Running From Lions (Evony)

[Evony Vasiliev]

For the briefest second Evony was actually taken aback by Lucy's statement. She deserved it? The stark sincerity that it was spoken with took the girl off guard, that is until she remembered who she was dealing with. Lucy played the game close to her chest and it clearly didn't matter who got hurt in the process, as long as she protected that stubborn hide of hers. "What did I do to deserve it? I made one mistake and I'm left in the cold?! One fucking mistake! Why would it even matter if you never even cared?" Evony rebutted, feeling her chest tighten with an uncomfortable itch. The admission hurt more than she hoped it would.

Even with her voice lowered, the Blue Bird could do nothing to rid her words of the pain that wrapped itself with every bitter sentence. Two months of confusion, self-loathing and regret had led up to this? The thought disgusted her.

"Tell me what I lied about?" She growled, frustrated with Lucy and the topic on her questionable honesty. Although some part of her already knew what the answer may have been, something she locked away because of the embarrassment.

Evony could feel Lucy's eyes on her even when she couldn't see them. It was like those nights together, wrapped in a comfortable cocoon with the girl, when things were a lot better. But that didn't matter anymore, or so the acrobat tirelessly tried to convince herself. Lucy believed it...so why couldn't she?

Having her pain dismissed however, was a step too far on Lucy's part. Two months of this torment and it was nothing? "I am hurting! Don't you dare tell me how I should feel!" Evony raggedly paused, steadying herself as her breaths began to shorten. Not now. "You...you were the last person I wanted to hurt but I guess now you're the liar because it never fucking mattered to you anyways! How can something that never apparently existed hurt you? You said it yourself, so you know what? Good job playing me for the fool and exposing a moment of weakness." Evony cringed, gulping in air and feeling the hot sting behind her eyes. The cloying humidity in the room was affecting her, it had to be.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy was glad the room was so dark when Evony spoke, else she might have cracked with the look her face was offering. She wasn't angry; not in that moment. It was clear that Evony had never listened - all those moments in that fight where the Australian swore she didn't care about the people she brought up. Because the person she did care for was the one she couldn't openly say it to.

But it should have been obvious.

"You know." She replied. The answer was everything. Evony had lied about everything. The one mistake rid Lucy's mentality of any trust she might have placed in the other girl. Because it was more than just one thing - it represented everything.

She clenched her jaw; a move stolen by the younger twin who'd done wonders to shake her mentality in a moment of weakness. But Evony couldn't see it. Lucy's eyes slowly adjusted to relying on the miniscule amount of light she had. It was enough to see an outline. It was enough to expose muddled features. She at least knew where she was physically standing. Leaning inward, Lucy reached out and physically gripped the material that clad Evony's shoulder; "I know exactly how you feel." She seethed, her eyes narrowing despite how inconspicuous what she was looking at was.

"Because I know you. I know you. You're desperate. You're lonely, and you're manipulative." She felt her tone diminish of all potential warmth, her words cold like ice in her throat; "I gave you a chance - one chance to be the person you were supposed to be, and you fucked it all up!" The Australian unfurled her fingers from the material she'd clung to so desperately, turning away and facing the door. Her hand was against the handle again, as if somehow she could will the thing to unlock itself.

[Evony Vasiliev]

The simple answer dragged out a level of discomfort the acrobat could barely comprehend, she knew. Of course she knew but was she willing to admit it? Facing such a large failure and bringing it up would surely mark the end of this tragedy. But the more she dwelled on it the more it ravaged her conscious. Evony couldn't of been the mastermind behind the entirety of it, as far as she knew there had been some bumps along the way but was she really the cause of breaking what she thought to be so beautiful?

Hurting Lucy was never something the Blue Bird wanted to do, but it seemed the further she wandered into this expansive new world of affection it only ended in torment. Was she forever stuck in guilt ridden loveless limbo with nothing more than lust to hold onto? The thought made her shiver and force her arms to clutch her body tight, the paranoia was only making it worse.

