Time Warp: The Best of Us

[Sawyer Lynn]

Set the day of this

Damage control has never been something Sawyer was ever particularly good at. She was a chaotic entity herself and her doing this was pure irony. But she had promised Lucy and Penelope that she would handle this. And so there she was, up on the little pedestal where the officiant was looking at her in confusion.

Sawyer's eyes went straight to Mrs. Blaise, her eyes apologetic and quite frankly, a little fearful as she forced a smile on her face. The next person she looked at was Michael who by now probably already knew what happened and that look of realisation made Sawyer almost panic. Until she went over to Rowan.

After speaking to Penelope the week before all this happened, Sawyer had been avoiding her boy. It hadn't come easy for the voice mimic, making up excuses as to why she hadn't been coming home and avoiding any physical contact with him. Upset as she was, she wasn't the type to deny her carnal urges. But she did. And it was painful.

But now, looking at him, so dapper in his three piece suit, Sawyer actually felt calm. Like this wasn't a big deal. Because in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't. "Um...so there's been a slight change of plans." Sawyer started, projecting her voice more so with her abilities. The crowd started murmuring and the death glare she got from Mrs. Blaise confirmed that the lady knew exactly what the change was. "Yes, well...the wedding's been cancelled because our two lovebirds just couldn't wait to go on their honeymoon, so they eloped!" She said with a chuckle, and by then the murmurs escalated and from the corner of her eyes she could see Mrs. Blaise getting out of her seat but Sawyer kept her gaze on Rowan.

"They said to thank you all for coming and they hope you enjoy the after party. Cheers!" Sawyer waved to the crowd a little before walking off the pedestal only to be confronted by Mrs. Blaise who looked the picture of calm. Sawyer knew better.

"Sawyer," her soft tone of voice didn't even betray the fire Sawyer could see in her eyes. "Might I suggest you start telling me where my daughter has gone off to? I won't even bother with the state of your dress if you tell me where she is."

Sawyer had options. Run, or scream for mercy. Neither were desirable at this state, though the former was now easier to do without her heels and the lack of skirt on her dress. Instead, she squared her shoulders and cleared her throat, keeping an eye out for where Rowan had gone. "Um, I actually have no idea where they went." She chuckled nervously just as the older woman grabbed her arm. "Sawyer...I swear to God if you do not tell me where my daughter and her...wife have gone to, I will personally see to it that this is the last family event you'll ever attend."

In that instant, Sawyer really wished her abilities could extend to other people. Because that threat would have sounded ten times funnier had it been made in a less menacing British accent. She supposed, as far as threats went, what Mrs. Blaise said seemed rather tame. But Sawyer knew better.

"I would love to stay and chat, Mrs. B but I really don't know where they went. I sent them to the airport and left them there to come here. I'm really sorry but I have to go." Sawyer had the nerve to pat Mrs. Blaise's arm as she pulled hers out of the other woman's death grip.

Walking over to Rowan, her heart beat thudded in her ears. She cleared her throat and gave him a forced smile. "What a day huh? Uh...wanna step outside?" In the corner of her eyes, she could see Michael trying to placate his mother, a ghost of a grin showing on his face.

[Rowan Booker]

Whatever the hell was going on, Rowan was definitely just as in the dark about things as everyone else seemed to be. Everyone, except Sawyer. Maybe it bothered him because she hadn't even told him and she supposedly loved him. Maybe it had nothing to do with the fact that Lucy had always told him everything and he'd never been in the dark about her before. Maybe, but unlikely. The irritation and hurt that he felt, was all directed towards his best friend, not even the woman that had made her change.

He stood there, dressed in his finest because he had been trying to be supportive. This was what he got though, going against everything he felt by supporting her, and he got put in the dark with the rest of everyone who only matters a little. He didn't quite know what emotion was at the forefront of his mind. Hurt, betrayal, anger, frustration, there was so much going on within him, that he was having trouble standing there as calmly as he was.

It was all a fucking conspiracy. In Rowan's mind, he'd formed the worst possible idea of why things were happening this way, and it made his stomach twist. Love, what the fuck had he been thinking? He should have listened to his mother. She was right, lust outweighed love and love simply didn't exist for people like him. It was clear in the way that Lucy had drifted away from him. It was clear in the way that Sawyer wouldn't even touch him anymore. And to think...he'd been ready to marry her. It was a swift kick to the groin as the realization hit and it took everything he had not to walk away before Sawyer could get to him.

