All I Want is to See You Smile [Ben]

[Benjamin Rhodes]

"Yeah, whatever." Ben chuckled, still embarrassed but quickly getting over it. He wasn't twelve. He could handle being the butt of a joke.

He beamed at Cobalt when he relented and went to the boxes. Ben was almost done with his own box just in time for Cobalt's retort. "Yes, you have so many vibrators in your storage space that I would likely stumble upon." He raised an eyebrow at Cobalt from the distance.

A bubble of laughter burst from Ben's throat at Cobalt's comment about not having fun. "Shut up." Ben drawled out the last the syllable, meaning for it to be taken as a joke. "Yeah, I don't think I've got any more spare vibrators in that box. My grandmother's knitting kit would probably be in there though." Ben laughed as he realised he actually owned the thing. "Since my dad didn't have any girls and I was a middle child like my grandma, she thought it was cute to give it to me. Who knew Grammy had foresight?" He joked.

The request was a simple one but Ben had to think hard on it. "Well...I don't know what to tell you. Um...I had five dogs growing up. Sadie, a golden retriever, was when I was two. She ran away. And then there was Lancelot, a bullmastiff I had for three years in the third grade. Chum-Chum was when I was in the fifth. Although we only had her for like a week because we were only just taking care of him while her owner was away so technically she wasn't mine.

"And then we had Cowboy, this really tall Alsatian that had brown patches in his fur and over one eye. We had him the longest. And when I went to college, my dad gave me a border collie I called Sylvie for some unknown reason." Ben laughed as he listed off his childhood pets. He guessed that was the safest topic he could think of.

"I was a really good student in high school. Never below a B for any class. That's something you can know." He grinned.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt’s wolfish grin softened and he took a few steps towards Ben, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek, hoping to soften the teasing. He did have the tendency to tease hard, and while he knew Ben could take it, Cobalt also didn’t see the harm in reassuring him that he meant no harm. “You’re so sensitive,” He teased, pressing his forehead against Ben’s shoulder briefly, a small attempt at nuzzling before moving back to his box.

The sheer absurdity of Ben’s jab made Cobalt laugh again, shaking his head. “Oh definitely. All kinds of things. Though nothing as, um, colorful.” He smirked in the other man’s general direction. “So who gave that to you? And, um. Why?”

Cobalt rummaged through the clothes and found a small kit. “Yup, here it is,” He handed it to Ben before realizing what Ben had just said. “Wait, you knit?” Another teasing smile tugged at the edge of his lips.

Cobalt moved another box to the Goodwill pile as Ben rattled off the dogs he had as a child, “That sounds nice. I’ve never had a pet. And definitely not a dog.” He made a face. Cobalt disliked dogs for more or less no reason. They just made him nervous. Leila’s corgi was all right because she kept to her side of the office and she was so strange looking she barely counted as a dog. She more looked like a pig with huge ears.

“Did you now?” Cobalt grinned, pulling an appropriately impressed face, “Well, that’s one thing our younger selves would have had in common.” In reality, Cobalt never made below an A for any class, but Cobalt also had no friends. “What class did you like best?”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

The appeasing made Ben grin, pulling the other man close and then letting him loose the minute after when the older man teased him. "Yes I am. You better recognise." He teased back. So yes, maybe he was a little sensitive. But at least it got Cobalt to attempt to nuzzle him. He would have to say bring in the sensitivity.

Ben laughed at Cobalt's question. "Andrew. He's a sick jerk." He chuckled, letting his laugh die down before explaining. "He gave it to me the year after I came out to my family." All he remembered of that night was him getting drunk and thirteen year old Andrew, at the behest of his older brothers, had given Ben the book as a joke. Ben was already comfortable with the fact that he liked dudes by that time so the gifts were taken at face value.

"Oh hey well no!" Ben denied Cobalt's statement with a laugh. "There's a reason why it's under the pile of heinous reindeer and bright blue sweaters, Coby." He laughed once more, wadding up a piece of paper and lobbed it half towards his boyfriend.

The grimace went unnoticed but the statement held disdain Ben could hear, to which he shrugged. At least Cobalt loved kittens. Ben loved all animals, especially cute little ones just because they could fit in your palm. And did the cutest things. "So you're compensating now by having Jules. Makes sense. She's quite a handful." Ben chuckled.

Ben nodded with a smug grin, even though he was pretty sure the fact that Cobalt had his own law firm was a result of getting an average of As or even A pluses. Ben got by. "History. It was dull but I did my best work on the essays and I was pretty good at memorising things so it came naturally to me. I bet you liked Math. Or maybe Creative Writing?" Ben closed up the box he had been working on to grab another. This was filled with mostly his baby things. He found a rattle, a hazardously patched up blanket and a lot of his old pictures.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt laughed quietly, “Whatever.” He leaned against Ben briefly. This was nice, and relatively stress free. Maybe he was getting the hang of this relationship thing. Just a little bit.

