All I want for Christmas (Kieron)

[Deleted]

Christmas was not exactly Maebelle’s most favorite time of the year. At least not this time around. Everyone was so jolly and excited about celebrating it with their families, while her plan was to stay in and to watch classic holiday movies. Of course she knew it was her own fault that nothing more interesting could be found on her agenda that day. First a proposal from her boyfriend had been turned down and then, after having met someone new, she stupidly enough chickened once more. Kieron did deserve better, she knew this, yet the nagging feeling kept bothering her. Ever since Mae had left his house a little over two weeks ago, avoidance had been taking place. Given the fact that the flora at Hammel did not require as much attention during winter, the gardener found it easy to maintain the lack of contact. That, however, did not take away that it began to weigh on her.

She had kind of bought him Christmas gifts. Maybe because it was pathetic to not have anything for anymore, or perhaps because she hoped to make it right again. In order to achieve the latter, however, the brunette would have to approach him. After what she did, it would be out of place. And so the wrapped gifts remained under the small Christmas tree that had been purchased the day before. Maebelle had decided on that quite late, meaning only the worst looking trees were still available. And that was exactly why this last-minute decision was made. No one would purchase those; no one except for a person with plant empathy and manipulation. The man selling them seemed rather confused about how someone could be so indecisive, or why someone would even want one of those trees in the first place. Mae did though, and she went for a small one. A small sick Christmas tree.

It didn’t really look much better than the day before, other than the fact that it now showed off pretty ornaments. Maebelle could tell it was grateful though and that it did feel pretty, which in turn was all she needed. The tree also formed a nice distraction and pleasant conversation partner – one which she soon entrusted with the whole Kieron situation. It shouldn’t be too much to go off on, but Mae always put a lot of trust into plants. Today was no different, so when the Christmas tree flailed over her stupidity, it slowly began to dawn upon the girl that if even a plant disapproved, it must have been the worst decision ever. Yes, Kieron should be grateful towards a small sick Christmas tree for it was Maebelle’s cue to get her act together.

First things first, the Hammel employee headed to the nearby supermarket to purchase some food. All in all, it took her about half an hour before she returned and placed the plastic grocery bags down on the table. “Okay, next step!” Her spirit had lifted as Mae rushed to the Christmas tree, plucking two gifts from underneath it. “I will be back soon, okay?” And then she was out again, on her way to Kieron’s house. Darkness was already starting to fall, but she did not care. Adrenaline kept her going and soon she took the couple of steps onto the porch. Small puffs of air slipped past Maebelle’s lips as she stood there for a minute or so, indecisively staring at the door. If she were to knock and he would open up, she quite probably wouldn’t be able to handle it if he would express some dislike. That conclusion wiped the smile off her face as features fell. He quite possibly would, huh? Mae wouldn’t even be able to blame him.

It was why the presents ended up being placed down on the doorstep. No knock on the door, no ringing the bell. Kieron would find them at one point, she was sure. One of the gifts, the bigger one, had taken her some time to find. Or, well, to plan how to get it. For that one, Milan had been approached. His ability of being able to walk in shadows came in handy, as well as him helping her with the needed computer lessons. It had been ordered online and Milan had gone to pick it up to save the shipping costs. Maebelle was positive he would recognize the shirt, and it turn would connect the dots of her having left those presents. The smaller one was more ridiculous and probably a joke that became old, but the second blue eyes had fallen on the socks she just had to get them! And so both presents, neatly piled up, rested against the front door. One held a note with her address on it, knowing Kieron had never been to her place… just in case he wanted to show up. God, did she hope he would.

Maebelle’s hope stretched as far as her heading back home where dinner was being prepared. Dinner for two. All preparations took place before she opted to grab a quick shower. One of her prettier dresses got put on and then she was back in the kitchen. Soon the small table was neatly put together (candle included) and potatoes were being shoved into the oven. Roast was on the stove, along with a second pan in which green beans could be found, wrapped in a thin slice of bacon. Curtains got closed and the brunette plugged in the Christmas lights to make the small tree stand out even more. A quick scan of the room and some inward approval made her nod with pride. Now, it would only be a matter of time.

Time that dragged by, minute by minute, hour by hour. The stove and oven had been switched off. The door was locked. The couch had been pulled out to form her bed and her gaze rested on the clock as it hit twelve o’clock midnight. The Christmas tree got ignored as Mae curled up in a ball on the mattress, tugging the plug of the pretty lights out. The room went dark, and so did her hope.