Her question didn't receive much of an answer, instead just an inclination of the head in the direction of the door. Rowan waited for her to lead, following in order to keep from just flat out leaving. He knew that if he had gone first, he wouldn't have turned back and he would have just went straight to the car and bolted. Back to Boston, ditching everyone else the way that they seemed to be ditching him. Once outside, he planted his feet and crossed his arms across his chest, that awkward introvert making an appearance once more, though he'd never been quite like this in front of Sawyer. He shielded himself with his arms and stared at the ground like he always used to, waiting for her to say something.

Something that would prove him wrong...

[Sawyer Lynn]

Sawyer hadn't seen this side of Rowan ever. It had either been the loving boyfriend, the supportive best friend, the asshole that sometimes made her ribs crack from laughing and the passionate dancer she had fallen in love with. Seeing him closed off like this, it hurt.

But her resolve won out in the end. She knew she had to set things straight or she would suffer. In the back of her mind though, she wondered if that meant she was willing to make him suffer.

Suddenly aware of how she was dressed, Sawyer nervously pulled her hair down, removing all the clips that had kept her hair from blowing up all over her face. It was mostly to stall and she knew Rowan knew that.

"Penny told me about your encounter with her." She murmured in the middle of removing her pins. "Well, I threatened her to tell me. Semantics." Waving her hand in a dismissive manner, Sawyer finally looked up at Rowan, a mixture of hurt, confusion and a bit of anger clear on her face. "Why would you do that to them?"

[Rowan Booker]

As she stalled, Rowan tried his damnedest to breathe and calm himself down. He wasn't a very outwardly angry person, but he could feel it boiling inside of him. The doubt, the regret, the pain, it was like his first senior year all over again. But instead of having his best friend there to hold him and make him feel better, he was stuck to handle it on his own. He didn't have anyone anymore and it was like he'd never had anyone before. When did he suddenly become the one that no one wanted?

The place beneath his eyes were stinging and he thought he was going to cry, or scream or leave. Of all the options, leaving was the best one. No one needed to see him vulnerable or upset. She didn't need to see what she was doing to him, the affect she had on him. He didn't want her to know all of the things he'd had planned for them. Not anymore.

He waited as patiently as was possible...and was ultimately disappointed and disgusted with the first word...no, the first sentence out of her mouth. And then there was a question that made him think he should have just left when he had the chance. That's what this was all about. Penelope not keeping her fucking mouth shut. Why would he do that to him? What exactly had he done to them? Were they not scheduled to get marry today? Were they not out getting married somewhere else? If he'd done anything, that wouldn't be happening.

"Wow. Ya know what, why don't you go join them so you can just have your womanly threesome because clearly I don't mean shit to you if you're just going to come at me like this. I don't fucking need it, not now. Not from you," Rowan said through his teeth. All of the pent up anger and betrayal and pain that he felt coming to a head. It showed in his voice, the snark and bitter edge to his words.

The way she looked at him, as if he was some kind of monster that wanted everyone to be miserable, it killed him. Rowan ran his fingers through his hair and laughed harshly, "Can't fucking believe I didn't see it coming."

[Sawyer Lynn]

His reaction to her question was definitely not something she anticipated. Neither was her emotion that burned every which way. It didn't take long for the emotion to turn physical as her hand reached up and across Rowan's cheek. She didn't even register if it hit him or not. She just knew she had to get it out of her system.

The thought of ever telling him about her condition flew out the window right then.

"You didn't? Gee, I wonder why. I mean really. All these years being together but your mind elsewhere?" She started, her hands shaking a little with the anger she was still holding on to. Thankfully, people have filed out of the reception area and the ones who were still there were busy with everything else.

"Did you really think I never noticed how you put Lucy above everybody else?" She asked, her voice dripping with venom, with every syllable intending to hurt. "I fucking put up with being second best for eleven fucking years, Booker."

Curling her hands into fists, she looked away from him, her anger almost instantly turning into hurt. "I know you love Lucy. I love her too. And I understand that having someone like her is important but did you forget that I was your girlfriend? And Lucy was someone else's girlfriend too?" She asked, her voice cracking a little.

