Getting questions answered (Sean)

[Angela Chambers]

It had been seven or eight months since Angie had first started her sessions with Dr. Neville. Going to see him wasn't nearly as terrifying or gut wrenching as it had once been. I would dare say she's even become somewhat comfortable around the Doctor.

Comfortable enough that when after knocking, she walked into his office without waiting for a reply. It was their standing appointment after all.

"Hi Dr. Neville." She said as she sat in a chair closer to him than when she first began seeing him. "How are you today?"

The fact that he could read her mind didn't even bother her anymore. Well, not much usually. There were still times, if she put too much thought into what she was thinking around him and what he'd hear, when it became somewhat uncomfortable to her.

Today though, it was a little uncomfortable. There was a question that she wanted to ask. But she wasn't quite sure how to ask it. Or if it would make sense. And a little bit of nerve still needed to be worked up to ask.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean preferred to get into a rhythm with the students whom he saw for weekly sessions. It established a good rapport with them, while also providing consistency; both of those were valuable, particularly for a student with a background and personal history like Angie’s. Since the beginning of the year, they had made slow progress, and the psychiatrist kept his list of goals for her. Slowly but surely, they would achieve them together.

It would take a long time to undo everything that her family’s poisonous beliefs and treatment had done to her. But Sean was in this for the long-term.

He was prepared for her session this week as always. Josh’s had baked brownies the night before, because he knew that Sean enjoyed them. The psychiatrist had taken the remainders with him to work today and the platter was on the edge of his desk.

He smiled at her when she walked in. “Hello, Angie. I’m fine today. And how are you?”

The question was more than a mere pleasantry. He wanted to know how she was doing so they could use that as a springboard for their session today, if something was on her mind. Otherwise, he would go through the typical checklist of classes and friends.

“Also, please, take a brownie if you’re hungry.”

[Angela Chambers]

Angie’s nerves were a little on edge. Not nearly as much as they had been before. And it was mostly due to the awkwardness she felt for things she wanted to ask. And it caused her to pick nails as she sat, smiling at him. “I’m glad you’re fine. I’m… Fine too, I suppose.”

“Oh, thank you.” She said with a smile, standing to retrieve one, then sitting back down. “They look delicious.” After breaking off a piece and popping it in her mouth, she nodded. “And they are.”

She took another bite, taking her time to chew the brownie. The young girl wasn’t particularly hungry. But she found it comforting to have something to hold. And chew if she needed a moment, like now, to collect her thoughts. “Yeah, um, I’m fine. Classes and everything.” She stared intently at the treat in her hands. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately… About my family.”

Feeling her chest tighten, Angie popped another piece of brownie into her mouth. She felt… silly. Ridiculous. Absurd. What person didn’t know their status within their own family? “And well… I uh… I suppose I have questions. I know that you might not know the answers. Not all of them at least. But I just… Thought I’d ask. Or if maybe you’d help me find them out or something. I don’t know. It’s silly really though.”

“If you can’t, it’s fine. It’s really not important.” Angie tried to make herself comfortable with this conversation by shrugging her shoulders, as if it didn’t actually matter to her.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded. Everything was fine in his life at the moment, for which he was grateful. He and Josh were enjoying themselves and their second chance at their romantic relationship had hit the one year mark. They were both in good health. Work was going well. Their friends were doing well. There was little more for which Sean could ask.

The psychiatrist nodded in agreement and smiled. “They are. My hope is that their baker will eventually believe me when I tell him that.” That was an exaggeration, albeit only somewhat. Josh accepted the praise for what he baked, but he deflected all compliments in favor of Riley, insisting that doing the work was irrelevant because of the recipe and the lessons. Sean disagreed, but that was a long-term project.

“What have you been thinking about with your family?” The psychiatrist inquired. She had his full attention, and he watched her from across the desk, his gaze on her face, which was an active listening tactic.

She hadn’t spoken as much about her family as he would have liked over these past several months. Thus, this was monumental, and he didn’t want to miss anything.

