All The World Is Only You And Me (Phoenix)

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Fuck... Phoenix was exhausted. With everything that had happened and the new things he'd gotten, he should have known this would happen. His limbs were still shivering slightly as he calmed down from the last half hour or hour or however long it'd been, he'd lost track of the time. Phen had been hungry before they started, too; it was no wonder his eyelids were drooping. He needed some food, pronto.

But first... He stirred as Oriel pulled up behind him, peeking over his shoulder at the boy lovingly nuzzling into his short, damp hair. When the boy spoke, Phoenix yawned, and chuckled. "Mmm... It probably is," he sighed. "I'll still eat it, though." As if to prove himself, his stomach growled noisily, and he laughed again. "You might have to carry me to the common room, though." He was sooo tired. And sore. All over.

All this attention to his hair had him feeling warm and tingly and as fuzzy as the subject itself. "You really like it, huh?" he grinned, lazily shifting his arm to find Oriel's hand and link their fingers together. "I had no idea... I was really scared you wouldn't like it and, I dunno, put a paper bag over my face when we did this sort of stuff," he admitted. Phen rolled over to face his lover, pressing his face against the boy's broad, bare chest. "Mmmmm.... I might just eat you," he hummed, chomping lightly onto his boyfriend's pec.

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"Meh, it's alright, that's what microwaves are for." He nuzzled Phoenix's hair again. "And didn't I tell you I'd carry you forever?" And Oriel meant it. He still meant it.

"Uh-huh," he answered, his face still buried. Even Oriel was surprised just how effective such a small change had on him. And he wondered why they hadn't thought of doing it sooner. "Though, you now I'd still love you even if you did have a paper bag on your head, right? Actually, that's kind of hot…." Oriel imagined it'd be like….well, he wasn't going to get into that.

In any case, at least he got all this out of his system and could concentrate on the rest of the evening from here on out. Oriel didn't anticipate any more pouncing. "How 'bout we just go eat the food?" he said, grinning like a child as he ruffled Phoenix's hair one last time.

Oriel slipped out of the bed and clothed himself, then, offered a hand to help Phoenix. "Still need me to carry you? Or do you got it?" Either way, Oriel would head back out to the common room and immediately start reheating the meal. Of course, Oriel was all smiles, and not just because of the past few minutes. He felt….fuzzy. It was surreal, sharing a domestic kind of life like this. He never once before thought that he could gain this kind of happiness. True, it was far from perfect, but it was still so much better than when he had nothing at all.

And he wanted more of it. Why wouldn't he? As he set the food out, Oriel posed what had been on his mind lately. "So…I was thinking, with you getting this job that, I don't know, maybe….maybe I should get one too?" He looked up with a sheepish smile. "Think it's…possible?"

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Phoenix chuckled, eyelids fluttering as he smooshed his face into the pillow. "Yeah... You did," he replied with a smile. He knew Oriel was there for him. Even it that meant literal carrying.

He realized this must be what it felt like every time he buried himself into Oriel's beautiful mane. It was... Nice. And Phoenix could definitely get used to it. He did, however, let out a laugh at what his boyfriend was saying. "Well, if you get a paper bag, then we can do that next time," he promised. Whatever made his Squishy happy. "Mmm... Food sounds good," he agreed, rubbing his growling stomach as he kissed Oriel's chest where he'd chomped onto it. "You went to all that work an' I didn't even see what it was that you made..." Phen trailed off. Well, at least they could enjoy it now.

Phen stayed in bed for a few more minutes after Oriel got up, trying to muster the energy to roll out of the sheets and stand up himself. It wasn't until Oriel offered his hand that Phen clasped it and managed to pull himself up, standing on his stick-thin, wobbly legs, before fumbling over to his dresser to grab a pair of sweatpants to put on, along with a heavy sweater. It was still cold, after all. "I... I think I'm good," he replied, using the walls for help as he trailed after his boyfriend back into the common room. He flopped back down at the table and rested his elbows on it, watching Oriel through half-lidded eyes, tired but content. Seeing the boy so happy and smiley made his own chest swell with affection and adoration. "You look so happy, babe," he murmured, bringing a hand up to trace along Oriel's hip as he came near. "I'm... I love t'see you smile like that." He didn't know if it was just the day or the events or what, but Phen wanted to see Oriel that content every day.