"And don't you fucking dare say you never meant anything to me. I wouldn't have stayed with you for all those years knowing you loved someone else more than me if I didn't." Sawyer pressed her thumb against her brow bone, trying to get her breathing under control.

[Rowan Booker]

His head jerked to the side a bit when she slapped him and his own hand reached up to where the heat was now burning in his cheek. She'd hit him. She hit him because of Penelope. Rowan couldn't get the thought out of his mind and it crushed him, making it next to impossible to even look at her again. He said he loved her before, but now, he wasn't quite so sure what demented thought that had been. She clearly didn't love him, so what the fuck had he been thinking to love her?

His eyes stayed on the ground, his hand still resting on his cheek. It wasn't just his cheek that hurt anymore. He was feeling that same crushing, gut-wrenching feeling that he had the first time something like this happened. Yet somehow, this was worse. He felt like he was being torn apart from the inside out and every word was just a chunk of him being tossed away. His eyebrows pulled together, he didn't even know what she was talking about!

At his best friend's (though somehow it seemed like former best friend was more appropriate now) name, his eyes slid up to hers and his expression was bleak and cold. Was that what this was really about? Lucy? "Careful, Sawyer," He said in a low and threatening tone. He didn't take well to people talking about his and Lucy's relationship because no one really knew all of it. Hell, he was pretty sure even Lucy didn't know half of what their friendship had done for him.

"I'm pretty fucking sure I wasn't screwing Lucy in the last eleven fucking years! And I sure as hell know that I wasn't living with her. Or did you forget that? Because clearly nothing I do is ever good enough for you. You always have to go to them. Do you realize that you're no better than I am!" They both had their reasons for going to Lucy or in Sawyer's case, Penelope. Rowan's had a lot to do with his cousin's death that had taken him years to face. Sawyer's had to do with her parents.

Their problem wasn't just one or the other. They both sucked at communication and Rowan knew that.

"Right, Sawyer. You sure as fuck know every god damn thing about me and how I feel. Here's something you didn't fucking know; I didn't want anyone to know that I didn't approve of this wedding because I wanted to try and be happy for my best friend. Because yes, she means a lot to me. For a while, she meant everything to me. But did you know that if it wasn't for her, I probably never would have even fucking KNOWN you to begin with? If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't have had you to help me through all of the other shit that I have as baggage that Lucy couldn't help me with! But no! Don't listen to me. Listen to fucking Penny who HATES me and has hated me just as much as I've hated her. This isn't all MY fucking problem." He could feel himself getting worked up.

His free hand gripped his pocket where the little box was stored and he felt sick. She didn't know. And she wouldn't know if she kept going to Penelope for everything. At least he was trying to pull back from Lucy. But that was easier said than done when she had been all but his lifeline for so long when no one else gave two fucks about him. Did Sawyer know that? Probably not. Did Lucy? No, she didn't. And Penelope didn't know fucking dick about anything that had to do with him.

[Sawyer Lynn]

"I'm so glad that's what our relationship means to you." Sawyer scoffed, a little hurt that he used the word screwing. It was a weird sensation but she would have thought he viewed their sex life as something a lot more meaningful than screwing around. She wanted to believe that it was just him being angry, but it still hurt.

His ensuing statement made no sense to her but she tried to calm herself down before responding. "You don't understand it do you? Our relationship has been my number one priority. I've tried to ignore it when you diss Penelope and basically ignore her when we're out together." She paused and wiped at the tear that escaped.

"And don't fucking give me this bullshit about wanting to be happy for a friend. Because if you wanted to be happy for her, you would have dropped your vendetta against Penelope a long time ago." She pointed out. "What I don't understand is why you think Penelope hates you when she's done nothing wrong to you other than make Lucy happy all these years."

His reminder that Lucy was the one who properly introduced Rowan to Sawyer stung. But she knew that had nothing to do with what they were talking about. Rowan was clearly trying to make her feel guilty and shitty about coming at him like this.

"Why do you hate her so much, Row?" Sawyer asked, her voice breaking a little, despite her anger. "I don't understand why you're so spiteful of the one person who managed to make Lucy happy all these years."

