Unintentional hazing (Benton)

[Benton Barrett]

When the other boy’s hand wrapped around his arm, he jumped, clearly startled by the sudden contact. He wasn’t sure how to handle it – though they had just proved that it wasn’t an immediate thing, Benny was still trying to process that. The younger boy sucked in a breath, as he looked up at Koty, who was still talking as though he hadn’t just done that. His focused was split – the hand, and the words, both of them were vying for his consciousness. “I… uh…” He blinked, uncertainly, though Koty was holding his gaze.

The situation was a little unnerving – but the conversation was winning out. He listened as Koty explained how his powers had come to fruition – how he’d become privy to so many lifetimes. He wanted to ask whether his friend was okay, he wanted to ask whether he lived with his dad here at Hammel. More than that, he wanted to ask why it was so easy for him to just come here, as though it were easy.

Of course – it might be easier if someone who he called close was here – his mentor. The use of the word ‘sensei’ was a bit on the weird side, but only in the sense that Benny wasn’t used to hearing it in common conversation. It was something reserved for teenage mutant ninja turtles, not polite conversation.

Finally, the other boy let go of him, and he took his arm back, biting his lip. He hadn’t been able to keep his focus on his arm, which was probably not a terrible thing – provided Koty was okay. As far as his power was concerned – there’d be nothing strange for the older boy to feel. No difference in his hand’s temperature, nothing that would indicate Benny’s power had come anywhere near him.

“Was your friend okay?” He asked, his voice quiet despite himself. Benny put his hand back in his pocket, and had to take a shuddering breath. What should he tell him? Koty had lived a life that was far more… worth telling than Benny. His own personal traumas… his own personal issues? He couldn’t bring them to bear. He wasn’t capable of saying those things out loud, let alone… to someone else.

“There’s not much to my life. Before I became… this… I lived a normal life. I like soccer, I had a few good friends. I have a younger sister who hopefully will just stay my sister, and not be forced into something like this. But I don’t know how any of this really works.” He didn’t mention his dreams, or his biological father… or anything like that. No, rather, he pushed it under the covers. He wasn’t used to just up and speaking about issues, even though the offer was there.

“Thank you for the offer. I’ll… keep it in mind.” He added, because he wasn’t going to turn him down. “I’m not good at sharing deep stuff, though.” Which might even explain the panic attacks, who knew?

[Koty Hura]

"My friend was assigned a counselor and her parents took her on a vacation.. To my knowledge she is doing much, much better. I have not spoken with her in some time, but I believe she was as appreciative of my intervention as she was unnerved and put off by it. That is my effect on the world, as I understand it. Destined to be appreciated and avoided by those who cross my path in the way that she did." In other words, a life saved, a friend lost tough with. The girl had been both grateful that she had been forced into getting help, and resentful that she had been forced into it at the same time.. The friendship had never been the same since, but Koty felt that her continued existence was well worth the cost of their friendship.. It was either selfless of him, or a coping mechanism. Hard to tell.

"In reference to my grasping your arm, I apologize. However, either your lack of attention or these simple cotton gloves were enough to protect me from your ability. This is something you should investigate further at your convenience. In reference to your life before your manifestation.. Each of us know only what we have experienced. Our highest highs and our lowest lows are not to be compared to others.. I have not had harder times than you, you have no had harder times than me.. We have both simply had easy and hard times. To judge your life based on another's is.. fruitless. We each bear the weight we are given as though it is the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is selfish and self-destructive and.. unwise to justify things on how hard we each believe our lives have been."

Koty's philosophy, apparently. Or one of them. Or a part of the whole.. or what seemed relevant at the time? Regardless, some deep stuff there if Benton happened to dwell on it at some point. In a way Koty was ensuring the boy that he felt neither superior nor inferior to him because of their respective pasts.

"I have no siblings and.. I am unsure if I have anyone I could rightfully call a good friend. I am glad that despite the changed you have been forced to adapt to, you can at least look back on good times.. My offer is open-ended and will remain that way until we no longer have the ability to contact each other, Benny. When or if you feel the need or desire to share, know that I am willing."

But how to continue the conversation? Koty didn't like that it seemed that Benton felt he was.. boring, for lack of a better word. "If you would not mind, could you attempt to describe life with a younger sibling? Perhaps life with two parents instead of one? Those experienced tend to be.. taken for granted. 'No big deal'.. they are not memories or experiences I have ever come across. They are very familiar things to those who have grown up with them. They do not tend to be thought about, are instead simply accepted as fact, and are much more difficult for me to understand even with my ability to absorb memories from others. I would compare it to.. a different language or culture. Simple enough to study or observe, but more difficult to understand."

Maybe that would make Benny feel more.... significant. Also, Koty was genuinely a bit curious how the boy might attempt to describe the situation that was likely so normal to him he'd never given it a second thought.

[Benton Barrett]

He let out a sigh of relief when Koty indicated his friend was fine – albeit, the way he said it was a little lonely. Destined to be appreciated and avoided… What an incredibly solitary attitude. But of course… wasn’t he doing the same thing to himself, by thinking himself a monster, and trying to keep people pushed away? He shook his head a little bit at Koty. “I won’t avoid you.” He finally managed, trying to come up with something to say to that. What could he say, beyond that? Koty shouldn’t feel like he was locked away because of his gift. No one should.

But as he knew from personal experience they did.

He looked down at his arm, as Koty explained his experiment. Had it really been as simple as that? Maybe it was something as basic as clothes… or his own inattention, and all of a sudden, he’d have his control. If one could call a muzzle control.

The younger meta tried to wrap his mind around the things Koty said about not comparing lives. Unfortunately, Benton wasn’t particularly philosophical. He couldn’t see how the other boy felt it was selfish. After all, wasn’t sympathizing or empathizing with someone’s life a way to bond? Running fingers through his hair, he allowed his lower lip to get trapped between his teeth, nibbling gently on the chapped skin there.

Koty’s life, it seemed, prior to Hammel, and even now, was a somber one. He seemed to function mostly on his own… which was strange to Benny. He couldn’t stand being alone. Not really. That was why this whole move had taken such a heavy toll on him. How Koty had grown up to be so calm and capable was beyond the otherwise emotionally dependent meta.

His question, though, caught him off guard. Tell him what it was like to have a younger sibling? Or his life with two parents? He’d skirt the subject of parents, instead deciding to focus on his sister. He didn’t understand how to describe it… it just… was. How was he supposed to just explain life that was ‘unimpressive’ to him? Thoughtfully, he let out a breath.

“Mmm… I think… the best way to describe it…? When I first saw my sister – definitely my baby sister – I got this… feeling in my stomach. I was kind of torn, and that’s still the way it is today. I was so worried that she was… I dunno, a replacement for me or something. That I’d become invisible because she was there. But the other part of me? It’s like… how I guess being knighted would feel like.”

His hand continued to play with the back of his neck, thoughtfully. “Because even though I was super scared, and all that, I still just wanted to keep her safe. Yeah, some days I want to mail her to Australia… but if someone were to mess with her? I’d have to snap them in half.” It was partially a joke – he was the very definition of late bloomer and could likely not snap a slim-jim. But the point still stood. “She’s like a friend who I know will always be there, because she’s seen me at my best and my worst – and I’ve known her her whole life.”

He realized he was kind of rambling in mental circles. “I’ve never really thought about it that closely, you know? It just… kind of is..”