Eggshells: Room 405 (AJ/Open)

[Alyssa Ramius]

Creak.
A wince escaped her lips. Why must such insignificant sounds bounce in volume when TRYING to be discreet?

Alyssa peered from her room to be certain there were no other bodies lingering. Silence, the calm entity that beckoned her, drew her from the safety of her room. Brown eyes shifted and then she entered the shared common room. She could recall lively conversations leaning against her door - they honestly seem so fun to listen to through the entirety of her time at Hammel.

If she had been so certain that she would not somehow make a fool of her self, she would have loved to join in!

Not why the girl had emerged, however. The blonde moved with purpose, choosing a seat so that her back faced the wall. She wanted to try, she had told her dear trainer that she would not give up. Graduation was a goal now, something to strive for.

But first.

Alyssa leaned back and closed her eyes. Little by little, her senses begin to fall away from her: she could feel the faintest snap at the loss of eyesight, slow fading of the tactile feel chair and the loss of awareness of her clothing. By nature of the body lacking senses, the falling of one world is replaced with another, a monochromatic after-image of the with brightened highlights of varying pulsing colors.

Loneliness in a gorgeous world.

For the moment.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

I'm tired of the eggshells we've been walking on, we've been here for far too long.
Lyrics credited to Hawk Nelson

AJ's dorm room, surprisingly, was one of the places she felt most at ease. Maybe it was because she felt she could relate to Alyssa. The two of them weren't really close, because they both really tried to stay away from people because of their powers. But they had that in common and AJ tried a thousand times to try to strike up a conversation with the blonde. Maybe they could lean on each other...

She was coming back from the courtyard where she'd finished yet another novel from the library when she went through the common room and spotted the familiar head of blonde hair. Alyssa had her eyes closed and her face looked serene, something AJ wanted to feel. Maybe now wasn't the best time to strike up a conversation. She knew Alyssa's power and that she was probably working on controlling it. She also meant to talk to her about trainers...because AJ badly needed one.

So, instead, she sat down on the sofa and put her hands in her lap.

[Alyssa Ramius]

The sounds from a roommate bled into the strange world through her hearing. The edges of the monochrome furniture glows bright and flickers like Christmas lights attending rave. The shadows and light that fall upon the furniture were inverted, filled with diamond patterns. All the girl, the only object retaining her realism and colors, observed in calm.

But a change was in the air.

Alyssa's serenity flicked - the world was trying to fill in the blanks of the presence. However, not knowing who it was just yet formed a shapeless shroud with a blank face and long cascades of wavy hair, the slight creak of the sofa as the entity sits nearby.

And it watched her, unreadable.

Alyssa jolts herself from the altered state, her eyes flew open and all at once, the world returns as it was. She could feel the material of the couch beneath her fingers, the comfortable temperature of the room was tangible again.

With one small small exception. Because why would a simple exercise go right for her today?

"Ah...oh no..."

A small nervous tremble escapes her lips as Alyssa is glancing around the room. Bright brown eyes were wide open, but they pass over the other girl present in the room. Worry was visible on her face. She motioned to move but remained seated rigid in the chair. Knowing her luck, she would trip over something or bump into the girl in the room with her!

"Um...please don't take any offense to my asking, but who is here at the moment?"

She asked, the end of her sentence softening. The one time she's out in the open with apparent company and of course, her power decides to backfire on her!

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"It's just me Alyssa! AJ," she said when her roommate asked. Alyssa was probably nervous somebody was watching her and it could be anybody. AJ realized she probably should have said something the moment she walked into the room, although she was still trying to understand Alyssa's power.

It was almost scary. Her eyes were wide open, searching the room, but she couldn't see AJ. She couldn't imagine how scary that was for Alyssa, or maybe she was used to it. But losing your senses...that seemed equivalent to death in AJ's point of view.

"Sorry..." she mumbled. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa's expression lit up in recognition. AJ, the sweet white lilac of a roommate who's shyness was comparable to her own. The brunette was one that Alyssa could find herself gravitating towards, but retract. What if she ended up zapping out her sight even on accident? Her eyes would now settle, pinpointed where AJ was now that she spoke. At least her other senses seem to take up the slack when one goes missing.

"Ah, AJ, my apologies. This wasn't your doing."

A wave of her hand in front of her eyes. Nope, still can't see it, but she certainly could felt the air from the movement.

"This...um,has actually been happening a lot more often than I would like. I would be lying to say it isn't annoying. Nothing to worry about though."

The nonchalance must be jarring considering the situation! The frequency actually did worry Alyssa, but she'd rather not have someone worry over her, over something that could not be helped. It was something her body adjusted to, but would avoid transferring to others whenever possible. Besides, she had full faith in the coming year to have better grasp on this ability! Alyssa shut her eyes and opens them, trying to will her eyesight to return.