[Kieron Sharpe]

The drive from his parents house in New Hampshire had seemed to take days rather than just a couple of hours. Then again, the past day or two had seemed to be intent on dragging out into infinity. He had arrived at their place late on Christmas eve, and despite all their protests that he should stay until the New Year, Kieron had managed to wriggle himself free from their suffocating grasps at lunchtime on boxing day. He had told them that the fish needed to be fed, that some of them were delicate and wouldn't survive another day without being tended to. That was of course only partly true. Yes he had wanted to get back to his fish and check on them all... but mainly he had just wanted to get away from his family.

It never failed to surprise Kieron just how much his parents could seem to both love and loathe him at the exact same time. He knew they only wanted him to be successful and rich and have a good life, but... they were completely unable to grasp that he didn't want to be a surgeon or a neurologist or even a doctor. They also seemed to be in complete denial that even if he did want that, there was always the very real chance that he never could have achieved it anyway. All the pushing and prodding and best attempts in the world couldn't make someone magically smarter than they were capable of being.

Christmas dinner had dissolved into one huge argument, as it always did. His father had eventually gotten bored of constant jabs about how Kieron was only a school nurse and his mother had taken over with complaints about why he was still single. He was young, reasonably attractive, and whilst he was only a school nurse, he was from a good family with the right breeding. Why wasn't he engaged to a pretty young doctor or lawyer yet, hmm? Hmm? Why Kieron? Why is there no hope for grandchildren yet, hmm? Niall has a girlfriend who is a trainee manager at her father's company. Siobhan was top of her class. Why could he not be more like them? Hmm? HMM?

The only thing that had gotten Kieron through Christmas dinner (besides the very good red wine) and through the awful, deafening silence of breakfast the morning after, was reminding himself about just where he would be going when he made it back to Pilot Ridge.

Kieron had almost fallen over the presents when he had left his house on Christmas eve. He was already running late, having stayed behind at work dealing with a kid with an ear infection, and so he had only read the note and opened the gifts when he stopped off for coffee at a rest stop halfway to his parents house. The nurse had been completely unable to wrap his head around them. Since their... whatever it was at his house he and Maebelle had been avoiding each other. Whilst he couldn't really blame her for going when she did, she had made it very clear that she had no intention of pursuing anything. Clearly she didn't feel the same about him as he did about her, and since she had made no effort to contact him since then he had assume she didn't want to be just friends either. That was sad, but fine. He had respected that and kept his distance too, but now...

Even as Kieron pulled up outside his own house he still wasn't sure what to think or do. She had left the note with her address, so clearly she wanted him to go there, but... Should he? He already had a present for her, but he'd never actually intended to give it to her. Perhaps he could just leave it on the doorstep, as she had done with his. But that would be cowardly and ungentlemanly and oh God this was so hard.

Kieron let himself into his home and did a quick check over all the fish, making sure they were all okay. One of the guppies looked a little off but other than that everyone was present and correct, and all greedily devoured the food that he gave them. It was as he was checking on the temperature of Vetinari's tank that Kieron's eyes fell onto his small, undecorated tree and the box underneath it. He looked to the eel. “What do you think?” Vetinari inched out of the pipe he was hiding in, ambushing an unaware shrimp and greedily swallowing it. “Yeah... I thought as much.”

Twenty minutes later and Kieron was stood outside the apartment block with the address Maebelle had given, staring up at the large building. Well, this was... charming? After an internal debate of the pros vs cons of actually pressing the buzzer Kieron did actually manage to press it, shuffling his shoes in the slush on the bottom step of the entrance to the apartment block and holding the fairly large present under one arm. After what felt like an eternity the door creaked open, and Kieron made sure that he was stood half-hidden behind the naked potted Christmas tree that was halfway up the steps. “I brought my friend Mr Pine along to mediate, I hope you don't mind... Happy Christmas.”

[Deleted]

Kieron hadn’t shown up. Not that day, not on Christmas and not on Boxing day. The latter was still ongoing, but Maebelle had convinced herself that all hope was vain and that it only made sense that he didn’t head over. Why would he? Her self-esteem definitely couldn’t answer that question. The small Christmas tree claimed to have an explanation for it all, but she never gave it a chance to venture as far as completely unraveling it. All Mae had accepted from it after having given in to its advice was that, yes, paper tissues had effortlessly being used that one night. It just made the gardener feel pathetic though. The realization of how deeply one cared for another always came too late.

The food that had been made on Christmas, for two, could probably last her at least four days. Mae’s appetite had gone missing, only heating up small portions whenever some hunger did hit her. This was exactly what the young woman had been doing the second someone rang the bell. Opening the microwave, and ultimately having the clock stop counting down, a little groan escaped passed the brunette’s lips. With it being close towards the end of the month, Maebelle knew that the landlady was coming to pick up the rent. With her being an older one, she never made an effort to head up the stairs (also because she thought low of most of those who rented the apartments), and Mae always had tried to limit the contact as much as possible. She also knew better than to keep the woman waiting, so a simple cardigan got tugged on over her sleepwear as bare feet carried her down to the front door.

