Should Have Seen This Coming (Oriel)[Trigger Warning]

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Kodi would stop drinking. He'd stop drinking, he'd throw out all his bottles of shit in the closet, hell, he'd go to fucking rehab if he had to to get over what was probably an addiction to the stuff, or at least an extremely unhealthy reliance on it. He was so dumb for letting this happen in the first place. What did he think was going to happen if he and Oriel drank together? They'd just laugh and be friends and goof off until one of them left or they just passed out? Kodi was dumb to even think that.

But it had happened and there was no way to take it back now. Kodi could only watch with guilt as Gryph suffered through what he'd done, wishing there was something he could do to just... Make it all go away.

He jerked back when Gryphon snapped at him, his face going pale. He'd never seen or heard the older boy like that, and it frightened him. "I do!" he protested. "I didn't want that! He forced himself on me!" Yeah, blame it all on Oriel. Kodi didn't care what happened to the ink manipulator, as long as Gryphon didn't hate him. "Y'have t'believe me!"

Kodi stopped when the boy spat at him again, slowly resting back to stay in place. His fingers dug into the grass, tearing at the blades. After a moment, he leaned back on his arms, his brain going fuzzier the longer this went on. The alcohol was strong in his system by now. "Wha.... Whadayou mean?" he slurred, looking pathetically at the older boy. "I gotta... We gotta... I'm so sorry..." It was getting harder to form coherent thoughts, and harder to make them into words. "I promise I'll stop drinkin'... I'll... I won't be 'lone with Oriel no more..." Kodi drifted to the side until he eventually was laying on his side. Maybe I'll just sleep here, he thought drunkenly. "Please dun hate meee....."

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

They might've been metas, but Gryphon was pretty certain that none of them had the ability to change the past. This was something that had happened, as much as Gryph wished he could push it away and deny it. He wanted to, he wanted to suddenly wake up or something and realize it was a stupid nightmare, or that he was just imagining things, but he needed to stop blanketing himself from the truth so much. Bad things happened in the world, and he could not change that. And bad things would happen to him, and he couldn't change that either. That was how life was. He just had to deal with it.

He hadn't meant to sound like... that - since when did Gryph ever speak like that? - but he was pissed. That didn't give him good reason to be mean, but he wasn't in the right headset yet to be realizing that. Believe him? "How can I? I didn't want that, he says," He parroted back condescendingly, "You're not a fuckin' weakling, Kodi! If you didn't want it, you would've kept him away!" That was what it felt like to Gryph. Kodi knew what he wanted, and if he wanted something, he wasn't delicate about it; so something wasn't right here.

Gryph's breathing was back to normal but he felt duller. Especially after realizing his words and regretting them. His face fell into an expression representative of something sympathetic, as Kodi's ability to function began to waver. This is what he meant - his state of mind was too weak for him to concentrate on something like this, and it was important to both of them that he did know what he was saying, so this couldn't continue any further, at least not today. He began slurring out promises about the alcohol and about Oriel but Gryphon ignored them, frowning as Kodi seemed to sway sideways. Even with the plea that asked him not to hate the boy, he still said nothing. Instead, he finally unwrapped himself. He needed to get Kodi back into bed so he could sleep somewhere decent.

Gryph surpressed any leftover emotions, which were weaker now anyway, and went to crouch beside his boyfriend. He took up one of the boy's arms and looped it around his shoulders, deeming himself that Kodi was too incapacitated to walk safely by himself. He looped his own arm around the drunken boy's waist and pulled him up, hoping that Kodi might stabilize or support himself a little at least before he tried moving at all.

[Deleted]

Kodi cringed at Gryphon's words. He was right - if he really hadn't wanted it, he could've fought back more. Oriel was strong, but Kodi was too. In fact he could hesitantly say he had more upper body strength, due to his fitness regimen. But that wasn't important now. "He took me by surprise," Kodi said plaintively. "I didn't have time t'react, he was just on me, and then you were there...!" Okay, it had lasted a little longer and that, but Gryph didn't know! "I even pushed myself onto the bed t'get away, an' he still came after me! That's why we were up there!"

He didn't know what else to argue. His head was too fuzzy. Kodi just wanted to sleep and forget this had ever happened, as though Gryph would forgive him after a night's rest and it would all be better. But he knew, even in this state, knew he was kidding himself.

Kodi grunted as he felt his arm being moved, and peered up at the older boy with watery eyes, not fighting an inch as Gryphon tried to get him up. "Why're you helpin' me?" he slurred, his voice quiet and sad. "All I do is hurt you. I hurt you again. I don't deserve this." Still, he let himself be pulled to his feet, and rested heavily against Gryph's side, not trusting his own legs. Kodi stumbled a little as they walked back to his dorm, but he managed to keep to his feet for the most part, with Gryph's help.

Oriel was, of course, gone by the time they made it back. Kodi's room was a bit of a mess, with bottle and fluids strewn on the floor, but the dentokinetic was in no shape to clean. He flopped on the bed and groaned, looking sadly at his companion. "Please don't leave me," he begged. "Not ever." Kodi clutched at Gryph's clothes, knowing he was in no position to ask such a thing, but unable to stop himself. "I just don't want to be alone!"

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

This just sounded too sketchy to Gryph. He got on to the bed to get away? Of course - not because people are usually on a bed to do that sort of thing. He wasn't sure if he was in the wrong for assuming that Kodi had done something wrong somewhere, but... argh! There was no point thinking about this now! Gryph just sighed loudly and clenched his jaw, saying nothing more on the matter. There was no point in wasting his breath.

