Time Warp: The Sun Is Gone

[Evan Brackett]

When Levi spoke, Van looked at him, biting his lip as the younger man tried to get up and failed. The phaser was feeling guilty, as if he caused the burns himself. His outlook brightened at the request, however, and he looked over at Nomi to await her response. Her mild protest was disheartening, but Evan was glad when she finally agreed to leave, and he let out his breath in relief. He hadn't realized he'd been holding it. "Thank you." The architect was looking at Nomi as he said it, but it was really thanks meant for Levi.

Van watched her until she shut the door, and then gave Levi his full attention. "You scared them off?" he repeated with a chuckle. "Sure it wasn't your sister? She got to me." Big sister Nomi was definitely the new number one on his ever growing list of fears.

But all jokes aside, he still had something important to say. "Look, Levi. I know I've been stupid, and I did some horrible things to you. I shouldn't have gotten angry when you told my brother we were together, I shouldn't have been angry that you wanted to make up for what happened, and I definitely shouldn't have yelled at you for it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His turned his head down as he continued, "Sometimes I wish I just could have been the superhero you always said I was. I know I've let you down, you don't have to forgive me. I'm just...sorry." He didn't care if Levi didn't want to forgive him--in fact, he'd almost prefer it--but he wanted the other man to know that he did regret what he did. "This is all my fault, isn't it? I'm too stupid to get anything right, not even my own life."

[Levi Xu]

"Yeah. Her 'nice Jewish girls' usually weren't thrilled I had an ex-boyfriend." He wasn't completly joking. Back in New York, they'd talked about other people they'd dated at one point. Levi had glossed over the whole group with a shrug, saying that he'd spent too much of his time studying and he just hadn't been interested then. It wasn't entirely the truth. "But Nomi probably helped."

To be honest, the interpreter didn't know what to do with Evan's apology, how to process it. For the past few months, something inside of him had shut down completely. Hearing the other man apologize for something that was completely Levi's fault just sounded strange. So he just squeezed Evan's hand and shook his head as much as the bandage on his face would allow. "You...you didn't do this, and you're not stupid. You were right. I always misinterpret things."

Nomi had been worried that Levi would fall for Evan again. The problem with that mindset is the idea that he'd ever stopped loving the other man. "You were always a superhero to me. You were there for me at Hammel when I...." His voice trailed off. Levi had long since realized that what Mr. Underwood had taught him was wrong, but that never changed his memory of that feeling of abandonment, that first day at Hammel.

[Evan Brackett]

Van shook his head. "Your sister is right. I've ruined you." He was smirking, but he wasn't sure if he was still joking. Yeah, he remembered their conversations about past relationships. After Jake had been mentioned once, he came up multiple times, and then other people followed. It was just something that they happened to bring up, or so he had thought. Thinking back on it now, all of Evan's relationships had reached a level that Levi's never did. Studying was an excuse that could work for maybe one or two relationships, but as a studious person himself, Evan knew not everyone was put off by that. He wasn't fooled anymore.

"No, it wasn't just that," he argued. "It wasn't really that at all. I mean, did you seriously believe I had sex with you just because I wanted to get laid? I have never been that guy." Those were the kind of people he despised. He never intended to be like that. "I was just looking for a reason to be mad at you. I didn't want to accept that, after a failed engagement and seven years of separation, I still wanted to be with you. I had thought I was over you." Maybe he had been over the other man by the time he got that call, but something had changed between then and the day they moved into the apartment.

The architect looked up, the sides of his mouth twitching up in a sad smile. "But I wasn't there when it was important. I should have just accepted us as a couple. You wouldn't even be here right now if I hadn't forced you out." He and Levi could have been living happily in New York right now, no drama or new damages. No burns or bandages. More than just co-existing, but making each of their lives something worth living.

Evan had ruined Levi, and he had ruined himself too.

[Levi Xu]

After their second breakup--which wasn't really a breakup because breakups required being together--yes, Levi believed it. The single word that hurt him the most during their fight was convenient. Hearing that Evan had been lying was such a relief it made his chest hurt. He wasn't just convenient. Evan still cared.

Evan still cared now, or else he wouldn't be there. "You're here, now." He was lying in a hospital bed and the other man had flown halfway around the world for him. Yes, he was there when it was important.

Levi's voice was thin and wavery when he spoke. He wanted to cry with relief; the other man didn't hate him. "Van, what do you want from me?" The problem was, he was scared now. "I want...." His hand clung tighter to Evan's hand, giving him an anchor. "I need to know what you want from me. I love you, but I don't know if I can go through it again."

A third time would kill him.

[Evan Brackett]

Evan did care, and he wasn't ready to forgive himself for causing Levi to leave New York. It had been nearly nine months since they fought. He could have apologized sooner. "Just a little too late, don't you think?" It wasn't his fault that terrorists bombed the new meta school, but he did indirectly caused Levi's injuries.