"Nope...looks like it'll be a while...Everything all right on your end?"

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"I understand," AJ told Alyssa, which she did all too well. Things going wrong with her power was nothing new. Her sight seemed to be gone, which worried AJ slightly as she moved closer to the girl, but Alyssa didn't seem worried, or at least she was trying to seem as if she wasn't. Wasn't she scared? AJ knew she would be if her senses were just rendered useless all of a sudden, but Alyssa seemed used to it, and AJ guessed she couldn't blame her.

"Everything's fine," she chimed. She knew that Alyssa was just checking to make sure she hadn't zapped anyway any of her senses on accident. Personally, AJ thought Alyssa had pretty good control over her power, at least in comparison to herself.

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa closed her eyes once more. This time there is a small snap akin to a rubber band, audible from deep inside the darkness. That may have been a good sound to her but it would probably chill anyone else who heard it to the bone. No one should be able to hear the minute sounds of their own body like that.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know we haven't been able to really talk to each other...ever." The blonde girl's voice softened at the last word. A little regret may have seeped into the sentiment, that she didn't try harder to at least reach out to her roommate. She seemed so nice!

Alyssa opened her eyes this time and sighed in relief. Eyesight returned! "Oh thank goodness, that was a little dodgey for a minute!"

And then her shoulders slumped and good cheer gave way quickly as it dawned on her once more. No graduation, another year of intense training.

"Ah...oh right...that's why I'm still here."

Alyssa had to shake off the melancholy, remembering that she had a technical junior watching her. So she straightened her back and smiled.

"AJ, would you like some tea? I was going to make some before my eyesight decided not to return with me."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"I'm sure," AJ told her, trying to reassure her roommate. Sure, they hadn't talked a lot, but that's because they were both so nervous of hurting each other. "I know...we haven't, but that doesn't mean we're not friends or we...can't be. You know?" It's not like Alyssa had ignored her or anything. They both just had kept things casual and stuff, just being roommates, but AJ couldn't deny that she needed people to talk to.

"You can see now?" she asked, hoping that she could, although AJ couldn't tell even if the blonde's eyes were open. She also didnt' really know what Alyssa was talking about, about why she was still here.

"Oh, uhm, of course!" Tea was one of the few things in life that could calm AJ.

[Alyssa Ramius]

Indeed she could, as long as her eyesight works now, she won’t end up being foolish in front of company by tripping…or worse. In fact she would stand up and start to circle behind the couch to enter her room.

“Oh, good!” She’d clap her hands in delight at the girl’s reply, however, she would have made tea whether AJ said agreed or refused. It just would be more pleasant with company. “My mother sent some high quality earl gray over, so decided to give it a try.”

The blonde crosses the threshold of her room to retrieve her kettle from the hotplate. A moment now alone, a strong wave of apprehension washes over her. Good god, the girl must think she was so weird! Why couldn’t Alyssa think of something better to say, or at least something more interesting!? That’s not to discount her guest’s own shyness, but still. Being the older student, Alyssa had the feeling that maybe more effort should be placed into being more graceful.

Breathe, Alyssa! Just keep it together!

A shake of her head and mentally pushing down her thoughts, Alyssa picked up the warmed kettle and chose a pair of simple china with lovely flowers looping around the cups. She’d return to the room to serve herself and her guest some fine tea. The cup with cute peonies would be AJ's, filled to the most proper line.

“S-sorry if I took so long.”

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ smiled softly at Alyssa as she clapped her hands excitedly and ran off to go make tea. She'd always felt some sort of an emotional connection with her roommate, but didn't really know how to talk to her. Maybe the problem was that they both didn't know how.

It had been a while since she'd had tea and she could use some after all of the emotions building up lately and maybe just maybe her and Alyssa could get to talking. The girl was older than her and AJ was sure she was supposed to have graduated, yet she was still there at Hammel. She didn't want to press her roommate as maybe it was a sensitive subject, but she did want to be there for her.

"Don't worry about it," she'd said when Alyssa was back carrying the tea cups.

[Alyssa Ramius]

“I do worry…simply because I’m not one for having much in affable grace.”

Alyssa, having served AJ first, poured herself some tea with a visible amount of calm elegance, far from being her first time in serving tea to a guest. One gets the feeling that the pair should be sitting at an exquisite table with a tray of sweets to complement the choice of tea while a soft piano piece wafts through the room. The blonde offers the girl a smile that tried not to appear as nervous as she really was, trying to assemble something of interest to say.

“You don’t seem to be one to make waves either.” Alyssa would fall silent, observing the girl a moment in quiet but contemplative stare. Her gaze dips and words poured from her mouth with the same grace as tea from a pot.

“It’s strange. Not you generally but your energy...it’s one that craves for connection. Just…” A sigh escapes her, allowing a moment to connect her thoughts. “You refrain...and you don’t mean to, I don’t think so at least.”

