The need to talk in quite places

[Trapper Petano]

It had been a few months now at Hammel, she started classes, training and she was even going to work in the research department, with everything looking up for Trapper why was she feeling so increasing lost and confused more then ever? Clearly the girl was home sick, she missed her ordered life, her friends and family and even school no matter how boring it seemed sometime.

Normally outgoing Trapper found herself slowly withdrawing from others around her, finding solace in quite areas such as the library or her room, but today she was reading a sci-fi novel when one of her closest friends at Hammel was waking by.

“Cath!” Trapper yelled getting the customary “Shhhhhh”! from those around her that made her bite her lip as she threw the book on the seat, getting up she silently ran up to her, tapping lightly on her shoulder.
“Cath?” She asked softly, trying not to startle her friend.

[Catherine Novella]

Cat herself was almost always in the library now. She had shielded herself from the outside world, careful to hide her own emotions. She really was feeling sort of homesick, especially when just a few weeks before she had called her grandmother to get her to sign the papers so she could work in the library. Though her grandmother readily agreed and reassured her that everything was ok back home, Cat still felt something was off. Honestly she hoped that she was not still sick or that everything was not as well as her grandmother said it was. It had Cat worried.

Cat had gotten close to some of the people here at Hammel, but none like her grandmother. The people here did not understand her. So she closed herself off from them. She had met someone during training and was able to become good friends with Trapper. She knew that even though Trapper was a friend she would never know what went on behind Cat’s mind and easy smile. Cat. Though had a feeling something was up with Trapper. She seemed to be withdrawing into herself and isolating herself from others.

So Cat was wandering the aisles if the library when se heard a familiar voice calling her. Smiling she turned around looking at her friend getting scolded by the ones in the library who were trying to study or read. She smiled again when Trapper called her Cath. None of her other friends called her that. She smiled. It was something unique that to their friendship. Smiling she looked at the other girl, “Yes?”

[Trapper Petano]

Her step was light as a feather, but her worries were heavy on her mind. For a brief moment she could forget about her troubles and be with her friend Cath who turned to face her and her light “yes” was always welcoming to Trapper, making her feel more at ease.

Without thinking Trapper’s blue eyes looked around before finding there way to Cath’s eyes “Can we talk please?” Trappers voice was pleading as she stiffened she looked away, then to the floor as they started to fill with tears. Trapper was trying so hard to not cry yet she was clearly loosing that battle. Carefully before Cath could reply, she took her hand and brought her to an unoccupied corner.
Trapper voice quivered as she spoke between muffed sobs “I feel like I am loosing it, loosing everything, my mind, my family . . . . I don’t know what to do!” she stopped talking as she sobbed softly into her hands, her body sliding down the wall behind her until her knee's touched her arms and head inside of her lap, she was now embarrassed that she was crying but she could not get herself to stop.

[Avinea Jale]

Cat smiled as her friend visibly relaxed. She hoped everything was ok. Worriedly she looked over at Trapper as she was clearly trying to say something. She had no idea what was on the girls mind but it couldn’t be good. She rarely came to the library. Something was wrong.

Cat watched as Trapper slowly met her eyes. What in the world was wrong. The shaky tone in Trappers voice made Cat even more worried. Quickly she nodded, trying to assure her that she was to be trusted enough that she could rely on her and tell her anything. Cat’s heart hurt as trapper stammered out a few words and looked as if she was trying not to cry. “ Of course hun, whats wrong?”

Before Cat could finish her thought the other girl pulled her into a secluded area of the library. She stayed quiet as Trapper explained. Car listened to her and wrapped the other girl in a hug. “Trapper, its ok.. You aren’t losing everything.” Biting her lip cat patted the other girls back and pulled out a couple of tissues from her bag “ Here hun, why don’t we just sit down and you can tell me whats wrong?” Cat looked at trapper as she shrunk into herself. Breathing in a sigh she looked at her and sat down right beside her. “Just let it out hun. You need to cry. it’s the only thing that will stop the pain. At least for now. No one can bother you here. Just let it out.” Cat closed her eyes and waited or her friend to calm down some. She wasn’t sure what to do in this situation but she had to at least try. “Trapper. Please tell me ok?”

[Trapper Petano]

you posted for cat but used your avi

[Catherine Novella]

ooc: sorry.... Mean to have cat.. thats what i gget for having multiple broswers open... here...

Cat smiled as her friend visibly relaxed. She hoped everything was ok. Worriedly she looked over at Trapper as she was clearly trying to say something. She had no idea what was on the girls mind but it couldn’t be good. She rarely came to the library. Something was wrong.

