Walk a Mile in My Shoes (Lei)

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made a small sound, his fingers curling against the edge of his jacket's cuffs. "I don't know. I've already done enough to you. You shouldn't have to deal with the pile of teenage problems I have." he murmured. "Sometimes...i'm afraid that it's all just too much to bare on my own shoulders. Why would I dump that onto someone else's?" he stated almost sadly.

"I don't. They always wanted us to think about it, but to be honest. I'm surprised I'm even alive still. " he stated with a shake of his head. Even if there were requirements for him to make goals it ahd not been something he'd ever thought deeply on.

"I will have to. Where I am going only punishment awaits me." he murmured softly. Though hopefully it would give him the closure he needed. Though he doubted the way he explained anything would make light of his words.

"she doesn't have a heart anymore. She's not the mother i used to know." he stated sadly. "Like who?" lei questioned as they walked.

[Vincent Meian]

"Because I ask it of you." The answer was stern in its own right, though the tone was something almost entreating in its gruffness. "It is because the burden is great that you must level it with another. Carrying too much can break anyone." There was an added hint of humor to his tone when he continued, "Remember that I was once a teenage boy as well."


"Giving yourself something to strive towards tends to make human beings focus their efforts," Vincent explained, gesturing with one hand. If Lei hadn't noticed before, he would see that the bruising from before had faded to something yellowish with a touch of green now - they were almost gone. "An old friend once told me to live in the present, yet plan for a long future. It is an effort worth its time."


The trainer shot his student a confused glance and debated on the wisdom of asking further. On the one hand, it was really none of his business, but on the other it felt as if Lei had something to share. Depending on the 'punishment' as well, the boy could be in some kind of real trouble. "You do not need to answer me, but I must ask," he began. "Is this something I should be concerned with?"


Vincent was quiet at the condemnation of the woman. Honestly, he felt there was something else at work here, or perhaps that was wishful thinking. Having never really had parents that cared for him, he always hoped that other students had more luck in that regard. "If you do not know, I think you do not pay much attention," he stated ruefully, giving the boy a smirk.

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken's expression seemed to hold a sadness that he could not quite erase as the other man spoke. THe words he spoke flicked somewhat at strings within him, though he tried not to break down again, no he had to learn to talk about these things without doing that. He had to. "Is that why you want me to see the telepath?" he stated of course meaning sean. "I haven't been able to get an appointment with him yet. He's a rather busy man." he murmured.

"That's true I suppose." he stated with a sigh. Leiken hadn't noticed until just then, a faint smile crossing his lips, "you're healing well.I'm so happy for thata." he murmured. "An old friend?" he questioned gently. "They sound like they know what they're talking about." he added lightly.

Leiken shook his head a bit as he played with the sleeve of coat. "I'm going back. For a few days. " he explained finally. "I can't focus to become better here until I can ... until I can forget about all of this pain. I'm not sure...how it will help, but i feel liike I can't go forward when there are chains holding me in the past. At least...if this works like i hope...I will be able to fix the problem of my broken heart easier." he murmured as he rubbed at his cheek. "I have to go back so that I can go forward. I need to be there. To unhook the chains that bind me." he murmured.

Leiken made a small sound, his cheeks reddening a bit as he hugged his own arms a little, "O-oh. "

[Vincent Meian]

Vincent nodded, unable to deny the truth of the simple statement. It was certainly part of the reason, though the rest would likely make the boy shy away further. "Yes - he is a good listener, and I think you will benefit greatly from speaking to him," he answered, his tone more gentle now that his point had been made. "Try to make an appointment after the break is complete - I am sure he will have more time then."


The trainer glanced to his hand with a smile before tucking it away in his pocket again. "Yes - I had a bit of help with that from the doctor you mentioned," he answered. "I should be fully recovered within a week, though what is left is negligible."


"He did, though I wish he had listened to his own advice." The tone was not any darker, nor was it contemptuous, but there was a hint of weary irony that made it seem like he missed said friend. Granted, he did - he'd not seen Suekeichi in many years and longed to see more of him than a letter every year on his birthday.