“I know it’s the end of the month, bu-“ A hand was on the handle after it had been unlocked and she was already explaining herself before a giant rant would take place, not even having opened the door far enough yet to spot the person on the other side. Only when blue eyes peered past the flat wood did words stop flowing past her lips and her expression just fell to a blank one. “Kieron…” She unintentionally breathed out as her hand let go of the handle, doing her best to cocoon herself in the cardigan as much as possible. “What are you-“ That sentence didn’t get finished either as her gaze fell to the addressed Christmas tree. It brought the weakest of smiles back to her lips before optics settled on the man’s face again.

Kieron could probably detect the small hint of hurt in there and her inability to acknowledge that he had shown up after all. “I… only expected one visitor.” Maebelle eventually spoke. “Would you mind carrying Mr. Pine upstairs?” Features had lit up a tad bit more though, hoping the nurse did not take those words too seriously. Well, she did want him to bring the Christmas tree upstairs, but she did not want him to leave afterwards. With that, the brunette moved aside to grant him entrance. And when he was inside, she closed the door.

“Maybe you should… you know…” A hand motioned to the narrow staircase. “Go first?” Because her nightdress was a tad bit too short for her to be able to do so classy with him behind her. Kieron probably wouldn’t have minded, but… “Third floor. First door on the left.”

[Kieron Sharpe]

The thought of coming here now had been what had helped get him through the past few days when he'd been stuck with his parents. Despite the fact that the thought of appearing on Maebelle's doorstep had filled him with an excitement he couldn't quite explain, it had also filled him with a quiet sort of dread. What if she had changed her mind since leaving the presents? What if she was just going to slam the door in his face? In his more ridiculous moments, Kieron had even considered the possibility that he would knock on the door and a thug would answer and beat him up, telling him to never see Maebelle again.

Despite these somewhat worrying thoughts, the soft excitement and bizarre longing had pushing his decision easily in the end. Even with all his indecisive dithering once in his own home, there was never any chance that he would not have turned up on the doorstep of the apartment block that had been addressed on the little note.

As the door opened it took Kieron a moment to actually stop staring at Mr Pine and look up to face Maebelle, and as he did his jaw dropped slightly as he saw her standing there. Stood silhouetted in the doorway in her sleepwear with the dim light behind her, she looked absolutely enchanting, and there could have been no mistaking the enthralled look on the nurses face. After a long moment of his lips moving wordlessly Kieron remembered his manners, turning his gaze back down to the bare Christmas tree. Her unfinished question caused hazel eyes to flick back up to Maebelle's face, a slight wave of concern covering the deep blush that was dancing across his cheeks. “You... left me your address. I thought you wanted me to come...”

Kieron nodded in response as Maebelle asked if he could carry the tree upstairs. With the weight of the pot and the soil it was hardly the lightest of things in the world, but Kieron was thankfully that his fitness and strength regime would stop it from being too much of an issue. Stepping towards the door, Kieron handed the rather large, beautifully wrapped present that had been under his arm over to Maebelle before picking up the tree and heading inside.

Carefully carrying the tree up the stairs, a quietly unsettled feeling began to form in Kieron's stomach. The apartment block was hardly well kept and graffiti littered the walls. How could someone so very pretty live somewhere like this. It made him feel a little bad about his own house; he lived in relative luxury while Maebelle lived here. He knew logically that there were far, far worse places than this, but... it still didn't seem fair. Eventually he made it up to the third floor and rested the tree on the ground near what he thought was the correct the door while he caught his breath back. “This one? ... How long have you lived here, if you don't mind me asking?”

[Deleted]

While there had been no expectations that Kieron would end up at her door, Maebelle still had engaged in trying to figure out what her reaction would be like if he were to appear on the doorstep one of the following days. Mad or annoyed? Perhaps, but mainly because she had gone through the trouble of preparing dinner (which he could not know, but still!) and it had just made her regret every single move that had been made around Christmas Eve. God knows what Kieron must be thinking now. How incredibly pathetic might she have come across? Or maybe sad because she had begun to acknowledge that it was best for her to just stay out of his life. The thought of possibly being happy didn’t strike her. It just felt okay to maintain the emotional (and physical) distance.

Yet, when she opened up the door and Kieron was standing there, warmth spread deep within and her initial reaction was one in which no thought was being put. What also contributed to her cutting off the question was the look on the man’s face. Most disappointment faded and she really did struggle to not let a smile shine through. Throwing herself at him right now, given the context and her outfit, actually did seem quite inappropriate. No one had ever looked at her like that before, and Kieron had no idea just how easily she began to forgive him. If it weren’t for him deeming it necessary to answer the unfinished question from before, the brunette might have snapped out of the ‘hard-to-please’ phase she was going through right now.

