A Whole Bag of Awkward (Jack)

[Elisia Lark]

Crazy things were happening. Crazy. Like insane. Why was it that the day she turned sixteen, every boy on the face of the planet decided she was fair game? Was it the age? Did she change in some way? She wished she could be fifteen again, at least then everyone left her alone to keep to the back. A wallflower, that's what she was, but yet here she had so many people making that next to impossible. Okay, she didn't mind her friends making it difficult because she loved having people that actually cared about her and made her feel like she was worth something (since her mother didn't seem to think she was). Carter, Callie, Riley, and Lux were all very good friends of hers and she was glad to have them around. But then there was Zac...and she didn't know what to make of that.

After just getting out of a relationship, she was kind of out of whack. One right after the other, she couldn't seem to hold onto any kind of relationship. She'd really liked both boys that she dated, but her mind got in the way and it made things end far too abruptly. And thanks in large part to breaking things off, she lost friends in the process. First with Jack, then Guy. She didn't need it to happen again with Zac, not that she thought anything would come of what happened at the retreat. Nope, she didn't want to believe that the spur of a moment kiss would lead to yet another relationship. As if she needed that.

Ellie was walking through the courtyard, moping because that was just her way lately. Her ipod headphones dangled around her neck, playing as soft background music. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, her ability feeding way too much into her mood. She couldn't wait until she learned control over that, so she could just stop feeling the way that the music that she listened to sounded. As she walked, she didn't pay much attention, her eyes slid shut and just then she accidentally bumped into a rather solid figure. Her eyes snapped open and her body went rigid when she saw who it was.

This couldn't be happening to her.

[Jack Montoya]

Fall, the most colorfully boring time in the entire year. A time when the warm days of summer have gone by far too fast, and the colder days of winter are approaching faster still. Jack hated the cold, but at least it was manageable around this time of year. Sure, it wasn't Australia, but he had been here for a while, so he was pretty attuned to the climate. Never-the-less, he wore a zipped up jacket, a pair of grey sweats, and his running shoes.

The summer was interesting for him. Instead of staying around Hammel, after a pretty disappointing falling out with a Elisia, Jack opted to go on a three month trip to Australia with his family. It was one of those, get the youngest in the family to know her roots better, kind of things. Though she is young, his little sister Aveline enjoyed his home country a lot. A fond memory of getting her to giggle while he blew into a Didgeridoo flashed across his mind as he slowed into a jog, entering the courtyard.

He enjoyed it himself. The warm weather, barbeques with his grandparents and other relatives, sandy beaches and water that stretched for miles, all of it he loved. Though he had spent two thirds of his life there, it was a two thirds he could only recall a few memories from, so when he came back to America at the end of summer vacation, he didn't miss it too much. Besides, he was glad to be back among the people of Hammel, even if it did mean leaving his parents and his little sister again, and the chance of running into her.

As he entered the courtyard, Jack was surprised to see a decent amount of students hanging around. If it were him, he would prefer somewhere indoors, next to a heater. The thought of him and his friends huddling around a heating vent made him smile. His jog slowed into a brisk walk as he ventured further in, casting glances from side to side to see just who was exactly out here.

A crisp wind blew in just as he began to unzip his jacket, bringing his full attention back to zipping up his jacket as quickly as possible, muttering a small curse under his breath. That was when he bumped into a shorter, solid something. Jack quickly moved his hands away from his chest, letting his eyes dart down to the girl he just ran into. "Oh, sorry Ellie." He coo'ed in a far too familiar way, before he could stop himself. Any other words that would have followed those caught in his throat, causing the teen to let out a small cough as he took a step back. "Er.. focused on my jacket." The Aussie offered, casting a glance down toward the sidewalk.

Crap.

[Elisia Lark]

The world must have been out to get her. Yup, that was what she was going with. There was no way she was just this unlucky. Or was there? Gosh, she couldn't believe this nonsense that she got herself into. To think, she'd spent months away from him, without any bumping into him at all. Why now? Why right when she was thinking of him? It was probably the worst possible timing for this to happen. Wasn't it bad enough that she still thought about him and found herself missing him? Ugh, she just wanted to curl in on herself and disappear. It was times like this that she wished she held herself locked up in her room.

