A Man's Gotta Do What A Man's Gotta Do

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It had taken a few days, but finally Oriel was starting to feel a little bit more like himself after having beat a certain psycho half to death. The wounds on his arms and on Phen's neck were healing rather well with Dr. Nik's help though it still hurt when he applied too much pressure. Phoenix had been very attentive and sympathetic to Oriel and his aberrant state of mind, though it didn't take long for Oriel to figure out that the pixie had also been extra clingy since the attack. Which was more than enough for Oriel to start thinking that he needed to get over himself quickly so he could take care of his Phoenix....aw, who was he kidding? Oriel had gone right back to putting on an act so that Phoenix wouldn't worry so much about him. Oriel was far from alright, but at least he knew how to hide it.

Oriel had decided that Phoenix needed some fresh air. And that spending some time outside in the cool air might do him some good. Heck, it might do both the boys some good. But it was important for Oriel to see Phoenix doing well, it helped ease his mind. If he wasn't confined to school grounds, then he'd probably take the boy down to the pet shop again.

The two boys trekked across the courtyard in near silence. It was probably his imagination, but Oriel felt like people were watching him. Judging him from afar. He tried to ignore it. Before long, they could see the pond and headed for the tree where the two of them had first hooked up, but as they approached, Oriel came to a stop as his eyes fell upon the figure of a girl he'd met once...and had been avoiding for the past four months. "Shit...." he whispered, thankful that she was, at least, looking away and still to far to hear their approach.....or retreat as he would have it.

[Deleted]

Physically, Phen was doing pretty well. The wounds on his neck were feeling better (though the scars would probably last a long time), the bruises on his throat from Kodi's choking grip were gone, and he was starting to be able to sleep better without waking with a jolt after having vivid dreams of the crazed student chasing after him. He was, however, worried about Oriel. Despite his lover's assurances that he was fine, and his act for making it seem so, Phoenix had gotten to know him well enough to begin to know when he was putting on a front, and it pained him to see that Oriel was trying so hard to seem fine for Phoenix's sake. Still, the boy was good at making it seem like he was alright, so Phen tried not to fawn over him as much as he had been, even if it was difficult.

He didn't particularly want to go outside (it was cold out there!), but Oriel managed to convince him it would be good for him. So after wrapping his thin body in several layers of clothing to keep himself from freezing, with a beanie pulled snugly over his head, he trudged out into the cold with his lover. He still shivered as they stepped outside, but he would be fine.

Phen made a point to glare at anyone that looked at them too closely, keeping close to Oriel as they headed towards the pond. Seeing the tree brought back a lot of memories for Phoenix, most of them fond - it seemed to be a sort of important place in his life. However, as soon as he also caught sight of the girl underneath it, he froze about the same time Oriel did and immediately started to try to scramble behind a nearby bush, dragging Oriel with him. Though, as soon as he was sure they were hidden, his brow furrowed in confusion; Oriel had voiced his own panic. "Wait, why'd you say 'shit'?" he asked, peeking at AJ through the leaves. He looked back to the boy. "Don't tell me somethin' weird happened with you too...?" He felt awful about that day, back before Oriel came into his life, when he was constantly on the prowl for bedmates. AJ had done something to his emotions, he was sure, but the point was, he had still had that intent, and it made him feel sick thinking about it now.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

It had been a long few months and AJ was still struggling, but she was out of her dorm room, wasn't she? Normally she went to the pond with Travis, but he was in class and honestly she just needed some time to herself. In a heavy sweater, jeans, boots and a scarf looped around her neck, she sat by the pond with her journal in her lap, filling in the pages with her thoughts, less scary thoughts than months before.

As a chilly November breeze blew through the area, AJ's free-flowing curls blew into her face and the pages of her journal turned. She heaved a frustrated sigh and looked out, seeing a glimpse of a jacket but nothing more. She shook her head as if to clear it and looked down at her journal. The wind had turned her to a page she didn't wish to see, memories she didn't want to revisit from months ago.

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Oriel would be fine. Yup. So long as nothing called him out on it, he would continue to be fine, at least until he had enough time to just let things fade. Realistically, Oriel should probably talk about things with Phen. He probably should make efforts to just be plainly honest. About everything. Oriel wasn't exactly sure what "everything" was, but it was weighing on his mind constantly, making him space out and be snappier than usual. At least over the course of the past few days, Oriel had learned how to keep those snaps down. And to keep his head stable.

At least Phen looked adorable with that little beanie on. Conversely, Oriel had a full head of hair that did quite the job of keeping his head warm. And he'd already been used to the cold winters of NYC, so he wasn't bundled up nearly as much as Phen was; a forest green jacket that he kept slightly unzipped and a brown patterned scarf tucked into it.

