china glaze {Oriel}

[Deleted]

"Fair 'nuff." Too much to hope for, he guessed. Which really sucked, but if neither side was willing then he wasn't going to force it.

Oriel too would admit there was a fair amount of affection for the country boy that sat across from him. There had been from the very beginning. Though considering what they'd been through together, it should have been expected by now. There were so many others too that Oriel would've, could've considered for the role had he known he'd have taken that step eventually, but it was Phoenix who managed to fill it. Had Oriel any concrete proof of Erik's feelings, he wouldn't know how to respond, just like he had with Kodi when the psycho was too delirious to hold himself back.

"Thanks," he said, no further hesitation given to rifling through Erik's bag to find that stick of tobacco. Oriel still failed to ever get his own, instead opting to "borrow" them from people who wanted them bad enough to have their own stock. Once upon a time, Oriel had tried that himself, though eventually decided his money was better spent on food, specifically vending machine danishes.

Oriel managed to get a few drags out, enjoying the sudden rush of nicotine on his nerves, before Erik finally announced his readiness to paint Oriel's nails a fine jizz-white. As he held his hand out, the fag still pressed between his lips, Oriel muttered, "Ok, so you don't fuck and tell, I get that. Privacy and all. Let's try this." He took the cigarette in his free hand and blew white smoke from his nose. "Who'd you want to fuck?" No, Oriel was not trying to gossip like a little girl. Though he certainly was smiling like one.

[Erik Stewart]

Erik blew on his nails for one last time. He’d been waving them out for a few minutes now and he figured they were just about dry. When Oriel extended his hand he took it and pulled it closer, then undid the cap, wielding the brush above his fingers.

He smiled, though he didn’t look up. Erik started on his forefinger first, painting in small, slow strokes. It’d take two coats for the color to get solid. “I don’t know,” he said, at length, though it was clear he was considering. “Don’t really know that many people.”

Erik could remember thinking some people were attractive, of course, but he was unaware of the majority of their names. “Well,” he began, “Probably Beau. Think he’s straight, though.” Doin’ it with another southerner was always nice – really brought him back. Erik paused as he thought. “…I guess Rowan’s pretty hot.”

He’d only interacted with Beau a few times and he couldn’t have said they saw eye to eye, and he didn’t know Rowan at all – only seen him a few times, maybe in the hallway or something.

Erik resumed; slowly Oriel’s nails emerged white. “You?”

[Deleted]

Oriel watched with eyes full of fascination as that cold liquid was spread over his cropped nails. It was then that Oriel started getting self-conscious about the state of his hands; more than half of the nails had been bitten off leaving the other half noticeably longer than the rest, and the rough skin around two or three, especially on his thumbs, had clearly been chewed on.

He'd never realized how bad it looked until this very moment.

"And if he were gay, he would make you say, ohhh, Beau," he commented, rearranging a line from a comedian with the same name(just spelled differently). Though the next name, Oriel just gave a snort and nod. "Yeah, no shit. Put a gag on him though, keep his mouth shut, he's a hella lot hotter."

That one time in the auditorium was enough for Rowan to catch Oriel's eye, but the whole interaction had been less than pleasant, especially with the guy's mouth.

Oriel pursed his lips, trying to think of a name. "Well I got a list of chicks that I'm sure you don't wanna hear 'bout." He rolled his head up, using his free hand to flick the ashes of the cigarette onto the side of the plate…right next to the rest of the sandwiches. "What about that spic, what's his name…Fer-something?" Oriel was great with faces and great with names, but putting names to faces might not always work. "Oh! I got one. The Bishop Twins." Even Oriel knew about that horde of a family.

[Erik Stewart]

Erik gave him a lop-sided smile and half a laugh, one that seemed an accident – he struggled to control it, biting down on his lip. He didn’t bother to deny it, though. Erik didn’t know anything about any comedians named Beau but the chances that he’d utter those words weren’t out of the realm of possibility (given that he wasn’t straight).

“Never heard ‘im talk,” was all he had to say about Rowan.

”Well I got a list of chicks that I’m sure you don’t wanna hear ‘bout.”