When she felt the hand grip her shoulder part of her actually wanted to grab it and keep it there.

Two months. Two months without the strange sensation and it felt painfully familiar as it did horribly foreign. Her body stiffened at the warmth and for a moment she feared the girl was going to strike her in the dark. But words were Lucy's weapons, not her fists.

"No, you don't." Evony said much more quietly, bewildered at the peculiar admission. Did Lucy know how it felt to constantly look over her shoulder out of fear, did she understand the hollow feeling of waking up next to stranger just to get a fix and cool down the raging burn that screamed for attention? Could she even comprehend going to bed feeling guilty for every little mistake that has happened in her life? Even though it was dark Evony shook her head in disbelief. Lucy only knew a part of her, the part that was easy and the least distressing.

But there it was, her three virtues as described by the Australian. Desperate, lonely and manipulative. Maybe one of them was correct but the girl had to force herself from releasing another frustrated tirade against the slander.

"You think I didn't try? Every single night I was with you I was hoping that I wouldn't do anything to annoy you and make you reconsider. Every single night, and now...and now I'm forced to act like none of what we had mattered? I can't fucking do that, I can't take back those memories and no matter how hard I try to forget it I can't take back the kiss that fucked this all up." Evony trembled, feeling the heat in her voice rise once more, the room was forcing her to survive. "But you know what? I'll keep trying to regain what we lost even if it kills me because that was the greatest thing to ever happen to me." She confessed, blindly, stupidly and honestly. But it took a toll and the girl quickly slumped into the corner, her body slipping back onto the floor.

"Lucy, I can't forget about it. Every waking moment I think of ways I could've made this work and yet here we are..." Her voice shuddered with a painful laugh, "...trapped."

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy reached for the familiar; the instinctive moves that made her who she was. She ran her fingers along the line of her jaw, as if it somehow soothed each numbing blow that came with each and every word she spoke. It didn't even matter what she said. It was her voice. Lucy - now steady in the situation she had no control over - let the accented fragments wash over her.

But she couldn't forget. And she couldn't forgive. Because she was right.

So she clenched her jaw again, her eyebrows furrowing out of necessity. She wasn't making any sense, and Lucy's blood ran too hot to allow her to listen to any impending voices of reason. "It's not the greatest thing that ever happened to you." She repeated with intention. "If it was so important, you wouldn't have destroyed it. That's how I know it's bullshit." There. It was out now. But before she had a chance, the Australian thought to continue.

"It doesn't exist." She said. Simply. As if it were a well known fact. By now, it should have been. Glancing down at where she was sure Evony was, Lucy contemplated for a moment before opening her mouth again; "Get up."

Simple. A small, seemingly insignificant instruction. She didn't sound angry. She wasn't.

[Evony Vasiliev]

Pale fingers tugged at the ends of what used to be bright cerulean hair, the full sting on her scalp taking away some of the pain that was growing in her chest. Air came in through the nose and out through the mouth and yet every breath seemed shorter and more strained. The girl barely had the energy to stay focused after her stupid confession and she say perfectly still. Waiting for the inevitable.

"You have no idea." Evony breathed, exhausted with the argument and thinking back to the moments prior to meeting the Australian. Sure there were highlights, leaping through the air in a circus and bowing to crowds of people. But they were strangers, people who no longer mattered and they only took the girl as the performer and not as the whole package. She was a fickle, moody, overly cautious kleptomaniac with affection problems, and yet Lucy actually took that in. Well, as long as it lasted anyways.

"It wasn't bullshit. You're lying to yourself..." Evony uttered, lightly banging her head against the wall to rid herself of the frustration. Why couldn't Lucy just believe her? The thief struggled with the fact and gnawed on her tounge piercing to distract herself. In through the nose and out through the mouth she reminded herself, feeling her heart hammer against her chest as it waited. Waited for either the room or the Australian to wreck her.