He eagerly dove into the food as it was placed before him, letting out happy sounds as he merrily chewed on Oriel's concoction. Phen glanced at the boy as he spoke, slowing down a little to take in what he was saying. "I think... I think that's a great idea, love," he replied, nodding encouragingly. "Do you have any idea where yet?" He took another large bite, chewing for a long moment before swallowing and continuing. "Anything's possible, an' I know that you'll work really hard if you want somethin'. If that happens t'be a job... Well, I think you have just as good a chance as I did, if not better." He grinned; time for some flattery. "You're charmin', good-looking, outgoing... Fuck, if a lazy, dumb moron like me can get a job, it should be easy for you." Phen shot him a smile and attacked the meal once more.

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"If I get a paper bag? You know those things are like, 100 for a dollar, right? Even I could afford one for every day of the year." He tucked his head over the nook of Phen's shoulder and leered up at his lover. "Would you like that?" Oriel stuck out his tongue, provoking the slim boy. Though, it sounded like Phen's stomach was the only thing disturbed.

So hence why the two of them needed to get out to the common room and finish what they started earlier before his roommates decided the lukewarm food was up for grabs. "Oh, yeah?" he said with a lightness in his voice. And in his face. "I, uh…." Oriel couldn't think of anything snappy to say so he just laughed to himself, keeping his head down and smile on. "What 'bout you?" he asked, turning his gaze to meet with Phoenix's. "Think I'd like to see you happy too. All the time." He fluffed a hand through Phoenix's short hair again before setting down the plates.

Oriel slipped into the seat across from his lover. "I mean, I know I was thinking 'bout it before, but now I really want to try." He huffed out a breath as he started to dig into the now warm meal. "Dunno yet," he said with stuffed cheeks. "Was think of just walking around town and seeing if anything jumps out at me." Because Oriel had no clue what he could do now nor what he'd want to do. In an ideal world, Oriel would be able to use his dancing and developing stage skills for something, like join a theatre troupe or something, but those were limited in such a small town. Almost non-existent and those that did Oriel would probably have to track down to find. And he didn't really know how to go about that. It was easier for him to just waltz into a place and ask rather than research anyway.

"Heh…outgoing…" he repeated his lover's praise. "Guess that's the nice way of putting it." Though it was true that Oriel liked talking to people even if was in an antagonistic way. Though he supposed he could stand it if he just pretended he was performing or something like that….maybe. Unfortunately, the only thing he could think of to mimic was a shady used-car salesman. And he'd probably lose his temper before too long…and then his job. Punching customers was probably not good work ethic. "How do you do it? Like, talking to people and trying to sell 'em stuff?"

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Phoenix snorted, twisting his fingers into a strand of Oriel's hair and giving a small tug. "Would I like it?" he repeated, resisting the urge to bop his boyfriend on the head. "You're ridiculous. I'd do it for you, but I'd miss being able t'see your face." Then again, it wouldn't be the first time he'd been blinded...

Hee.... He sure was happy now though, especially since Oriel responded with genuine bashfulness rather than something snarky at Phen for saying something so cheesy. "Couldn't be happier," he responded with a dimpled smile, humming as Oriel pawed a hand through his hair. He giggled as his boyfriend returned the sentiment, though it trailed off as another train of thought came to mind. It was something he'd wanted to bring up with Oriel before, and now... Maybe it would be a good time...

But he was distracted as Oriel continued to talk about his interest in finding a job, and he listened as he continued to stuff himself. "This's delicious," he announced. "Maybe you should be a cook or somethin'. I dunno." Phen didn't know how those sorts of jobs worked. He wasn't even sure if Oriel would like to do it; it was just an idea. He could definitely see the boy as a performer, though - that came to him naturally.

