From Partier to Hermit (Craven)

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Being alone was easier said than done. The very idea of it was appealing to Adrian and yet, no one would just let her be. Sure, she enjoyed people usually, but after what had happened to her before Christmas, she wasn't really a fan of many. She didn't want to talk or put a fake smile on her face. She wanted to sulk and be as depressed as she felt. She wanted to stare at the wall while listening to Candles by Hey Monday.

Today was the day that she did just that.

Her dorm room was empty. Levi out with Evan most likely, Aki out with the manipulative hypno voice dude she assumed. It didn't matter where they were, she was just thankful they weren't in the dorm room on this particular day. Why? Because this was the day it had hit her the hardest.

The whole depression thing wasn't really something she'd ever had to deal with. Even when she'd found out her mother was dying at a young age she hadn't been depressed. She tried hard to make the best out of every situation. So why was it that being separated from her best friend because of words she'd spoken hurt so damn bad? Enough to put her into a dark depressing hermit state. That was what she'd become since that day in the infirmary when he ran out of her life.

Adri could handle one or two days of not talking to him, but it had been weeks since she'd even seen him. Weeks away from Craven felt like years out of her life. It hurt so bad to just think about him because she pictured his face before he left. Hurt and confused, but determined not to make the mistake of staying around her. That face had haunted her since then and she'd had very little time to sleep because of it.

She stared at the wall, laying on her side as Candles played on her ipod that was plugged into a docking station. She didn't have tears in her eyes, for they had dried up from her crying so much before. Her expression was blank and distant. No one would expect her here so she didn't really expect any visitors.

Boy was she in for a surprise.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven too was suffering a bit for not having his best friend in his life. That suffering wouldn't be enriched the moment he entered school on the second of January when they were all supposed to return to school. He and Gia and Gia's mother had spent New Years with Gabriel, Dilan and little Rose and it was more fabulous then he'd ever imagined it could be. Dilan made him make a new years resolution, sitting the boy down for at least two hours to speak about the importance of goals and family and friends until Craven had cracked and screamed that he'd find a resolution before school started.

The resolution was to rebuild burned bridges. Tanner was about to graduate, not that he'd seen his brother since Christmas, and Craven would be sharing an apartment with Tanner come August so Craven had to try and make friends with his friends NOW while he still had the chance. It had just become awkward recently with all these damn feelings floating around. Really really awkward. Craven had been given something precious by Dilan for christmas though. It had been mainly to remind him of his mother. A pure white dove.

It even now, sat perched in it's cage staring nervously at the other black birds in the room all hovering arond the banner stretched across Craven's bedroom floor. He eyed each and every bird as if this meant life or death for them.
"You all know the plan. You all know what you are supposed to do."
Like they were all connected to one mind recieving one order, they hopped forward and picked up their allocated corners of the banner in their beaks.

Craven smiled at then and nodded.
"Perfect. Out you go."
He showed them then moved over to feather, the white dove he'd recieved as a present.
"Don't worry. I won't let them hurt you."
The dove peeked at him uncomprehendingly, puffing up and shaking out her feathers and Craven gave a sigh.

If only he could understand all types of birds. He collected his keys, the friendship lockets he'd bought and the single white rose before slipping out the door and down the hall toward Adrianna's dorm room. He knocked once out of habbit then opened the door. He'd never really needed to do any of this anyway. Like she never really needed to knock on his dorm door. What he saw on the bed surprised him and he gave her a frown before moving over to throw a window open. Once he'd done that, he killed the really sad sad song playing on the ipod.

"Adri, Come on. Jesus. You're gonna start smelling if you lay there any longer. Get up. Up, Up. "
He held out his hand to her hoping and praying she wouldn't start off screaming at him for some reason. He really didn't want her to scream at him and start of fighting.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Usually hearing a knock would make her jump because honestly no one ever knocked on her door, she preferred people to step right in unless she had a sign that said 'naked' or something on the outside. This time, she didn't even turn her head. She was a little surprised to feel the power, one that she'd never forget the feeling of. One she'd tried forgetting about since the argument that she'd started. As surprised as she was, she didn't show it. She continued staring at the wall.

