Think before you speak. Read before you think

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“I’m the person charged with your emotional wellbeing, as well as a professional in the field,” he replied. Sean spread his hands before him briefly, before clasping them on the desk. “There’s a difference between complacency and happiness, and there are several forms of happiness that are unhappy and unsustainable. I can discuss those at length, but I’m sure you don’t actually want an answer.” He was sure she wanted a provocation, and he simply wouldn’t provide that.

“And being left alone, while it might make you feel better at the moment, isn’t sustainable. Regardless of how you see this, this isn’t a punishment.” His gaze was focused as he watched her steadily. “If you don’t want to help me, then that’s your choice. My time isn’t any more valuable than yours is, and I’m a very patient man.” He was game to sit here all day, weekly if necessary to get to the bottom of this.

“Actually, I have authority everywhere in this school,” he informed her. He had authority in the class rooms, he had authority in the library, he had authority in the halls, and even in the dormitories. There was a greater degree of privacy afforded to dormitories because they were living space, but that didn’t negate his duties, his responsibilities, or his authority. “That’s why people who engage in illicit substances end up here, even when they do it supposedly in public.”

But he wasn’t going to argue this further. She could try to deny his ability to call her here, but the fact that he had brought her in proved his authority. That he wouldn’t let her leave so easily was a testament to his dedication.

“I don’t expect to like your answers, but that’s fine. This isn’t to placate me, and since you said you’ll be honest, this is what matters.” If she didn’t want him to be tactful, then Sean would dispense with much of the pretense typically reserved for sessions. “What is it you want to do when you graduate?”

[Catherine Novella]

Why in the world was he the one to be charged with her well being? Wasn't that her job? She did not need any help in that area. She was healthy and happy enough. Stupid nosy people. "But why do you have to judge whether I am happy or not? It is only my business." Smiling she looked towards him and tilted her head. "No actually I do. I want to hear what and why you are justifying me as being unhappy so I can politely refute it." Oh Sean, you've provided all of the provocation necessary.

" If it isn't a punishment what is it? Why do you call me away from my day? Please, do, explain to me how this isn't a punishment."Shaking her head she met his gaze, not letting hers drift before his did. " I don't. I don't want you to help me. I do not need help.It is as simple as that. I know when to get help, I know when to admit I'm wrong. This is not one of those situations." Smiling she gave a small giggle as he told her he was patient. Obviously this man had never met her before. " Doctor Neville, I assure you I am just as patient as you."

Cat gave a small smile as he continued to explain himself sighing lightly as he made his position seem more powerful then it really was. If he had authority everywhere why was he not in a higher position of power? It did not make sense as she could see it. What did he do with his power? Abuse it. By taking random people in and forcing them to think his way. The man's powers only added to this. Illicit activities? Really? Grinning Cat actually laughed at the thought. "So now I am participating in illicit activities?" she grinned as she shook her head. "Nice way to compare there Doctor Neville.

She would and was all but ready to argue. His points were invalid in certain ways and she felt the need to point them out. He couldn't have the upper hand here. No matter what or why she was called she wasn't going to let him have his answers so easily. Not when he could just reach in her mind. Again, she doesn't like the privacy invasion thing.

She nodded. At least he was honest with himself. "Honesty matters, no matter what." She truly believed that and absolutely hated liars. They weren't and did not hold any respect in her view. The question caught her off guard though. Why did he even care. "I want to be a children's librarian." The thought filled her with a silent joy. She would be happy, quite happy if she could help those younger learn to read as she did.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“Because I’m the mental health professional assigned to Hammel. Assessment is my job.” That was as much time and energy that Sean would spend defending or rationalizing his position at Hammel. This was within his job description and his credentials. She didn’t have to like it; he didn’t expect her to like it. However, that didn’t change the basic facts that there were objective measures for healthy behavior and mental state, and that he had both the credentials to make those determinations, as well as the authority to get involved once those determinations were made. “That isn’t something to refute with me. If you don’t like the school practices, you can send a letter to the APA and make an appointment with Mrs. Morgenstern.”

The psychiatrist continued to meet her gaze, because she was using the eye contact as a contenst. “Not everything that one finds inconvenient or frustrating is a punishment. Punishments exist to teach someone that their behavior is wrong or for retribution. I’m sure you’re already aware of that. If you can’t or won’t see the difference between meeting with me because I’m concerned for you, even if you find my reasons illegitimate and coming to me for a punishment, then you’re free to join the ranks of people who resent meeting with me while I do my job.” Being liked wasn’t his concern, and he could cope with resentment; he’d survived endless sessions with Mia Keystone last year. “And I’m glad to hear that you’re patient. It should make our weekly appointments go all the more smoothly.”