Lucy managed to clear up the girl's concerns and finally force her fear into a reality. It doesn't exist. So then why couldn't she let go of it? It couldn't end like this, not after everything. Sure, there was a gargantuan pile of shit that blocked any hope of returning to what once was but to have it simply erased just seemed cruel.

The Australian's new demand caught Evony by surprise, not by its simplicity but by the way she said it. She sounded calm, the icy qualities to her voice had all but disappeared. There was a multitude of signals demanding she ignore the girl. Her mind hurt, her heart hurt and her legs felt like splintered wood and yet she sucked in her pride and slowly rose back up, leaning against the wall just in case she fell back down.

"...why?" She mumbled back, even though she was already standing. As coiled around her chest eyes scanning the suffocating blackness of the room for any signs of trickery. What was happening?

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

"I'm not." Lucy reassured her sharply. It was true; there was no proof of otherwise. Lucy worked with hard facts. And the fact was that Evony and her decision had decimated everything. She could have quipped that she - not the Australian - was the liar. But it seemed cheap and unnecessary at that point.

Beyond that, Lucy was quiet. Even when Evony asked her the question with as equal simplicity as her request.

She closed her eyes in the silence, shrouding herself in the notion that whatever she did was her decision. It wouldn't make a difference. It wouldn't change any other mind but that of her former counterpart.

The Australian reached out and pressed her hands against Evony's shoulders; gentle against the memory of her recent abrupt harshness. She slowly moved her hands across her collarbone, along the curve of her neck to hold her face. Her thumbs grazed across the skin of her cheeks. Leaning inward, she resided within a moment of hesitation before she continued on. And in the next moment, she'd pressed her lips to those of her former counterpart. She kissed her willingly. She harboured no resentment towards her; no ill feelings. Lucy kissed her with every positive intention; with everything she felt she had left to give.

And so, when she drawled herself away her voice dropped, her conviction shaking; "Nothing."

She was lying.

[Evony Vasiliev]

The suffocating blackness and the heavy silence proved to be a formidable duo, especially with the addition of concealed Australian. Evony attempted to subdue her breaths, to momentarily calm the storm that raged inside and focus on the person in front of her. Lucy was her joy and her despair and the Blue Bird braced herself for whatever was to come next.

Even though her sight was robbed from her, Evony heard the movement and felt the Australian close in on her. Her heart trembled, dancing to the silent songs of the nostalgia that came flooding back into her mind. Could she of comprehended what happened next, the thief wasn't entirely sure, but she felt something melt in her chest the instance Lucy touched her.

She did not flinch.

The girl felt her breath catch in her throat, the excuses little more than air on her tongue. Something within her told her to resist, to return to their argument and solve the prickly wedge that divided them. But her body refused, and for once, the thief played her part well.

She accepted the kiss eagerly as if it were the last, a final reminder of the good moments they shared together? Her fingers tugged at the bottom of the Australian's shirt, pulling the girl closer, just to wrap herself in the warmth that had been missing for two months. It was unhindered and it was raw, and the little thief fiercely took what was given only until Lucy pulled away.

Evony couldn't see the brown eyes but she imagined they were there, looking at her and she stared back into the darkness, hoping to keep her mind on the girl and not on her paranoia.

"You know I can't believe that.", she whispered, not yet letting go of Lucy just in case this was some painful act of closure. Because there was always something, no matter how small or insignificant. Nothingness did not even come into the equation.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy accepted rare indulging moments. More often than she would have liked to. But she wasn't an unfeeling, emotionally vapid robot; she wasn't devoid of the basic human need for companionship. The way she'd cut Dom out of her existence was more than enough proof of that. And if she could do that with him, surely she could approach this with as much tact.

But it was difficult. Just as it had been with the blonde who pulled her in close and kissed her with definite traces of desire. Without fear. Her actions betrayed her - the way she willingly accepted every single point of contact. The way she gave up what power and drive she had when Evony pulled her forward. She let herself be kissed, and she reacted with everything she had left.

To get it out of her system.

