I'm Alright (Sean)

[Josef Muller]

Josef couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen Sean. It was probably around the time when he’d left for D.C. with William…what, four years ago? Time had gotten awfully stretched as of late, and somewhat blurred together until he couldn’t recall the correct dates for anything. He’d turned forty. Maybe that was the reason for it. But Josef blamed everything on turning forty, including and up to the fact that he could never remember where he’d set his keys, even though he’d been doing that since he was sixteen (although that had been for an entirely different reason. No teenage boy’s mind was ever entirely up to full operating speeds). He wasn’t likely to stop now. He’d run into the telepath in the market and, on a whim, had invited him to lunch. He’d always liked Sean when they worked together. The other man had a calm that he envied, especially in his younger, hot-headed days. No matter what the world threw at Sean, he could handle it.

Or if he couldn’t, he had everyone really, really well fooled.

He’d ended his class early for the afternoon so he could shower, shave (he’d been growing out a bit of stubble lately and liked the look), and get dressed in clothes that were neither a gi or a pair of sweatpants. As a result, he’d arrived early and had taken the time to peruse the latest letter from Sam. He wasn’t sure what they were now. He hadn’t much liked the idea of them not being together, but being with someone while they were in prison was…not the best solution. It was hard, and Josef frequently felt…lost. And confused. However, he wasn’t one to complain. It was better than losing touch completely.

He glanced up as the other man entered the room and smiled, folding the letter and tucking it into his jacket pocket as he rose to shake the other man’s hand. Although his mood was hardly the best, and had not been for some time, his expression was pleasant enough, if a bit blank. But that was normal for Josef.

“Sean,” he said, “thank you for agreeing to meet with me. It’s been a while. How has Josh been doing?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean was fond of Josef. He had been fond of the younger man when the latter had been at Hammel, and he remained fond of him afterward. Despite having mutual friends, they didn’t spend a great amount of time together, partially because Josef’s social activities differed greatly from Sean’s. Josef certainly enjoyed physical activity more than the telepath did, save sailing and swimming which – while also good exercise – were done purely for leisure.

Thus, it had been a delightful surprise when he’d run into the younger man at the grocery store. In between adding a box of Chanukah candles for Josh, in addition to a platter of blue and white sugar cookies, and searching for tuna steaks, he had agreed to meet Josef for lunch.

Because they were friendly, and their age difference was negligible (given this stage in life), the telepath had dressed “down” for their meeting, to the extent that he ever did. He had donned a pair of fresh slacks, as well as the Tufts University sweatshirt that he had purchased during Ryan’s senior year of college. Then he had driven out to meet the other man as scheduled.

Traffic had been fine, since Pilot Ridge was a small town. And soon enough, he’d entered the restaurant. It was easy to find the younger man, and he had walked right to him, after explaining that he was with someone who had already been seated.

He offered Josef a smile, in addition to the handshake. “You’re quite welcome. Josh is fine, in the midst of the holiday season.”

Not the Christmas holiday, but the holiday season nonetheless.

[Josef Muller]

Compared to Sean, Josef felt dressed down. But he was used to that particular sensation around other people, especially the telepath, and it no longer bothered him. He liked his jeans and t-shirts, felt most comfortable in them, and nothing was going to change that. He had also decided to ignore the age gap. It wasn’t insignificant, but they were both in similar places in their lives, and he’d never been very good at it anyways, even when he was younger.

But because Josef could never manage to stop himself from saying what was on his mind, he couldn’t help asking with a slight grin, “Sean, do you owe a pair of jeans? I admire your tastes in clothes, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in something…entirely casual. Or sweatpants? Well, in any case.” He shrugged, realizing he was being rather silly, and his grin flickered into a far more faint and somewhat embarrassed smile. “I admire your wardrobe. I’m glad to hear he’s doing well, in spite of the holidays. I’ve been trying to figure out what to buy my niece for months now. Everything I find appropriate she’d find dull, and everything she would like would appall my sister. It’s a mess.” He shook his head ruefully. “I hope she hasn’t bothered you too much.” There was always that disclaimer with Harmony. It was becoming as natural as breathing these days.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean slid into the seat across from Josef when their handshake ended. As soon as the younger man asked the question, a smile crossed his lips, and he chuckled softly. “I own a pair of jeans.” They were bellbottoms, remnants from college and a young man he’d once been. They weren’t particularly flattering on his particular body shape at his present age, which was why he didn’t wear them frequently. But in an appropriate venue, such as a nightclub, or if Josh requested he do so, then he wore them. “And I even have sweatpants.”

