Blinded By The Light

[Deleted]

Kieron’s words were flattering and the compliment itself didn’t need any correction. The moment he began to question the interpretation behind his own statement though, Mae had gently smiled. She could have followed him into the bedroom to reassure the nurse that no offense had been taken, but the butterflies were flailing quite actively and she knew that it would not help her bring out coherent sentences. If only, it would make things even more awkward for both of them than just for Kieron. Besides, maybe she was looking for too much behind this. Perhaps that made her see things that were not there. And attachment still was not her forte.

The blue sweater did provide some warmth and Mae knew it would only be a matter of time before the cold was completely eliminated. She definitely did appreciate the gesture, but at the same time it also made her feel kind of bad to be the one to tug on something dry and warm before he did – the one in wet and icy cold clothes. Rolling up the fabric went quite smoothly. Maebelle did struggle more with the soaked side though, seeing it formed some resistance and in turn that made her extra careful for she didn’t want to force the man to end up making an abrupt movement. Once it had all gathered at his neck, and with him ducking his head forward, the brunette could drag it over his hair until only his arms were still in the sleeves. Her own arms moved by his sides as she slowly tugged the shredded shirt down until it hit the floor in a pathetic pile.

A faint glimpse had been cast at his back during the process, but it had not fully dawned upon the young woman until hands got retrieved. Now blue optics lingered on the retorted skin, scanning down the length of them to the center of his back. Did it not transform into smooth skin again after the reversed manifestation? Maebelle didn’t really like looking at it because, yeah, it was ugly. Maybe it even repulsed her to a certain extent and in turn it made hands ball up into fists as she pulled them against her stomach, almost as if to prevent any possibility of touching it. Some slight disgust probably showed on her face as well.

Until Kieron’s voice broke that mental state of mind and reminded her just whose back this was.

“What?” Maebelle hadn’t fully gathered herself again when he spoke up and it took her a couple more seconds to do so. Eyes drifted higher to his head, briefly able to take in the profile of the nurse’s face. God knows how much courage it must be taking for him to let her see this. Either that, or he was in a lot of pain. Features softened and her gaze fell back to the deformed skin. “I’m… I’m okay.” She decided. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Yeah, why wouldn’t she be, other than the sight in front of her.

With that, the brown-haired woman snatched the other shirt from the back of the couch, holding it in front of him as an arm reached past his side. “Maybe you can get your arms in the sleeves”, she offered as the hand then moved back. Instead of joining the other by her stomach, however, it rose and opened for the palm to flatly face Kieron’s back. There it lingered, hovering with reluctance as his shoulder blades moved with him making the effort she had requested of him. When he appeared close to ready, Maebelle cut the knot… and fingertips landed first.

“Does it hurt?” Her voice nothing above a whisper as the touch slowly ran down to dry wound. Hopefully he didn’t mind. For a second Mae feared that he would flinch and pull back. She didn’t want him to though.

[Kieron Sharpe]

As the shredded shirt dropped pitifully to the floor Kieron stayed glancing at it for a long moment, knowing that Maebelle was probably a little preoccupied with the discovery of the scar-like markings on his back. He didn't blame her of course; he doubted anyone would be able to glance at them and not double-take, even if they didn't know about his ability. Many people with winged abilities were left mark-free once their wings disappeared, but he always had those two vague reminders. He had lost count of all the excuses he'd come up with for them over the years; he had enough to fill a notebook several times over. And yet so often they were met with such a similar reaction.

A slight sideways tilt of his head was enough to let him see Maebelle's face and to see the disgust on her features and in the way she held herself, tucked away from him like he was diseased.

It had been silly to hope that maybe, just maybe, she would react in any other way than that. Kieron didn't blame her, not at all, but that didn't stop the lead weight in his stomach from crushing all the previously flailing butterflies and flattening any fool's daydream that perhaps she might have liked him as much as he thought he liked her. Clearly it was never going to be; how could anyone be around someone that made them physically withdraw the way she had done? The nurse gave a soft, resigned sigh as he used his foot to slide the wet shirt over to the side of the room out of the way.