He was pretty much half-done with his meal already; it was amazing, this time last year he probably would have eaten a quarter of his plate over a long period of time. "You are," he insisted, though he did realize it might not be the sort of outgoing that employers were looking for. He took a bite and chewed as Oriel asked about his own work, shrugging after a moment. "I guess... I just be myself really," he mumbled. "Took me a while t'get used t'talkin' to people all the time, but... I dunno, it's not as hard as I thought it'd be."

Phen sat down his fork and stared at a knothole in the table, before quietly and slowly mumbling,"Oriel..... Can I talk t'you about somethin'?" Well... No turning back now.

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"That's why we poke eyeholes in the bag," he countered. Yup, that was some practical problem solving right there!

Phoenix was likely the only person who would be fortunate and privileged enough to experience a bashful Oriel. His lover had already seen several new sides to him today, though Oriel would conclude that it was Phoenix himself who brought out those hidden parts of Oriel, who was normally so emotionally vigilant. If he'd had any idea of what Phoenix was about to bring up, then he might not have left himself so vulnerable.

"Thought about that, but I ain't half as good as you think I am." Throwing stuff in a pot and hoping it works out could hardly be considered culinary prowess, no matter how good it actually came out most of the time. Recipes were for other people. People who knew how to read and follow instructions.

His face dropped into a deadpanned expression. "Yeah, that's what I mean. How you manage to do any of it just relying on being yourself?" Oriel had known Phoenix long enough to know how uneasy he got in social situations. And the boy was as quiet and as meek as a mouse, now that he was clean. When Oriel gave the command, he obeyed. Phoenix was hardly a picture of confidence, though maybe it was that shy nature that made other people warm up to him? Especially girls. "Hmph…guess you just get used to it if you do it enough, makes sense." The hardest part was getting out there and getting started, he supposed.

Oriel was busy stuffing his face with another forkload of food when Phoenix mumbled out his request. He looked up with a curious gaze, small slivers of food protruding from between his lips. "Mmm?" he hummed inquisitively. Phoenix was rarely so direct, so it had Oriel a little worried about what he might want to talk about. But it couldn't be anything too bad, right?

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"You got me to actually start eatin' like a normal person," Phoenix countered, taking a large bite for emphasis. He swallowed and added,"That's a feat in itself." Still, he supposed Oriel was right, though he didn't agree verbally. "I'm sure you'll find somethin'," he encouraged. "I'll go job searchin' with you sometime, if you want. We could make it a date." Phen shrugged and gave a small smile, averting his eyes back down to the food.

His lips pursed and he mulled over what Oriel was saying, knowing all too well what he was talking about. "I dunno..." he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "It wasn't easy at first... I kept hidin' whenever someone came into the shop," he admitted sheepishly. But then he'd forced himself to break out of it and actually do his job; his boss was very encouraging, which helped. "Most of the people that come in are nice, I guess. I'm not exactly threatening or pushin' them t'buy things." That wasn't what he did - he just helped people find what they needed and let them make their own decisions. "I think it's... Good for me, you know?" To actually get out and be exposed to the real world after being trapped in his own for so long.

But now his heart was starting to pick up as anxiety trickled into his veins, and Phoenix swallowed, unable to meet his lover's eyes. "I, uh..." He picked at the table, trying and failing to keep his expression calm. His nervousness was obvious. "I've been... Thinkin'... About stuff... And I, um..." Phoenix took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to the ceiling, wishing it would drop some courage onto him. "I was... Wonderin'... If maybe we could... If you could... J-just be exclusive... With me?" He realized this might be too vague and added,"I mean... With sex... And stuff...." Phen hadn't hooked up with anyone else since they had gotten together, and he'd given permission to Oriel to be able to mess around with other people, but... He would be lying if he said he was completely content with it. "I.... I'm sorry...." he mumbled, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. "M-maybe I should't've brought it up..." Phoenix was quickly doubting himself already.