Cat watched as Trapper slowly met her eyes. What in the world was wrong. The shaky tone in Trappers voice made Cat even more worried. Quickly she nodded, trying to assure her that she was to be trusted enough that she could rely on her and tell her anything. Cat’s heart hurt as trapper stammered out a few words and looked as if she was trying not to cry. “ Of course hun, whats wrong?”

Before Cat could finish her thought the other girl pulled her into a secluded area of the library. She stayed quiet as Trapper explained. Car listened to her and wrapped the other girl in a hug. “Trapper, its ok.. You aren’t losing everything.” Biting her lip Cat patted the other girls back and pulled out a couple of tissues from her bag “ Here hun, why don’t we just sit down and you can tell me whats wrong?” Cat looked at trapper as she shrunk into herself. Breathing in a sigh she looked at her and sat down right beside her. “Just let it out hun. You need to cry. it’s the only thing that will stop the pain. At least for now. No one can bother you here. Just let it out.” Cat closed her eyes and waited or her friend to calm down some. She wasn’t sure what to do in this situation but she had to at least try. “Trapper. Please tell me ok?”

[Trapper Petano]

“Trapper, its ok.. You aren’t losing everything“ ”Just let it out hun. You need to cry. it’s the only thing that will stop the pain. At least for now. No one can bother you here. Just let it out.” “Trapper. Please tell me ok?” Cath’s words were heard and felt, for that moment Trapper just could not sobbing even if she wanted too.

All her emotions had been well bottled up till now, overflowing, spilling out thru her eyes and her sobbs. Yet just as Cath said she would, she would feel better after this release.
Slowly her sobbs softened and finally she was all cried out. Trapper wiped her face with her tee shirt, her once fair shin had taken on a bright red color, her blue eyes also shown some red and were very swollen. She sniffed as she looked up and around to see if anyone had seen the spectacle, her eyes finding Cath’s , she softened, glad to have her friend there next to her.

Forcing a smile, Trapper let out a soft sigh before speaking in a low but clear voice “Thank you Cath for being here for me, I am so sorry I broke down in front of you, I don’t know how you can be so strong, how do you do it?” She asked as she wiped her hair from her face.

[Catherine Novella]

Cat watched as Trapper just bawled. She didn’t know what was wrong and she didn’t know what she could do about it other then to just be there for her. Cat hoped that after she was done crying, trapper would tell her everything. Then they could make a plan of action on how to improve whatever was making her sad. She silently patted her back as she waited for her to calm down.

Cat knew that Trapper was finally calming down by the sobs slowing and her breathing slowly returning to normal. She offered the tissue as she saw her wipe her face with her shirt. “ Trapper hun don’t do that here is a tissue.” She watched as Trapper quickly glanced around worried someone else had seen her crying. “Trapper there’s no one here but you and me. No one else saw.” Besides whenever someone decided to come down that way she gave them the evil eye glare and that set the straight that they should find a different route or suffer the consequences.

Cat smiled at the other girl as slowly sighed and looked at her. She blushed a bit when the other girl thanked her. Why was she? That was what friends did wasn’t it? “Trapper. Don’t worry about it. Honestly I have told you before its ok to cry with me, I will always be here when you want me to be. I am not leaving you and you aren’t losing me.” At the strong thing Cat shook her head forcibly. “I am not strong at all Trapps, I don’t see how you think me strong.” Sighing she looked at the other girl and smiled. “So what happened to make you so upset?” Pushing her glasses up on her nose Cat looked at her. “ All right who do I need to go punch?”

[Trapper Petano]

Trapper patted Cath’s hand “Thank you” she repeated it as she moved herself into a more comfortable position accepting the tissues to clean her dripping nose and eyes, followed by another “Thank you”

Falling silent as Cath talked to her, just like she had done in the past, always reassuring her, she always had a way to make her feel safe as a bug in the rug, but Trapper had to learn to share her emotions something she just stuffed down inside until they explode as evidenced by Cath yet again.

However Trapper was doing it again, hiding her true feelings, she shrugged her thin shoulder, smiled slightly and remained silent for a few more moments before she changed the subject.

“Let’s go to lunch, I am starving!” She said suddenly as she fixed herself up, she didn’t want to leave that spot looking all flustered.

She got up and looked at Cath on the floor, extending her left hand “Come on slow poke, lunch is waiting!”