Cobalt’s eyes widened as Ben explained what happened. “Andrew gave you that the year you came out? That’s awful!” He was torn between laughing at Andrew’s sense of humor and being horrified at how tasteless that was.

“Hah. Well, just checking. Otherwise, I would have fodder to torment you for the rest of your days. And after a while, that just becomes poor sport.” He looked up to flash Ben a grin, but had to duck at a wad of paper spinning towards his head, “Hey, hey! What was that for?”

Cobalt…didn’t actually like kittens. Cobalt didn’t really like animals in general. But he’d been stuck with Jules, and he rather liked her, more out of a sense of responsibility than anything else. “She is a handful. But at least now she’s not trying to scratch up my couch.”

Cobalt made a face, “Eugh, no. Are you kidding? I’m terrible at Math, and Creative Writing always felt silly to me. No, I liked History too. I could write academic essays really well and, yeah, memorizing dates and times was really easy.” He peeked over at Ben’s box, “Oh hey, what’s this?” He leaned over Ben’s shoulder, trying to see into the box.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben was relatively pleased with himself when all Cobalt could reply with was a 'Whatever'. He silently laughed before it grew when Cobalt asked about the gift. "Yeah well, Andrew's an asshole sometimes. Even as a kid."

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow at his teasing. "So you actually will realise when that would happen?" He teased back and smiled back at the grin. His question brought an eye roll from Ben. "I don't know. I just like to throw things at random people who didn't just insult me. I'm crazy like that."

Not realising that Cobalt only took a liking to just Jules, Ben just nodded in agreement to his statement about the couch. "You do have a rather nice couch," he grinned at Cobalt, instantly reminded of the last time they were on it. "Would be too bad if it had too many scratch marks."

"Really? Huh. Well at least we have that in common." Ben chuckled, still going through his baby things. He turned around in time to see Cobalt peering over his shoulder. "My baby stuff. My mom kept everything and made me promise I wouldn't throw it away." He pulled out what seemed to be his first ever bib. "I think I have about five boxes filled with my baby crap." He rummaged through a small drawer behind him to get a marker and labeled the box: "Baby Crap"

"If you see more of these," he waved the bib at Cobalt. "Just put this on the side." He tapped his own craftsmanship and pushed the box to the side before getting another one. He stretched his arms up into the air and cracked his back a bit. "Jeez, didn't think I'd be this tired this fast." He grumbled mostly to himself. "You want something to drink? I've got lemonade in here." He reached one hand out to tap the mini fridge he'd stored down here ages ago.

[Cobalt Weaver]

“Yeah, a little.” Cobalt raised an eyebrow, not really apologetic that he was basically calling Ben’s little cousin an asshole. Although it was hilarious, it was also incredibly tasteless.

Cobalt laughed, “Yeah, I’ll realize it when it stops being fun to make fun of you.” He nudged Ben’s shoulder affectionately, before giving him a cranky face, “Well, I don’t know why. And people call me rude.” He shook his head disapprovingly before grinning again.

“Actually, my couch is a piece of shit,” Cobalt replied with a grin, “I just don’t want cat scratches all over it. She learned really quickly that she can’t go anywhere near the armchair or I will throw water on her.” He hadn’t bought a squirt bottle yet, so he had literally thrown a cup of water on her. Jules had taken the lesson to heart.

Cobalt rested his chin on Ben’s shoulder as the other man rifled through his baby stuff, “I want to see.” He scooted around until he was facing the right direction and didn’t require Cobalt to crane his neck to see. He reached around Ben from where he was sitting and reached into the box, finding a little framed picture of Ben when he had to have been no older than two years old. Cobalt grinned, his chin still resting on Ben’s shoulder, “You were a cute baby.” But the universe would be hard pressed to find a baby that Cobalt didn’t find adorable.

“Okay,” Cobalt nodded at Ben’s directions, not moving from where he was sitting. This was…this was kind of a big deal. He was actually cuddling. As much as Cobalt could without feeling really strange. And he wasn’t freaking out, he wasn’t retreating. This was nice, and he was allowing it to be nice. Slightly triumphant, and euphoric from the feeling, Cobalt leaned closer, nuzzling Ben’s shoulder. “Oh, I’m sorry, did you mean now?” He grinned, “I’m taking a break from ridiculing you.”