[Rowan Booker]

"Says the one who's coming at me based on something someone else said, but ya know, whatever. You're right, I think so poorly of the past decade with you," If she wanted to believe that, fine. He was the bad guy, always, why should now be any different? Rowan didn't like fighting, in fact it was one of the main things that made him a wreck physically, mentally and emotionally. Which was why typically he didn't go for it, he bowed out of a fight, but Sawyer....

Sawyer was worth fighting with if it meant that she could realize he was fighting her to make her see how ridiculous this whole damn thing was.

"If our relationship was your number one priority, why does it matter how I treat someone else? If you didn't like someone, I didn't judge or come after you about it. Penelope may be with Lucy, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. Did you want me to say something asshole-ish to her instead of ignoring her?" Rowan wanted to just ditch. This was too focused on Penelope and not enough on them. He didn't understand why it had to be so focused on her, and not on what the real issue was.

Rowan laughed, "Oh yeah, such an invite to tell you why I don't like her. All she's ever done is make Lucy happy. Lucy and I used to make Penelope miserable before any of this started. And then she starts sleeping with her, convincing me that it was no more than sex, meanwhile giving me shit about caring for her roommate. And right after I broke up with him, she falls in love with that..." He cut off and shook his head. "But even that's not why I hate her, nope, that's what started it. What set it off was when Lucy ditched me for her. I couldn't stand it because it had always been her and I against everyone else. Call me a selfish prick because I am one, but losing my best friend to a girl that we used to torture? A girl that hated us? Well, I wasn't thrilled to say the least." He rolled his eyes and just shook his head.

He hated the way it all sounded. He was an asshole, that much was clear. He had been possessive of Lucy for such a long time, only to watch her get snatched away from him in an instant while he had been gone away at Boston. It was hardly fair for Penny to be a saint when he suffered more than anyone realized. Melodramatic, but true. Penelope pulled Lucy away from him more and more with each day. And now, this had been the final tug. She had Lucy and he was slipping out of the picture. "But whatever, fuck me I guess. Fuck me for being an asshole, for giving too many fucks, and for apparently not being good enough to you. I hope you find someone that can treat you and Penelope to the best of his ability." Rowan sucked in a shaky breath and turned away again, walking towards his car.

[Sawyer Lynn]

"Oh my fucking God, do you know how ridiculous you sound right now, Rowan?" Sawyer asked, laughing bitterly at the situation she had thrown them both in. She knew breakups were bad but this one definitely took the cake.

"It matters because it's someone I care about too. You don't seem to understand what that means. When you care about someone, you respect their wishes, you respect their needs above everything else. You may think that the irony in this situation is that I am not respecting your wishes and your needs by hating Penelope as well but do you not understand how stupid that is? You say you love Lucy. You say you care about Lucy and then you go and hate the person who loves her? What part of that makes any sense to you?" Sawyer asked, balling her hands into fists.

When Rowan continued, things got even more ridiculous and Sawyer couldn't help but wonder what she had been thinking falling in love with this moron.

"Wait..." Sawyer shook her head, her smile completely rid of mirth as she tried to piece her own thoughts to this stupidity. "Are you trying to tell me that you hate Penelope because Lucy stopped paying attention to you? And...and are you actually fucking telling me that you think it's smart to hate someone you fucking tortured in high school? In high school, Rowan! A fucking decade and a half ago! Don't you realise how fucking insane you sound?" Sawyer furiously ran her fingers through her hair, turning away from him, not even wanting to look at his face.

"Oh my God," she laughed to herself and shook her head. "You're not just a fucking asshole, Rowan! And don't you fucking dare walk away from me. Not you. Not like this." She walked over to him and grabbed his arm, turning him around. "You don't get to fucking walk away from me after giving me that fucked up reason for trying to stop your supposed best friend from a lifetime with someone you know she fucking loves." She reached out to grab him by the lapels.

"If you had just paid me an inch of the attention you had given to Lucy over the years and if you had not treated me like a fucking consolation prize all these years, I wouldn't have to pick a fight with you about this. I wouldn't have to throw eleven years of my life in the dumps because I fucking loved you and treated you like my family." She could feel her throat closing up as the words rushed out of her like vomit. "You were the only person I wanted to be with at the end of the day but because you were stupid enough to try and ruin a perfectly good thing, I feel like I wasted my life loving you." She could feel the burning sensation behind her eyes, signalling the impending tears.