He didn't have to think about his response, he knew exactly what he wanted. Squeezing the other man's hand, he replied, "I want you to know that I regret what I said. I want to stop screwing up your life. I want to stop hurting you." Both emotionally and physically. "Most of all, I just want you to be happy."

The phaser hesitated before continuing. He was also scared. Scared of the past, scared of the future, scared of being wrong again. But this was something that needed to be said, more so than just an apology. After all, he had fought long and hard for these few minutes, hadn't he? "I love you too, but if seeing me walk out that door and never come back makes you happy, I will do that for you."

[Levi Xu]

"No." His voice was choked up, but he meant it. There was no way Nomi called to tell Evan he was in hospital. He would have had to track him down himself. And he was there when Levi was hurt and scared, his superhero once again.

"I don't want you to leave," he clung to the older man's hand and blinked away tears. "I'm just so scared..." his voice trailed off. He loved Evan, and he'd been carrying the guilt from the not-engagement for too long. "I never stopped being in love with you. Even after college..." He stopped abruptly and tried once again to sit up, managing to get halfway there before the pain knocked him down again.

"My bag. I had my laptop bag with me. Where is it? I need it." The heart rate monitor started beeping faster as his voice rose to a frantic pitch, "I had it with me. Evan, I always have it."

[Evan Brackett]

The sadness that Van's face held vanished as his smile broadened. "Then I'll stay." He shifted in his chair so that he was closer, now sitting on the end. For the first time in years, he found himself wishing he had his right hand again, just so that he could wipe the tears from Levi's eyes. "You don't have to be scared, I'll stay...D-don't get up." The architect put his prosthetic hand against the younger man's chest, to keep him from trying to sit again.

"Shh, Levi. It's okay," he hushed. Evan glanced at the EKG machine, hoping that Nomi couldn't hear it going nuts out in the hallway. It would shock him if she didn't blame him for getting her brother riled up. "Calm down, I'll find it for you." The phaser looked around the room, then got up to search the counters and cabinets for signs of the other man's personal belongings. The holding bin, which was clearly labeled, wasn't hard to find, the thing he was searching for on the top of the pile. Evan recognized the bag right away, recalling that, even when they were at their own apartment, it was never far from Levi's side.

He returned to the bed with the laptop bag in hand, taking the chair on the left side this time. "It's right here, I have it," he told Levi in a soothing voice, holding up the case so he could see it. "It's okay." Well, relatively okay. The material that made up the bag was singed and the strap had been cut, but everything else seemed to be intact.

[Levi Xu]

"No, that's not it. You need to find it." Levi winced a little from the pressure on his chest. Once again, it hit him exactly how much he hurt just then. His back and shoulder felt like they were on fire, and for all he knew, they had been. "You need to get it..." He heard the beeping speed up too, and knew that someone would come in shortly if he didn't calm down.

He couldn't calm down though. Not if it was gone. Not if it was in rubble somewhere. He might have whimpered as Evan searched the room for his things, but he wasn't really paying attention to that. Levi was more focused on how he couldn't turn his head without the pain reaching unmanageable levels.

And then his superhero was back at his side, holding the bag. Tears were still stinging in his eyes as he smiled at the architect. "Van. It's in the front pocket."

The pain and guilt weren't the only things he carried with him.

[Evan Brackett]

"It's alright, Levi. I found it," he assured, not quite understanding that the bag wasn't what Levi was looking for. Evan blinked at him for a moment when he was told to look in the front pocket, then set it on his lap so he could do so. It took some fighting with the zipper--which wasn't easy when it had suffered fire damage and he only had one hand to work it with--before he gave up on it and phased his fingers through the material. He still didn't like to phase, but if Levi wanted what was inside, he was willing to do it.

Closing his fingers around the first solid object he could find, Van pulled it out of the pocket. It was a shock for him to find the ring box in his hand; he had to admit that what he did that night was spiteful, and, while he had told the other man to keep it, it did surprise him to see the relic from their original relationship. The box itself had been dented, but Evan popped it open to find the ring safely resting inside.

"You kept the ring," he stated, a hint of disbelief in his voice. Not only kept it, but took care of it. The silvery band looked exactly like it had nine years ago when he had bought it, the flames unable to penetrate the layers of cloth, plastic, and metal that had been protecting it.

After admiring the ring for a moment, Van moved the laptop bag onto the bedside table, and slid out of his chair and onto one knee. Holding the ring box out in front of him, he said, "I know that I've broken your heart. I hope that you can accept my apology, because you are the only person I have ever truly loved. I promise that I will never hurt you again. I don't think I could bare to spend another day without you, nor will I ever be happy without you in my life. Levi Jun Xu, will you marry me?"