But her voice was sharp, like a knife against her own throat.

The corner of her mouth twisted into a frown. She'd told the girl before, time and time again. She'd repeat it all until her voice ran dry. She wasn't who people seemed to think she was. Where they got this impression that she could be a caring, compassionate individual was beyond her. It was like she lost control of her resolve, and trying to get the damn thing back on track matched the complexity of an ill-forged rubik's cube.

"You have to." Lucy conceded. "Make it easy for me."

Still, she didn't move her hands from where they were. They were shaking. "Be nothing."

[Evony Vasiliev]

Evony couldn't deny that she was more than likely the cause of the self destruction of their bond. It had been a brittle road to get where they got and one act of weakness had costed her dearly. Regret was a powerful emotion and it urged the girl to repay the Australian with as much attention as possible, clawing at the stubborn wall that had been unceremoniously dumped in between them. The blue haired waif needed to get out of the room as much as she needed Lucy there with her and very close contact sought to torment her even further.

Her hands felt numb scrunched up at the bottom of Lucy's shirt, as if they were holding on for dear life.

So it took a considerable amount of effort to let go with one hand and gently place it against the girl's heart. She wanted to feel it, experience before it could be lost. There was fevered rhythm, quick and strong, pulsating through Lucy's heart and resonating with her own panicked organ. She had never done this before, it was strange and new and utterly frightening stuff.

"This was never easy." She answered firmly, and it did not seem to be getting any simpler any time soon. If this was meant fo end why was there no letting go, on either side? Evony could feel the heat and the heavy weight that pressed against her chest, whether it was good or bad was yet to be discovered. "Is that what you really want, nothing?" Evony whispered, slowly recoiling her hand from Lucy's chest before reaching up to clasp one of trembling hands on her face. Warm, Lucy was always so warm.

"Because I've never been very good at following instructions.." She smiled briefly, bringing Lucy's hand down to her own chest. Thumpity-thumpity-thumpity it cried out, smashing against her ribcage. Words could never convey such a message.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy experienced a very brief rush of relief when Evony finally let her go. She convinced herself that she did it with conviction - that she meant it in every form. She was agreeing.

Wasn't she?

In the dark, she felt herself become vulnerable with the newest point of physical contact. She looked down, even if she knew she couldn't see anything. Bringing her heartbeat into the mix as a point of reference made its erratically chased beating a thing. She felt exposed. Like - and by proxy, her own body - was betraying her. She knew it wasn't easy, that it wasn't ever going to have been easy. So of course an easy escape wasn't an option. It provided false hope.

Did she even want it?

When her hand moved, her other one dropped, wrapping around her abdomen like it was destined to hold her together. She couldn't believe she was at this crossroad. Again. With a different person. She felt the obvious notion that sprung from an equally erratic heartbeat that resided within her former counterpart.

"You're-" Lucy began, though she knew neither of her optional answers started with the word. "You're ruining me."

Because she realised, one way or the other, that this was how it happened last time. She couldn't forget. "You're actually stealing parts of me, don't you get that?" It was so painfully ironic, she wanted to laugh. But she couldn't; "And I let you. Or maybe I didn't know, but when I looked back, so many things were missing." Slowly, the Australian drew her hand back again, letting it fall to her side. "And there you were; unhidden, telling me all these things and making be believe them. You were forcing me to believe that this thing actually was a thing to you." Turning away, she started taking steps again. Despite the darkness, she seemed to know her way around.

"That's why you're a liar. Because you made me think you wouldn't do this. You made me think that I could trust you." Feeling her way around the shelves, she overtly shoved things to the ground. Books, paperwork, supplies. It didn't matter. It was like an outlet for everything, but there was something more. Her fingers clung to the shelves. The hardened surface provided real stability.

"So... Yeah. I want you to be nothing, because I want you to be what you are. You built everything you said on false fucking ground! You made this meaningless!" Lucy slammed her palms against the shelving unit once. Again. Twice more. She hit at the obsolete thing until her palms stung. And when she was done, she exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding and her shoulders hunched over. It was exhausting.