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Oriel chuckled. "Now if only I can put some weight on you and make you a fatty." He playfully stuck out his tongue. Phoenix had truthfully filled out quite a bit, even more so since he kicked his addiction, allowing his body to finally work on other things instead of processing the dust in his system. And now his little boy was a working stiff and oh, Oriel was just so proud of his little boy and all his progress, he could cry. Well, he probably won't. Oriel was more likely to laugh at the image of meek little Phoenix hiding behind the shelves like a skittish cat every time a customer came through the door. And he did, a short little snicker escaped his nose as he pictured Phoenix trying to intimidate someone into buying something, his pixie wings fluttering like they did when he was trying to make himself look scary. "Yeah," he managed through a suppressed smile. "Guess it is." Oriel cleared his throat. "Guess…it's just about exposure or something. Maybe I'll work on that first…."

Oriel kept masticating his food as he kept his eyes on his lover sitting across from him, stuttering over his words and trying to get out something intelligible. Though what came out….Oriel swallow the whole bolus, ignoring the slight pain in his throat that came with it. "Huh..?" Oriel creased his brows in confusion. "Exclusive…you mean like…" If he was hearing Phoenix right, though his stomach was already starting to knot. "….like only have sex with you?" He had to be sure he was understanding that right.

That wasn't a problem, right? No, of course not! Oriel kind of suspected anyway, though he was hoping Phoenix wouldn't ever say anything…no that was bad. Of course he should say something! Wasn't that what Oriel was say to Erik and Kodi and everyone else who was sticking their nose into his business, that he'd deal with it when Phoenix told him it was a problem? And didn't he tell himself that if it came up, he'd respect Phoenix's wishes?

Yeah, Oriel suspected but….hearing it out loud was making his heart sink with guilt for having kept it up despite that. Worry, because he now wondered what else there was that he did the Phoenix wasn't okay with that he wasn't mentioning. He was anxious, wondering if he even had the willpower to follow through…no he could! Of course he could, Oriel was just being stubborn.

The atmosphere had quickly changed and the room fell silent after Phoenix made his request. Oriel's face had clearly dropped, though his expression was a hard read between irritation, guilt pensiveness, and concern. That anxious bubble in his stomach was starting to grow, however. "Have you…." he cleared his throat. "…did you always hate it?" Even after Oriel did all he could to reassure Phoenix; giving him extra attention when they were together, letting him be involved his exploits, informing him of the details of who and why he needed it. "You know…I love you right? No matter who the fuck else I…" His eyes flicked up to his lover's then rested idly on his plate.

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"I don't think I could get fat if I tried," Phoenix replied with a snort. He continued to munch on the meal, nodding along with what Oriel was saying about exposure and whatnot. "People can't hire you if they don't know you exist," he agreed. Phoenix would do his best to help his Squishy land a job. Couldn't be too hard, right?

But now his entire focus was on this... Situation that he had brought up, and Phen almost immediately regretted it, realizing how badly he had killed the uplifted mood. "Y... Yeah..." he confirmed weakly, twiddling with his fork. He couldn't bear to look to see what Oriel's expression was; hearing his voice was hard enough.

He swallowed dryly as he waited for Oriel to respond again, feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. His shoulders were slumped, his cheeks red, and his eyes downcast, the image of embarrassment and self-consciousness. He should take it back, what if Oriel didn't want to be with him if he couldn't see other people too...!? Phen was willing to put up with it if that's what it took to keep Oriel. He didn't like it... He really didn't like it... But if he had to...

Phen finally risked a peek up at Oriel, and wished he hadn't. He'd been so happy to see Oriel so smiley and content, and now... He didn't look that way at all. When Oriel finally spoke, Phen shivered slightly, wondering how to respond. Truthfully? Or... To make Oriel feel less guilty? "I..." Phoenix swallowed again, fiddling with his hands. "I mean... I-I don't hate it, I just..." What? ".... I get jealous...." he finally whimpered. "And scared. That... That you'll decide you like sleepin' and spendin' time with someone else more than me an'... An' that I'll lose you..." He didn't realize his eyes had teared up until he felt the moisture prick and a droplet slid down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away. Shit... He'd just ruined this whole thing, hadn't he?