He moved to let Ben stretch, and shook his head at the offer of drinks, “Nope. Still good.”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben simply laughed at Cobalt's statement. At least Andrew had grown up. His sense of humor was still questionable but he wasn't a jerk about it anymore. Point, Andrew.

"Oh har dee har." The younger man rolled his eyes but let Cobalt nudge his shoulder without complaint. This touching business was okay in his books. At least Cobalt didn't flinch anymore, Ben thought to himself in silent glee. The psychologist chuckled at Cobalt's comment. The laughter grew as Cobalt spoke ill of his couch, obviously not getting Ben's subtle ribald. It grew even more when he realised that the water throwing was actually serious. "Cobalt!" Ben reprimanded the lawyer, despite being in a fit of giggles.

Almost too naturally, Ben leaned against Cobalt as he did the same, enjoying the warmth of the smaller man way too much. As he rifled through his baby pictures; he had about a million of them it seemed, he paused in between just to laugh and press his cheek against Cobalt's. The other man's compliment was met with an inaudible chuckle. "I got by." He teased.

He swung one arm to wrap it around Cobalt's neck and pulled him even close. "Darn you, Weaver." He made a face and poked Cobalt's chest and ribs repeatedly before letting him loose.

[Cobalt Weaver]

“What?” Cobalt held his hands up as Ben reprimanded him, grinning, “It didn’t hurt her. That’s how you’re supposed to train cats.” He laughed with Ben, leaning against the other man easily. He was comfortable. This was so nice. He almost couldn’t remember why he had been so nervous. Why this was kind of a dangerous thing he was doing.

Cobalt scoffed lightly at Ben’s dismissive comments about his baby pictures, but watched as Ben leafed through them quietly, stopping only if something particularly adorable happened to be on the picture. “How many brothers do you have?” Cobalt asked after about the twentieth picture of Ben with a slew of older boys, all with similar grins. He knew that Ben had a close knit family, but he didn’t know much about it. He was charmed, though, by the idea that Ben grew up in a large and close family. The thought made him smile.

“Wha—hey!” Cobalt started as Ben suddenly pulled him into a headlock and started poking him. “Aaahaha Ben, Ben, you—” Cobalt, however, had been in this position before (albeit in a less friendly situation), so once Ben let him loose, Cobalt grabbed hold of Ben’s arm and pulled it behind his back. He tried to remember to be gentle, though Cobalt had never roughhoused before in his entire life; he didn’t quite know what to do. So, he decided to follow Ben’s example and, holding Ben’s hand secure behind him, poked Ben solidly in the side. “I think,” Cobalt said, grinning, “You owe me an apology for putting me in a headlock, Rhodes.”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

"I bet you had fun spraying Jules." Ben rolled his eyes at Cobalt, wondering briefly if this could go on for a little while longer. The thought didn't scare him, which in itself was a little scary. But Ben wasn't thinking about that. All he could think of was if this went on longer, he wouldn't have minded one tiny bit.

Cobalt's query to Ben's number of siblings invoked a bark of amused laughter from the child psychologist. "Five if you include Andrew, which I do anyway. Artie's the eldest. He's the one who looks the most like me I guess?" He rifled through some of the other pictures they'd seen until he found one with all six of the Rhodes boys in one picture. "Okay so there's Artie. And that's Casey, he's two years older than me." He pointed out the boys. "This is Haden and Liam and this tiny one is Andrew." Ben was easily proud of his family. It occurred to him awhile ago that no matter what anybody thought, his brothers were always there for him. No matter what.

"Oh this is my mom and dad. They'd love to..." Ben paused before he could say the most potentially dangerous words anyone could say. He laughed nervously and shrugged. Then everything happened way too fast and he was suddenly in an armlock, quite similar to ones he'd always find himself in when he was a kid. Artie was easily the biggest among them all when they were younger and his armlocks were always painful despite its' playful nature. He grinned and quickly, almost fluidly got out of the grip and pinned Cobalt up to the nearest wall.

"I owe you nothing, Weaver." Ben's face was inches away from Cobalt's and as his lips moved to form a smirk, the taller man pressed them against Cobalt's, tentatively at first before slowly deepening it.

[Cobalt Weaver]

“Five? Holy crap.” Cobalt’s eyes widened. He couldn’t imagine having five brothers. It sounded like a madhouse. It sounded…fun. He listened attentively as Ben pointed out each of his brothers with a slight smile on his face, “He does look like you most, yeah.” He looked up at Ben, “Do they live around here?”