Craven threw open the window and shut off her ipod. She didn't budge. How could he just show up after leaving her? Of course she felt responsible, but he hadn't even called or texted her over the break. But she knew why. There was and would always be one thing on his mind that kept him occupied. His girlfriend.

She buried her face in her pillow and gripped it tight before he spoke. The familiarity of it almost soothed her, but she wasn't sure if she could let him do this. She couldn't let him be around her, she was the problem. Adrianna sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs, "What are you doing here Crave?" She asked in a hollow tone.

Ever since things had gone down hill, her voice had lost it's energy along with her body. The usual peppy girl was gone and replaced with a girl who was afraid of leaving her room because she couldn't stand the thought of getting hurt again. Especially by him. Even so, she couldn't bring herself to tell him to leave. Every cell in her body ached for his comforting. The way he always knew what to say. The way his fingers brushed back her hair and the look in his eyes when he said everything would be okay. That was the side of him she missed the most. Feelings aside, she needed her friend back, even if she couldn't have him the way she wanted. And she knew she'd do anything to make him see that.

But she needed to know first. She needed to understand why he'd come back after running.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven moved to sit on the edge of her bed when it became aparent that she was not in the frame of mind to be getting up at all and he sighed softly when she asked him what he was doing there. This wasn't a good way to start the new year. He was determined to make sure he made every wrong a right in this year. He'd made amends with Romeo and their disasterous fling because whether he liked it or not, Romeo was his first and would be his only man crush. He'd also made sure to come clean to his old man...

This in itself was an amazing achievement, although, now Cooper didn't really want him in the house till he 'straightened out his head'. Not bad... All in all Craven was pleased that he'd achieved what he'd achieved lately. Only one last thing to sort out. Adrianna. Craven frowned at her.
"Come on. I did what I did so that we didn't loose ourselves. So we didn't end up like me and Romeo."

Why didn't she get that? He was protecting their relationship.
"I had so much going on over the holidays. Get up Adri. Look what we did all by ourselves."
Craven held his hand in the direction of the window and his eyes blackened as he made his connection with the crows outside flinching at the dull stabs of pain that flashed across his mind.

They raised up high enough to be in perfect of the window with the banner spanning across the cold cloudy sky. It was red with the letters 'Adrianna & Craven Best Friends Friends for Live' on them. Craven shut his eyes and reopened them so his eyes were back to normal. He let them flick from the Banner floating in the sky to Adrianna.
"Get up..."
Craven whispered then slowly moved to the side of her bed and went down on one knee.

He then pulled forth the tiny little box from his pocket and flicked it open for her to see the tiny golden chain with a heart saying half of 'best friends' on it. He pulled his own chain from under his shirt and held it up.
"Adrianna Carstyn. Will you do me the honor of being my best friend for life? "
'Oh God.' he prayed. 'Please let this work.' He needed Adrianna. He knew that. There was something in him that craved her.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna's eyes followed him as he sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted to curl up against his side and hug him, begging him never to leave her again, but she stayed where she was, simply watching him. She heard the sigh and her eyes dropped to the bed spread. She hadn't made a mistake by asking him, she just needed to be careful.

His words made her frown slightly. He was trying to save their relationship by running from her? How did that make any sense? It was at that point that she needed him to stay with her, to talk her through the insanity in her head. Instead, he'd bolted and she'd been left to face it alone. Due to that abandonment, her personality had drained and she had become hollow. Guilt, pain, fear. All of the things she had already in her mind had been boosted and surfaced making them that much more difficult to handle.

When he motioned towards the window her eyes traveled to where he pointed. She noticed him flinching and she knew he was using his power. Once it was finally finished she read the letters and her heart gave a painful squeeze. She met his eyes and tears filled hers. A tear slid down her cheek and she watched him get down on one knee like some sappy loverboy in a mushy romance movie that they'd seen together. Adrian raised an eyebrow and her legs swung over the side of the bed as she watched him.