She was exhausting. But the exalted sigh she'd given quelled her voice. "So if I'm nothing to you," The Australian began, speaking low, "You get to be nothing to me."

[Evony Vasiliev]

The tension Evony hoped to rid within the cramped prison looked to be on the verge of succeeding, physical contact tended to be deciding factor in many things. The little thief had learnt that the day she punched a certain boy ih the face. It was already stressful enough being trapped in a space no bigger than a bathroom but having to deal with this alongside a particularly vocal Australian was the icing on the unfortunate cake of bad luck.

But the contact was shattered and shrouded ink manipulator returned to the topic at hand, something which did need clarification even if the process was bound to be uncomfortable.

Evony cringed under the new admission, her fingernails scraping at the walls surrounding her as she tried to make sense of it. The last thing she wanted was to ruin Lucy, destruction wasn't her thing and the confession ushered in a bitter self evaluation. If what Lucy said was true then was this 'thing' healthy? Father would say cast away anything that hopes to destroy you and the painful realisation felt all the more jarring. Was she just detrimental to Lucy? Doubts upon doubts tumbled into her mind and the Blue Bird remained silent, thinking hard and fast about what was spoken.

"I never wanted to ruin you." She answered quietly, feeling her tongue go numb under the weight of her twisted vocabulary. Why couldn't Lucy speak Hungarian?

Evy fumbled under the weight of the choking blackness, tugging at the end of her hair as she focused on the breathing. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Stessing herself even further would most definitely force her to claw at the door handle again...but she needed this, she needed to talk to this girl and discover where everything went wrong and how she could fix it.

"Lucy...I thought, I mean I believed you were willing to share that..." Evony fumbled for the word, "...part of you with me. All of this did and still does matter to me!" The girl said worriedly, now clutching her hair out of frustration, knowing her efforts at persuasion were likely lost on Lucy. "It was real, I don't know how I can prove that to you but it really was to me." She pressed on, stamping her foot in annoyance at herself. A moment of weakness ruined all of this and as much as she wanted to escape Evony couldn't allow herself to return to wallowing in regret. Having Lucy reveal her pain hurt like blunt knife through her heart and Evony scraped away at the confines of her mind for the right thing to say, but all she was left with was foreign swear words.

The resounding clangour of Lucy's unseen assault on the contents of the room only served to panic Evony even further, nervous itches crawling up her arms like a swarm of bugs.

"No! That's not true! Please, just listen to me. I know I fucked up but I can't...I don't want this to end. This isn't nothing and neither are you, I just...I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to make you understand." Evy desperately retorted, taking a step forward and wishing that touching the girl was as easy as it once was. "I can't let you think that, because that's the biggest lie of them all. You are special to me and even though it wasn't perfect, what we had felt...real. Because it was real, it had to be real and realness hurts and it's everything that made what we had worth the time and the energy. You're just...too much to be nothing to me."Evony argued, feeling her conviction rise up in place of her numb tongue.

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy's breath hung heavily in the air. She wasn't the type to suffer from claustrophobia, but being stuck in this room for any longer was going to force her to implode. The stress caused her head to ache as her mind raced, trying to catch everything that was offered. Trying to remember everything she'd offered.

There was a searing pain in the back of her mind. Like she knew she'd given too much away.

Everything Evony offered felt numb, devoid of the answer she'd been searching for.

"I can't understand." She offered the dull response. But frustration was and always had been evident in her voice. Her tone was quiet, now. As if she'd given up on everything. As if her mind had already started shutting down. "It doesn't make sense to me."

Moving away from the wall again, she stared into nothing, but curled her fingers around something in her hand. Something important. Slowly, the Australian turned on a heel and her eyes caught the sliver of light underneath the door. With it - faded as it was - she could get her bearings. She could figure out where she was and where she needed to go. Walking back to the door, she fumbled around in the silence. The clatter. The jingle. The shift.