And the way he said her name. This was just unfair. Her stomach twisted into a violent knot and she was pretty sure she was going to die if she stood there much longer, just staring up at him. It was a wonder she hadn't burst into flames yet. He was still just as attractive as she could remember. The gorgeous tan skin, the line of his jaw, and that accent...her whole face was burning as these thoughts passed through her mind. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to slip right back into their old ways, but this was her fault. She was the one that had ended it because she got freaked out. Story of her life.

His explanation had her nodding, still gaping at him without trying to. Eventually, Ellie looked away and hugged her torso, attempting to hold herself together in a literal sense. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. Did she apologize? Did she just walk away and avoid anymore awkward confrontation? Elisia didn't handle confrontation well, but she felt horrible. She hated that this was all her fault, just like with Guy. Then again, how could she even know that he was feeling what she felt? He probably didn't even care about her anymore. He probably found someone else. Her stomach clenched and she bit her lip to keep from tearing up.

"I-it's okay...I wasn't paying attention either," She said quietly, her eyes downcast.

[Jack Montoya]

Warmth crept into the Assuie's cheeks the longer he stood there, knowing that if he stayed any longer, he might run the risk of looking like a tanned, sporty tomato. The sight of her brought up fresh pains he had thought he buried deep down back when she first told him that they needed to talk. But, yet again he was getting that sinking feeling in his chest, like it had just happened all over again.

This was unfair, maybe there was a meta school in Australia. Why should he have to move to Australia? Elisia should move. The quick and angry thought crept into his mind, only to be replaced by a bigger blush and slightly more awkward embarrassment. His deep brown eyes darted back toward her own, bringing even more heat to his face as he saw the way she gaped at him, like the day at the pool. He should have kept looking away, no, he should have walked away as soon as he saw her and dialed up Blaire. She would have advice to give him, something he sorely needed right now.

Jack liked to think that he wasn't a mess after Elie dumped him, as he wasn't, but he wasn't close to completely ok either. She has been the first girl to ever break up with him, even worse it was the first girl he started to care about for more than just what she had to offer on the outside. He hadn't moved on the entire summer trip, he was too distracted by family to go after girls, at least that is what he told himself. Another flash of angry thoughts coursed through his head, replaced by the same aching.

When she spoke, he chanced another stare toward her, attempting to speak, yet fumbling over his words. "How.. was your summer?" Asked Jack in a strained voice.

[Elisia Lark]

The way he looked at her. It was like he was just as conflicted as she was. It wouldn't have surprised her, then again, it might have. She was so convinced that he had already gotten over her. Why wouldn't he? What was she anyway? Nothing. She was just some awkward girl that didn't know how to have a relationship and pushed people away whenever they got too close. Ellie wished she could blame her mother for it, for not giving her the chance to see an actual working relationship, but she couldn't. It wasn't her mother's fault that her father was gay. And she was witnessing a working relationship through her fathers, yet she still didn't know how to do this.

When he chanced talking to her, she found herself looking up at him and she was lost again. All thoughts that had been filling her mind were now gone as she looked into those big brown eyes of his. He really was beautiful. And they shared a love of music. And they had gotten along so well. Why oh why did she ruin everything that could possibly be good in her life? Why? Was she out to ruin her own future? It seemed like it, the way that she constantly killed every chance at happiness. Carter told her that she had such a long time to find happiness, yet all she wanted was to be happy now and as of late, she'd been lacking happiness way too much. Not even the little moments with Zac had brought her out of this slump she was in. And running into Jack wasn't helping her situation.

"It could have been better..." with him. Okay, now she needed to stop. If she went down this path, both of them would just get hurt again. She didn't want to hurt him. She just wanted to go back to normal, being able to talk to him without feeling so unsure of herself. She chewed on her lower lip and could feel the area beneath her eyes burning like she was about to cry. As tears welled up in her eyes, she looked down and gulped back the lump in her throat. "H-how was yours?" She asked without looking at him.