“I did. On Christmas Eve.” No, wrong wrong wrong! “No, didn’t mean it like that. Like, I expected you then and not now and I didn’t think you would want to anymore and…” Contracting lips together into a thin line, Mae shut herself up. Thank God for Mr. Pine being present as well! It also formed the perfect excuse to have Kieron enter without awkwardly having to invite him inside. For a second it also made her forget about the interior… until eyes settled on the staircase and the surrounding walls. Right. This was why her address didn’t get handed out so freely. It was a pretty noisy apartment as well. Walls were paper-thin and not all residents kept in mind that others lived there as well. The pretty present in her hands definitely stood out concerning the surroundings. A present she momentarily didn’t fully acknowledge for she kept replaying the awe on his face in her mind.

At least Maebelle got to distract herself some with Kieron ascending the stairs in front of her. Cute butt, approved. What else did she have to look at, hm? Anyway, once they reached the third floor, it was back to reality and even more so when Kieron asked the question. Made it pretty obvious that he had taken notice. Hopefully, however, it wouldn’t be something he would judge her on. If it were an option, she would have long gotten something decent. “Um, around three or four months.” Mae replied upon reaching him with a nod. She then opened the door for him, letting the man enter first. As soon as the brunette was inside as well, she came to realize that the place was somewhat messy. The couch was still pulled out for she had been sulking on there. The kitchen had just been used a few minutes earlier, so the gardener hadn’t gotten around to that.

“Don’t mind the mess.” She mumbled while quickly plucking the dress from Christmas eve from the floor, moving to stuff in into the wooden chest next to the TV, where normally her blanket and pillows were located. Then Mae stepped into the kitchen area again, where the present had been placed down on the table, awkwardly rubbing both upper arms before realizing that the microwave was still open as well… with the food in there. God knows what impression that gave, hence the reason she was quick to close it.

“You showed up…” She eventually whispered, making eye contact with the nurse.

[Kieron Sharpe]

As Maebelle rather curtly explained that no, she had in fact expected him several days ago, it would have been hard to miss the flash of hurt that crossed Kieron's features. It hadn't been his fault that the timing had been all wrong, and as far as he could recall the note hadn't specified a date or time. Thankfully Maebelle was quick to explain, and the nurse nodded slowly and shuffled his feet slightly in the slush on the steps. “Yeah... Sorry about that. I didn't get to read your note until I was halfway out of town. I've been at my parent's since Christmas eve.” Kieron had made the decision on the way over that it was time to be honest, to stop dancing around things because he was afraid. It was time to say it how it was...

But maybe later.

Kieron was quick to pick up the tree after that, not really giving himself or Maebelle enough time to respond before he was hauling the tree up the stairs. He wasn't really sure how he should be reacting right now, and he wasn't entirely certain he wanted to know what Maebelle's thoughts might be. Even though inside the apartment building was duller than inside the school the nurse was still thankfully for his shades, keeping his head tilted slightly back as he carried the tree up the stairs in order to keep them resting over his eyes.

He wasn't entirely sure how anyone could go several months living in a place like this if they had another option. Perhaps it was just him being entitled and privileged, but if he lived in a place like this... the thought made him internally shudder slightly. He wasn't certain if he'd make it more than a month before going insane and attacking the entire place with buckets of paint and a decent handyman.

Kieron stood awkwardly just inside in the doorway with Mr Pine as Maebelle started to make an attempt at cleaning up, but he was fairly quick to give a dismissive wave, once the initial shock had been buried away. “Please, don't make any effort on my account.” He watched her scurrying around out of the corner of his eye, trying to keep his focus on her face and not wandering any more than he could help it. When she eventually stopped and made eye contact with him, a soft smile spread across Kieron's lips. “I did... If it helps at all... The whole time that I was at my parents, I was waiting to be able to come back so that I could see you...”

[Deleted]

Ah, damnit. Maebelle had taken notice of the hurt expression on his face, and while it did seem to soften some after her explanation, it did not make her feel any less bad about it. At least he had had somewhere to go during Christmas. She should be happy for him. Luckily neither delved deeper after having hit that unpleasant moment and soon they reached the right floor. It didn’t look much better than the other ones, but at least the vandalism seemed to be somewhat limited around there. It did not eliminate cracks in the walls or the moisture in there though. If there was another option, financially wise, the gardener would have moved by now.

At least the interior of her apartment did not look as bad, mainly because Mae had put a fresh layer of paint on the wall that had needed it the most – and it was a nice green one now. As for her belongings being shattered around the place… she had more control over that, but had neglected cleaning up the last couple of days. Kieron did not seem to mind it, yet that didn’t really limit the effort of making it more appealing now. Eventually she did stop though, after the microwave had been closed, to look at the man and to word her inability to grasp his presence.