As Oriel's eyes took notice of the girl, Phoenix suddenly pulled Oriel aside and down into a nearby bush, tumbling the surprised boy down on his butt. "Oy! Phoenix! What're you…?" Oriel started, confused as hell. But then Phoenix commented on Oriel's own exclamation and he was….well, he was even more confused. "Wait, you mean with….AJ?" He remembered her name! "Why? What the hell happened to you?" Of course he did his best to keep his voice down as he shifted around in the cold grass and peered slowly over the hedge.

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Honesty. Communicating. Both were things the two of them were still struggling with, which Phoenix desperately wanted to start to work on with Oriel, but h didn't know how to bring it up without... Seeming like he was suggesting they take a more serious step into whatever relationship they had going. Oriel's reassurances about him not being just a thing had done a lot to help keep his worries at bay, but he still had plenty else to worry about.

He cringed as Oriel stumbled onto his butt, immediately going over to give him a hug and a nuzzle. "Sorry," he mumbled, anxiety clear in his voice. "I didn't mean to..." He trailed off, hoping he hadn't bumped any lingering bruises. But as the girl's name was mentioned, Phen glanced at the ground, then back in the direction where AJ was sitting. He had tried to forget about the incident. "Yeah," he murmured quietly, tugging his beanie down over the tips of his ears again. "I..." How did he say it without sounding like a... Like a rapist? "I bumped into her some months ago, before I met you..." He shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "I was tryin' to... Wantin' t'maybe see if she wanted t'hook up, and... And I kinda..." His breathing shortened and he cringed, hiding his face behind his hands. "Somethin' happened, I can't explain it. But... I wasn't myself. I..." He swallowed hard. "I almost... Forced myself on her." He waited for Oriel to respond with disgust, or disappointment, or something similar. But he couldn't lie and say nothing happened. "I've been... Tryin' to avoid seein' her again..."

He peered up at the boy, anxiety written all over his face, and peeked over the brush again. "I feel awful about it," he mumbled dejectedly. "But..." He turned back to Oriel, remembering the other boy's reaction. "What happened with you?"

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Oriel ignored Phoenix's coddling, that wasn't important right now. Instead, he continued to look over the top of the bush at the girl that was….unnervingly close to their tree. So much that they couldn't get to it without alerting her. Or even be in it without her noticing. Ugh…maybe they should just go back and try again later.

But then Phoenix hesitantly told his story, the confusion, the anxiety plainly obvious in his voice. And Oriel heard a tale that was…very reminiscent of his own. Similarities, differences, but the key factor was that, "She's a pheromone manipulator," Oriel said as if that explained everything. And it did. Oriel turned around and sat his rump down against the cold grass, his back to the side of the hedge. "She, um," how could he explain this right? "She can control emotions. Not exactly control, right, but basically. Her power enhances emotions that are already there in a person. And then the person acts on them." At least that was the explanation that he'd gotten from his roommate Sakiya…back when they were still speaking to each other. Oriel felt like he was reciting encyclopedia article though.

As for what he'd done…Oriel shook his head. "If you know what's up, you can resist, but not without a bit of effort." Oriel pulled his knees up and rested his elbows off of them, arching his head back as he reflected back on that memory. "If she hadn't told me beforehand, I might've….." He opened his eyes and looked at Phen with a shrug of his shoulder. "I might've done the same thing." Obviously, Oriel had also been avoiding the girl.

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Phoenix's eyes widened as Oriel spoke about AJ's ability, and he groaned, rubbing his palm against his head. "That explains so much," he whispered. Yes, he had wanted to get close to her, but he had never been the type to force himself on people. He didn't know the exact nature of the power, so he appreciated Oriel explaining it to him, but he still felt a teeny tiny bit better knowing he hadn't just been spouting bull when he said he hadn't felt like himself. "So, if you feel some form of lust..." he mumbled, settling next to Oriel on the grass. "Shit, what an awful ability." From what he had seen, AJ hadn't had all that much control over it, considering she seemed to have released some sort of... Whatever just from Phen brushing against her.

He looked back over at Oriel as he explained himself, gnawing nervously on his lip. "I wish I'd've known," he mumbled, but considering how little control he usually had over his emotions, he wasn't sure it would have helped anyway. He fell silent, then turned around and peeked out again. "W-we should... I dunno..." Phoenix took a deep, nervous breath. "We should apologize." Now that he was aware of AJ's ability, he felt a little less like it had been entirely his fault, but he still felt horrible about it and... And wanted to make sure AJ knew he wasn't the creep he had came off to be.