He waited for pontifications, but instead received uncertainty, pauses, and vague questions. That was fine; Sean could slowly prod her into clarity. “I can tell you what I know, and research what I don’t,” he promised her. He was always happy to impart knowledge, regardless of whether he possessed that knowledge offhand.

And it most certainly was important. She wouldn’t have mentioned the topic in the first place if it wasn’t. Besides, her family had been one of the primary reasons Sean had wanted to speak to her in the beginning; there was nothing more important.

[Angela Chambers]

“If he doesn’t believe he’s a good baker, then perhaps he should be the one meeting with you instead.” Of course, she made a joke of it. And while at first she snickered, she second-guessed herself. Maybe it was in bad taste to have said it? A little wrinkle to her nose, she apologized. “Sorry. That wasn’t… meant to be rude.”

Smiling a little at Sean, she nodded. “Well thank you. I’d appreciate it. It’s just that… Researching, I wouldn’t really know where to start.” It was a rather loaded topic. And the thought of trying to find answer at all, let alone by herself, seemed rather daunting.

Angie dropped her eyes, uncomfortable as she was about asking him. This whole thing was fairly embarrassing to her. “It’s stupid really.” She said, feeling her cheeks flush a deep red. “But… Everything considered...” She popped another piece of the brownie into her mouth, slowly chewing. This was horribly difficult for her to discuss with anybody. But it was better to talk about it with Sean than not at all, right? Her only goal was to not let herself cry in front of him.

“With everything that happened… Am I still… their daughter?… I mean obviously I’m still their daughter. But, I mean,” Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair, obviously becoming frustrated with herself. “Are they allowed to see me? Or anything like that? On paper, am I still theirs?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean smiled at the joke, taking no offense from it. It might not have been in the best taste, but he knew it wasn’t malicious. “I keep telling him; I hope that he believes me someday. And don’t worry, you aren’t rude.”

He then listened to her explain the situation, and he understood how it would be difficult to research. If he was in her position, he wouldn’t know where to begin either. However, he had to make one point. “It isn’t stupid.” He wouldn’t let her use that word to describe herself, her feelings, or her needs.

Sean, as a psychiatrist, had relatively little interaction with the legal system. He was well-versed where the legal system intersected with education, psychiatric and social work areas, and medical ethics, about issues pertaining to meta-humans, some adoption and fostering law, and then he knew what he read about on a political level and what Josh told him when discussing his work. However, as part of his job, he made himself familiar with what happened in the lives of the students. As such, he did know some of the specifics of Angie’s family history, beyond the abuse.

The psychiatrist knew that she had been taken from parents in the legal sense, not merely by operation of Hammel jurisdiction. He knew that her parents’ parental rights had been terminated because of the situation. He knew what that meant in terms of legal rights, even if he wasn’t an attorney.

Sean considered how to explain the situation to her, given that it was complicated and, in some ways, devastating. He didn’t want to upset her, and since this wasn’t his area of expertise, the language available to him for explaining was limited. Finally, speaking gently, he said, “You aren’t on paper, no. I’m not a lawyer, so please bear with me, but when a parent’s rights are terminated, it means that on paper, they don’t have any legal claim to you. I don’t know enough about visitation but I know that they can’t force you to see them. If you wanted them to visit, you might be able to work that out with Hammel’s lawyer and the court.” He emphasized might, because he didn’t know for certain, and he didn’t want to give her incorrect information.

[Angela Chambers]

Angie relaxed, when Sean said she hadn’t been rude. “Well you should tell him I agree, that these are wonderful. Sometimes it’s easier to believe strangers than somebody you don’t know.” She felt that was true enough, even if it was only in her face.

She knew that he was trying to be kind, trying to make her feel better about the situation in telling her it wasn’t stupid. But, she almost felt as if she were being chided. Albeit lightly. But chided nonetheless. “Perhaps silly then.” The young girl corrected herself, a slight smile on her face. Even if it did feel stupid to her.

Listening intently to Sean, she pulled her feet onto the chair, resting her chin on her knees. Normally, she wouldn’t have taken such a rude positioning as having her shoes on furniture, but given the topic, she felt an overwhelming need to make herself comfortable.