“Wouldn’t mind. I hear some people are into ‘em,” he replied. Erik kept his head down as he painted his nails. Fer. Didn’t know him either; he didn’t react much, just laid the white on leisurely…Erik did notice Oriel’s nails seemed a little chewed, of course, but he didn’t bring it up. It was only after Oriel mentioned ‘the Bishop twins’ that he perked his head.

And not in a good way. There was such an instinctual look of disgust there: wrinkled nose, curled lip. “Oh, gross,” he said. “They look like they’re fuckin’ thirteen ya god damn pedophile. Get that baby shit out of my face.” He resumed painting. “’Sides, aren’t they Gestalt? Same person n’ all that? How’s that s’posed t’work?”

Erik never could wrap his head around polyamory or anything like that. He was far too jealous a person to even comprehend it, being a one-man kind of guy. Besides that, ‘babyfaces’ repelled him: innocence was something of a turn off for Erik.

[Deleted]

If Oriel thought it would get Erik to smile more, even to coax out a genuine laugh from him, he would have recited the rest of the lyrics to that song(Tag: Mature content) but....well, Oriel was still trying to pinpoint the line between annoying and fucking irritating with this guy.

Though it was Oriel's turn to smile when Erik invited the other boy to present his list of female desirables. He might be sorry he asked, though. Oriel took a deep breath then, in one long winded stream, listed off a general gist of names...or at least what he thought some of their names were. "That funny talking chick, Lucy, Evony Va..vasss...something, AJ aka Amanda Joy, my slut roommate Rya(?), Lainy Bishop(?), Georgina Speer(just don't tell her that), that bitch-faced chick, real cute, don't know her name(Mina Snow), aaaand maaaaaybe Mia Bell." There were a couple of others but he couldn't even begin to guess what their names were or how to describe them, so he left them out. Though if Erik knew these girls at all, he might notice there was a type Oriel was seeing between them all.

When he mentioned the Bishop twins, Oriel had to stifle a laugh at Erik's reaction. "Hey, one, I ain't no pedo. Two, they're in my class so gotta be at least 15-16. Three, what? Never taken a virgin before?" He snorted. "I dunno. 'swhat I wanna find out, I guess." The only other option for Oriel was the Stewart twins and he was sure the girl would sooner eat his eyes out.

"'Sides..." he started to mumble. "Thirteen's nothing. It's how old I was when I..." Oriel trailed off. Did he really need to share that?

[Erik Stewart]

Erik looked up occasionally as he listed off a whole bunch of names. It was safe to say he didn’t know any of them. “Funny talkin’ chick?” he mentioned, with a curled lip. Mia Bell? Nope, wasn’t ringing a bell. Erik didn’t exactly regret it but it wasn’t like Oriel was going to get much reciprocation there – his attraction to the female gender was notably absent.

“No I’ve never ‘taken a virgin’. Why would I wanna do that? They’re fuckin’ crap at it, alright? I don’t wanna deal with ‘em fumblin’ around with their dick. Plus,” he added, “They’ve gotta last like three minutes.”

That, and he’d always found Gestalts to be a little creepy. He didn’t like the whole synchronized voice thing, the synchronized movements, the…super strength. It reminded him too much of robots and dove straight into the uncanny valley, as far as he was concerned. Erik definitely had no urge to fool around with any of them.

“Nope…” he drawled, painting on Oriel’s second coat. It was emerging as a nice solid white. “The big league is where the fun’s at.”

He blinked and looked up. Erik had started early too, of course, but thirteen was entering iffy territory for him. “You weren’t…” There was really no gentle way to say it. “…molested, were you?”

[Deleted]

And this was the reason why Oriel left the girls out in the first place. Had this been someone else, someone undeniably straight(like McCarthy), they could have talked about the fairer sex like a couple of normal, sex-obsessed teens. Was it expecting too much from the universe to have these normal, mundane conversations like normal, mundane kids?

Oh, well. Sharing a nail-painting session and gabbing about boys was good enough for him.

"Oh, I don't know. For the experience maybe? Try something new?" Oriel was all about the experience, and to him, Gestalts and virgins were experiences. Most of Oriel's tastes were fucking weird anyway, he wondered sometimes how he hadn't freaked himself out yet.

But he supposed he could relate to Erik's point of view. Someone who couldn't hold out was just disappointing. "Got a point there. The bigger they are....But you know there're always ways around that."