Adri chewed on her lower lip and for the first time in weeks a small smile played around the corners of her mouth. She stood up and pulled him to his feet wrapping her arms around his neck. She hugged him tight and buried her face in the side of his neck, memorizing the heat from his body, the way his arms fit around her and that familiar comforting she had longed for. Her fingers gripped his shirt lightly and she was crying more, but it wasn't because of the pain. She was relieved.

When she pulled back she smiled wider and kissed his cheek as she had before all of the feelings had crept in. "You really want me to be in your life forever? Are you crazy or something?" She laughed quietly and hugged him again whispering in his ear, "I missed you Crave. I never wanna lose you ever again."

She sucked back the tears and spoke quieter, "You'll always be my best friend. No matter what happens."

[Craven Grimley]

Tears? Tears were good right? Her crying was good? Happy tears maybe? He'd won? Did this mean he'd won? He'd convinced her that he was her friend and had never meant to hurt her? He fought the need to touch her and brush her tears away. Tell her not to cry and comfort her when she needed the comfort but he held it back and he straightened himself instead, keeping calm and working hard to not touch her until she agreed that they were friends again. If he just grabbed her and comforted her, he had a funny feeling that he'd be pushing her away again.

It had to come from her at this point. He held back a little sound of delight when she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and her feet touched the ground. One of his more brilliant smiles settled across his face as he watched her. Was she out of her depressive state now? Then she smiled at him and he knew things were better. The biting of the bottom lip thing, had him worried there for a second. He wondered if she'd reconsider or something because that was her considering habit when she was thinking of something.

Craven was pulled to his feet and her arms wrapped around his neck so his arms, awkward as it was with flower and necklace and all did the same to her, picking her up of the ground for a little moment as he tightened his hug on her.
"Ooo, I missed you soo much."
He muttered into her ear snuggling into her neck. She was crying more now but he was sure it wasn't because she was hurting.

At least he hoped it wasn't because she was hurting. He let her pull back, reluctantly loosening his grip and her lips fell against his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut at the feel of those lips and he sighed softly. He'd missed the warmth of her against him. Craven bit into his bottom lip to when she asked him if he was craze and pulled a hand from around her showing just a little with his fingers before she threw her arms around him again and he hugged her tight.

"Good. Cause this took me a long time to organize with the crows. I got you a white rose too if you wanted it. "
Craven pulled back and held the necklace and rose out to her.
"Do you want me to put it on for you? Oh and maybe we can watch a movie? if you're up for it?"
He asked uncertainly tilting his head at her.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adri smiled wider when he lifted her up and hugged her closer. The pain she'd felt before dissolved for the most part, but stayed present in a small corner of her mind, making sure she was ready for it if something happened again. She couldn't be taken by surprise again, or she'd never be able to handle it. Not a second time. It was bad enough this party girl had gone hermit, she never wanted to end up that way again. It was absolutely no fun.

She laughed lightly when he motioned that he was a little crazy. It was true, he was crazy for wanting her to be involved for that long, but it was a good kind of crazy. She rested her forehead against his shoulder and her fingers rubbed the back of his neck gently. No matter how intimate they got, it would only be in a friendly way. Never again would her feelings get in the way of their friendship, she couldn't stand losing him ever. Even for a little while.

As he pulled back she looked up at him and her eyes brightened at the mention of a white rose. She chewed on her lower lip shyly and took the rose cradling it against her heart. She turned around and pulled her hair back when he offered to put the necklace on her. The necklace that matched the one he wore. The one that would always symbolize their relationship. Forever was a long time, but Adrianna knew they could handle anything.

At the mentioning of a movie she nodded hesitantly, "I'm up for it, but I sorta need to talk to you about some stuff first. We haven't in forever so I still gotta fill you in on some stuff that happened." She took his hand and sat down on the bed, pulling him down beside her.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven smiled when he saw her craddling the rose. Girls and flowers. It always won. That's all you had to do if a girl was pissed off at you. Give her a bunch of her favourite flowers, some chocolates and a heart felt apology. Not that he needed to do that with Gia. She just needed the apology part since she knew very much what was in his mind and could tell that he thought he'd won so definitely not a good idea to give the flowers. Craven let her twist round and gently he brought the locket around her neck.