The soldier said nothing to the revelation, thinking such things over in his mind. While it made some sense and it could potentially help, Lei going back to Japan could cause so much unneeded pain. But if it was what he needed... "So be it," he murmured, nodding. "When do you expect to leave and return?"

[Leiken Chu]

Leiken nodded faintly, "I will try to keep that in mind. " though he wasn't really sure how that would go over. Somehow the idea of talking to sean was becoming less of a fear and more of an option. Leiken wanted help, he needed it, but his own barriers were fighting him hard. Talking to people didn't feel safe, but it was needed. If he kept hiding in his safety barriers then sooner or later they would shatter and everything would hit him at once. That would be disasterous. "Yeah. you're probably right, i imagine there are alot of people visiting him right now because of holiday blues, or something." he noted.

Lei nodded slightly, giving a happy sound, "I told you he was a good doctor. The fact that he has the same ability as me... i don't know...somehow makes me a little happy. For a long time i thought i was just some huge freak because i had never ever heard of another person in all my life who had the same ability as I do. His is a little different from mine i think, but it's still...the same." He stated wondering if the other man would understand what he meant.

"Those who can't do, teach, as they say; Right?" He stated with a faint laugh. Trying to lighten the situation as much as he could manage to. "mm. I give alot of advice i don't follow too. " he noted. "You can do it. you deserve it. don't give up. It's all easier to tell other people to do. It's easier to help someone else believe than it is to get yourself to." he assured.

"New years eve. I expect to return the second.I'm not sure if I'll come back any better off, but I won't be going alone. So maybe I'll maintain my head regardless." he stated as he took in a dep breath. exhaling heavily that anxious sensation within his chest. He'd been doing that same deep breath routine whenever he got anxious ever since he'd started his sessions of meditating with vincent. SOmehow it seemed to help a little, even if it was a temporary fix, it did help.

"If you want... I can come check in with you the moment i get back to campus. So you know that I am alright." he stated as he looked toward the sky. Flinching a bit when a few snowflakes fell to his lashes.

[Vincent Meian]

Vincent smiled slightly at Lei's description of Dr. Roberts. He knew what it was like to feel alone and freakish even when you were in a group of people like you simply because no one else could do what you could. And because what you could do was dangerous. "Indeed," he agreed. "Your range is greater and you are not limited by touch. You would likely do well to work in his clinic after you graduate. Have you thought at all about medical school?"


"This is very true," he answered wryly, his smile returning. "I agree as well with your observation; the most subtle and insidious lies we tell are often to ourselves, making it hard to take the advice we know to be true." As it was, there were a few things he'd told Leiken that he could not yet face himself... or things he thought he believed that were untrue. It had nothing to do with the boy, simply that advice was given not only from experience but from what we wish to see bettered in ourselves.


Mentally counting the days, Vincent remembered that New Year's Eve was a Monday this year and equated that to... Wednesday. He'd be back in town on Wednesday. He let the boy take a breath before he asked, "Are you taking a friend?"


He hadn't known that Lei really had any friends, given his general disposition, however he also hadn't assumed that he didn't have confidants. it was just one of those curious questions.


The trainer shook his head. "I trust you to be responsible," he said calmly, "and I will be here on the fourth to continue our lessons. You may contact me if you wish, but I will not require it of you." Lei did not have his phone number or address, but he did have the older man's email. It would have to do, considering their situation.

[Leiken Chu]

Lei made a small sound, shaking his head a bit, "I haven't really thought much about the future until recently. To be honest, i hadn't really planned to live that long, I didn't think i would anyway." he stated a little sadly. "I've thought about medical school, about going to school to be an astrologist, many things about the future recently. Th..that's a good sign isn't it?" he stated with a little bit of a distressed tone. He didn't really want to tell anyone what he'd been feeling like doing lately. he hoped that this trip would take that feeling away and give him hope for the future.