Oriel looked up from his intense gaze from watching Erik paint, his face clearly shocked at his friend's quick assumption. "No...! Fuck no! Jesus Christ, Erik....no!" Is that what people thought of him? Oriel brushed his eyebrows forward in a complex look of appall and disgust. "I paid a fucking hooker with drug money, alright!" He didn't mean to put it so bluntly, but he was pissed and didn't really know why. But after going into so much detail just a few weeks ago with Phoenix, minimizing the whole thing in a few short words made him sick to his stomach.

[Erik Stewart]

Erik’s full attention was drawn to his face. He guessed he didn’t like that assumption much. “Sorry, man,” he said, the brush suspended above his fingers, “I just thought…”

Well, it was usually what people thought of when they heard of young girls and boys being intimate at that age. He wasn’t sure how to put it in words, so he let the sentence taper off. Erik blinked at him from there, brows low, eyes narrowed, willing himself to wrap his head around the notion. “What kinda hooker has sex with a thirteen year old?”

He couldn’t do it. The thought confounded him. He wondered if, had he the money, gone and done something like that and ended up with a resounding no. It occurred to him, of course, that he didn’t know much about Oriel, or where he came from. Some place with hookers. With ‘drug money’. In the city, probably; he still remembered the time Oriel had no idea how to reel in a fishing rod. No parents that he knew of – no siblings, either?

He went back to painting his nails. “You coulda got something,” he said. “You could’ve went to juvy, sellin’ drugs n’ shit.”

[Deleted]

"You thought wrong…!" Oriel was visibly unsettled now and was quickly trying to reverse it.

Oriel really just brought this all on himself because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. There were reasons why Oriel never talked about his past and these stupid assumptions were one of them. Others were questions, demands for an explanation that made sense…Fuck that shit! Oriel didn't have answer to nobody about anything he did in that shit life he had before Hammel!

"Yeah, well…I didn't," he snapped. "Now just fucking drop it already, I shoulda never said nothing." His heart was racing now that those memories were trying to claw their way up to the surface. Oriel kept an unmoving scowled out face while he mentally tried to kick them back down.

Oriel took a breath. "It was only the one time I did it," he started against his better judgement. "Made the sale, pocketed the money like a stupid kid, and hooked up with one of call-girls that always walked that street. She's only sixteen, but still wasn't gonna do it at first, I had to convince her to take the fucking cash. And even then…." Oriel shook his head with a sigh. He rose a hand to brush it through his hair then stopped himself, remembering his nails were still drying, and set it back on the table. "…..anyway, it wasn't whatever it is you're thinking…"

Oriel fell silent and prepared himself for whatever came next. Judgement, disgust, more uncomfortable questions….? Fucking hell…

[Erik Stewart]

The last of his nails were painted over. They had all become a nice solid color, white. He thought it looked nice, next to his olive skin…definitely the right color. The kind of blue he had now would not have been so complementary.

Erik was listening to his explanations. It was safe to say that he didn’t understand them, exactly. He was also somewhat baffled in the face of his slightly frantic anger of the subject, or the fact he’d mistaken it for something even less savory. Still, he did not interrupt. He only paused to squint at him. “Sorry,” he repeated, turning his head. Erik shrugged. “I’m not – y’know. Gonna lecture you ‘r anythin’.”

He withdrew the brush and put it back in its case. “It’s just not the sorta thing you hear ‘bout everyday.”

It was clear that Oriel didn’t want to elaborate on the subject. Erik didn’t push. It wasn’t much of his business, anyway, and he would have felt the same if someone had pursued some of his own secrets.

[Deleted]

Oriel held up his hands to review the completed look. He managed at least half a smile while his heart was still feeling heavy with the current topic of conversation. Oriel…could probably get used to this. He wondered what red would look like. It might be a bit cliche, or too common but…red really was the best color. He would dare say it was his favorite. Though Oriel also had the bragging rights to say he looked good in every color. No matter what.

As if that mattered.