[Levi Xu]

"I kept it." Levi murmured, finally letting the tears fall. He'd never put it on though; it didn't feel right to do so when he had broken the heart of the man who had wanted him to wear it.

When Evan slid out of the chair, the younger man tried to crane his neck to look at him, but couldn't really see without turning his head enough to cause pain. That didn't matter though, because he could hear him. This wasn't what he expected, he just had to know that the ring he'd taken such good care of for years hadn't been lost.

His voice cracked when he finally spoke, nervous and halting. "But...Van, what if I hurt you again?" He was capable of it. He'd certainly done it before. And the thought of doing that again was what frighted Levi the most. He could deal with Nomi and the Bracketts and terrorists and hospitals, but he just didn't want to disappoint Evan again.

[Evan Brackett]

Van noticed belatedly that Levi hadn't turned his head to look at him, and got up from the ground so that they could speak to one another properly. "You're suppose to say 'yes'," he chided in a joking manner, setting the ring down on top of the laptop bag. Giving the room a quick search with his eyes, he found a Kleenex box and got a tissue to wipe away the tears that had fallen down Levi's face.

After tossing the tissue out, Evan took the other man's hand again. "Levi, I trust you, and I have faith in you. I know you don't want to hurt me again. I believe that you won't." He sat down on the edge of the bed, then lifted the hand to his mouth to lightly kiss the knuckle of Levi's ring finger.

It wasn't hard for him to understand the interpreter's fear. This was scary for Van as well, but he did really trust Levi now. More so than he had ever trusted him before. He didn't understand where the trust came from, however, because it seemed like the events of the past would make him wary of the other man's loyalty. Perhaps the fact that Levi had kept the ring was all the assurance he needed.

[Levi Xu]

He had always kept the ring safe, but he'd only started carrying it around all the time when he'd thought the and Evan were dating again. Though the box was small, it was heavy with the thought of all he'd destroyed, and it wasn't until he'd thought the older man had forgiven him that he was comfortable carrying it.

When Evan kissed his hand, Levi bit his lip to keep more tears from falling. And though it hurt to keep his arm up, he gently stroked his fingers up the architect's cheek, feeling the stubble from the long journey to the hospital. He still wasn't sure he wouldn't ruin everything again.

But he'd almost died, and Evan came for him, and trying again was worth risking everything.

"Then yes, Evan." His voice cracked as he finally said what he should have said eight years ago. What he would have said if he hadn't been so stupid and had let the older man talk first. "I'll marry you."

Yes, he was crying again as he let his hand drop, but he was smiling too as well, as wide as he could manage with the pain. "Will you stay here with me?"

[Evan Brackett]

The grin that appeared when Van heard Levi say yes could have split his face in two. He reached over the box, and pulled the ring out of the holder so he could slide it onto the other man's left ring finger. It was a bit of a clumsy process, since he was trying to do it without causing Levi anymore strain, but he managed it all the same.

"Of course I will," he replied. "I'll stay as long as I can." He was going to have a lot to deal with later, with finding a place to stay, calling work to let them know that he unexpectedly needed to take a few weeks off (which, in retrospect, could potentially lose him his job, but he didn't really care), and facing the wrath of his family when he told them where he was and what had happened. None of that concerned Evan as he brushed Levi's tears away with his thumb, and leaned over to give him a tender kiss.

Because that was when Nomi came back in.

[Levi Xu]

Levi's head was spinning, but it wasn't because of the drugs or the pain or the sudden relief of years worth of guilt. Well, maybe it was a combination of those and the simple joy of having Evan there, loving him back. The ring felt strange on his finger, but he was suddenly thankful that his left hand was the one without any bandages.

And when Evan leaned over for their first kiss since their fight, Levi kissed him back.

"What are you doing?" Surprisingly, the first voice was not Nomi's, but the nurse's, as she pushed past the smaller woman. "He is a burn victim. Infections are the biggest danger right now." As soon as Evan sat up, she was hovering over Levi, daubing the tears away from his eyes and pretending she didn't care to know what had happened in the room in the last five minutes. "What's this?" She picked up the mangled laptop bag and put it off to the side, then shook her head. Mr. Brackett seemed nice enough, but she was seriously concerned over Levi's pulse.

Nomi stayed at the door, silently raging at her younger brother's recurring depression trigger fiance. He said he'd come to apologize, and they end up kissing. Of course.

"Mr. Brackett." The nurse said, looking up at the architect, "I think it's time for you to go now. Visiting hours are over, only family is allowed to stay."

"Excuse me?" Levi's voice was soft, and still a little wavery because he was crying and grinning. "You can't send him away." He held up his left hand, showing off the silver band with the single, small diamond. "He is family."