As Oriel spoke again, Phen took a deep breath and mustered up a weak smile, trying to get himself to meet Oriel's eyes. "Y-yeah, I know..." Phen traced circles with his fingers against the table. "F-forget I said anythin'. It's n-not that important." That was clearly a lie, but he wanted Oriel to be happy, and he was obviously not now, because of what Phen had said. He stared blankly at his food, feeling like his appetite had vanished.

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What had just been a very jolly, carefree Valentine's Day meal with his boyfriend had quickly turned into something that just made Oriel's heart sink down into his stomach. All those warnings from his friends were now coming back to haunt him, he could hear their voices laughing in his head chanting "I told you so!" over and over. They were definitely going to taunt him over this.

Oriel had thought everything was fine. Phoenix had said it was fine, so that was all he could believe. He wasn't a fucking mind reader, how was he supposed to know if Phoenix was okay with it or not!? Ask him? Well, Oriel did! And Phoenix said it was fine! Oriel wasn't doing anything wrong!

His face had gradually turned from a mere drop in mood all they way down to irritated scowls and a tense jaw.

"I mean... I-I don't hate it..."

That was a lie. Especially when put up with what followed.

"I just....... I get jealous....And scared. That... That you'll decide you like sleepin' and spendin' time with someone else more than me an'... An' that I'll lose you..."

Jealous? Okay, Oriel could understand that, he knew jealousy. He knew fear. But hadn't Oriel reassured him over and over that that wasn't going to happen? That he wasn't going to leave him? He'd shared so much intimacy with Phoenix, so many of his own secrets, some of the hardest parts of his past, nobody knew Oriel better than Phoenix....how could he think that Oriel would rather be with someone else after that? "You know that fucking means practically nothing with other people, right? 'slike...shaking hands or something..." Still didn't sound right...like he was just trying to make excuses.

Oriel kept his eyes down as Phoenix then tried to dismiss the whole matter altogether. He beat his fist down against the table, causing the plates to shake and shudder. "Don't lie to me!" he hissed as he darted his eyes up in a fierce glare. Oriel hated being lied to. And now he had to wonder if that was all? Were there other things that Oriel did that Phoenix hated that he wasn't telling him about? How many others? How could Oriel know if Phoenix never said? Now Oriel was going back and question every single thing he'd ever done to Phoenix, things that the boy seemed to be okay with. What if Phoenix was a better actor than he was letting on and was just pretending to be fine and happy with everything?

What if Phoenix wasn't happy being with Oriel at all? What if he just felt sorry for him and that's why he stuck around, pretending.

No, Oriel, that's ridiculous and you know it. Though knowing did nothing to stop it.

Oriel's breath had gotten heavy as he sat there glaring as his lover, spinning all these delusions in his head, until he stood up suddenly and walked away from the table to plop down on the couch, keeping his back to his lover. He moped there, dejected and pouty, like a child who had just been told he couldn't play with his favorite toy anymore. Which was basically what happened.

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No no no no... Phoenix wanted to bury his face in his hands and curl into a ball to hide from Oriel, from the boy that had been so happy not ten minutes earlier and was now sending off waves of tense, negative energy, all because of Phoenix being stupid for bringing the issue up. He wished he could turn back time and take it back, but it was too late now. He just had to deal with the consequences... As hard as they were to take.

He didn't blame Oriel at all for his behavior. Phoenix had told him he was alright with it, and he had been, but... Well, now that they were getting so serious, all Phen could think about was the years that were ahead of them and spending their lives with each other and...

Still... He had to say something in response to what Oriel was saying. And it sort of slipped out without Phoenix meaning to. "Well... I understand that but..." His gaze slid to the side. ".... You don't want me t'do it either...." he practically mumbled. He was well aware of Oriel's possessive behavior, and though he put up with it, he was... Well, he was getting tired of it being a one-sided thing. He wanted Oriel to himself. All to himself. Was that selfish?

Phoenix jumped visibly as Oriel pounded against the table, trembling and cringing away from the exclamation. "I'm s-s-sorry," he whimpered, curling in on himself and pressing his back against his chair, as though he could sink into it and hide if he tried hard enough.

Of course he wanted to be with Oriel. Of course he did. It was why he put up with everything as much as he did. He loved the boy with all his being and there wasn't anything that would change that.

