung, tokki.*"
*aigo, jinjja? tokki? - oh my god, really? a rabbit?
*annyoung, tokki - hi, rabbit