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"Yeah..." Oriel agreed, closing his eyes again. For Phen it had been lust, which made sense for him; Phoenix's base status was pretty much horny. For Oriel, it had been anger. With a little bit of fear. Which would have led Oriel to hurt her somehow if he hadn't been able to hold himself back...which as it was took all his effort in the first place. And being the twisted fuck he was, that probably would have led right back to where Phen was standing.

That day had been a long one. A torturous one. The effects of the pheromones would have eventually gone away, but before they had Oriel had hurt a lot of people. That was also the day that he lost his best friend. Kodah had been too hurt and betrayed to forgive him, and Oriel had been too stubborn to explain what really happened.

Oriel had been zoning out when Phoenix made his suggestion and he barely heard it. "Wh..what?" he looked at the other boy incredulously. "But we didn't do..." Ok, he had antagonized her enough to stress her out into releasing the spores but... "Are you crazy?" he said, raising his voice suddenly, then hushing it back down just as quick. "Why am I? And when, when have I apologized to anybody, ever?" He was going to leave out the one he had with Benny, Phoenix didn't need to know about that.

[Deleted]

As much as Phoenix had changed since that day... Yeah, he was still pretty much constantly aware of his closeness with others, and how it screwed with his neediness. Although it was pretty much satiated with his romps with Oriel, he was still definitely a very lustful being. He couldn't help it. But at least he was better at controlling himself now; he didn't really need anyone else to fulfill his needs, although he had to admit, throwing Erik into his sessions with Oriel sometimes was always interesting.

He flinched slightly at Oriel's response to his suggestion, his eyes turning downcast as he sunk in on himself. "I dunno," he mumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. Maybe he was crazy. "It just... S-seems like the right thing t'do." Unlike Oriel, Phen had seemed to do a lot of apologizing lately, although mostly towards the boy himself. He wasn't above admitting his mistakes. "You don't have to, but..." A small spark lit inside Phen's eyes, and before he could talk himself out of it, he stumbled to a standing position and clenched his fists. "I'm gonna try." What could go wrong? Not like it could get worse...

He stepped out from behind the brush, glancing back at Oriel and hoping that he would follow suit. If not... Well, he couldn't and wouldn't make his lover do anything he didn't want to.

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Yeah, Phen was crazy! The best thing was to just…run the other way and pretend nothing happened like he normally did like a coward and who was he kidding Phoenix was right and Oriel was just too scared shitless to actually do anything as brave as something Phen was wanting to do….and in that sense, Phoenix was a better person than Oriel was. Actually, Oriel had always thought Phen was a better person than he was. He had stayed by Oriel's side this long and had promised over and over to continue to do so…even though Oriel was hardly worth such kindness and devotion, still he gave it.

Right now, Phoenix seemed so much stronger than Oriel was, willing to go through with something that scared Oriel to death. It was so much easier to ignore it……

"Hey! Hey wait!" Oriel turned and reached out to pull Phen back down again, but barely putting any effort into it. "Fine! Do what you want!" he declared like a 5 year old child, and he crossed his arms as such, with a petulant scowl.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

Okay, she'd definitely heard some voices. AJ looked up from her journal once again, eyes scrutinizing a figure that had emerged. A familiar, tall figure. Her pen lay idle on the page in the middle of a word. She was shocked. She felt emotions flooding into her, rushing and threatening to destroy the dam she'd built. No. Just...no. Her pen smeared ink along the page as she set it down, staring at the guy who wasn't very far away.

He wasn't going to come over here, was he? She couldn't imagine, she didn't want to imagine. She intended to leave that part of her life behind even if the emotional scars were still there,but Phoenix was lingering there and AJ became more worried by the minute as she scrambled to shove her journal in her bag in all of the anxiety.

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Phen stumbled slightly as Oriel tugged at his arm, and he gave a small huff and furrowed his brows. "Please don't try t'stop me," he mumbled, gently pulling his arm out of the boy's grip as Oriel scowled and spoke. "I'd... I'd really like you t'help, but... I understand if y'don't want to."

By this point he looked up at AJ, who had obviously seen him by now. He swallowed hard, heart pounding as their eyes met. There was a couple of pauses, then the girl began to scramble to put away whatever she was working on and Phen sprang into action. "H-hey, wait- please, I'm not gonna do anythin', I promise," he stammered, his voice soft and meek. He came a little closer, but not too close, knowing now the nature of AJ's ability and not wanting it to mess up his apology.