Lei nodded slightly toward the other man as he stated about how what he said having alot of truth in it. Lei knew it to be true, perhaps that was part of the reason lei hated the whole idea behind taking someone else's advice, because most did not follow their own.

"Stargazer will be escorting me." He stated softly. Though he made a sound, "I mean Orion. I trust him and he does not have any family or anything back here that would be upset by him being absent a few days. " He stated softly. "He might not be able to do anything like you could if my ability acts up, but..." he trailed off. "I trust him too and I know that he will listen to me if I tell him to get away. I ... I have been speaking with him alot about what has happened in the past and about some of the things I've been feeling after...well...what happened that day you rejected me. " he muttered softly. His voice holding that strong stabbing pain within it. Yet he still spoke those words. It was embarrassing, his face told of this, but he wasn't going to run from it anymore.

It had happened.

Lei lifted his head before looking directly at vincent's features, "I will be. " Lei made an almost sad expression. Part of him wanted to shove at that man, to tell him to ask him to check in, to want him to. Part of him wanted to hear vincent say that he cared to know whether or not he came back alright. Though Lei did not say anything of it, "If i wish." he muttered aloud before he pulled the hood of his coat up over his head. mostly to shadow his own expressions.

He felt sad, yet he knew he shouldn't feel that way.

[Vincent Meian]

The slight note of panic in Lei's voice gave the man pause, but he answered regardless, "Yes, I believe it is." It was a sign that the boy's depression was waning and that he was finding things to live for in this life. More than anything, it showed that his desire to take his own life was starting to fade as well. "If you would like, I can help you research the fields of study and advise on which college to attend."


Though slightly surprised to hear that Orion was to be escorting the boy, Vincent held his tongue on the subject. Given his tone of voice and the amount of hurt he still carried towards the trainer, he was fairly certain the Chinese boy was not attempting to cause another misunderstanding, however it was still a little unsettling. Though, he supposed having an adult present would keep him from getting into too much trouble. "I am certain he will keep you safe," he answered simply. "I have no powers to protect me from you save my own stubbornness - he will do just as well, I am sure, and better in some respects. I am glad you are learning to trust others more as well."


The expression on the student's face was hidden quickly, but the trainer managed to catch a bit of it anyway. What had made him so upset? Was he worried because Vincent hadn't demanded a check-in? He struggled with the subtleties of that worry for a moment before he added, "However, if you would like to speak with me or let me know you are safe... I believe Orion will have my personal phone number."


It was a small concession and nothing that could be considered untoward, but he felt like it would make Lei feel better nonetheless. Or, it could make things worse, should he take the number for himself. Either way, it was what it was.

[Leiken Chu]

"I hope so. " He stated softly as he watched the other man. Nodding slightly, "I would like that, if you can, i mean. I would like that alot. The more help i get the better ill be in the long run." he stated as he hugged his own arms. He couldn't really shake that feeling witihin him.

Leiken didn't really realize how it might have looked taking another teacher he was familiar with on a trip out of town alone. He had no idea it could look bad, after all, his intentions were unusually pure. He had no intention on ever being that way toward orion, that was just weird to even think about, "You have more power than you think, Vinny. "

Lei made a small sound, looking toward Vincent then, nodding lightly. "I will kee..keep that in mind." he stuttered out with a faint color on his cheeks. "S..so where are we going anyway?" he asked as they walked.

[Vincent Meian]

Vincent quirked an eyebrow at the mention of power, but did not answer. it was something he hadn't really thought about, but it wasn't something where going into that rabbit hole was a good idea.


"Nowhere in particular," the tall man answered, looking around now that they had left the courtyard proper and were closer to the training field. "I simply felt that we should take a walk and enjoy the snow." Winter was the trainer's favorite time of year for a number of reasons, and the cold air made walking just that much more invigorating, if not difficult. "Even if much of our training is spent in meditation, simply contemplating our role in the world is not enough. Sometimes, we must walk the world to understand it."