Dr. Finch Gamble
Mar 28, 2015 13:03:18 GMT -5
Post by Dr. Finch Gamble on Mar 28, 2015 13:03:18 GMT -5
The easy S T U F F . . .
Name: Dr. Finch Arthur Gamble
Nickname: The Doctor,minion
Age: Thirty four, 6/21/1980
Member Group: Local
Power(s): Non-powered
Play By: Doctor Steel
Let it F L O W . . .
“Gooood evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Welcome to Stranger No Danger! I’m your host, Bob Wilson. Tonight, we have a particularly interesting fellow whom I am sure that we all want to meet. Sooo, let’s get to it! Please join me in welcoming...Doctor Finch Gamble!”
“Thank you, thank you. My, what an honor it is to be on the show tonight, Mr. Wilson.”
“Oooh, very courteous. Please, do call me Bob, Finch. Can I call you Finch?”
“Bobfinch? I’m afraid that I’m not familiar with that species of finch. But I shall comply with your wishes regardless. To answer your second question: Absolutely not. Do you have a problem with ‘Dr. Gamble’?”
“Um.. r-right. Moving on! How long have you been living in Pilot Ridge, Dr. Gamble?”
“Ah, yes. If you could excuse for a moment while I take a brief journey down memory lane...........................I have returned. And now I shall tell you! I was born to a pair of loving but destitute parents. I knew they were loving because most of their time was spent in the throes of passion ................ Hahahahahahahaha you should’ve seen your face, hysterical! Hehehehehehehehe. Honestly, however, I was the middle child of three, and all five of us slept in one bedroom. My parents spent most of their time not seeing each other. One worked during the day, and one during the night. Every month they’d get bored and switch times. We three children were each only about a year apart, which my older sister Wren detested. My younger sister Dove didn’t mind. But she didn’t mind most things anyway. I mean, it’s hard to have an opinion when you’re a stuffed bird. But she’s a fine specimen, even if she can no longer pass on her genetic information.... I snagged, snuffed, and stuffed her myself! When I was eight years old! That’s what really clued my parents in to my aptitude for science.
After I graduated from high school, I was fortunate enough to receive what amounted to a full ride to the state university. I completed my undergraduate degree in biological sciences after a year. Or two. Or three. I don’t remember... Anywho! If my memory serves me well, I moved on to more prestigious universities for my graduate degrees at age 21. Ooh, fun fact! I’m working on getting a PhD from each one of the Ivy League universities. Currently, I am at 40.625% progress ex-actly. It has been most interesting to experience the variations among the laboratories. Unfortunately, of the ones I've worked in, they haven't been quite sturdy enough for serious scientific inquires. I've let the deans know, and I've even chipped in to replace some of their old equipment with much better versions.
To backtrack a little bit, the work of Dr. Atticus Proctor caught my eye towards the end of my undergraduate studies, and I so desired to work with him. Oh, to be young and naive......
I did fulfill that desire, and worked in close proximity to Dr. Proctor for several years, with my doctorate work as a side exploration. Then I evolved as a person and a scientist and - yes, I know that the word ‘evolve’ applies to populations and not to individuals, but the ordinary modern-day connotation of the word is perfect here - I rue the fact that my mentor did not follow suit. Alas, it appears that he will remain behind the times.”
“...well..I’m not quite sure what to say after such an ...intriguing… story, Dr. Gamble.”
“That’s alright, Bobfinch.”
“You say that you and your mentor parted ways. What plans do you have in the future? And it’s just Bob, by the way.”
“Very well, Bob-by-the-way. I rece-”
“-Are you pulling my leg, Dr. Gamble?”
“With all due respect, Bob-by-the-way, I would have thought that a grown man like yourself would be able to discern if your leg was being pulled on.”
“Ah....yes. I’m just testing you. Haha.”
“A test? I love tests! What kind of test am I doing?”
“Nevermind, Dr. Gamble. I was only making a joke...”
“Oh. Well, I do not think that you should continue to use that joke. It is not very funny.”
“...I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you do not have to apologize for your lack of humor; not everyone can be amusing.”
“O-kay! And we'll be back after a commercial break!"
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"Welcome back everyone! If you've just joined us, my name is Bob Wilson and this is Stranger No Danger. Today's guest is the Doctor Finch Gamble. Back to the interview! Dr. Gamble, could you elaborate on your future plans now that you and your mentor have parted ways?”
“I will become the most renowned scientist in world, of course. What did you think I would say?”
"Um, yes. Of course. Just getting on the record, Dr. Gamble."
"My laboratory will be renowed throughout the whole world, the solar system even, for its mysterious location that may or may not be on my very own island. It's walls will all be red, for obvious reasons. At the front door, there will be a live-updating screen showing the xkcd webcomic. The door will only open for people who can correctly explain why it is funny. I can't tell you much more, but know this: the best-kept secrets of nature will be revealed inside my laboratory, and I will be the one who decides if the rest of you are lucky enough to know! And Dr. Proctor will never step foot inside.... Doesn't that sound like a dream?"
"Yes, it does, as a matter of face. Very much like a dream. So, Dr. Gamble, how does your family feel about all this?"
"Eh.. I'm not all too certain. My parents, bless their hearts, can't really comprehend what I'm doing. It's a very different world for them, poor things. Their schools were never thorough enough. That's something else I like to do: help the bright young minds that lack a means to rise to the top. I've sponsored a new science lab for a local high school, and I've set up a STEM scholarship fund. Anyway, Wren, my sister, doesn't talk to me much. But she stays in touch with our parents. Last I heard, she's over in Paris either designing clothes or wearing them and showing them off in Fashion Week. And Dove, my younger sister, she lives on my windowsill and watches the laboratory when I'm away. Very sweet, she is. And not at all a burden to feed and clothe, since she doesn't eat and doesn't wear clothes. Oh! Look at the time! Thank again for having me here. I must be off. I'm late I'm late!"
"Wait! You can't just run off like- I mean- so many behind-the-scenes- paths and...well. Um. I guess you can leave like that... Well! Thank you for watching everyone, I hope you enjoyed this episode of Stranger No Danger. My name is Bob Wilson and I hope you have a fabulous night....
Are we off camera? Good. Oh...I'm gonna need an aspirin. I am never going to ask another scientist to come on...."
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