Kieron gave a soft smile at her comment, but even in the dim light it would be difficult to miss the sombre look on his features and the fact that the smile clearly wasn't at all genuine. “I would understand if you weren't.” That at least was true, she certainly would not be the first to make some excuse to leave after having seen his back. Though perhaps her leaving would be one of the ones that hurt the most. It was funny how sometimes it took seeing someone pulling away to make you realise how much you would like to keep them close.

As Maebelle handed him the shirt Kieron nodded and started to slowly pull it over his arms. The ache was still lingering but was slowly easing; once Maebelle was gone he would get his wings back out and gently stretch the weariness out of them. At least the shirt he had brought down had long slits in the back so it wouldn't end up in a similar state to the Hitchhikers one that lay forming a small puddle on the hardwood floor.

Kieron hadn't expected the fingers to touch his back, especially not the warped skin, and he did flinch slightly as the contact was made. He didn't pull away though, but his head turned so hazel eyes were looking at Maebelle. “No, it doesn't hurt... It's more numb than anything. It hurts my back and shoulders when I'm not controlling it, obviously, but normally it's fine. It's just... ugly.”

[Deleted]

Perhaps Maebelle did like him as much as he thought he liked her. She was still there after all. No excuses were being formulated nor was there the urge to turn away from him. Instead eyes lingered on the wounds while her brain collected all the information. The rational part might be working overtime, but the woman’s emotional side still had the upper hand. If no feelings were there, Mae would have taken a step back and she would not have felt awful the second she took in the cheerless look on his face. Her own spirit fell and it made her more inclined to reach out and to make contact with the warped skin. If words could not settle him at ease, actions would, right?

The second fingers touched his back, her gaze drifted over to meet the hazel depths. That same second, the hand flatly settled on the scar-like skin and a warm smile appeared. A nod confirmed his words and Maebelle wasn’t going to lie about her opinion, especially since Kieron’s demeanor gave away that he had taken notice of the automatic change of expression, but that did not mean she was going to leave it at that. “It is kind of ugly…” The young woman whispered as the hand now trailed down the length of the distorted skin. Soon, however, it broke contact and the gardener slipped to stand in front of him now.

Both extremities reached up to grip the white fabric that had gathered at his upper torso for arms had been slipped in the sleeves already. Carefully, Mae moved it over his head after he had automatically ducked it forward again. Fingers then reached for the shirt as hands ducked under the pits of his arms, gently inching it down to cover Kieron’s upper body. No word had been said during this, but after having adjusted all the folds, the brunette reached a hand up to lovingly cup the nurse’s chin. She finally continued with what had been said a minute or two ago. Her voice was still as low as a whisper. “But it does not define who you are. You’re great and cute and friendly, and you shouldn’t worry about it. They’re part of you… And I like you.” So, the scars could be accepted.

With a little sheepish and nervous chuckle, Maebelle retrieved her hand, bringing herself back to being awkward as she realized just how deep those words went, and absentmindedly gave the shirt that he had just put on a little tug by the hem to make sure all was in place. She kind of wanted to apologize for having made such statements… but she did not regret them. “Much better”, Mae decided while clearing her throat.

She probably should have kept her mouth shut after that, but of course that would be majorly out of character. “Do… you need help with the pants as well?” You know, just in case…

[Kieron Sharpe]

Kieron did not know how to feel about the hand on his back. A part of him wanted to pull away, to break the contact and just ask her to leave so she wouldn't feel like she had to stay for his benefit. At the same time, though, he wanted to lean into the touch and revel in the warmth of her fingers, be settled with the fact that she was at least unafraid and not running for the hills away from the sight she clearly found revolting.

Maebelle's smile did little to lift Kieron's mood, but he returned it with a sombre smile of his own and a small nod of his head. At least she was being honest when she admitted she found it ugly and was not insulting his intelligence with a lie. Still, the warmth of her fingers felt good against his cold skin, and despite his heavy heart Kieron could feel a little of the ache and tension seeping out of his frame.

The nurse stayed quite as Maebelle helped him wriggle into the shirt, Kieron pulling it down with her assistance and being grateful at least that she had stayed to help him out with it. Once he had warmed up and calmed down a little the ache should fade away, and by that time Mae would have left and he could mope and ponder alone with the fish. Kieron was just straightening up the shirt when fingers cupped his chin, and hazel eyes gazed into blue and he listened in stunned silence as Maebelle spoke.