Though he only wore those around the house or when he found time to jog around the neighborhood. Nobody outside of his home needed to see him in those.

The telepath picked up the menu to peruse, since there were options and he was a bit hungry. Still, when Josef changed topics to his niece, he lifted his eyes, sympathy in his eyes for the younger man.

Shopping for Harmony must be difficult. He could only imagine what she wanted for Christmas. Ryan had been difficult enough at that age, although for different reasons, and his nephew was so pleasant and amiable.

“She needs a bit of polishing,” Sean said diplomatically. One couldn’t describe her attitude as pleasant, although the fact that she was at Hammel when she didn’t want to be compounded her underlying outlook. As did the fact that she was at a difficult age for everyone. She could grow out of it.

And become Cobalt Weaver.

[Josef Muller]

“Yes, but I bet you wear them far less often than I do.” Josef couldn’t help himself from smiling, the corners of his dark eyes crinkling up as well. “Now I own two pairs of slacks, and the only reason I can wear them at all is because I tend to skip meals and I happen to have some skills at sewing.” It was the only way he’d managed to redo the seams. His mother and father had both believed that he ought to be able to care and repair for things himself. His mother had done this because she’d given up on him ever having a girl who could do it, and his father had just viewed that it was sensible anyways.

“One day,” he had told his son in his thick German accent, “you will not have the money or the time or the interest in buying new clothes. This is why you should know how to fix and make your own. All men should. It gives women less power too.”

It was one of the few candid moments they’d had.

Josef was used to the sympathy in another’s eyes when he brought up Harmony. It was normal, and considering her behavior, he wished he could be more surprised by it. Unfortunately, he really wasn’t. Instead he just smiled faintly at Sean’s comment. “That’s very generous of you, Sean,” he said, although he probably would’ve been more amused had he brought up Cobalt. “If only I knew how to do it. Or at least persuade my sister that it’s not all my doing. Anyways.” He rolled his eyes. “I hear Josh’s niece is, ah, coming to Hammel…?” He still had some contacts among the recruiters.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean also had sewing skills, although not to the same extent that his sister had. When Sean needed his clothing altered, he took it to the dry cleaner. When he needed to do minor mending, he could do it himself; that was what the combined efforts of the Boy Scouts and Hammel’s home economics program had taught him. “My jeans only still exist because I’ve had them altered over the years.” Several times, in fact, to keep up with both the typical wear and tear of decades of use, as well as with his ever-changing physique.

News had a manner of traveling quickly in a town as small as Pilot Ridge, particularly with how tightly-knit Hammel could be. Even those who were no longer at Hammel could access information quickly if they had the right contacts, as Josef did. While Abigail didn’t have Josh’s surname (as she was the daughter of his younger sister, as opposed to his older brother), their relationship was easily discoverable.

The telepath nodded in affirmation. “She is, with the new semester. It should be interesting.”

Abigail was nothing like Harmony, in fact she was the teleporter’s polar opposite in many ways. Thus, any encounters with her had always been pleasant, and would remain so. Although Sean was also aware that Abigail had developed empathy, which was not an easy power to manage with Josh. Or at Hammel.

It would be a learning experience.

[Josef Muller]

Josef’s lips twitched into another smile. “I think I could say the same for my suit.” Although lately it had gone in instead of out—well, except around the shoulders. When he had first begun the business, he had not thought it would put him into better shape than he had been in college. It nearly had, but unfortunately, with more injuries to accompany it. At least the broken bones were finally healing—he only needed some tape for his ribs and wrist now, and he was back to teaching classes by himself once more.

He nodded. He hadn’t heard anything about her power yet, only that she was included in the school. But he knew of empathy, having learned quite a bit as Ann told him some of her difficulties, and he thought it was one of the more challenging powers. With his, all he had to worry about was passing out or forgetting how to ride a bicycle. It had a low impact on his day-to-day existence.

“I hope she finds her place,” he said. “But I’m sure she will. She has family in town to support her, at least.” He smiled ruefully. “And I’ll try to keep Harmony away from her. I doubt an outright command would work, so I’ll try telling her she’s just like her mother.” He sighed. “That should work. I wish I knew how to figure that girl out.”