She wanted to speak to him about stuff? Had she been that busy without him? Well... good for her he guessed. She got out, saw friends (probably Robbie) and...had a good time... without him. Craven's happy twinkle sorta faded as he sat on the bed beside her nodding slowly. The murder of crows outside swept though the window and landed on various different surfaces. Once chose to land on his knee and he slowly reached out to stroke it gently flicking his eyes from it to her.

"What is it that you wanna tell me? What happened?"
He asked, trying to keep his tone light and interested but he knew he'd shut off the moment she'd mention any other boy except Robbie.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrian was a flower fanatic. She loved most flowers just because they were all different. It was just some weird thing she picked up on. She wasn't one for chocolates though, she saw that as trying to make her fat which was something she never intended to be. The small heart shaped locket touched her bare throat and her heart fluttered. She wondered if the locket meant as much to him as it did to her. To her, it was what would always remind her of him, even if he was gone.

When she brought up the stuff she needed to talk about, there was really only one thing she needed him for. Support. Her ex was back in town with a fiancee and she didn't know if she should bother trying to gain his friendship again or if she should continue to ignore him. It felt wrong to ignore him, after all he hadn't really done anything wrong. The only reason she'd have to avoid him would be the thoughts that came with the face. Thoughts of how she'd nearly cheated on him. Those thoughts would lead to another face, a face she still couldn't picture without feeling a sharp stab through the heart.

Adri took a deep breath and looked down at the floor, her left hand rubbing the heart-shaped charm at her throat. Would he care if she told him? What would he be able to do? Nothing. Surely he wouldn't want to hear about another guy. But there was still that small part of her that felt it was necessary. Despite what she felt, she always listened to him talk about Gia. How was this any different? She gained strength from that thought and spoke quietly. "Luke's back. He's getting married and he still wants me in his life."

She looked up to see if he would remember the name and if he'd really show any sign of caring.

[Craven Grimley]

Adrianna was nervous. It was plain to see and Craven felt the nerves curl around in his stomach like he was about to burst from them. He gulped and stared at her hand touching the necklace on her slender neck. Her soft skin was a perfect bed for the silver and he half smiled. It would take on her heat, warm from her skin. When he'd put his on that morning before he'd come, it had been so cold against his own skin. It had made a shiver run through his body and curl his toes. He wondered if the same had happened to Adrianna.

Would she make a habbit of touching it in times of insecurity? It seemed like she was drawing strength from it. It seemed like she was enjoying the feeling of heaviness against her chest. Him. It was a little part of him that she could always cling to and he revelled in the mere thought of it all. It was a romantic thought and he liked the thought. Like one of his beautiful black crows, Craven's eyes fixed on the silver changing constantly as the light catched it. It was fascinating.

... untill she said that name. Craven's bright blue eyes filled with something akin to fire when they flicked up to meet Adrianna's deep brown eyes. He could see worry in them. Worry at his thoughts and if she was any friend at all she'd notice the sneer forming on his face. His smile was gone. Anger had taken it the moment she mentioned Luke and what Luke wanted and what Luke had done.

There was a long pause, a moment of silent which seemed to wait to ignite and explode. Finally Craven gave a mocking laughter and it sounded obnoxious if ever a laugh from Craven could sound obnoxious. He made a point of relaxing his tense shoulders and his eyes fixed on the ground while he shook his head, that sneer still evident on his face.
"And what do you expect me to say about that?"
Craven was on his feet, hands stuffed in his pockets.