Inside her head she was still lost, still felt very confused, still missed her family, and wondered if she would ever be able to control this ‘thing’, this ability, that power inside of her that she looked at so much as a curse and that is where her problem laid, her inability to accept her own ability that at the begging she thought was so neat, yet she became so scared of what she could do that she littery was shutting it out of her life by avoidance. In avoiding people around her, avoiding situations where she could hear any animals she became paranoid that people were avoiding her, which clearly was not the case.

[Catherine Novella]

Cat watched as Trapper thanked her and patted her hand. “There is nothing to thank me for. We are friends aren’t we?” Cat looked at Trapper trying to be the sane one. In all honesty she was worried about her friend. She would get to the bottom of this.

Cat watched as Trapper was falling silent as she talked. There it was, the look of avoidance. Cat was not going to have any of that. She would get Trapper to tell her if it was the last thing she did.

Cat watched as Trapper just shrugged and stayed silent. This wasn’t like her and Cat was going to fix it. “ Trapps you’re going to tell me sooner or later and I would prefer it sooner.”

When Trapper changed the subject Cat got a stubborn look on her face and frowned. “We can go to lunch after you tell me what is going on.” Looking over at her friend she watched as she slowly fixed herself up and attempted to make it so she was not crying. Sighing Cat patted her back. “Why don’t you tell me Trapps?”

When Trapper got up and stood, offering her hand with the smile and the words she shook her head. “ Trapper you need to tell me what is going on. You need to find some way to get your emotions out. Other wise you will deteriorate inside. So this is an intervention. Until you tell me what’s going on I wont be leaving from this spot.” Cat had that stubborn look on her face when she looked back up at Trapper. “ If you tell me I’m sure we can work something out to help you.”

As Cat talked to Trapper she lightened up her face. Whatever was going on with Trapper she knew that it was bad if it meant coming to her and crying. Sighing she looked up at her with a soft easy smile. “ Please tell me Trapps…” Cat knew this was a long shot and she knew that she might not even be able to help… but she had to try. One thing about Cat was that she never gave up. No matter how impossible the odds were.

[Trapper Petano]

Cath as a best friend could see past her walls that she put up and now all that she wanted to do was keep those walls up.

Trapper shook her head “Not now, let’s go to lunch first please!” her pleading voice had no effect on Cath as she told trapper “Trapper you need to tell me what is going on. You need to find some way to get your emotions out. Other wise you will deteriorate inside. So this is an intervention. Until you tell me what’s going on I wont be leaving from this spot.”
Trapper bit her lip in frustration as Cath continued “ If you tell me I’m sure we can work something out to help you.” , “ Please tell me Trapps…”

There was a tear that escaped her eyes that Trapper quickly dabbed with the tissue that her friend had given her before, she could feel another bout of crying boiling forth however she was determined not to let her see her cry again.

Looking around to make sure no one was near the pair she whispered “I’m scared! Ok? Now can we go to lunch please?” again there was the sound of clear pleading in her voice even at the whisper.

[Catherine Novella]

Cat knew something was wrong, and she was serious about not leaving that stop until Trapper told her. She would get it out of her. Heck yes Cat could be stubborn when she put her mind to it.

Cat watched as Trapper tried to plead with her about going to lunch. Sighing she started to rummage through hr bag. “ I have lunch. So sit back down and tell me what’s wrong.” With that she pulled out two sandwiches and a bag of cookies. “ I even have cookies… Shall I bribe you with them?” Like it or not Traapper would tell her what was going on.

Cat watched Trrapper bite her lip and look down at her. She was coming around and she knew it. Sighing she looked at her again and crossed her arms across her chest. “ I’m not moving Trapps. I am perfectly fine with sleeping in the library. I am sure Mr. Morrison wont care as long as I get my work done. So really, the sooner you tell me the better.”

Cat bit her lip when she saw another tear escape trapper’s eyes. She watched as the other girl took the tissue and dabbed art her eyes to hurriedly cover it up. “ Trapps, you should know by now that I don’t care of you cry. Cry some more if that’s what it really takes. Honestly just tell me what’s going on so I can help.”

Cat’s eyes softened as Trapper admitted she was scared. She was so broken that she just wanted to go but Cat knew there was a different layer underneath all of that. Smiling easily up at the other girl she offered her hand. “What are you scared of Trapps? You need to tell me so we can work over this fear. I don’t like it when my friends come crying to me. The few of them that I do have, I tend to be very protective of. So sit down and tell me the whole story. Then we can leave.”