And he had to do was try to tell her that the boyfriend she’d never met—had complained about never meeting—was gone. His expression became thoughtful and, for a moment, sad, but then switched back with its usual rapidity to a blank, friendly mask.

“Think you’re ready to order?” he asked instead.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded in agreement, a soft, wistful sigh escaped his lips. “So do I.” It could be an uphill battle, since manifestation was never easy, regardless of powers; but empathy certainly made it all the more difficult. As did being a teenage girl at Abigail’s age. And having to move to another part of the country, away from her parents and siblings.

But she did have factors in her favor; the Bernstein family was affectionate and devoted. Her parents would keep in constant contact and would visit as often as possible; moreover they would continue to love her. Additionally, her grandmother was nearby; her grandfather as well, but given Bobby Bernstein’s fragile health, Sean didn’t count him as a source of support. And she had her Uncle Josh, and full run of the telepath’s house since there had been family debate about whether she would live in the dorms.

He offered the younger man an appreciative smile. “Thank you for that.” Truly, he did appreciate any amount of distance put between Abigail and Harmony. Josh’s niece would be a target for Harmony’s attitude, and as a sensitive girl, and a newly-manifested empath, Harmony was the last person who should be around Abigail. At all.

The psychiatrist then nodded. He’d had a chance to study the menu for a few minutes, and he had an idea of what he wanted to eat. “I’m fine to order if you are.”

He would wait until they had ordered to remark on some of what he’d overheard from his friend’s mind.

[Josef Muller]

Josef noticed the sigh and a faint smile twitched up the corners of his mouth. “I think if anyone were to be capable of helping her out, it would be you and Josh. Mind, I don’t have much experience with doing it well, so maybe I’m not the one you should be listening to.” He chuckled softly, shook his head to dismiss the idea, then leaned back in his seat. “But if it helps to keep Harmony away, I’m more than happy to give it a shot. But…” Now it was his turn to sigh, “I can’t give you any guarantees.”

He nodded and hailed the waiter. He ordered a fairly heavy lunch, as sometimes he had to stay late to work and he was working out enough to allow him to buy a large lunch. In truth, it was just a sandwich or something. He got it almost every time. It was consistent, and he liked that, and it was also good. For now, he’d settle for it. Once Sean had ordered, he took a sip of his coffee.

“Any plans for the holidays? Are you seeing family?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“The promise helps,” Sean informed his younger friend. The notion that someone else, not affiliated with staff, might provide an additional barrier between Harmony’s attitude, personality, and demeanor, and Abigail was helpful on its own. Even if Josef didn’t see the same value that Sean did.

The telepath’s order was lighter: half a turkey club sandwich and a bowl of potato and leek soup, in addition to a cup of coffee. Coffee would aid him in getting through the rest of the day.

Sean shook his head at the question. He didn’t make a production of the holidays, not the way that Josh did and certainly not the way that James did. Moreover, his family situation was less than ideal, and he had nobody to visit.

“Josh and I are celebrating Hanukkah as it comes. For Christmas, we’ll probably go over to the Campbells’ house to share in their festivities.”

As they had last year. And as Sean had done for the past several years; he found comfort in the tradition, even if he was more laid back about what happened. There would be children there to celebrate with, which made the holidays worthwhile.

“I hope to see my nephew around New Year’s,” he added, and a smile touched his lips at the thought. “And what are your plans? Are you going out to visit your sister and bringing Harmony in tow?” Since Josef had mentioned presents of which his sister might not approve, it was a logical deduction.

[Josef Muller]

Josef shrugged and smiled wryly. “Thanks. Worst case, I’ll just drag her to my work a few times. That should work.” He chuckled softly, then took another sip of the coffee, which was warm and helped cover up the sleep he hadn’t been getting as of late.

For a moment, he wanted to inquire about the Hanukkah, because although he knew Josh was Jewish, he had recalled Sean as being a somewhat lapsed Catholic--but Sean was likely being supportive. The two seemed happy, although if he recalled correctly, the two hadn’t been…steadily together when he’d arrived, or even when he’d been younger. He liked Sean a lot, but he was hesitant to get into his personal life. From what he could tell, the man was very open about things, but he wasn’t sure if they were that open. There was still the age gap, for one, which had been much more…obvious when Josef had been younger. At least it had been to him, but perhaps not to others…? Ah, well. He wasn’t very good at personal affairs anyways.