Arms had been bracing herself, but soon hands settled on the back of the chair, having a table between them as he stood there next to the Christmas tree. “You… wanted to see me?” Her voice was unintentionally filled with disbelief, yet also with some touched feelings. While a smile began to creep upon her lips, she momentarily turned her head towards her own small decorated tree as it made a remark about how sweet that was. It probably looked strange that her features lit up more now, facing an ‘invisible’ someone, but eventually Mae’s gaze darted back to Kieron. “Why? I mean… after my reaction last time…” Not smart to bring that up, Maebelle. “I’m sorry about that though… I should have stayed.”

Talking about that, his place was much more darker and once more the young woman made an abrupt movement to solve this. She didn’t explain what she would be doing though, wanting Kieron to not feel interrupted when it came to replying. Two windows got hidden behind rather thick curtains and for the third she had to crawl over her bed. It probably made sense now. It also gave her the opportunity to plug in the lights of the Christmas tree before leaning over to darken the room some more. Soon after, Mae shuffled off the bed, straightening her outfit again.

“Is this better? Do you want something to drink? Or do you have to leave again soon? You don’t have to…”

[Kieron Sharpe]

Kieron did feel a little like he was stood on parade by the door to her apartment and he was glad when she settled with her scurried cleaning. She had absolutely no need to put on any kind of pretences for him; he hadn't done for her. Granted his house was usually very neat and and tidy anyway, but he'd made no special effort when she had popped in before. It felt awkward watching her quiet worry, and a soft smile graced his lips as she paused to lean on the back of the chair.

The disbelief in Maebelle's tone took a long moment to register with the nurse, and his brow furrowed into a slightly confused frown as he spoke. “Well... of course I wanted to see you. I've been wanting to see you since you left.” As Maebelle went to speak about last time Kieron just gave a soft wave of his hand, dismissing it. “It's okay. You wanted to go, so you went... I wont lie, it made me sad to see you go...” Kieron took a deep breath, calming his racing mind and pounding chest. This was the most open and honest he'd been with anyone for quite some time, and it took him a moment to correlate his thoughts and turn them into words that might actually make some sort of sense. He spoke slowly as she once more started to scurry around the room. “But it's okay. You never have to be anywhere you don't want to be. There is absolutely nothing to apologise for.”

As she started to close the curtains and turn down the lighting Kieron went to try to stop her and get her to calm down, but he hesitated as she crawled along the sofa-bed-thing to close the other curtain. Whatever word he had attempted to say snagged in his throat and Kieron turned his gaze back in the direction of the kitchen, breathing slowly and deeply and forcing his mind to really not go there. He didn't turn his gaze back in her direction until he was certain she was stood up and had a chance to cover herself once more. “A drink would be lovely, thank you.”

Kieron slowly slid the shades up away from his eyes, letting them nestle in the floppy hair atop his head. He squinted hard for a moment, letting his eyes slowly adjust to the light, but it was now dim enough in the room that he could settle fairly quickly without having to hide behind the tinted shades. “I will leave whenever you wish me to.” For as it currently stood, he had no wish to leave of his own accord.

[Deleted]

No. No, no, no. It was not okay. Not okay at all. Maebelle was too busy moving from one window to the other, but his words got soaked up like a sponge and her mind screamed to just tell him that he got it all wrong. She didn’t though. At least not yet. Instead she first made sure to be standing up straight again, to check if Kieron was comfortable. For a second the gardener felt lost as her eyes settled on him. She felt sad. Sad because he thought she didn’t want to be near him while nothing else was less true. It also planted a horrible and guilty feeling upon the young woman. Here she had been sulking, but it had been her own stupid fault. Underneath that thick layer of negative emotions, however, hid some happiness. It mingled with the slightly gloomy expression, appearing as a weak smile as she moved into the kitchen area, opening a cabin to pluck out a glass and a mug. “Warm or cold?” The drink.

Both items were still in her hands and she was about to turn around to have the options support her question, but Kieron spoke up instead and arms lowered as she slowly placed them down. A couple of seconds went by as Maebelle stood still like that, her back towards the man, before she slowly spun around while once more adjusting the cardigan. “It was not that I didn’t or don’t want to be with you”, she began in an attempt to explain herself. His statement made her grow a tad bit tense. If that decision were in her hands, K would be stuck in this crappy apartment until he made up his mind and decided to leave on his own accord. “I just…” Eyes grew sad as her right arm now folded against her torso, supporting her other elbow while the brunette’s left hand was brought up for teeth to nervously nip at the nails. Mae didn’t really know how to stand nor what to do with herself. With a sigh, arms uselessly flopped down at her sides.