With a quick shake of her head, Angie began talking. “No… no. I wouldn’t- I don’t want them to visit.” Even if she did want them to, she doubted they would. She took a minute, taking in what Sean had said, before she spoke again. “Does… Does that technically make me an… orphan?” The word itself had always sounded wrong to her. Even more so now. “And when Hammel has breaks… Will I just stay at the school now? Like Hammel is my home?” The other kids had places to go, families to see. Most of them anyway. While she’d just be the girl who never left.

“What about after school? After Hammel? Where will I go?” Angie knew she was getting ahead of herself. She still had years of the Institute left. Shaking her head, she offered a sad excuse for a smile. “Sorry. I know… that’s still a whiles away." But still, it terrified her. If Hammel was in fact her home now... Well, it wasn't as if when she was older she could visit and stay at the school for Christmas, now could she?

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The psychiatrist certainly couldn’t fault her for not wanting her family to visit. In fact, he was actually proud of her for that. Far too often, victims of abuse believed that they didn’t have the right to put up barriers, particularly when they were taught that the abusive treatment was normal or otherwise deserved because of their own perceived deficiencies. She deserved so much better than that.

“Not exactly,” he responded. That was more a linguistic quibble than anything else. “It makes you a ward of the state. ‘Orphan’ refers to people who either didn’t know their parents or whose parents are dead. But it’s an outdated term.” A remnant from a time without a social safety net or rights for children.

Sean wasn’t an attorney, and he didn’t work with Child Protective Services, aside from his duties as a mandatory reporter, and when he represented Hammel students. However, he did have knowledge of Hammel’s rights and responsibilities towards her, now that she was a ward of the state and her parents’ rights regarding her had been terminated.

“For breaks, you would stay at Hammel, yes,” he said with a nod. She wasn’t the only student in that position now, and she certainly wasn’t the only student to have ever been in that position. Niko, before being adopted by James and Chase, had been in a similar position. The psychiatrist had had an arrangement with L.C. due to her family history. “But you aren’t the only one,” he added, gently. He didn’t want her to feel bad about this. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but she would always have a home in Pilot Ridge, and that was better than living with abuse.

“It’s something to think about,” Sean said, thus implying that she needn’t apologize for asking, even though it was several years away. This was new to her, and it would be on her mind. “And college, at first. Just like everyone else. This won’t stop you from achieving your dreams and having a good future.”

Sean’s voice was gentle, as he added, “You’re always welcome to come back and visit.”

[Angela Chambers]

Angie felt a brief moment of relief when Doctor Neville assured her that she wasn’t exactly an orphan. But that relief quickly dissipated. “A ward of the state?” That wasn’t exactly something she liked better. “So I just belong to the state then?” She was beginning to regret even bringing this subject up. It felt ridiculous. And seemed like it was mostly just things she didn’t want to talk about.

“Still though… Hammel’s not supposed to be somewhere kids live year round.” No going home over breaks. Or for Christmas. She’d spend those at Hammel. The school was quickly beginning to feel like a prison and her sentence wouldn’t be up until she graduated in four years. Which seemed like an eternity away. “I suppose though it’s somewhat comforting to not be alone in that.” Somewhat was a slight exaggeration. It very marginally made her feel less of a freak. But she didn’t want Sean to feel as if he had to try to comfort her further on this subject. Even if he did already know how she actually felt about it.

The young girl had rarely pictured herself at college. It wasn’t particularly discussed at her home. Nor since she’d come to Hammel, though that was for entirely different reasons as she didn’t usually talk to people. “There are ways for me to be able to go a college even though I don’t have any money, right? Like scholarships? Don’t you have to pay those back?” But what would she even do? And whatever it was, she had to be good at it just to be able to pay it all back. She knew it was still a few years away, but she felt as if it were just right around the corner.

Looking at Sean, a small smile spread along her face. “But there won’t be a room for me. I won’t come back to find my things still in my room, untouched and waiting for me.” As her smile turned into a sad one, she shrugged her shoulders, as if it didn’t truly matter.

