you owe me beer

[Percie Hobbes]

"It's Percie."

*Sounds of ice in a glass being shaken slightly*

"So I was following your son around today and had to save him from an irate drug dealer, now he and his boyfriend are necking on my couch, but don't worry though because apparently said boyfriend gives great head."

*Percie giggles at what she imagines must be a hilarious look on Derek's face*

[Deleted]

It was late at night, so Derek was not expecting a phone call, especially not from Ms. Hobbes. And from the sounds of it, an already intoxicated Ms. Hobbes. Well, he didn't have much of a right to judge, Derek himself was enjoying a scotch. And before he could say anything, after hearing the long winded report that this drunken woman was giving him, Derek was already thinking that one glass was not going to be enough.

"..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................that stupid boy."

This was not what he expected to hear on his first report from her. And certainly not in this manner.

"I never told you to make contact with the boy, only to follow him. I hope you aren't expecting me to thank you for 'saving his life'."

If the boy got himself into that kind of life, then he had to suffer the consequences.

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie snorted derisvily.

"Psh. Please, I didn't intervene so that you could thank me, I did it because he was in danger. Jesus Christ not all of us can be made of stone," she snapped. "And at that point "making contact" with him was inevitable," she informed him, deepening her voice to mimick's his words. "I couldn't very well fly off like Superman, though if YOU know how to do that I'll gladly submit for lessons."

[Deleted]

Derek released a grunt of disdain. “It wasn’t your responsibility,” he insisted. He shook his head and stared into the near empty glass, swirling the ice cubes in circles. Had he not been drinking, Derek might have been more mindful of his words. “What kind of stupid woman are you, throwing yourself into a situation like that,” he mumbled. “….do you have anything more pertinent to offer me other than things I’m already well aware of?” Derek knew the boy had a boyfriend, though he didn’t know about the drugs, though he wasn’t wholly surprised by this.

[Percie Hobbes]

"Oh I'm sorry Mr. Master-of-life-and-death situations. I was a cop once upon a time, if I see someone in trouble I help them. You don't get to control that part of me," she snapped in irritation. Now that the alcohol had loosened her tongue she was more than ready to throw down in a manner of speaking.

She rolled her eyes at Derek's tone. "Yeah, he's staying on at school for another year and his grades aren't so great...OH! And He calls his boyfriend "Squishy". He tried to cover it up on my couch earlier but I'm not a moron despite what you may think."

[Deleted]

What was with this woman? Clearly when she partook of drink, she recessed several years, possibly back into adolescence with her impertinent name calling. “Have you no other way of communicating any of this to me than with half a liter of alcohol in your system?” He set down his own glass and started rubbing his temples. Derek was definitely going to need something stronger. Something that he didn’t have stocked in his cabinets.

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie stuck her tongue out on the other side of the phone before answering. "NOPE." she proclaimed loudly as she took another drink of her whiskey.

[Deleted]

What was she? A child? Derek sighed. Very loudly.

"Fine...if you're so intent on delivering your report to me while completely smashed, then we may as well do it right. Meet me at XXXXXX and I'll let you talk my ear off." While he helped himself to something that might make this night go away.

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie mentally pat herself on the back for irritating her equally annoying client and pumped her fist in victory when he gave her the name of a nearby bar. "Great, you're picking up the tab!" she announced happily, hanging up before he could argue with her. Resolved and grateful to have a place to get away Percie pocketed her phone and walked back into her office.