His face was hidden behind his hands, his elbows perched on his knees that were tucked up against his chest, when Oriel stood, and he stayed that way until he sat himself back down on the couch. Still trembling, he slowly uncurled himself and, after a long moment of hesitation, wavered to his feet and haltingly followed after, depositing himself in front of Oriel on his knees with his gaze still downcast. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, reaching a shaking hand to rest on Oriel's leg. "I love you. I just want you t'be happy. Whatever that takes." He gulped down a deep breath and looked up, eyes still wet with moisture. "I... I wanna spend the rest of my life with you if I... If I can... If you'll have me..." He stuttered off into silence, terrified.

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Fuck this was terrible, where the hell did the happy mood go? Oriel hated feeling like this, he hated feeling like shit, like he couldn't trust people, like he had no choice but to push them away just so he could keep himself from getting hurt. He wanted it to go away, but it just kept coming back like a fucking boomerang. And then it'd just spin and spin until he couldn't see straight and everyone was an enemy.

Phoenix was trying, Oriel knew he was, but what he was saying just wasn't helping. "Is that what this is about?" he accused. "You want to fuck other people and you think I won't let you? You wanna fuck Dimples there right? Go ahead, you just gotta ask instead of fucking sneaking around!" His voice was raising along with his temper. He felt like he was being accused of doing something wrong, it was no wonder he went immediately on the defensive. Though the rational side of him was trying desperately to keep him at bay.

Phoenix wasn't accusing. He said he was jealous. He was afraid Oriel would leave. He wanted to be exclusive because he didn't want to share. Oriel didn't want to share Phoenix either. He wanted Phoenix all to himself. Phoenix was just doing the same thing. Because that's how much he loved Oriel.

Right?

Oriel needed to get away. He just needed a moment to take it all in, calm himself down. That's why he left the table. Why he didn't leave the room was probably because he didn't want leave Phoenix behind. Even so, he was hoping….what was he hoping? He wanted Phoenix to come after him, yet he didn't want him to. He wanted Phoenix nearby, but he didn't want to be prodded into responding before he was ready.

Oriel didn't look back when Phoenix followed him to the sofa, nor when he rested himself on Oriel's lap. He was listening, but he didn't want to. He was angry, guiltily, cornered, distressed, and hearing the pain in Phoenix's voice was just escalating his own.

Slowly, and still without looking up, Oriel slid one hand down to meet up with Phoenix's and he took his lover's hand in his own. He held it there for a few moments, trying to concentrate only on the presence of his love. With a slow, deep breath, Oriel squeezed Phoenix's hand before shifting to raise himself from the couch and he left to his bedroom without a word, closing the door behind him.

Oriel would not emerge again for several minutes.

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Shit, Phen regretted saying that too. He bit his lip and cringed, expecting the snappy reply. Still, it didn't sting any less. "I don't want t'fuck anyone else," he mewled, wishing he had his long bangs again to hide his face. "I don't. G-Gryph's my friend, nothin' else, I swear!" While it was true he occasionally fantasized it.... He couldn't. He just wouldn't be able to. Gryph was too close to him as a best friend to potentially ruin what they had with sex. "I'm n-not sneakin' around, I'd never do that t'you..." He couldn't even fathom it. "Please, Oriel...." He didn't even know what h was pleading for anymore. Just for Oriel to be happy again? But Phen had taken that away...

He wasn't sure if following Oriel was the best idea.... What if the boy snapped? Or ignored him? Phoenix didn't know what would be worse. But it was too late now, so he just fell silent after his... Little speech, or whatever it was. He didn't know what he wanted Oriel to say back, how he wanted him to respond. The silence was killing Phen, though; why didn't he scream, growl, say something?

Finally, Phen blinked as Oriel's hand slipped into his own, and though the boy didn't say anything, it was enough to calm the pixie boy... A tiny bit. He stayed silent, unsure what to do next, but before he knew it Oriel was standing and leaving and.... And what!? "Or-" Phen began, but he snapped his mouth shut when he realized he would probably just be making it worse. So he let the boy go, anxiety flooding through him once more. What did this mean? What was Oriel thinking?