The psychiatrist then shook his head. “You know better,” he informed her. She was being deliberately obtuse at this point. “We were discussing how my authority extends throughout the school, even to Mister Morrison’s office, if necessary. It isn’t intellectually honest to then change the topic of comparison.” And she had said that honesty was an important value to her, although he was also quite familiar with debate tactics. One didn’t work at a school for this long without learning them, on top of his psychiatric training.

“A children’s librarian,” he repeated. His voice contained no judgment, no mockery, no distaste. It wasn’t a surprising answer, given her work at the school library, although desiring to work with children specifically implied a desire for social interaction, even if it was with people far younger and undeveloped. “What makes you interested in that?”

[Catherine Novella]

Cat just shook her head at his explanation. "But who are you, as a fellow person, to assess me and my attitude?" Cat gave a small grin as she looked over to the man sitting behind the desk. By the look on his face Cat just shook her head and took a deep breath before speaking again. "It's your job yada yada yada, but where do you draw the line between your profession and your morals?" For her, this whole profession was an objection of human morals and ethics. Different people had different perceptions of normal. She was fine and he wouldn't be able to change that. Besides, He was who he was. At his suggestion she just rolled her eyes and gave a small chuckle. "Like that would really make a difference. After all I am just a teenager." Teenagers didn't have the power that adults did. They tried to install a false sense of hope and responsibility in those who were just trying to survive. Such backwards people adults were.

See that was where he was wrong. There was no contest here. To Cat this wasn't a contest, it wasn't a battle, it wasn't two people dueling. This was just a difference of opinions. Eye contact was polite, was the doctor not used to people being polite anymore? When talking to someone you always held eye contact. laughing at his words Cat just shook her head. "Oh I know the difference. My question is do you? Do you really understand the difference between a punishment and a frustration? Especially to someone like me? See I don't think you do. I think that you sit in your chair, thinking of things to say poking in my head while I just am here. That's right, just here." sighing Cat looked towards the man with a small smile. "I don't resent you, I don't resent this meeting, I resent the invasion of privacy which is your job. I have nothing against you, just the invasion of privacy your job brings." So it was to be weekly sessions then. "As long as it doesn't interfere with my job." That was her one requirement if the doctor wanted her to cooperate peacefully.

Cat just laughed at his words. They were true. She did know better. Honestly, she just didn't want to be here. At this rate she was stalling. "Yes yes, but it is a huge invasion of privacy." Nothing would change that. especially not his views, which, to her were very very very backwards. " Who ever said human nature was intellectually honest?" Who ever had said that was a fool.

Cat eyed the man suspiciously as he repeated what she had said. It couldn't be all that surprising, and it couldn't be all that odd. Really she just didn't want anyone to go through what she went through in school. The brief thought of isolation and bullies flashed through her mind before she pushed them away. "Why?" For once smiling at the psychologist with a true smile Cat leaned in closer as she began to tell him. "I want to help children learn to love stories as I do... to help them escape into a world just for themselves and fully immerse themselves into this world." Was that such a bad thing Doctor?

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“My morals are what prevent me from worrying about whether other people value what I do,” Sean informed her. If she, as did many people in the United States, saw no value in his profession, it had no bearing on the inherent value of his work. It had no bearing on his willingness to continue his work. And she was not the first person, and would likely not be the last, to question his job. There would be no earth-shattering revelation in which he suddenly came to agree with her perspective and offer mea culpas.

“Yes, I do. You’re welcome to disagree with me, since there is little I can do to disabuse you of your opinion. But your opinion has no bearing on my authority or my job functions. You can resent having sessions with me, but that won’t change the fact that we will have sessions together.” The psychiatrist folded his hands in front of him, his gaze steady, his tone completely free of anger or frustration; this was matter-of-fact. He didn’t consider it a blow to his ego or an affront to his sensibilities to have to argue with a student; that was simply part of his job and his life. “I can tell you that I understand what it is to be in your position. You can take that as you will.” She could choose to believe him, or she could continue to make accusations and judgments about his own experiences and motivations while attempting to shift the balance and deflect from the purpose of this meeting.

“One can’t have a real discussion without intellectual honesty. If you want to hide behind a vague notion of human nature as an excuse for choosing not to engage in intellectual honesty, then that’s something you can reflect upon for another day. But it is shutting down discussion.”