[Jack Montoya]

Jack wished he could tell what was going on behind those stormy eyes, right now more than ever. She didn't even seem there when she was talking to her. Well, there, but far off, deep inside a conflicting mind probably not far from his own. He wanted to speak, he wanted to talk to her about that final conversation they shared months ago, he wanted to tell her how alone she made him feel, he wanted to get angry, he wanted to hold her. He wanted her.

The teen shook his head, trying to concentrate, but in turn only scattering his thoughts farther throughout his mind. Why was it so hard to talk to her now, when it had been so easy during the winter. Those days they sang together, the first time they kissed. Sure, it was a shy way of talking, their first actual flirty moments, but it was nothing like this. He wanted to crawl off and die, the mix of emotions inside of him was something he had never felt before, and wasn't sure if he wanted to feel this way again.

The longer he stared at her, the more uneasy he felt. Why couldn't he just reach out and touch her shoulder... or something, what if she had moved on. She didn't seem like the girl who got boyfriends fast, not because she wasn't interesting, or pretty, but because of just the way she was. That was one of the things he loved about here. There it was again, that stupid word.

As she answered, he knew he lost all chance of escape. Even though he was the one who brought them into this conversation, he was desperately the one trying to get out of it. At least he was until he noticed the tears welling in her eyes. Did he do something wrong? Did something bad happen over the summer? The urge to reach out toward her became only stronger, the longer she stood there. The Aussie felt an unfamiliar heat behind his eyes.

When she asked him how his summer was, he felt as if he was punched in the stomach. All the reserves he had left within him deflated as the start of tears began to well up in his eyes as well. "I, spent it with my family in Australia." Answered Jack, gulping as he spoke. He didn't realise how bad he hurt until now, looking at her. "I spent my birthday on the beach." He added, wishing he hadn't. She hadn't been there during his birthday, like he had her's, it was an odd thing to think about, but it still stung.

[Elisia Lark]

She should have walked. Right then. She could have left before getting pulled deeper into conversing with him. If only she was rude enough to cut him off and walk, but she wasn't. And she wasn't sure she wanted to walk away from him. Not now, not like she had before. Her mind occasionally drifted back to their last conversation when she least expected it. At least when she had been with Guy it had posed as a distraction (a painful one). And despite the fact that she ended it for the same reason, he did help her understand how to handle some of the parts that went into a relationship. He helped her feel comfortable enough to be affectionate and feel even somewhat confident in herself. But her big problem still stuck.

She didn't know how to open up and let any boy get close enough to her heart.

His voice changed in some way and she looked up, the tears filling to the brim before spilling over slowly. One tear at a time, they slid down her cheeks. She saw tears fill his own eyes and she just wanted to hug him. It wasn't fair. Not being able to comfort him and give him affection like she was dying to. She knew it was inappropriate. They weren't together. They weren't even friends. So she kept her arms folded tightly around her, sure that if she let go of herself that she'd fall apart right in front of him. It was bad enough that she was crying in front of him and making him upset, the last thing she needed was to let him see how much it hurt her seeing him and not being able to do what she wanted.

He spoke of his summer and she nodded slowly, her ability making her brain tingle a bit as she sensed a song change. And the song change only made her feel worse. The world was out to ruin her. As the song began, she sucked in a shaky breath and could feel the tears coming a little faster. It didn't help that he spoke of his birthday and she couldn't believe that she missed it. He had been there for hers, in fact, he made it so much better than she could have imagined. Yet, she wasn't there for his. What kind of friend was she? Oh right...she wasn't one. Her chest started rising and falling quickly and she couldn't hold it back much more, the tears were pouring down her cheeks, but she stayed quiet for a moment. "I-I'm s-sorry I missed it..." God she had to get out of here. She was breaking.

Ellie gulped again and wiped at her eyes frantically, "I-I've g-gotta go." She turned on her heel and started walking away from him. It wasn't as though he'd follow and she hadn't cut him off. As her back turned towards him, she fell apart and it took all she had not to collapse to the ground. All she had to do was make it back to the dorm...