“So um…” she rested her chin on her knees, looking at the tips of her shoes, not wanting to dwell on what she’d said too much. This was something she had been wondering. Not for very long. But once or twice in recent days. “I-If somebody, just a random somebody, decided to adopt me… How, um, how would that work? If I didn’t like them, I wouldn’t have to be adopted by them, right?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean shook his head. Admittedly, it wasn’t the best phrasing, and he didn’t care for most of the language that surrounded children’s rights and relations. “The state and Hammel are financially and legally responsible for you. But you don’t belong to them the way a prisoner does.” And he had opinions on that topic as well; those weren’t appropriate for this discussion.

“Scholarships are gifts, not loans. That’s why there’s such emphasis placed on earning them.” From what he was given to understand, she also qualified for the greatest amount of financial aid available as a ward of the state, since she couldn’t rely on her parent’s income. But he would have to double-check that before informing her of it, and that was several years away.

He had to concede her point. It wasn’t like coming back to her old room after college, since Hammel’s dormitories had high turnover. Still, it wasn’t as though she would be forgotten, and he would always welcome her at his house. “No, but you would always have someone to come back to, in one way or another.”

Adoption was one of the few areas of the law in which Sean felt qualified to have a brief discussion. Not a conversation in which he would have to divulge many details, and certainly not one where he could be called upon to dispense legal advice, since he wasn’t remotely qualified to do that. But he had discussed Vermont adoption law at length with his attorney over the years, since he’d hoped to adopt or foster. As such, he was immediately able to assure her, “Nobody could adopt you without your consent.”

She needn’t worry about a Dickensian nightmare, in which a nefarious person uprooted her and forced her into a new family to mistreat her.

“But I can’t tell you exactly how it works; I’m not a lawyer.” His expression was apologetic, as he would prefer to give her all of this information himself.

“But I know someone who is,” he added with a small smile. “In addition to the Hammel attorney, I know someone who does some family law and adoption law. He could answer your questions if you wanted. I could set up a meeting.”

[Angela Chambers]

That was comforting. In that if all else failed, she was at least taken care of by the state. They had to be sure she was taken care of. “Oh. Ok.” She said with a nod, at least feeling as if she at least had a better understanding. Still though, it wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear.

“Well at least there’s that.” And that truly was comforting. Because, despite being unsure as to whether or not she actually wanted to attend college, she had thought it hadn’t even been an option for her. “I’ll just have to work hard to get one.” If she decided it was what she wanted, Angie was sure she could work just fine at schoolwork. It wasn’t as if she had many distractions socially. And it provided a good distraction.

Not wanting to dwell on the fact that Hammel wasn’t a home that wouldn’t always have a room for her, Angie smiled again at Sean, a little less sad. Because even though she might not be the happiest student, quite the opposite actually, he was trying to help her. Trying to make her see that Hammel could be a home. And she appreciated that. Or was growing to at least. “Thanks Doctor Neville.”

Able to breathe a sigh of relief, Angie relaxed for the first time in their current session, sinking a little into the chair. Thoughts of her being adopted by awful people had been plaguing her thoughts. She’d had visions of everything from religious people hell bent on saving her soul to somebody worse than her own parents.

His apologetic face made Angie shrug and smile, because she appreciated anything he could help her with. “I can’t expect you to have all the answers for me.” It was true, he couldn’t possibly have a knowledge of everything.

“You do?” The thought of talking to another about something so personal was a little scary. More than actually. “Would… I have to tell him about my parents? Because if I would… I’d rather wait to have a meeting with him. For a little while at least.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean couldn’t deny the fact that she would have to work hard for scholarships, since they were competitive. However, that was also four years away, and while she had to be mindful of her grades, she needn’t worry this minute about qualifying for scholarships in her senior year. “You will, but I have no doubt that you’ll be able to do it.” The psychiatrist had full confidence in her abilities, and there were many resources available to her.

He then offered her another smile. “I know.” As much as he might try, he couldn’t be all things to all people.

