How Do I Computer [Cee]

[Cee Cohen]

“Neither do I! I’ve never seen anything like this. I don’t even—I can’t even….I don’t comprehend this, Jaack!” It was half a wail. He didn’t understand how it couldn’t be working—and he’d never seen anything like this. Thoroughly exasperated with the error messages, he shut the computer down, and then leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes, and took a few steadying breaths the way his therapist had told him to. He had used to be able to keep himself calmer than this, but he’d always known that working on computers required him to remain calm. Banging on the keyboard always created more problems than it was worth. So instead, he tried to relax from the nervous tension in his body and flick through issues. Well, it’d see how the restart ended up. It could’ve just been a glitch. Or it could’ve been an issue with the code. He’d see when it started up again. Once he felt calmer, he opened his eyes.

“Sorry,” he said. “I was really perplexed, Jack! How could you manage not to go senseless with that?”

[Jack Maguire]

Whoops. Jack reached out and patted Cee on the back, carefully giving him just a little bit of calm. He withdrew his hand when Cee shut down the computer and took deep breaths, giving the younger man his space. Jack certainly understood the need to step away and collect yourself again, so he let Cee gather himself again. Jack raised his barriers a little bit, just to keep the bulk of the frustration out of his own system and just focused on quietly filling the air of the small office with some calm.

When Cee opened his eyes again, Jack offered a smile. "Don't worry about it. I had no idea this was such a difficult problem. If I'd have known, I would have just taken this to a shop and not stressed you out so much."

"It just started doing that," Jack replied. "So I didn't have to put up with it so long. I can still take this to a shop, if you like? I'm sure you have a million other things to do with your time."

[Cee Cohen]

His calming exercise was working a little bit better than normal, and Cee suspected that was Jack’s doing. He suppressed the mild bit of panic that always came up with that, and the frustration that sometimes welled up too. Jack was just trying to be nice. And he should be grateful for the help, really. But one day he really wished he’d be able to control it all on his own.

“It’s not really difficult exactly,” he explained. “It’s just perplexing and unusual and, okay, just plain weird. I’ve never encountered anything of its nature. I’m okay, really.” He smiled at him. “I just don’t know what to do with problems I can’t fix right away! Clearly, I needed a new kind of problem to deal with. Besides, I told you—I can still do better than a shop.” He turned back on the computer and glanced back at Jack, adding, almost absently, “Besides, you’re my friend. I’d like to be able to do it for free. Although you might owe me coffee after this. Decaf.” No one who knew Cee allowed him to drink anything else. He put the computer into safe mode, to check for viruses and, after turning it to Jack for the password, turned it back to him.

“M’kaay,” he mumbled. “Same problems.” His nose wrinkled in exasperation, and he spun a pen idly between his fingers before asking, rather abruptly, “how often do you do Windows update?”

[Jack Maguire]

Jack really should have known not to interfere so much. He sometimes forgot, even now, that people--even friends like Cee--didn't appreciate the extra help. Which was fair, it wasn't any of his business and he knew it. So Cee's reflexive panic and frustration mingled horribly for a moment with his own guilt before he hiked up his barriers long enough to center himself.

"You've never experienced something like this before?" Jack echoed. "Oh dear. I had no idea my computer problem was going to mutate." He gave Cee a smile in reply. "Still, I do apologize." On behalf of the computer and overstepping himself.

His smile grew wider. "When this ordeal is over, I will buy you coffee. Whatever you like." Within reason. He was pretty sure Cee's heart would explode if he were given anything but decaf. When Jack said "whatever you like", he meant a pastry.

He obediently typed in his password and turned it back to Cee, who frowned again. "I update it every time it asks me," Jack replied. "Is that a good thing?"

