Time Warp: Give up Gravity to Feel (Mai)

[Mai Adaire]

A flicker of change in the air, a gradual shift in gravity began to surface around the woman in grief. Loose objects in the room would slowly lift in the air, rising and dipping without any decision on where they were deciding to float. To Valentia, the feeling would be an uplifting weightlessness in her stomach, but remaining grounded. The cause in the center of the gravitational vortex continued to cry into her scarf, unable to even lift her head.

The world could fall away.
The world would crumble around her and she would not care.

“Th-That idiot!” An anguished cry from the one without light. “Why didn’t the world just die with him! Then I…wouldn’t…have to feel so…”

Maiella cried into her scarf once more. The gravity in the room pushed and pulled, the walls expanding and contracting – a very dangerous situation to an unstable building as it was. The strength of her grief was gradually expanding with every shedding of tears.

“Why did he have to be so nice to me? So supportive!? After...everything! After everything I knew fell apart, after everyone I knew left me behind...he continued to reach his hand to me.”

The woman shook her head, momentarily at a loss for words. She never even had a chance to really thank him for that support, for it had always been unspoken between them. The words to speak would return after a moment of thought, yet the erratic gravity around her broken form does not cease.

“I believed every word from him…every word. Every muse about the mind and body’s alliance, every critique, every wise word! I’d soak up every word and adopt it as truth. I even…” A soft sob escapes her. “Believed him when he told me to take the discharge orders, to take them as…as a change in the wind. To use my talents where it was needed. And I believed him. I made it the absolute truth.”

Maiella had believed in the lie, for it was kinder than the harsher truth of no longer being necessary. Kinder than being a burden, than failing to maintain the high standards that finally caught up to her. He was always so kind to her, strict and demanding of her, but nothing more than the best. Most of all, he had no reason to be so supportive of someone like her, other than he was her dear mentor.

“Why did I have to love that wonderful idiot.”

The gravity around her became more erratic, the loose objects wavered unsteadily in the air and the building itself began to shudder, shudder at the very notion that sunshine itself was shedding such painful tears. There were small shouts of surprise and worry from the other room, but unable to reach past the woman in deep grief.

[Valentia de la Torres]

The shift in gravity wasn't something she hadn't experienced before, and so Valentia stood stagnant and withstood it, even as idle things were tossed about the space to flippantly.

Maiella poured her heart out onto the floor in front of the Chilean-born Russian she hadn't so much as looked at in years. Valentia assumed none of it was meant for her - after all, Maiella had all but told her she should leave. And despite her response, she hadn't been told what to do. So she stood, uncomfortable in the vortex of gravity and wondered what to do with herself now. Should she listen? Should she pay more attention? Emotional support was never her forte.

She wasn't built to be a lifeline.

"Because... You never learn." Valentia said quietly, almost stubbornly. "They work to push you in the right direction. Their direction. And if you falter to admiration along the way, you have not taken the time to learn what was right in front of you."

She stopped momentarily to clear her throat, her hands curling into fists and releasing - all within the safety of her pockets. "We all die."

And personal connections beyond that in a military life were as useless as they seemed.

[Mai Adaire]

The gravity around Maiella slowly ceased. Whether it was Valentia's presence still in the room or the realization of the building's instability dawned on her. The world cannot fall away and fall to ruin, as much as part of her wanted it to. The crushing feel remained in her chest, but she sat upright, leaning back against the wall. Tears still fell, her cheeks reddened grief, but Mai had stopped sobbing at least.

If her mentor had seen her now...ah, the dummy would have hugged her with one arm and simply told her don't be foolish, Peri.

Everyone dies.

A bite of her lip. She would never allow anyone but him to call her by that name. That horrendous and stupid nickname! Just him, only he had managed to make that name sound like music rather than a snicker,managed to make her feel needed. Now and never again will she hear him. Never she could live knowing that Maiella could try and fail and he would still offer his hand to her. And that person was gone now, completely gone.

"...Thank you so much, Velli." A wipe of her eyes with her scarf. A little light seemed to return to her face, if just a tiny ray bursting stubbornly through clouds. "If I had to hear it from anyone, I'm glad it was you...really. I know that this was a huge awkward moment for you."

Despite how much that had been a punch to the gut, how quickly it had been such a happy occasion to a sad one.
No, that was not quite right to say. It was a sad occasion no matter how it started.

"It had to be difficult...you didn't even have to do such a thing. But, you have a better heart than most I ever met."

But it meant the world to her that someone still had the heart to actually tell her. How much worse it would have been to blissfully be unaware of the passing of that wonderful person in her life? It certainly would have happened.

"I'm probably not allowed to go to the funeral either." The woman says softly, linking her fingers within the bright blue folds of her tunic. Silence falls over the woman, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

A spark, something flickers in her bright blue eyes. Focus! The brunette rose to her feet, the flutter of her tunic and her scarf audible with her nimble movements. In one of the poor excuses of a closet, she rummaged and cleared out a single traveling bag. Maiella began stuffing the bag with whatever clothing of hers she could find, mumbling to herself.

Numbers.
An address?

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia replied with a simple roll of her shoulders - not quite a shrug. How could she know this was awkward? They hadn't spoken in so long. And even now, the conversation had been so short and to the point. Valentia had changed. Perhaps not for the better. But she didn't find the delivery of bad news awkward.

"I imagine he would have wanted you to know." She replied finally. She didn't know him very well, but she figured the fact remained. Deserter or not, they were connected. Or so she assumed.

To the next question, she pressed her lips into a thoughtful line, her eyebrows furrowing. It wasn't a question she rightly knew the answer to. But again, the assumption was probably clear. "I believe it will be a military funeral." Valentia likely wouldn't attend, but Manya would. Those in higher ranks would pay their respects to him and his family.

She watched as the other woman flippantly started moving around the space like a trapped bird, muttering small fragments aloud. "What do you need?"

[Mai Adaire]

Maiella stopped her movement at Valentia's question. She had pushed the matter far down inside of her. When she had left the life, there had been certainty that all possibility of crossing paths with a certain matter would have evaporated. But things were never that simple.

"I need to go back."

Words spoken very gingerly. Returning to Russia, but not for the obvious reasons. It will be a military funeral, she would simply have to view his final resting place on her own. Her return was something else, a matter she had never spoken of to anyone. Erik was a master at keeping his private life and military matters separate, so it had been much surprising when it happened.

She was only happen that it had occurred in a phone conversation and not in front of the eyes of others. More failures to add to the pile.

Maiella turned to her friend, her tears having dried up with the notion of resolve. A bittersweet smile briefly crossed her face before she released an explanation.

"I had promised that I...would see his wife."

Those words pass her lips and the daggers physically dig a little deeper despite her fragile cheer. Not only to see the resting place of her beloved mentor, but the light in his life brighter than she'd ever be. The brunette promptly shoves any further thoughts of the matter as far as she could, reciting the address to herself in recovery, and a second mumbling of a mental note, a Hindi name.

"So, if you don't mind my company for the way back at least..." Tentative, because she would leave it up to Vel this time. Maybe the only time where she didn't force her presence on her.

[Valentia de la Torres]

Valentia's eyes widened slightly, hoping Maiella had no intention of trying to pierce the list for the funeral. She was worse than an Outsider to those people. But no, Valentia doubted she would be so foolish, even if she was blinded by her emotional recall.

His wife? Valentia's eyebrows furrowed.

"I do not mind the company." She said absently - she could just as easily ignore her. Ill feelings were still present, though Valentia bit them back given the context.

But she was confused. And as openly confused as her well-trained face would allow. "Why would you want to see his wife?"