The psychiatrist nodded, assuring her that he did. “I do, and I can get you his contact information right now, if you’d like.” He had Cobalt’s numbers and addresses memorized, as he’d had to interact with the attorney several times before. He would only give Angie the other man’s office information, but he knew that Cobalt was dedicated to his job, and he was sure that the shadow manipulator would help her. For all of his animosity towards Sean and his general misanthropy, he was very good with children and teenagers. “You can tell him anything you feel comfortable telling him. I think eventually you might need to tell him about your parents, but you could do that on your own terms.”

From what Sean knew about these matters, her parents didn’t require notice of potential foster care or adoption, or anything else involving Angie’s life, so discussing them wasn’t imperative for legal reasons.

[Angela Chambers]

It was reassuring to Angie that Sean seemed to have such confidence in her, even if she didn’t have it in herself. Resting her chin on her knees, she smiled a little bigger than before. “Thanks Doctor Neville.”

Taking a moment to consider if she really wanted to do, the young girl stayed silent and chewed on her cheek. Yes, she knew her parents were no longer her legal guardians. And she didn’t want to see them. Not now and she wasn’t sure if ever again. But that was a terrifying thought all on it’s own, never seeing her mom and dad again. “Yeah,” she said with a curt nod. “if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to him.”

Angie didn’t bother trying to hide or apologize for her groan when Sean said it might be a good idea to discuss her parents. “I just… Don’t want people knowing. Ya’ know?” Of course, there’d probably always be somebody at any point in her life who knew. Which made her wonder if she were adopted, would her adoptive parents have to know too? But she’d save that to ask the lawyer.

“Would…” Feeling stupid to even bother asking, she dropped her eyes. “Would you mind um… Coming with me?” Her nails suddenly the most fascinating thing to her, she stared and picked at them, continuing in a rush. “I mean you don’t have to. But I just think I’ll be nervous talking to this guy I don’t know about things like this and i-i-it might be nice. Having a familiar face I mean.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded his understanding, because he did know what it was not to want others to be aware of every detail of one’s family life, particularly those that were shunned in society. He knew what it was to be judged harshly for matters that were out of his control. He had seen and felt through other people sleights far worse than he had experienced himself. And he had never advertised his falling out with his sister, had only mentioned it to a few people over the years. “I understand, and it’s between us and the other Hammel administration for now. And whatever you tell the lawyer.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” the psychiatrist said slowly. As a matter of personal preference, he had no aversion to going with her to Cobalt’s office. The attorney took issue with him and not vice versa. “And I’m sure that he’d understand that you’re nervous and wouldn’t mind that I’m there.”

Cobalt was a professional and could deal with Sean’s presence for an unrelated matter; the psychiatrist had confidence in him for that. He offered her another smile, should she look up and notice it. “But anything you tell him is confidential, and so if you want to talk to him about something you don’t want to discuss with me, I can always wait in the hall. I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

With that, he reached for his small notepad and pulled a pen from its place in the top drawer of his desk. In neat script, he wrote Cobalt Weaver, followed by his office address and telephone number. He then handed it over to her. “This is the lawyer I know. We can set up a meeting together.”

[Angela Chambers]

While it comforted Angie that so few people knew about her parents, it seemed like more than necessary. She’d come to accept that seeing Sean was necessary and that because of that, he needed to know. But did anybody else really have to know? It’s not as if she were some problem child causing trouble for others. She didn’t make comment about that though, instead only letting him know how she felt through her thoughts. Sometimes it was easier that way.

Breathing easier, Angie smiled in thanks to him. “I really appreciate that, Doctor Neville, thank you.” If she had to discuss things she’d rather not, she only hoped that it’d be easier with a familiar face.

“I suppose. But you’d know anyway what we were discussing.” Of course, she didn’t mean it what she said to be offensive. She had even smiled and chuckled quietly. And truth be told, she couldn’t imagine discussing anything with a stranger that she wouldn’t prefer to discuss with Sean.

Taking the paper from him, she nodded. “Ok then. Um… I guess… He’s a lawyer so he’s probably busy. Maybe next Friday?”