Cobalt glanced at Ben quizzically as he started saying…something. And then stopped. He tilted his head questioningly, but didn’t press. Ben allowed him to keep his secrets and handle things at his own pace. It was only fair that Cobalt allow Ben the same thing. So he just gave Ben a little, slightly nervous glance before turning back to the pictures.

Cobalt didn’t know how to roughhouse, so he was trying to keep his grip loose so he wouldn’t hurt Ben, but as it happened, he didn’t have to worry about it. Before he even understood what was happening, Ben had rolled out of his grip—somehow—and had hoisted them both up and pressed him against the wall. Breath rushed out of Cobalt’s lungs and he stared at Ben, wide eyed and flushed.

“Really?” Cobalt managed before Ben kissed him. Cobalt froze for a moment before kissing him back, pushing up on his toes to reach him properly. He didn’t quite know what to do with his hands, so he settled on resting them on Ben’s shoulders. He wanted…something. He wanted to do something, but he didn’t quite know how to articulate it. He wanted…what did he want? He wanted something and the fact that he couldn’t articulate it was making him still and unresponsive, his mind moving too fast and too chaotic for to realize he ought to be responding when all he wanted was to be close.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Cobalt's surprise brought forth another bark of laughter as Ben nodded. "I can still remember when we were kids, the only time the house was ever quiet was at bedtime." Ben shook his head affectionately before tilting his head slightly. "Uh well Artie is in Burlington. Haden and Liam live in New York and Boston and Casey is in Ireland. Andrew and I are the only ones still in Pilot Ridge."

He laughed slightly at Cobalt's weirded out expression and shrugged. "Sorry, spastic moment." Ben squeezed Cobalt's arm slightly and smiled before looking through the pictures once more.

As it turned out, Cobalt shouldn't have to worry about any roughhousing whatsoever. The Rhodes brothers were ruthless when it came to play time. Sure they had mellowed out now that they were adults but every time they got together, it was like a World Wrestling Federation tournament.

"Really," Ben replied, with a smirk. The kiss started out good enough but when Ben realised he was basically the only one doing the kissing, he pulled back slightly but kept their lips together for awhile before stepping back, forcing a grin on his face. "We should finish up." He pulled Cobalt down to the floor once more, wondering what the hell the slight ache in his chest area was all about.

"You're sure you don't want a drink right?" Ben asked out of courtesy as he poured some lemonade into a chilled glass, drinking from it just for something to occupy his hands with.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt let his eyes slide shut, and his heart pounded in his ears, an almost deafening rush of sound. This was fine, this was okay, this was safe. He wanted this. He really wanted this. He just needed to remember what to do. His hands tightened on Ben’s shoulders and he was just gathering the wherewithal to press closer and maybe—

And then Ben pulled away.

Cobalt blinked dumbly as Ben said something about finishing up here and tugging him back down to the floor. Right. Cobalt shook himself inwardly before taking a deep breath. He did something wrong. What did he do wrong? Cobalt frowned slightly, turning analytical blue eyes up at Ben. He didn’t like feeling as though he had done something wrong, particularly when he didn’t think it was going that bad. And Ben had always been responsive before. The one to instigated everything. And now he was pulling away.

Cobalt paused a moment too long at Ben’s question about drinks. He shook himself again, “Hm? Oh. No. Thanks.” He turned to the boxes that still needed to be sorted, suddenly and hyperaware of the awkward tension thickening the air. He huffed out an irritated sigh. Even when he tried, it still went to crap. Awesome.

“I’ll, um. I’ll get these boxes upstairs,” He gestured to the Goodwill pile, “I’ll put them by the door so you can take them to Goodwill in the morning?”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben was well aware that his actions had now made things uncomfortable but he still felt the need to salvage the earlier camaraderie between them. "Oh no, please. I can do that." He waved a dismissive hand at Cobalt's suggestion.

He sighed as he rummaged through a new box. He was suddenly reminded that the feelings cropping up were kind of the reason why he has never been in a serious relationship. And it worried him that these feelings were cropping up this early. What was it about Cobalt that's gotten Ben all riled up like this? It just didn't make sense.

He wanted casual, he'd been trying for casual because casual didn't involve these...emotions but here he was overthinking things and already trying to detach himself from the older man when all he wanted was more. And that was the scary part. Casual. This was not it.

The rest of the cleaning up went by fairly uneventful, the most embarrassing parts of Ben's life seemingly boxed up in the earlier boxes. When it was time for Cobalt to go, Ben sent him up, thanking him with a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks again. I...had fun. Hope you did too." The younger man smiled, squeezing Cobalt's hand before letting him go. "I'll call you."

Ignoring the heavy sagging feeling in his chest area, Ben waved the other man off and closed the door, sighing.