He moved like his father more and more each day. Funny how that work. Funny how you became the very thing you hated at some point. Craven moved over to the window and fixed his eyes on the world outside, the crows that had been sat on his knees now having taken flight to dance in the moody sky overhead.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Craven's reaction made her cringe. He was never cruel to her, he wasn't capable of cruelty, she was sure of that. He was angry though and she couldn't blame him for that. She'd been angry too, Luke magically appearing back in her life bringing with him the memories that she'd tried forcing back. She understood why he'd be angry, but why mock her for it? What had she done? It wasn't as if she'd said she was still crushing on Luke. And even if she had, which would be dumb, it was none of his business to mock her.

His reaction, for some completely unknown reason, reminded her of the first time she'd told Talen about Luke. Tal had been frustrated at the fact that Luke was leaving her, and he had made it painfully clear that he didn't approve. Craven didn't much like either of the men she'd had a relationship with though. Craven was nothing like Tal. She knew that, which was why she'd been angry with herself for even comparing the two.

She saw his posture forcibly relax and she frowned curling up in a ball on her bed, with her eyes cast down. Was he upset with her for bringing it up? She didn't want it to be like that, but she didn't understand what she'd done wrong. He was always telling her she could tell him anything. Here she was telling him and he was angry.

Adrianna chewed on her lower lip and forced back the tears that brimmed in her eyes. "I-I don't know..." She hadn't meant to stutter or display any emotion in those three words, but she couldn't help it. "I just wanted to know what you thought...."

A tear fell down her cheek, but she tried feebly to brush it away before he noticed. She was always crying in front of him.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven wasn't mocking her though it did seem that way. He was annoyed that she'd even ask him a question like that. What was he supposed to tell her? What she wanted to hear? Or what he thought she should hear? Either hurt her now or have her be hurt later. Craven sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his jaw tightly together. Didn't she get how that would make him feel? Boy did he ever sound selfish or self absorbed right then. Then again, his many fans would not see it like that.

Charming Craven had no bad qualities and was sweet. That was always how his friends saw him. Craven licked his lips at her tears then turned and sat himself on the window sill watching her... cry again. Craven rolled his eyes. He was so much more used to Gia now then he was to Adrianna. Gia who didn't let people see her weakness. Gia, the calm boat in a sea of turmoil. Gia his strength as he was her protection.

"Here's what you want to here: Adrianna. You should be his friends. As long as he's okay with it, why not? You still love being around each other right? Fuck what everyone else says. You need him in your life right now."
Craven eased himself back and crossed his arms over his chest tilting his head at her, his face hardening somewhat.

"Here's what you need to hear: Don't be a bitch and interfere where you're not supposed to. The history should be enough for you to realize that you need to back off. He wants you back in his life? Well boo boo. Move on. Don't ruin his fiance's life. You're supposed to behave better then that and avoid any sort of ... I don't know... problems for her. Stay away. You know what you're like... It will end in her life being ruined..."
It was cold but it was true and Craven had never really been good at keeping his mouth shut when he needed to or being careful about what he said.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrian never wanted someone to tell her what she wanted to hear. Ever. From Craven she expected honesty, no matter how brutal. It was just one of those things that she knew she could count on him for. One of the many reasons she went to him when she needed to talk. He was honest and for that she was thankful.

But there was a point of honesty that could be crossing a line. For a girl who was upset before even having the conversation, harsh words would do her no good. Adri despised crying in front of people. Truly, she did. Craven was the one person she felt like she could cry around and now she wasn't so sure about it. He'd never judged her for it, but she knew he had to be sick of it. Her life wasn't his problem and she needed to stop burdening him with her tears. She didn't have to tell him everything, clearly he didn't want to hear all of it. When it came to guys, she wouldn't go to Craven, she'd just have to find someone else. With that decision made, she knew she wouldn't be bringing Lani up in this conversation.

As he spoke she looked straight up at him, no tears left. She had to be strong. She couldn't keep showing every man in her life that she was capable of weakness, which was the only thing she'd ever done. He had guessed what she wanted to hear and boy was he wrong. She didn't need Luke in her life at all. It was a constant reminder of her failures with men. Things had changed. Luke and her both grew up and apart. They didn't have the same connection any longer, so why bother trying to regain it?