There was no way for Phoenix to know, so he eventually pushed himself up onto the couch and curled up on his side facing the back of the couch, clutching a pillow against his chest as he let a few small sobs escape. He'd ruined the night, he'd ruined everything, what had he been thinking...? Oriel had been so happy, and Phen had just destroyed it! As the minutes ticked by, he slowly fell back into silence, though he didn't wipe the dampness from his cheeks. He'd let Oriel come back in his own time... However long it took.

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Oriel wanted to believe Phoenix. He wanted to believe him so badly, but memories of the other horrible day when he freaked out from overhearing what was probably an innocent declaration of friendship-love, but he still had the seed in him that it meant more than what Phoenix had insisted it to be. With that overshadowing this, Oriel wasn't sure what to believe anymore. And he was letting his stupid paranoia distress Phoenix and….fuck! Why couldn't Oriel just act like a fucking normal person!? Why couldn't he just stop it, ignore it, take comfort in what Phoenix was trying to tell him.

And in a way he did. Every time Oriel freaked out like this or displayed his possessiveness in such a hostile manner, he half expected Phoenix to finally get fed up with him and his insecurities and walk out the door. The fact that he didn't, that he stayed and kept trying to reassure the panicked boy, while it made him feel pathetic, it also made him feel like Phoenix's desire to stay by his side was genuine. And that Oriel was actually worth all the distress he put him through.

Oriel was worth it. That's the message he got when Phoenix decided to come after him and kneel in front of him instead of just staying away. He was still too upset and distressed to speak or face Phoenix, but he could at least offer some sort of physical response to let Phoenix know that he was okay…or that he was going to be okay. Oriel just needed a little bit more time. Time to be alone, time to think things through, time to decide what it was he was going to do.

That's why he left the room when he did. It was about ten minutes before he re-emerged from the bedroom, his eyes red, but his face leagues calmer than it had been when he went in. Oriel stopped when he reached the common room, his eyes dropping at the sight of his lover curled up on the couch like he was. He took for what seemed like the millionth deep breath he'd taken that night and stepped over to the couch, kneeling down and gently placing a hand on Phoenix's shoulder. Oriel slid his other arm underneath that thin mass and pulled him in, burying his face into the nook of his lover's neck. "….Sorry…." he mumbled.

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Oriel was absolutely worth it in Phoenix's eyes. And there was nothing, Phen was certain, that would change that. The only thing that would get him to leave Oriel was if the boy asked him to... And he desperately hoped that that would never happen. He would be a wreck... And that was putting it lightly.

He just... He wished this sort of stuff didn't have to happen. He didn't think either of them were to blame, and at the same time, they both were. They were both paranoid and clingy and so dependent on the other's affection and attention that anything that deviated from that just exploded like this. Phoenix wished he could think of a way to change that. So while he lay there on the couch, taking shaky, shivery breaths, he let an idea start to bud in his mind. He had no idea if Oriel would like it at all, but.... It was something that, the more Phen thought about it, the more he was convinced it might help, at least a little. He supposed he'd find out.... Once Oriel came back to him.

The creak of the door signaled to him that his boyfriend had reemerged, but Phen stayed where he was, not knowing what to expect. He hoped Oriel had calmed down; he hoped he wasn't angrier, letting things brew. So when he felt the boy's arms slip around him, Phen tensed for a moment, then relaxed, rolling over to face his lover with cautious eyes. "D... Don't be sorry," he finally murmured back, reaching up to caress the side of Oriel's face with his hand. "I should't've brought it up... Not tonight." He took another deep breath. "I... I ruined our night...." His lower lip trembled, and he clung more tightly to Oriel, tugging on him a bit to join him on the couch.

"I... I th-thought of an idea... While you were...." Phen trailed off, looking away. It was obvious he still felt incredibly guilty. "I-I dunno if you'll like it though." His fingers slipped to trace shapes against the smooth, tawny skin of Oriel's neck; at least, he thought, things seemed to be better now. not perfect, but better.