"I... I just wanted t'say how fuckin' sorry I am... For what happened," he mumbled, eyes on the ground. "There's no excuse for my behavior, even with the pheromones, an'.... I guess I just want you t'know you don't have t'worry about me anymore." His eyes darted up for a moment before they dropped again. Would she believe his sincerity? He looked back over his shoulder, wishing Oriel was beside him.

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Oriel knew that Phen was right, that he was on the right track, but...but....hell, Oriel was just too damn stubborn and follow suit so easily after Phoenix. So he just sat there and glared over as Phoenix disappeared from site. After a few more moments, when he called out to AJ, Oriel finally turned around and dared to peek through the brush, trying to hide himself behind it.

Watching the scene just grated on him and he wasn't sure if that was because it looked stupid or because it looked stupid and it was still a better thing than what Oriel would have done on his own. That and he was almost certain that he looked even stupider hiding behind that bush to anyone who happened to pass by.

As soon as Phoenix had gotten out his apology, Oriel poked his head barely above the hedge and hissed at Phen, "Oh, my god! I can't believe how easy you gave that up, like a fucking 3rd rate Van Buren hooker!" Apparently Phen was better versed and skilled in apologies than Oriel was. It had taken him a full 5 minutes of pacing about and bickering before he finally managed to get one out for Benny, something he made the other boy promise to never share with anybody. Oriel darted his eyes over at AJ, a look of embarrassment masked by a glare of annoyance. He dipped his head back below the hedge, squatting there completely mortified that he'd actually revealed himself and freaking out over what was going to happen next, omg, AJ was totally going to scream at them and run away wasn't she??

Oriel lowered his head between his knees, wishing that Phen would come back for him and give him the nudges he needed to take another step forward....he really did want to made amends with her, despite anything he said to the contrary.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ had shoved her journal in her bag and scrambled to her feet, stopping for a moment as Phoenix spoke. She didn't know what she was expecting him to say. Perhaps he'd been avoiding her as much as she'd avoided running into him. Her luck had finally run out and here he was in front of her. But his facial expression was softer than she remembered and she listened to what he said, hiking her bag further up on her shoulder as he spoke. He'd found out what her power was, she didn't know how, but he had and she was entirely shocked that he hadn't shifted all of the blame onto herself. That's what she usually did. It seemed the most logical, but then again, it wasn't as if she'd done it on purpose and Phoenix had the feelings that set everything in motion. She didn't know what to think or say, but before she could decide, a loud voice interrupted her thoughts and her eyes darted to another figure behind a bush, yelling.

She took a step back, startled. He was sort of far away, but she knew who he was, just by his voice. He'd yelled at her before...threatened her. They were both here at the same time? She felt overwhelmed in an instant, wondering how the hell this could even happen. He was still angry...the same pheromone she'd manipulated before.

She turned back to Phoenix. "Uhm...thank you." She tried to breathe, thinking of Jay's training. "I'm glad you realize...that part of it was your fault. I mean..." She bit down on her lip. "I realize that I manipulated you. It wasn't my intent. I'm not in control of my power...." What else was she supposed to say? "I just...if you knew....what I'd been through since then....the guilt...the anger..." She shook her head, looking down at the ground.

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Phoenix waited nervously for AJ's response, hands fidgeting at his sides as he stared at the ground. He half-expected her to run - and he wouldn't blame her. He felt like a creep after what he had done; looking back now, it was amazing to realize how much he had changed. And... Really, the person he had to thank for that was...

Oriel - what was he doing? Phoenix's gaze shot back as he heard the boy's hiss, and he shot him an unamused pout. "This is hard enough as it is, Oriel," he replied quietly. "Please... Don't." He hardly ever spoke up against his lover, but this was serious, and he didn't... Want to ruin it.

His attention was taken again, though, as AJ finally spoke, and his heart calmed a tiny, tiny bit at her response. "I do realize that," he replied quietly. "I was... In a really bad place back then, an' I know that's not an excuse, but... I still get sick thinkin' about it." He nodded slowly as she explained about her ability. "I... Thought as much." More guilt built up, though, as she mentioned how she'd been faring since then - not well. "Fuck," he hissed. "And I... God, I fucked up so much," he huffed, rubbing a palm against his forehead. "Look, if there's anythin'... Anythin' that I can do t'make things better..." He trailed off; what could he possibly do to take back what he had already done? "Please... Tell me." All he could do was offer.

He glanced back again, sighing and stepping to go beside Oriel. "Babe, she knows you're here," he said softly, taking both of the boy's hands gently in his own. "Please... Look at her, she's traumatized from what happened." He tugged slightly, going to stand again and try to bring Oriel with him this time. "I think you should say somethin'."