When he started what she 'needed' to hear, her jaw set and she internally cringed. Still, she looked him in the eye, no sign of hurt and listened. So now she was a bitch? Interesting choice of words for a guy who'd completely crushed her a few weeks ago. And she was ruining Luke's fiancee's life? How? She'd never even met the girl! His final words made her want to scream at him. What was she like? A home-wrecker? Lovely, her best friend thinks she's a home-wrecker.

Adrian let herself relax a little, before she even thought of speaking. He was being cruel. Cold and a complete dick right then, but she knew he was right in some ways. But she was in no way a whore that would go as low as ruining someone's life.

"Okay. A simple stay away from him would have sufficed, but alright. I won't be a home-wrecker and I'll stay away from him," Her words held no anger, no pain. She was being strictly logical and accepting the facts. Still, she couldn't keep from mentioning the home-wrecker thing, she may not have been a bitch, but she was a smart ass for sure.

She got up and walked to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall she looked at him, "Only to be the best friend that I am, do you have anything you'd like to talk about Crave or do you want to pick the movie?" She asked with a small smile, one that would have seemed completely sarcastic, but on Adrianna, it was innocent as could be.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven sighed at the word 'home-wrecker' cringing. Wow. Had he really made it sound that bad. Was it the jealousy talking right then? He hadn't meant for that to happen. Then again, it seemed like Adrianna was completely oblivious to it anyway. She was simply thinking that he was insulting her... Not that he was envious of Luke. Like had had his chance and Luke had walked away, disappeared and then turned up with someone new on his arm wanting Adrianna back in his life. Was one girl not enough?

What Craven didn't realize was how he was also toying with Adrianna's emotions, the same way Luke was planning to. Or so Craven thought anyway. He shook his head.
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it's easy to fall in love with you and you wear your heart on your sleeve Adrianna. You'll both only be hurting yourselves and I don't agree with it. I simply don't think it's a brilliant idea. I don't mind being your Kleenex box but there's only so much tear drying a best friend and gentleman is expected to do."

Craven dropped his eyes when Adrianna invaded his vision range and nodded.
"You pick the movie and I have nothing to say."
He had everything to say. Confessions, admissions, critique and important news to share with her but there was an invisible guard at Craven's lips keeping all that in. No more spilling out his secrets. Not ever again unless it related to the person he was spilling to and/or would not ruin that person's life.

His confessions, admissions, critique and news would hurt more then his previous twisted accusation ever could if Adrianna was ever to hear them.
"Let's make a rule though..."
This time his intense blue eyes did meet hers.
"The intimacy stopped that night I tried to kiss you. No more teasing. We're just friends okay?"

It was the hardest thing he'd ever said to her or ever would say to her and she's be none the wiser. She'd never know. She'd never be allowed to know.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

"Ha, easy to fall in love with me for a second until later one finds out that I'm damaged mentally and emotionally." She looked away and bit down hard on her lip so that she didn't make anymore comments such as that. Adri didn't want to snap at him, though things were so much different with them now. She'd never fought with Craven so horribly, and now there was a wall that formed between them, keeping them from how they'd been before.

And she hated it more than she hated her feelings for him.

"You're lying Crave, I know from experience around you that you're lying. I'm not saying you have to tell me, but it hurts to know that you'd lie straight to my face about it." She laughed quietly, humorlessly, and hurt. Things really had changed with them. And it was her fault, she'd let her feelings get between their friendship and now she was paying for it. It was a harsh punishment, but well-deserved in her eyes.

His rule made her heart crumble, but the fact that he didn't seem to care made it turn to dust. He was changing. Their carefree, playful friendship was gone. Now they were two people that talked every once in a while. No longer as close as before. Could it be possible that she'd already lost her best friend?

Adrian nodded mutely until she got her voice back. It was quiet, but still she spoke, "I know. Just friends." But not best friends... The thought gave her that stinging feeling under her eyes again and she turned to the tv before he could see the water fill her eyes.

"Horror flick okay with you? I'm not really in the mood for drama, romance or anything all that funny. I don't think I'm ready for the 'ha ha' type of funny thing yet..."