“I just don’t feel good enough for you.” There, she said it. The chuckle that followed was somewhat bitter and Maebelle shook her head before pushing herself away from the counter that she had been leaning against, recreating some distance, almost as if to back up her words. If Kieron had meant that he liked her as a close friend, Mae would feel like a complete idiot. These wrong assumptions could not be undone as she continued. “Look at this place.” Hands rose for a second, only to drift over to her chest, to the location where her heart was. “And me? I’ll probably end up hurting you because I always say and do the wrong things. Like last time.” Pathetic. And Maebelle knew it. But she liked him. God, she really did.

If anything, the gardener really did wish to change the topic right now. She didn’t know what to… and so Mae resorted to the one thing that she should have been doing instead of spilling those feelings. “Warm or cold?” The young woman repeated after quickly having rubbed sleeve-covered hands over her face. Had he answered before? She had no idea, but Mae did move back to the glass and mug, avoiding all eye contact.

[Kieron Sharpe]

Kieron was patiently quiet as Maebelle seemed to falter for words, dark eyes watching her calmly but curiously as she fidgeted and nibbled at her nails. He fought back the urge to rush her, keen to know what she wanted to say, but the last thing he wanted to do was antagonise or spook her now. It had taken them so long to get this far; even the smallest step backwards now could very well see this friendship stumbling backwards over the edge of the cliff.

The sadness in Maebelle's eyes stung Kieron to look at, but when she did find the words and was able to voice her thoughts they were absolutely the last thing Kieron would ever have expected to hear. For all her proud airs and blunt manners; she was just as worried as he was. Somewhere in the back of his mind Kieron could hear his mother's voice agreeing with Maebelle but he was very quick to become deaf to it. It didn't matter what his parents thought. Not any more. He acknowledged her question about a hot or cold drink with a quiet “warm would be lovely thanks”, but he had no intention of leaving her worries unchecked.

“Maebelle...” Kieron slowly headed into the kitchen, perching on the edge of the small kitchen table. It felt a little unsteady, but still more reliable than his legs which seemed to be growing increasingly more unstable by the moment. He took a deep breath before trying again. “Maebelle... I barely graduated out of high school. I am a nurse because my grades were too poor for me to ever even attempt to go for a doctorate. I am doing a job I hate, living in a town I hate.” Kieron rubbed at his eyes, desperately trying to say what he wanted to say without rambling. “I have had a few relationships that have all failed because of me. I live alone with more fish than a pet store, I owe my parents thousands upon thousands of dollars, give it a year and my little sister will be able to academically run circles around me...”

Kieron sucked in a deep breath, quiet for a long moment as he tried to calm himself down. Long fingers curled around the edge of that table, hazel eyes on the tiled floor of the cold little kitchen. “What I'm trying to say is... don't ever for one moment think I'm too good for you. I wear the mask well, but that's all it is... I can guarantee that, if anything, you're the one that should be feeling like it'd be a step down.” His gaze slowly raised, focussing on the back of Maebelle's hair and those elegant brunette curls. “I look at you... and I feel like I would be reaching far, far beyond my station... You're smart and funny and... Christ, you're so beautiful it hurts.”
He sniffed hard, trying to force away the horrid feeling like a brick in his chest. “The fact that you can't seem to see that hurts me more than your curt words ever could.”

[Deleted]

A warm drink it was. Maebelle was so set on this that she did not even think of asking about it more specifically. Kieron liked hot chocolate – something that had been saved in her mind thanks to earlier encounters. Busying herself formed the perfect excuse to not face him as her name slipped past his lips. Instead the kitchen cabinet at her knees got opened and a package of cacao powder soon found itself upon the counter. Two small spoons joined in, along with a second mug. While all those actions happened at quite a fast pace, her movements visibly slowed down some when the nurse began to put himself in a negative spotlight. Mae faintly managed to acknowledge that she had been doing exactly the same, yet this inflicted a completely different feeling. She let him finish though, in the meanwhile slowly preparing both drinks before taking the heated plate out of the microwave, replacing it with the two mugs.

Blue eyes lingered on those as they turned circles inside the kitchen device. The silence made the sound of the microwave stand out even more, and Mae was almost grateful when the man spoke up again. Almost. Speaking bad about himself was one thing, but praising her… That was just wrong. Wrong because it broke right through all the walls that had been put up and she had not gotten a chance to mentally prepare herself for this. Sadness brimmed again as her gaze now drifted to the countdown of warming up the hot chocolate. See, just by speaking she managed to hurt him! Why could he not see that?!

When the countdown ended, the brunette hit the stop button before it could beep a second time. Afterwards she didn’t immediately turn around. “Why… would you say that?” Maebelle eventually heard herself ask, almost unaware of her own lips moving as she finally spun around to face Kieron. “All those things about yourself – why? Do you think that any of that matters to me?” A little pathetic whimper blended in as blue optics flicked up to fall upon his. He had told her what he felt when looking at her, and while she had not acknowledged this, she did use it to make it all about him again.