She pressed down on the handle, and it opened.

The rush of light caught her dark eyes by surprise, even though she'd caused it. Lucy briefly held her eyes shut to give them at least some time to adjust. She stood still for a time. Stagnant, breathing in the rush of light. She turned back, glancing over her shoulder. "I mis-" Lucy started, her lips pursing. That wasn't right; "Your hair looks like shit, y'know."

And as she took steps towards the classroom's exit, she tossed the keys idly towards the clutter on the teacher's desk.

[Evony Vasiliev]

By then, Evony was so caught up in the moment that she only felt the dull burn of her scalp getting teared at when she took in an exhausted gulp of air. Her hands were locked on her hair, clutching the pasty blue-blonde so tight that her fingers throbbed. Letting go left deep fingernail shaped wounds in her palms, not that she could see them. Feeling the pain was all that mattered in this darkness.

As much as her frustration demanded she continue fighting for what she believed to be right Evony was close to reaching breaking point. She could feel it, the tightness in her chest and the shorter, shallower breaths. This was torture, but not one worth publicising any further.

The girl needed something to lighten the atmosphere, literally and figuratively. Lucy's response was dry and simple, something which only served to worry the Blue Bird even further. Was there no closure? The Australian's cryptic nature was one of life's many mysterious and yet in that moment all she wanted to do was shake the girl and beg for something straightforward, something that would make her understand as well.

But her brief fantasy was ruined by a jingle that made her tingle.

A hollow gasp escaped Evony's throat at the heavenly click and her body welcomed the searing light that barged into the suffocating prison. She did not wait for her eyes to adjust, her feet were already scrambling through the door and her mouth was drinking in the cool air as if it were water in a desert.

But this momentary elation came to a halt at the sound of the Australian's voice, which was almost at the exit. Evony caught the girl's gaze and bit her tongue, watching and waiting.

"Shut up." She answered thoughtlessly, frowning at the distinct lack of signature blue in her hair. It was true, her hair looked like shit, but she wasn't going to give Lucy the satisfaction of knowing that. But her mouth kept moving even when she knew it shouldn't of.

"Wait, you can't go. We have to finish this, I have to know. I...I can't deal not knowing what I need to know about -" the girl stopped herself, fumbling through her mind for the right word. She'd already gone in too deep to save herself. "...You."

[Lucy Serrano-Blaise]

Lucy didn't think - she breathed the shortest, simplest exhaling laugh. She liked those words. She liked to use them, and she liked to hear them given back to her. If nothing else, it meant she'd left something of an impression.

But she turned away anyway with every intention of leaving. She didn't stop in her stride when Evony started talking.

Her mouth twisted into something of a frown. The doorway was right there, within arms reach. But still, Lucy stopped. And glanced back over her shoulder. Contemplation coloured her features, darkening her eyes as she very briefly turned their gaze to the ground. She knew she didn't have an answer. "What do you need to know? Didn't I say enough?" Lucy asked, shrugging her shoulders almost defiantly. "What do you want me to say?"

[Evony Vasiliev]

The not-so-blue Blue Bird had to stifle a grin at the momentary laugh, hoping it relieved some tension; although with Lucy that seemed rather unrealistic. But she tried, and for a second the girl was relieved at the response. Bt it passed as quickly as it came and she was left staring at Lucy's back.

In all honesty, Evony had no idea how she was supposed to save the moment, all she knew was that it was worth saving with every ounce of strength and stubbornness she had left.

Taking a step forward Evony felt the palpable weight crush the space between them, she couldn't get any closer without risking more failure. "Just...is this it?" She swallowed, clenching her fists tight to rid her hands of their shaking. But it wasn't enough, Evony knew she needed more. "Are we done? Is this really nothing now?" Her heart lurched in her chest at mentioning the dreaded finale of everything she fought so hard for.

"I need to know..." Evony uttered, taking another devastatingly stupid step forward.