She could do that, right?

[Jack Montoya]

Why was he so stupid? He shouldn't of continued talking, he could have walked on past her like he hadn't been affected by what had happened during the last school year, but now he couldn't. All the acting he had in him was spent, and he just stood there, his vision foggy, not a focus in the world but on the girl standing in front of him. This emotion was too intense, it had been building up for a while now, and he was starting to let it go now. he was starting to loose it.

There was nothing stopping him from reaching out and comforting her, psychically, so the problem was obviously within his conflicting mind. Right then he wished he had a rewind button, instead of his stupid fish scales, that she was never ever grossed out by. And yet again, it starts. All the good times they had together, their love of music, the small things they could share before it abruptly ended for them both. Why did she break up with him?

Tears silently streaked her cheeks, and all he could do was grab at his arm, flinching inwardly. Why would he start crying? It was stupid to make her feel bad over something she wasn't ready for, was that why he talked about his birthday, to make her feel bad? Or to make him feel less guilty for not trying harder to help the girl in front of him.

He spoke of his summer, and he noticed her face dropping further, her posture getting more meek by the second. The birthday comment was the straw that broke the camel's back, it was obvious as her face crumpled and her voice crackled out a blubbering apology. She was really crying now, and he felt tears of his own trailing down his cheeks. They both ached, he knew that much.

She excused herself, trying to move away from him as quickly as possible. Instead of letting her go, jack found himself putting a hand, gently on her shoulder, then a bit more rough to get a better grasp as he turned her around. Before either of them could say anything he pulled himself close to her and hugged her tightly to his chest, hesitantly whispering into her ear. "Don't go Ellie.." He gulped, still blinking tears out of his eyes, saying the words he should have said a long time ago.

[Elisia Lark]

He should have let her go. Why didn't he just let her go? Was he keen on torturing her too? Was this his way of getting back at her for breaking up with him? Didn't he understand how much she was hurting as it was? She couldn't express how much it hurt. Her chest ached, her stomach twisted and turned; she was a mess. But she didn't want him to see this. She wanted to pretend like she could handle whatever life threw at her when it came to boys and heartbreaks. She wasn't the girl that let a boy define her, she wasn't the girl that let a boy become her whole life. And yet, she was still so hurt by his reaction, by his words. Maybe it would have been easier if both of them just ignored each other and went on with their lives separately. No, she didn't want that, but it could have been easier.

When she turned, she hadn't expected him to say anything, to do anything. Ellie just expected to make it to her dorm with no conflict except coming close to falling because she couldn't see through her blurry vision. His hand on her shoulder sent a jolt through her and her stomach clenched tightly making her feel even more sick. She wanted to pull away, she wanted to keep walking, but he didn't let her. Jack spun her around so she was facing him and as her eyes trailed up to his face, he pulled her in close. She couldn't hold back anymore. Her resolve broke and she clutched at him right back, burying her face in his chest. Elisia didn't care if she got his jacket wet with tears. She didn't care if she was hugging him too tight. She just wanted to keep him there for a little longer.

The words he whispered in her ear caused her to tighten her grip on him and she shook with each racking sob that passed through her. This whole crying thing wasn't fun. Not at all. Ellie eventually moved her arms from around his torso to around his neck and and she rested her cheek against his shoulder, sniffling quietly. "I'm so sorry, Jack. I didn't mean for things to get like this...I'm sorry," She said over and over again, unable to just let things be. The guilt that had been piling on top of her shoulders was finally being let go with each apology and through each tear.

[Jack Montoya]

Jack couldn't remember the last time he got this emotional. Thinking back on it, as he held onto Ellie for dear life, there were really only two times he had felt horrid enough to cry, besides all those little childish things that all young kids cry over. The first time was when he had moved from Australia to follow his sister. It surprised him, that he didn't cry when she left, but how could he? He was six, so young, and only got even more attention when she was gone from his life.