“Sounds very rewarding,” he said. “Good. Uh.” He lowered the cup from his lips as Sean asked the question, and blinked, clearly taken aback. “I hadn’t thought about it. I haven’t seen my sister in a very, very long time. I suppose I should ask Harmony.” Not that she’d give him a good response. Well, he hadn’t considered this at all, and he was not going to go into how the thought of seeing Helene made his stomach churn. “In truth, I don’t have any plans.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

When the waiter returned with his coffee, Sean offered him a smile and his gratitude, before reaching for the milk and sugar to begin mixing in.

The telepath overheard the thought about his personal life. He was grateful to Josef for that, primarily because it made the younger man one of their few mutual friends who hadn’t found it necessary to insert himself into their long and complicated history together. Sean was sure that he would remember the intervention until he could no longer remember his own name.

But there was no reason to focus on that. Instead, he would focus on the topic at hand, which involved holiday plans. If Josef was curious about Chanukah, he knew that Josh would be happy to explain his traditions. The attorney was quite proud of his heritage.

The telepath’s expression became sympathetic as Josef explained the situation. It sounded akin to Sean’s relationship with his sister, if Ryan was younger and had manifested meta-human abilities. That made the holiday season difficult, and he immediately empathized. “You know James and Chase, don’t you?” He knew that Josef had been to some get-togethers where the Campbell adults had also attended, but he wanted to make certain that Josef would recognize the names.

[Josef Muller]

It wasn’t as if Josef could comment on Sean and Josh’s relationships. He doubted he could use both hands to count the amount of times he’d fallen in love and, subsequently, out of it. He’d made some spectacularly poor choices in his past. As far as he could see, Josh and Sean had taken some time getting there, but at least they’d largely spent time with each other.

Although Josef was somewhat interested in Hanukkah traditions, he was unlikely to ask about it. He was not particularly invested in any faith. He’d been a Lutheran once, because it was the only religion his father had practiced. His mother had been a Methodist, he thought, but she’d converted. They’d gone to church, but Josef remembered very little of the ceremonies. He tended to nod off in the middle of them.

He was grateful for the sympathy on the other man’s face, though. But he felt he had to clarify. “She isn’t that bad, but I…made the mistake of saying some awful things to her, once. And her back. It is hard to come back from that. Anyways.” He waved it off again, then nodded. “Yes, I do. Well, I’ve met them once or twice. Why do you ask?”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean frowned in sympathy and nodded to convey his understanding. He certainly had experience there, although on the opposite side. The night of his falling out with Kathleen, she had spoken to him in a way that nobody deserved. It had been a slow burn, the eventual outburst seemed almost inevitable in hindsight. Still, it had hurt to hear that from his baby sister.

Of course, Josef’s situation with his sister differed there, in that Kathleen had displayed no remorse since their falling out. She had never apologized; she had never attempted to apologize or to mend the rift. Yet she still called occasionally (and infrequently), primarily to vent to him as though he was sympathetic to her prejudices.

There was a reason that he hadn’t tried to mend the rift either.

Once the cream and sugar had been stirred into his coffee, he brought the mug to his lips to sip. “That’s very difficult,” he offered, since there was little else to say without delving into specifics. Sean didn’t think that Josef would appreciate that.

Instead, he switched back to the subject of Christmas. “I spend my Christmas day with them and their family. I could ask if you could come too; they have a large spread, so I don’t think they’d mind. But only if you wanted to, of course.”

[Josef Muller]

Josef would freely admit that he was pretty hard on himself, but he knew that particular fight—and the continuing fallout—had been both of their faults. The continued lack of contact? Still created by both. He had tried to apologize to Helene before his wedding, but with no success. He’d tried to talk to her after as well, but it was only when Harmony had come to school that she’d begun calling him with any regularity at all. They were both stubborn and had a tendency to yell while around each other. It was not a good combination.

He shrugged. “I’m sure we all have relatives like that, and Helene and I were never on good terms even when we were kids. I don’t fret about it too much.” A lie, but he had a lot of those. One day, he’d like to be closer to his family. Including Harmony. And wasn’t that going to be a challenge.

“Oh.” He blinked, clearly startled by the offer. “Ah. That’s very kind of you. I might try to see if I can spend some time with Harmony. If she’s willing. But if you could ask, I’d appreciate it a great deal. Is that a…normal tradition with you and the Campbells?” Hopefully, he’d gotten over the couldn’t-handle-other-couples phase. He’d admit he’d had a hard time with Hart and Sloane, and that hadn’t been fair to either.