The quiet shock at her words was evident on Kieron's face, and as Maebelle moved away he was quiet for a long moment, taking in what she had just said. Some of the butterflies began to wriggle their way out from under the lead weight in his stomach and Kieron's faint hopes slowly started to rise again. He couldn't quite believe what Maebelle just said, and her next words passed on deaf ears as he struggled to take it in.

Very slowly Kieron reached out and took Maebelle's closest hand, holding it gently in his fingers. Hazel eyes met blue once more, and his voice was low and soft as he spoke. “And you are fascinating, with a kind heart, and so very beautiful...” Kieron slowly lifted the hand to his lips, placing a feather-soft kiss on the back of it, his eyes never leaving hers. “And I like you too. Very much so.”

[Deleted]

It might have been out of character for Maebelle to expose her feelings like this, especially since both possible outcomes would implant the same emotion: uncertainty. If Kieron were to react positively to the words spoken, which she deemed in place because she needed to see a smile on his face again, she would fear attachment. And dreading that would possibly lead to the brunette trying to recreate some distance in an attempt to gather herself. In turn that could give of the wrong impression. If he were to react negatively, Mae would doubt herself and feel awful. Either way, it might not end well.

Kieron seemed to be going for the first option as he reached out and took the brunette’s hand. Her gaze rested on it for a second or two before drifting upwards to land on his hazel ones. No matter how sweet and loving those words were, Mae felt bad about having gotten him as far as voicing them. It had been somewhat easy to marvel about the man, but that didn’t mean she was good at accepting it the other way around. If K had just kept it at that, she probably would have expressed some doubts… Then he kissed the back of her hand and her brain went all mushy. Damnit.

A self-conscious smile ended up being accompanied by a shy chuckle as her hand shifted in his in order to give it a little squeeze. “I am glad”, Mae decided before sucking bottom lip into her mouth, lightly digging teeth into it while ever so slowly withdrawing the hand from his. The gardener did not know how else to react! Other than possibly making an impulse move due to the closeness and the mood that their whispers and eye contact had brought along.

“So, um, the pants… You should take them off.” Topic change, check. Decently phrasing it, fail. Eyes finally tore themselves away from his as cheeks quickly colored. Given the current context, it could definitely be interpreted wrongly. “I mean… take them off as in get on a dry pair. Not that I want you to strip. Not that it would be unpleasant, but it would just be weird. Not that something is weird about that”, her hand awkwardly motioned to his pelvic area before both arms quickly folded against her chest. “Do you need help?” Her voice was slightly more pitched, louder and quick now. After that, complete silence took over and she seemed to blink a couple of times, confused by herself.

Way to go, Mae.

“I’ll just…” Blue optics fell to the shredded shirt and she squatted to pick it up. “I’ll go throw this away now.” And maybe hit her head against something. With that Mae rose, slowly turning her back on him to go to the kitchen. Trash cans were either located in sight or under the sink. It shouldn’t be too hard.

[Kieron Sharpe]

It had taken Kieron an awful lot of internal preparation to be able to build up to this moment. The butterflies had risen and fallen like they were on a rollercoaster, but he had sucked up his internal flailing and managed to voice his thoughts, in a manner of speaking. Admitting that he liked Maebelle had been about voicing it to himself as much as it was about voicing it to her. Now it was out in the open he could start actually processing the truth. He did like her, and as more than just a friend. Surely there was no way she could have misunderstood his meaning when he had spoken to her and kissed her hand in the way that he had.

Right?

The fact that Maebelle didn't instantly pull her hand away caused his hopes to rise, and the subtle squeeze of her fingers around his caused a tentative smile to pull at the corner of his lips. Her initial reaction lightened his spirits and Kieron returned the squeeze with a soft one of his own, the nurse relishing in the warmth of her gentle grip and enjoying the feeling of finally getting that awkward weight off his chest.

As her fingers slipped from his own Kieron offered no resistance, letting their hands untwist as his arms softly fell back down to his sides. Maebelle's sudden topic change caught him completely off guard and Kieron stood in stunned silence for a moment, trying to process what she had just said. Once the words actually sank in the blush that coloured Maebelle's cheeks was mirrored in his own, and he shifted awkwardly as Maebelle ranted in a style that was all too familiar to him. Dear lord, the verbal diarrhoea was contagious.