“When I look at you… I do see a nurse. I see someone who helps others and who doesn’t care about pursuing a different career for the sake of money. A guy who makes the days of others better without ever complaining. You’re sweet and caring and you make me-“ The last word stumbled over itself as Mae obviously struggled with getting it out. Maebelle had no idea why, but she just wanted to cry. Cry all those emotions out and get herself together again. It didn’t feel like a good option though, yet that didn’t keep eyes from being watery. With quite a deep sigh, growing frustrated with herself, the young woman spun around again and opened the microwave to take the mugs out. A spoon went in each and then she once more faced Kieron to hand over the warm drink. Halfway the distance between them, however, the gardener stopped bringing her arm forward.

Regaining eye contact, the softest of whispers got added. “I… don’t want someone perfect; I… I just want the right one.”

[Kieron Sharpe]

It had been incredibly strange opening up his thoughts to the back of Maebelle's head, but once the words had finally finished tumbling from his lips it did feel like a little of the weight on his chest had been lifted. The nauseous feeling was still churning in his stomach and he could not deny that he was now very afraid of what her response might be, but letting it out and being honest seemed to have triggered a release of a little of the pressure. Or shifted it into another format, but at least it was one that was a little more familiar to him. The fear of rejection had haunted most of his life; compared to the awful doubt of earlier, this type of anxiety was like a comforting blanket.

Hazel eyes flicked between Maebelle's back and the kitchen floor as she put the mugs into the microwave. The nurse vaguely acknowledged that she had taken a food-laden plate out of the microwave but he did not comment on it, too engrossed with his worrying over her response; a worry that was only increased as she asked why he would speak like that.

Kieron's mind was blank; for a rare moment he had no answer for her and no words presented themselves to be rambled off his tongue like they so very often did. His fingers danced nervously on the corner of the large box on the table – the gift he had brought along with Mr Pine – but thankfully Maebelle spoke again before he became completely obligated to try to find some words amidst the jumble in his head. It was very difficult hearing her speaking about him like that; praise wasn't something he was overly used to and the clear frustration and sadness in her eyes stung more than he would have believed it could.

As Maebelle spun back around to face the microwave Kieron rubbed at his eyes, suddenly exhausted. This encounter was proving to be just as tiring as the few days with his family, and the combined stress of both was starting to take its toll on him. Upon hearing her quiet whispering Kieron lowered his hand, hazel eyes meeting blue, and for a moment he felt too stunned to move. Her raw honesty was agonising, and he stood up from his perch on the table and approached her with slow, careful steps.

Closing the distance to meet her halfway, Kieron reached up to take one of the mugs from her. Very softly the fingers of his left hand moved over the back of her hand and then her fingers, tracing their length before both his hands wrapped around the warm mug. His voice was quiet, distant. “I can't promise I'd be the right one. Or even the average one.” He breathed a low, humourless laugh. “But... I would like to see if I can at least be one that you would be happy with, if you would let me try?”

[Deleted]

Her heartbeat was trumping in both her ears when Kieron pushed himself away from the table to slowly emerge forward. Maebelle would have loved to back away and to corner herself for her actions might have been more impulsive then. Right now too much thought was being put into them as her mind racked with many options on how to handle this situation. His steps might have been slow to begin with, but one way or another she managed to take them in at an even slower pace than that. Eventually the man met her halfway and one would have thought it would make reality catch up – except that it didn’t. Instead Kieron’s fingertips trailed over her the back of her hand and then the fingers, making the world stop at that moment.

Mae’s breath caught in her throat and she quite probably would have melted into a puddle if it weren’t for him speaking up again. The initial statement got her to mentally place a pin against the bubble she was in right now, ready to pop it given those words did not give her any hope. It possibly showed as corners of her lips sunk, despite them twitching lightly in an attempt to keep a smile present. Eyes fell to the ice cold floor and arms folded against her chest as her back slumped some. An obvious pose of defeat as feet awkwardly shuffled backwards… until Kieron spoke a ‘but’.

Her head snapped up (ouch! Painful! But not enough to care) and while eyes could have widened at that request, they just softened in the most loving way possible. An unplanned chuckle, giving away just how many tension she had been cradling, slipped past her lips as both her hands reached forward to the warm mug that had just been taken away from them. It effortlessly ended up in hers again and soon Mae leaned past Kieron to place it down on the table behind him. With the item gone, however, this actually didn’t seem like a good plan anymore, and for a second she wondered what on earth she had been doing! The thing was… Mae knew well enough what her intention was.