The psychiatrist nodded a single time, confirming that his question had, in fact, been an inquiry into why she wanted to become a children’s librarian. It was a specific career goal, which indicated that she had to have given great thought to the matter. Given her personality, he was sure that she had, even without the other indicators. Sean then listened carefully as she explained what it was that drew her to being a children’s librarian. Her reasons were valid; they might be described as noble, insofar as sharing with children, even in the context of wanting to share from one’s own perspective, was noble. As someone who had a great amount of affection for children and for their development, he respected wanting to work with them and introduce them to a lifelong skill and pastime. He certainly wasn’t surprised by her reasoning. “That’s something that we can discuss in-depth during our next meeting.”

He believed that it would be a good jumping point for discussion. “Because we will meet weekly.”

[Catherine Novella]

That was the thing though. She did value what he did. It was a completely helpful and good thing, for many people, who went and were forced to go. She just didn't like the fact she had to go. It was also the fact that he used his meta power with his job that didn't help his case. It made him not human in her eyes, too powerful. Think of all the abuse that he could do. It just wasn't safe for anyone.

"What do you mean?" He didn't know. No one knew. Not a single person in this damn school knew. "Please don't pull that bullshit with me Doctor Neville." No one really knew, and they couldn't know. "Hah, Please, don't joke with me." There wasn't such a thing as someone who knew. Even with Doctor Neville's powers he couldn't know. "This is how I take it." Taking a deep breath Cat looked at the doctor and she shook her head before talking quietly, expressing her opinion. "You don't know me, you don't want to know me, you don't care. Stop trying to make me believe you do. It won't work and frankly its pathetic in the way that you are twisting words to accompany your thoughts and your ideals which are, of course, the only way to do things, especially for you." Taking a deep breath she looked at him as he looked at her. "I don't hate you. I don't hate what you do, I don't hate the fact that I am here, I hate the fact that I am useless in this situation and can do nothing to convince and get you to see what is true and what is not true." She shook her head before looking at him. "Don't take me that lightly doctor."

"One man's discussion is another's idea of a pursuit of bullying." In her eyes there was such a thing and Dr.Neville was using that to his advantage in forcing her to come here. "Am I really not the one indulging in a conversation of Intellect Honesty?" She wasn't the one in the wrong here.

Cat sighed looking over at the man on the other side of the desk. "All right." There wasn't much she could do to convince him he was wrong and she didn't need meetings, but she knew him well enough to know that she would win in the end. She couldn't help but know superiority was in her hands.She knew he really didn't care. No one cared like that anymore. Of course she wasn't worth it, she never had been. "When will our meetings be?" She needed time to prepare herself for this whole ordeal.

"If you say so." She wasn't going to fight him on this. It wasn't worth the effort."As long as it doesn't coincide with my job I honestly don't care."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“Everything is subjective in the first person and so concrete in the second and third person,” Sean remarked, his tone and facial expression not changing despite the fact that she had insulted him twice. “Which is why you can be so insistent that I don’t understand you and while simultaneously asserting that I don’t care. But there will be time to discuss that during our association.”

Her bullying remark warranted comment, but the psychiatrist didn’t respond. He wouldn’t make a statement about her past or experiences when such details were lacking, as that was both ignorant and cruel. He did, however, believe it wrong to callously throw out a term like bullying, which, like abuse wasn’t one to be assigned lightly. While there was a subjective component, in that the victim’s opinions and perspectives were paramount, declaring the rule of “one man’s x is another man’s y” was a tactic most often engaged in by those trying to minimize their behavior while over-emphasizing others’ for the purpose of false equivalence.

“Your words and behavior indicate that you view this as a sparring match, a game to be one with points to be scored like a debate. It isn’t, and we’re both here for the duration.”

He listened to her shrug off the rest of the discussion, and then he moved on to wind this down for today.

“The sessions themselves won’t coincide with your job,” the psychiatrist replied. “However, if as a result of them, the administration finds your hours need to be shifted or reduced, then that is an occupational hazard. I also don’t want these meetings to interfere with your classes, so I can schedule around them.”

To that end, Sean turned to his computer for a moment, bringing up the student database to check her schedule. He typically didn’t rely on technology for his own calendar, but this was an arena where he wanted no overlap, and Cat had been somewhat less than forthright in their conversation. It would be more productive to check the master schedule, until he had incorporated her schedule into the rotation in his memory. And after checking that, he said, “Tuesday mornings then, during your free period before lunch.”

He took her at her word that she would come to his office as scheduled, without the need for him to contact security to have her brought. As such, he reached for his day planner, since he would have to pencil her in. “Since the bell is about to ring, and I wouldn’t want you to miss class, we can resume this next Tuesday.”