His head was feeling iffy now though, a little(lot) paranoid at what Erik must be thinking of him now that he'd seen a small snippet of Oriel's past. Really….Oriel had been such a stupid kid….fuck, he still was. He hated it. But back then…he really didn't think there was anything fucked up about what he was doing…or maybe he did and was just…who the hell knew what he was trying to do. Maybe just see how fucked up he could get before somebody actually gave a shit.

Oriel blinked up at Erik's apology. "Yeah…guess it ain't…" Though honestly, seeing how sensitive Erik was now being on the subject….Oriel really couldn't help himself. His face had twisted into some strange, bittersweet expression, with a smile that wasn't quite sure it wanted to be a smile. Oriel stood and rounded the table, quickly wrapping his arms tightly around the shoulders his friend. "Thanks…." He tried to keep his voice from cracking. "You're such a fucking good friend, Erik." And one Oriel just wanted to spend the next ten minutes cuddling. Yup, best cuddle friends.

[Erik Stewart]

Erik noticed him looking. “Yellow would look good,” he suggested. Or green. None of which he stocked, because he had limited funds and neither of those colors were what he considered “his” colors. It was all monochrome, blue, or nothing, as far as he was concerned.

He was aware that Oriel wasn’t feeling his best, obviously. He could see it in his smile, small and strained, and he’d grown a little quiet. Erik was at a loss. He had never been particularly good at communication, much less when it came to making people feel better. If anything, he was good at the exact opposite of that. Instead, he simply decided to leave it; he looked up and away, scratching the back of his neck nervously, lips pulled taut in a one-sided frown.

Erik heard Oriel’s chair scrape the floor as he stood, but even that didn’t prepare him for the embrace, and his tearful voice in his ear. He hesitated. Erik thought that it felt awkward. It was warm, but it was awkward. Oriel was standing up and he was sitting down, and he continued to sit there, looking bewildered; returning the embrace didn’t even occur to him at first.

He let out a sound which was like a laugh, except shorter, and breathy, dismissive. “I put you in the hospital,” he reminded him, incredulous.

[Deleted]

Oriel hated strangers, he hated people getting up close and in his personal bubble, a space which was reserved a select few people. Once a person got past that bubble, Oriel became incredibly tactile, rarely hesitating to go in for a hug. What typically held him back was the uncertainty of whether it was welcome or if they'd already told him it wasn't. Well…sometimes that still didn't hold him back.

Hugs made him feel better. It was simple as that. The close physical contact and warmth of another person made him feel connected. It pushed down the anxieties and stresses that would build up, reassured him of the other person's affection, made him feel wanted.

Erik's reminder drew a laugh from Oriel that mimicked his own. "Yeah…that sucked." In so many ways. But fighting, like fist-fighting, with your friends was just something that happened. You stayed pissed at them for a bit, then things went back to normal. That's how it was back in NYC. Hammel was different, Erik was different, Kodi was different, but Oriel still lived by those rules, even if he was damn terrified of losing his friends every single time.

Oriel wrapped himself tighter. His arms seemed to be cradling Erik's head more than his shoulders now. Oriel ruffled the boy's hair and planted a kiss in it. "Just don't do it again, alright? You're my….friend." He'd almost said 'best' right then. "Don't want to have to kill you." He pulled back, a boyish smile having emerged on his face. He stuck out his tongue.

[Erik Stewart]

His stiffness didn’t seem a deterrent to Oriel. He didn’t let go, just hovered above him with his arms around his angular shoulders. Erik was not one to share intimacy or experience it, but he guessed he could understand what the hype was all about. The warmth was sweeter while so unexpected. Still Erik didn’t return the embrace, but this was simply because he hadn’t thought to, not because he was unwilling.

He knew Oriel had moved on (if he hadn’t, they wouldn’t be sitting around painting each other’s nails), but he still felt that the ends weren’t tied. There was still some part of him that felt he needed to issue a proper apology. He had tried, sometimes, and he had said the words, but to be labeled a ‘friend’ after he’d sent him careening off in an ambulance…

Well, at least Oriel seemed sincere.

“You’re my friend too,” Erik mumbled, and one of his only ones, at that. His lashes dipped over his eyes; he was looking at his hands in his lap.

Then he looked up, freckled cheeks dimpled in a smile, his expression melted into something warm and inviting which was a rare sight to see. “I’d like t’see you try,” he said.

(done? :} )