[Trapper Petano]

“ I have lunch. So sit back down and tell me what’s wrong.” “ I even have cookies… Shall I bribe you with them?” Cath told her as she eyed leaving the room in hopes of getting off the subject and as usually Cath always seemed ready for everything, even a friend wanting to avoid a touchy subject.

“ I’m not moving Trapps. I am perfectly fine with sleeping in the library. I am sure Mr. Morrison wont care as long as I get my work done. So really, the sooner you tell me the better.” Cath told her.
‘Trapps’ she knew it now that Cath meant what is was saying because she would never call her Trapps unless she was about to give her truth straight up and clear cut. A cold chill went down her spine as confirmation of her feelings.

As she dab her eyes trying to hid it from Cath, she spoke to her, and Trapper knew she did an awful job of trying to hid her tears from her.
“ Trapps, you should know by now that I don’t care of you cry. Cry some more if that’s what it really takes. Honestly just tell me what’s going on so I can help.” Cath told her, her clear voice cutting thru her thoughts.

“What are you scared of Trapps? You need to tell me so we can work over this fear. I don’t like it when my friends come crying to me. The few of them that I do have, I tend to be very protective of. So sit down and tell me the whole story. Then we can leave.” ‘then we can leave?’ Trapper thought and with a loud sigh she submitted with tears flowing that she couldn’t control her . . . She couldn’t even say the word. She told Cath that once she thought it was neato, cool but when you can hear each animal and not able to shut it out, it became overwhelming very quickly, she avoided going out with others because going out there was always a chance of an animal being outside or near by, then when she no longer saw people she got scared people that were ignoring her that maybe they were even scared of her, so she turned her feelings inward and bottled everything up, her school work suffered and of course she suffered.

There she did it, she shared her true feelings and emotions and the world didn’t come crashing in on her, even thru the tears and the sobs in the end it felt like the weight of the world just came off of her shoulders.

[Catherine Novella]

There she did it, she shared her true feelings and emotions and the world didn’t come crashing in on her, even thru the tears and the sobs in the end it felt like the weight of the world just came off of her shoulders.

Cat watched as Trapper tried to hide her crying eyes from her. It really didn’t and wouldn’t work. That much was for certain. Cat knew when trapper was crying, and was going to continue to cry..

Cat watched as soon as the words let Trappers mouth that if she told her then they could leave. Cat smiled knowing that she was getting her way and Trapper would soon tell her everything. She waited for her to start talking and watched as she sat back down next to her. Smiling she waited for the obvious explanation that was about to come.

Cat listened as Trapper started to explain how insecure she felt. How utterly helpless she felt when all of the animals were talking to her and she couldn’t control anything. Then came the real thing. About how scared she was to actually go out and that would tell her that her power would become overwhelming. That people might judge her for what she was doing. Then came up the topic that she was afraid people were ignoring her.

Shaking her head slightly Cat took a deep breath before beginning to talk to her. “ Hun. We have trainers to help with that. If you want something done you have to do it yourself. You have to go and try to improve yourself. Act on your fears. Then you wont fear them. Slowly but surely it will help.” Cat smiled over at her friend. “ You can beat this Trapps. You just need practice. You can’t keep your feelings shut up inside. Try going out. Try being sociable. You wont be disappointed” Cat stood up and held her hand out for her. “ Now lets go to lunch and think on what we can do to fix this.”

[Trapper Petano]

“ Hun. We have trainers to help with that. If you want something done you have to do it yourself. You have to go and try to improve yourself. Act on your fears. Then you wont fear them. Slowly but surely it will help.” Cat smiled over at her friend. “ You can beat this Trapps. You just need practice. You can’t keep your feelings shut up inside. Try going out. Try being sociable. You wont be disappointed” Cat stood up and held her hand out for her. “ Now lets go to lunch and think on what we can do to fix this.”

Trapper softened, Cat was right as she was always, she smiled at her as she took Cat’s hand and got up as they went to eat, thankful that she didn’t have to eat Cat’s sandwiches and cookies.

At lunch they laughed together, Cat could always get to her good side and Trapper was thankful that Cat was a true friend to her always telling as it was not candy coating anything.

After the meal which was filling Trapper suggested a walk to talk about ways for her to learn control of her umm ability and other then sitting in the middle of a zoo which would truly be overwhelming, too overwhelming for Trapper as the pair agreed, Trapper was nervous about fighting her fears, after all, all she did was run from her fears, she never confronted them face on and now Cat was going to be blunt with her and Trapper just wanted to run away but she trusted Cat with whatever she wanted to do to help her learn to face her fears of this ability of hers.

“SO?” Trapper asks Cat clearly nervous “What now”