[Cee Cohen]

“All computer problems mutate,” Cee informed Jack. “That’s why you take it in earlier, or something of that nature. Because if you get a virus on it or something starts going wrong, it opens up windows for another problem.” But he wasn’t scolding—it was purely matter-of-fact and back to his usual friendly comments. Cee had managed to calm himself down again and was now back in his focused mode—trying to see if he could get the computer to operate again. “But mutate?” Realizing that this was a word in a context he’d never heard before, he looked up and beamed at Jack. “I like that!”

That was one of the reasons he liked Jack. He always had pretty cool words.

“But no decaf, right?” Cee grinned at him again, to show that he understood, and nodded. “I receive your bargain, Jack.”

Cee shook his head. “Nope! Microsoft engineers all have inflated self-esteem and they don’t think the updates through. Wait three days, because otherwise…” he bit his lip. “I can attempt to uninstall it, I think. Let’s try restoring again…or further updates, I suppose.”

[Jack Maguire]

“Ahh, makes sense.” Jack was used enough to Cee and the way Cee said things to recognize that the other man was just talking now. He grinned when his friend complimented him on his word choice. “Thank you, I try.”

Jack laughed. “You’re getting nothing but decaf. I’m afraid of giving you caffeine. I feel like you would have about seven heart attacks at once.” And Cee would probably take apart the school in his excitement about…everything. Really, it was Jack’s duty as a friend and a teacher at Hammel Institute to make sure that Cee didn’t ingest caffeine.

Jack shrugged. “I can probably wait three days, but if you think you can fix it today, that would be preferable. It’s up to you.”

[Cee Cohen]

“Does it?” Cee asked distractedly. Lost in computerland, he was only half paying attention to what he was saying and, although this probably didn’t make him sound like a good friend, what Jack was saying either. The whole of his rather busy and bustling mind was focused on the small screen in front of him to the exclusion of everything else. “Most people don’t agree with your assessment....and really?” Now he brightened as he looked at his friend. “Stupendous!”

He’d been rather proud when he’d found that one in the dictionary.

“I would not,” he informed Jack as he turned his attention back. “That’s a physical impossibility. I have coffee every morning anyways.” Which would explain why he always showed up to the school bouncing off the walls and scaring all the students.

He shook his head. “No. You wait three days after the update comes out to install it on your computer. I can fix this now, I think. We’ll restart once more and then check to see if things are working. Sometimes just restarting helps. And if not..." He sighed. "I guess you could take it to a repair shop."

[Jack Maguire]

Jack grinned. “You make sense sometimes. It happens.” He let Cee work, since it was clear he could be talking about gardening on the moon and Cee wouldn’t really notice. But that was all right, he didn’t mind sitting quietly, since he suspected he’d been distracting Cee quite a bit.

Jack grinned. “I’m sure you’ll find a way. And now I am going to proceed to be worried about your health, brace yourself.” He was obviously joking, since Cee was an adult and could handle his own business. But he couldn’t help teasing just a little bit. “Although that explains where you get all the energy in the mornings. I know your secret.”

“I don’t mind going to a repair shop,” Jack replied. “If it happens, it happens. But I appreciate you looking at it now.”

“How’re your classes going, by the way?” He asked after a moment, “Anything particularly exciting happen to you?”

[Cee Cohen]

Cee could be both difficult to distract and, at the same time, extremely easy to distract. It depended on what he was doing. When he was teaching, he brought his ability to focus down in an almost pointed fashion on making sure his students understood exactly what he was expecting. But then, when he was at home and using dangerous things like flame, for example, his attention was almost immediately distracted away—one of the reasons Cee had been evicted so many times and was now paying such high rent.

“If it increases your confidence,” Cee said without looking up “then I would tell you that the last man who died of a heart attack in my family was four hundred pounds. As you can see, I am in much better health.” A lie. Cee was thin, but his diet was terrible and, what was more, inconsistent—the only reason he wasn’t the size of a house already. “And I’m naturally energetic in the morning!”

Once he’d gotten the computer back on the restarting process, he leaned back and shrugged. “They’re okay! No technopaths to permanently ruin my systems. And yourself?”