The second time being when he had to leave his family, to follow in his mother's footsteps. Things hadn't hit him then until that first night in a bed that was not his, the one he would have until he was bumped up into Co-Ed dorms years later.

This was the first time he had cried with someone else before, it felt different, real, as he held onto her. Letting out the initial emotions was something that was hard for him to do, expecialy with all the sideways glances they would get, as students passed them by. Eventually, with his emotions spent, the teen lifted his head as she rested her cheek on his shoulder, letting out an occasional spent sniffle.

Her apologies ran through his head like thick syrup, clogging up in all the wrong places where they should have passed right through. After about her tenth apology, Jack finally found the ability to speak. "It isn't your fault.. Ellie. I shouldn't have rushed into a relationship you weren't ready for..." He offered, letting his own apology out in a small voice as he recalled the words she gave to him the night she dumped him. Maybe if I hadn't kissed her at the pool.... so soon... so stupid.

[Elisia Lark]

Ellie was sick of crying. She had been doing it far too often as of late and she didn't know how to stop it. This was probably the most she had cried since she was a child. Very rarely had she ever felt the need to cry and now she was crying over boys? What was with that? Boys hadn't even been on her mind until the middle of last year and the sad part was that he'd been the first boy she ever had a crush on. And here she was, so close to him, yet she knew she was farther than what it looked. She had her chance and she blew it. He didn't want her and she wasn't allowed to have him anyway. He wasn't hers and she wasn't allowed to have him. Nope. She could just dismiss that thought before it hurt her further.

But it was appealing to think of. Falling right back into his arms, as if they never stopped liking each other. She had to admit, as much as she had liked Guy, she never totally lost feelings for Jack. Elisia had tried so hard to dismiss the feelings she still had for him and it worked for the longest time. But now that he was standing in front of her, looking as broken as she felt, those feelings came rushing back. And with it, came all of the memories she had with him. New York, the pool, as short lived as their relationship had been, she couldn't help remember the great times they spent together. She really had liked him. And she still did, as much as she wanted to deny it.

He lifted his head and she looked up at him as he spoke. She couldn't believe that he was taking the blame though. This was all on her, how could he possibly think it was his fault? All he did was care about her and she turned around and ripped his heart out like a heartless wench. Oh gosh, she was horrible. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve anyone. She was going to just end up alone forever with a bunch of cats. If she could even manage to keep the cats alive.

Elisia cupped his cheek with her hand and brushed her thumb beneath his eyes to brush the tears away, "N-no. It wasn't that. I went along with it...if I didn't want it, I wouldn't have let you go through with it. I shouldn't have led you on like that, I didn't know what I was getting myself into and in the end it hurt us both and I'm such a horrible person." And there went the rambling that she was infamous for.

[Jack Montoya]

Funny, the last thing he imagined would happen today was happening right now. If things like this happened more often, he'd be a millionaire space commander on his way to mars, but even that was just slightly less confusing and maybe even exciting than what was happening right now. They went from bumping into each other, to tearing up, to holding each other in no time flat. Jack tried to remember back to when he first hit puberty, what an emotional rollercoaster, and he was still on it.

When they were together, they would have been like this in much happier circumstances. Hanging around with her in New York, the day she didn't reject him when she found out he was part fish, the days they sang their songs together. Why couldn't they be like that again? They were happy, or at least he thought she was, he knew he was. Maybe he was imagining things, or maybe she just got confused. A frown crossed over his lips as she apologized, talking about how she was such a horrible person. She wasn't horrible, she was confused.

He probably shouldn't, but after all that had just happened, Jack didn't even care, as he leaned closer to her and softly pressed his lips against her own. It didn't take that long for him to pull away and glance down at her. He reached up and gently took her hand of his face. "Nah, Ellie. You are perfect." He whispered, a small goofy grin replacing his frown. With that, he held her hand for a bit longer. Why couldn't they be together again? What was so wrong with giving it another shot. There were too many questions, and after what he did they both needed to think. Without another word the Aussie stepped away, gently letting her hand go as he slipped off toward his dorm building.