So, blue optics followed her hands as they now drifted to his again. Fingers caressed over them, just like he had been doing moments before. The palms settled on the backs of his as fingers laced through his. Like that, Mae looked up again while guiding them to settle onto her waist. That’s when she let go and had her own extremities drift upwards between their bodies. One randomly settled on the nurse’s torso while the other continued its way up to his cheek. For a second hesitation seem to struck, but then it got absorbed again by the same loving look that had been there a minute or two ago.

“You don’t even have to try.” The whisper crept past her barely moving lips as she leaned in, soon enough planting them upon his as eyelids gave in to gravity. Her hand settled on his jawline as her thumb gently caressed the slightly stubbly skin.

[Kieron Sharpe]

When Maebelle took the warm mug away from him again Kieron couldn’t help feeling a little dejected, fully expecting her to now ask him to leave. However that feeling very quickly disappeared as he saw the look on her face, the curve of her lips and the way her eyes seemed to twinkle in the dull light from the decorated Christmas tree. He hadn’t been lying, he really did find her so very beautiful, and as she leaned past him to place the mug back down on the table Kieron felt a little shiver course down his spine. She was so close he could smell her lingering perfume, and it took every shred of control he possessed to not reach out and hold her protectively close.

As she turned back to him Kieron swallowed hard past the knot in his throat, hazel eyes meeting blue as he gazed at her. As Maebelle took his hands Kieron glanced down at them, watching their slow journey to where they settled on her waist. He could feel the warmth of her skin through the thin nightgown and his thumbs ghosted over the curve of her hips, the nurse barely breathing as he tried to come to terms with the fact that this was really happening.

When Maebelle’s lips met his own there was only a moments stunned hesitation from Kieron before he smiled into the kiss, lips soft and yielding against her warmth. He had played over this moment in his mind more times than he could count in so very many different scenarios, but not a one of them could have prepared him for this. The kiss was gentle and unhurried, and as Kieron felt Maebelle’s arms encircling his neck he all but melted into the contact. He could taste the sweetness of her breath, feel the warmth of her skin beneath his hands and it was a very physical effort for him to gently break the kiss, lowering his head so that his forehead could rest against hers, the tips of their noses touching and a contented smile curling his lips. His left hand very gently stroked her side, his right reaching up and tucking a long brunette curl behind her ear before fingertips gently brushed against her cheek.

After a long moment Kieron spoke, his voice low and sedate. “I was going to apologise for interrupting your dinner.” He chuckled softly, the tension of earlier easing away completely. “But I am glad I did. Happy Christmas, Maebelle.”

[Deleted]

The second Maebelle’s lips caught on to the gentle pressure which indicated that Kieron was returning the kiss, arms effortlessly snaked around his neck and her body found itself pressed closer against his. The moment, for as long as it lasted, was perfect. Completely lost within it, Mae took a couple of seconds to sink back into reality, cherishing the lingering feeling of his lips on hers as they lightly contracted inward after some distance between their mouths had been created again. The embrace of his neck relaxed some and lower arms more loosely draped over his broad shoulders before fingertips aimlessly ran through the hair at the nape of his neck. A little nervous chuckle, one she was unaware of that it had been kept for escaping, followed right after the nurse’s statement and all tension ebbed away as her body relaxed under the touch of his hands.

“Merry Christmas, Kieron.” And then eyes finally opened, settling on his hazel pair. The connection between their foreheads remained though and her voice barely rose a decibel. A hand would have motioned to the plate that had been taken out of the microwave, but the current position was too perfect to interrupt. “And dinner are the leftovers of what I cooked for you… In case you are hungry.” While she did not want him to feel bad about not having shown up while she had clearly put some effort into it, the gardener did wish for him to be aware that he meant enough to the extent that she would cook him something. It got accompanied by a lighthearted chuckle, not wanting him to take those words in a bad way. In the meanwhile hands also snuck away from the back of his head, moving to briefly cup Kieron’s jaw before stealing another gentle kiss.

“So… since I can consider you as my Christmas gift, does that mean I can’t unwrap that one?” Mae pulled back just enough to be able to give a little nod past his shoulder at the gift that flawlessly laid on the small kitchen table while hands sunk further down to flatly rest upon his toned chest. Of course Kieron had not been wrapped (though Maebelle wouldn’t have minded), but his presence and that kiss beat anything. Since the brunette had never been a materialistic person, she did not care too much about the gift, yet at the same time curiosity got the best of her.

Dinner and hot chocolate? Mae had to catch up on the loss of appetite from the last couple of days, but right now food was of no importance. Kieron, on the other hand,… “Or should I kiss you again to receive it?” An eyebrow playfully arched. Her mood had considerably lifted ever since that first one, and the bright smile that currently graced her face completely erased the memories of the sulk from before. Along with that came a little twinkle of joy in her eyes.