Alyssa suddenly stops speaking. A look of worry crosses her face before she lifts the cup to her lips to stop herself from saying more – why had she chosen at this very moment to speak such strange words all of a sudden? The earl gray tea did little to ease her frayed nerves. Her roommate could not possibly think her sane at this moment!

“S-sorry…I don’t mean to assume so much.” Maybe the girl saw a little of her own self in AJ, but it was not polite to assume either way.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"Either am I," AJ agreed, wrapping her hands around the warm tea cup. She smiled softly back at Alyssa. Maybe they could actually have a conversation now. They were roommates after all.

And then Alyssa began talking first and AJ listened intently, nodding at how dead on Alyssa actually was. "No...it's fine," she assured her, slowly looking over at her as she lowered the tea cup from her lips. "I don't make waves and it's because I try not to. I do refrain and I mean to, but I don't want to," she looked down at her hands, entwined around the tea cup. "I don't trust myself...around people. With my power, I mean." It wasn't that she didn't like people or didn't want to talk to them as much as it was that she was afraid of manipulating them.

"You...you're wary of people because you're afraid of depriving them of their senses...which I can understand. You don't want to scare anybody. I don't want to manipulate anybody." It was similar, really.

[Alyssa Ramius]

Alyssa felt thankful wave wash over her. Her roommate did not question how Alyssa was able to figure the girl out with little more than a quiet observation. Strange things happened when Alyssa comes from the altered state back into the real world. Strange images, strange visions, and even stranger aftereffects. While not all were pleasant, a part of her was grateful no one could see what she can.

However, she was pleasantly surprised herself of AJ's insight, enough that the worry of being seen as odd slipped away into an tangled mess of new worries: oh god, was she that transparent?! No, that ease of truth would come with the girl's words: fear. The kind that seeps into the cracks and festers, the fear of hurting someone without meaning to. The blonde closes her eyes, recalling the first time her own powers appeared.

How unpleasant.
Monstrous.
And better to lock herself away.

"It would really frighten someone to suddenly lose a sense or two. In the absence of certain senses, the brain begins to create stimuli to cope with the losses. A lot of times, when done under controlled circumstances...one hallucinates." A small shake of her head.

"Not always pleasantly. So it seems easier to hide away."

Meaning it was just as much an option it was for AJ to lock herself away. Two very different abilities with similar melancholic outcomes. At least she had two people she could count on, both having known her abilities, but not seeking her company any less. But AJ...she was not sure the girl had that and the very thought made the girl well up faintly in sadness.

"...Even so, locking yourself away is just as lonesome, hmn?" A sip of tea to soothe her throat. "I highly suggest obtaining a trainer. Someone you can have rapport with to help with unique abilities."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

Alyssa spoke so...diligently, as if she was answering a question when being called on in class. Her description was more scientific than emotional, and it worried AJ. She wondered if that's how Alyssa coped. Instead of projecting feelings into what she was saying, she remained objective and spewed out facts. Did it work? "It always seems easier to hide away," she agreed, with a sad nod of herself. Dealing with a power that was more of a nuisance was a lot of work and emotionally and mentally exhausting.

"I guess....hiding away and...being around people still makes me feel lonely, yes. Because when I'm around others, I try not to be there, like I try to disinterest them. Nobody wants to get close to me and I don't blame them." She took a sip of her tea and savored the taste. "A trainer...I know I need one. I'm working on it." Honestly, she just didn't know who could handle her.

[Alyssa Ramius]

A trainer...who would be able to handle ability like AJ's? It was an unusual ability, but still, there had to be someone who'd be able to handle it, just like she had found someone of her own. Alyssa sipped her tea, the quickest flash of a thought to her own trainer – how that even happened was quite different. Alyssa was better for having trained under Valentia, but her strictness...it would probably scare the poor sweet girl in front of her.

“I'd refer you to my own, but she’s um…strict." The words that should describe Vel’s sort of training failed at her lips – strict was a kindest term for it. Yeah, maybe it was better for her to seek someone on her own. Alyssa sets her teacup down on the tiny cube of a coffee table.

"I suggest you set up some time to meet with a few of them. The trainers here are very versatile and helpful; I cannot imagine that someone, anyone here will be unable to help you.”

She laced her fingers on her lap, noting the warmth left behind from touching her teacup. What more could she say to the girl that would not have the feel of being a lie? Alyssa could encourage others to her heart’s content but it would mean nothing considering her own fear and gloomy view of herself.

“We should support each other, if you're inclined. If you try your best to build trust and rapport with others, then I’ll try just as hard to do the same. Someone like you shouldn't have to be alone, AJ. Besides…”

A small smile crosses her face. Pure gratefulness: “There always exist someone who won’t push you away because of what you can do. Those are the ones to hold on to.”