“I'm going to leave them on. I mean, I'm going to take them off but I'll do it upstairs. You should stay down here. Not that I don't want you upstairs. But not like that. I don't think it will be appropriate now. Or ever. Not unless you want it to be and-”

Maebelle's movements towards the decimated shirt broke Kieron's own flow and he sucked in a breath, nodding quickly. “The trash can is under the sink. I think I should be okay now, I think. Umm... There's drinks in there if you want to get one, but if you want to go then that is okay too, I'd understand... Thank you for your help.” Kieron desperately didn't want her to go, not after all this, but all things considered, he could understand why she might want to. As she headed into the kitchen he headed for the stairs, travelling up them to at least attempt to wriggle into some dry slacks. He could handle her leaving. She wouldn't be the first, though that would not stop it hurting if she did go.

[Deleted]

Silence would do them some good. While others might dread not having something to talk about, it probably would be best if they just kept their mouths shut for at least a couple of minutes. Maebelle inwardly prayed for the floor to open up and to swallow her on the spot. Sadly enough that was not the gardener’s ability and she had to deal with feeling like a tomato, ready to explode. It sort of kind of became worse the second Kieron spoke up. Of course it could have saved the conversation… but it didn’t. Instead Mae only absorbed ‘stay down here’, ‘not like that’ and ‘… now. Or ever’. Especially the latter got to her, even while Kieron tried to soften that unintentional blow.

With the shirt in her hands, the brunette nodded while out of sight. “Okay”, she called back at his explanation before soon location the trash can before slowly closing the cabinet again. In the distance faint footsteps could be heard and then the sound of the man ascending the staircase. Exhaling a small sigh, Mae had fingers absentmindedly ran along the counter while eyes drifted through the kitchen. She didn’t belong here, did she? Compared to his place, her apartment felt like a soaked carton box. Their life styles were completely different and the young woman had no idea how they could ever combine this. Darkness could make her go crazy. And when eyes fell on a packet of dried bugs, which she first had to inspect before realizing this, it really pushed her over the edge. The packet got dropped on the counter again as hands quickly withdrew, wiping them on her jeans in disgust. No, this would not work.

And she could not say this in Kieron’s face.

So, with him upstairs, Maebelle chickened and moved into the hallway. She tried to be as quiet as possible, yet also quick enough before the man would step down again. The blue sweater got shed and then draped over the bannister. All that was left after that was for her to tug her coat on. And to announce that she was leaving…

“Um, Kieron? I should get going now.” Her hand was already on the handle, opening the door and stepping out because she didn’t really want to hear his reaction. If anything, it would probably made her stay, and in turn it would lead to more hurt feelings later on. It was better this way. Right?

[Kieron Sharpe]

Had Kieron realised just how badly his words had tumbled out, he would likely have been kicking himself even more than he already was as he walked up the stairs. He had been trying to check himself, to make sure no emphasis was put on anything it shouldn't be, and he didn't realise quite how much he had missed the mark by. After the runaway words downstairs the silence of upstairs was jarring, and Kieron hummed quietly to himself as he headed into his bedroom and eventually managed to wriggle out of the wet trousers.

Kieron moved as quickly as he was able to give his still-aching shoulders, not wanting to waste one moment upstairs when he could instead be downstairs trying to sort out this mess they had somehow managed to stir up. He had just managed to awkwardly get one leg into a dry pair of black slacks when he heard Maebelle calling up the stairs. He heard the door going and desperately wanted to stop her; even if she did decide to go and never come back, he didn't want their friendship to end on this horrible note. The nurse half speed-walked and half stumbled out of his room and across the veranda, still trying to pull on the slacks, but the door had closed and she was gone before he'd even made it to the top of the stairs.

For a long while Kieron sat perched on the top step, half dressed and staring down at the closed front door. She had really gone. Their friendship, however awkward it had been, was gone. Just like that. It was over.

After a while Kieron eased his way properly into the slacks, making his way downstairs and into the living room where he let his huge wings slowly unfold. The tension pulled tight across his shoulders but he started gently stretching them out, easing away the physical ache, but it was doing very little for the ache he felt within his mind.

~ Fin ~