She laughed incredulously, wiping at the tears that managed to spill over. "I can't fucking believe the one person I thought I could trust not to make me cry is the one who does." She took a deep breath, letting the tears fall. "Fucking moron."

[Rowan Booker]

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I had to kiss Penelope's ass just because you guys care about her. She sure as shit has never done anything for me to make me want to be nice to her." He folded his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes, "And she didn't always love Lucy. I'm sorry that my feelings don't just up and change just because theirs did." Call it childish or even stupid, but he wasn't about to change everything just because Lucy decided she actually fell for the broad. It wasn't like anyone gave him that courtesy when he'd been dating anyone that wasn't already part of their friend group. He'd only been given a reprieve from the same shit because Sawyer had been the only one he got serious with.

"God fucking dammit Sawyer, what the hell do you fucking want from me? You want me to tell you why I hate her and then I get fucking shit for it when I do tell you! Sorry for holding grudges and being fucking good at it. Sorry for not being pissed off at someone who for a while was all I had. Is that what you want? You want me to apologize for how I feel? Fine. I'm so god damn sorry that my feelings are stupid and ridiculous." He should have run. No, he had to walk away from her only for her to catch up and prolong the agony. What did she want from him?!

Rowan didn't look at her, he just pulled his arm away because the way his stomach clenched when she touched him wasn't something he wanted to feel again.

Her words made him feel like he was going to be sick. She didn't see it. She didn't understand. "Keep going, yup. Just keep kicking me while I'm down. But Penny's the fucking victim here right? Fine. But lemme tell you something that not even Lucy knows. The only person that knows is Beat because I needed a girl's opinion and she was the only one I wanted to tell. After I talked to Penelope, once Lucy got back, I tried. I did just about everything I could to shut myself up when she said something I didn't agree with. I actually tried to push back any ill feelings that I had towards her from high school. And you know...it actually started working," He laughed shortly and shook his head. "The more I thought about it the more I figured, ya know, good for them. Against all fucking judgments, they still were going through with it. That's what love is, I'd only ever seen it with my aunt and uncle, but I saw it in them too..."

Rowan dug in his pocket and pulled out the box, "I've had it for a while, waiting until all of their wedding stuff was done so that I didn't ruin their spotlight with our own. But I guess now it doesn't really matter. Take it, you can sell it on ebay or something. I don't want it, not if this is how things are going to be with us. You think I didn't love you as much as I loved Lucy...more than I loved Lucy. Well then it wouldn't have been right to ask you to marry me anyway if I couldn't make you believe that you were everything to me." Tears filled his eyes and he held the little black, velvet box out to her.

[Sawyer Lynn]

Sawyer looked at Rowan in disbelief. There was no way he actually thought he was the victim in all this. Yes, the conversation had taken a turn that Sawyer hadn't intended. The problem she had used to distract her from the real reason why she wanted to break things off with Rowan was getting to be a much bigger and deep-seated problem.

It was clear to the voice mimic that even without bringing up her inability to produce children, there was real reason for her to break things off with Rowan. And the messed up part about all of this was Sawyer still wanted to salvage the relationship. She somehow thought things could better itself if only Rowan would just direct his anger properly.

But no, Sawyer knew the break up was now inevitable. She would still love Rowan, that much was obvious. His misguided hatred didn't negate the genuine feelings she had felt throughout their entire relationship. But it was undoubtedly clear that their relationship was toxic. Rowan was toxic.

The ring box appearing in front of her did not change that fact. He was going to ask her to marry him even after the cold shoulder she had given him the weeks heading up to today. What had he been thinking? That marriage was going to solve everything?

The thought of her not being able to have a child crept up once more and that was when her eyes started filling up with more tears. "Fuck you, Rowan Booker." She whispered, angrily wiping her tears away as she shoved him out of her way. She had had enough. This was probably never going to be resolved and she would much rather leave it like this because neither of them was going to back down.

"In case you didn't get the memo, we're through. Pack up all your shit and leave." She forced some coherence through her quiet sobbing before walking to her car, locking herself in the backseat. It didn't take long for her tears to consume her.