He looked at Kodi and spoke, "Just 'cause I'm angry," he re-adjusted his arms a little, "Doesn't mean I'm gonna kick you to the curb." He countered for Kodi's weight against him, walking carefully, and laughing once in annoyance at his talk about deserving. For once, Gryphon was inclined to agree with him, "Maybe you don't," he said, but he didn't stop helping him. Even with all of this, Kodi was still his boyfriend - he wasn't gonna suddenly desert him even if he was absolutely livid. He didn't agree that Kodi only hurt him, but the guy was drunk. He probably wasn't keeping track of his words.

When they reached his room, Gryphon looked around at the minor havoc. It still stunk of alcohol. The older boy considered possibly cleaning it up after Kodi had passed out or something but he wasn't sure if he had the effort or the energy. The dentokinetic's pleas scratched at his concern and he softened for a moment, attempting to pull his hands off of his clothing gently and taking up one of them and squeezing it, "I'm not... gonna leave you..." He murmured, flicking his eyes at Kodi, "You're not gonna be alone. But you need to calm down and sleep or somethin'." Gryph let go of him and looked around again. Jesus Christ... what was he gonna do...

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Kodi gave a tiny, pathetic, drunk whimper at Gryph's words. "You're such a good person," he slurred, seeing only unbreakable loyalty in his older lover. He felt all teary-eyed. How had he ended up with someone that was doing this for him? Kodi didn't understand it. Karma must be fake as hell. Still... At least it sounded like Gryph agreed with his lack of deserving. "I'll make up for it, I swear!" he dumbly rambled on. He didn't know how he would, but... He would! "I'll... I'll work really really hard every day so I can graduate an' see you every day," he promised. "I'll... I'll find a new hobby t'occupy me from thinkin' 'bout sex." Because, yes, he totally did consider fantasizing about fucking various people a hobby... Not that anyone knew.

Kodi rolled pathetically on the bed, feeling half-sleepy, half-still panicked that Gryph was going to decide he wasn't worth it and break up with him then and there, now that he was in the comfort of his bed. So when the older boy pried his hands away only to take them and hold them, Kodi stilled and looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. "You're not?" he whimpered, clinging to Gryph's hands. "I-I'm okay, I'm okay, I just... I can't... Not have you..." Maybe it was the alcohol (hint, yes, it was partially the alcohol), but the tears that had been wetting Kodi's yes finally started trailing down his cheeks. "I'm calm. I'll sleep. Whatever... Whatever you want." He looked down at his hands as Gryph pulled away, before slowly lowering himself down on his side and resting his head on one of his pillows. Kodi's eyelids fluttered. "Are you gonna stay the night?" he whispered hopefully.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

"Don't try to gain my favour while you're like this," Gryph said, scowling a little. The things that Kodi had mentioned were promising, and that's why he didn't want him saying them now. Gryphon didn't want to build up hope and then find it misplaced - if he was going to hear those promises, he was gonna hear them coming from the mouth of a sober boy, and not one that could barely stand on his own two feet.

Even with all this madness, and how angry and confused and betrayed he was feeling, Gryphon wasn't going to leave Kodi. Not physically, as in running back home, and not emotionally, as in the idea of breaking up with him. He'd been flimsy in the past but he wasn't gonna be that way now. "I'm not going anywhere." He assured the drunken boy, frowning as he saw Kodi cry. Yes, okay, he was being nice about this. He could get serious when the time was suitable for it. "Alright." He said, as he sighed and knelt down to collect up the empty bottles. He almost didn't hear Kodi's question, and when he did, he sat back on his heels. Gryphon knew he couldn't stay over the whole night, but he didn't want to risk upsetting the boy while he was drifting off. "I'll stay for as long as I can." He said softly - he could say that honestly, at least.

Gryph looked at the dentokinetic again. Usually, he would've kissed him on the forehead or something, as a comfort, but he just didn't want to. He would probably be more affectionate once they sorted this out, hopefully. Because they were going to sort this out.

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Kodi whimpered but said no more on the subject. He'd never seen Gryph like this before, ever, and wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Seeing the normally so calm, collected, and forgiving boy like this just shot needles into his heart, knowing that he'd been the cause of it. Even drunk, Kodi felt awful and guilty and not at all like he normally did when he was like this.

He sniffled and snuffled pathetically as Gryphon promised he wouldn't go anywhere. "Th-th-thank you," he mumbled, not realizing his eyeliner was running now. Kodi probably wouldn't have cared at the moment anyway. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but he knew this problem was far from over even if they seemed to be done talking about it for the night. He was starting to drowse so much that he hardly noticed Gryph cleaning up the mess he and Oriel had made. "I lub you," he gargled in his drunk, half-awake state. Maybe he'd meant to say "I owe you".

Or maybe not.

Before too much longer, Kodi's eyes fluttered, and he passed out. If Gryphon left, he would be too far gone to notice until the morning, upon which he would wake up with a killer headache and in a panic, regretting what he'd done with all his might and madly texting Gryphon for forgiveness.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon had a good reason to be like this. He didn't like it either, but it was kind of necessary - because there was being forgiving, and then there was being a pushover. And Gryph knew how prone he was to being pushed around, and he didn't like that fact. Nobody liked being used.

Maybe he was thinking too negatively. He knew how upset Kodi was about this, he obviously cared about what was going on. It didn't recover what he did, but it was better than if he had been laughing about it.

He didn't reply to the thanks Kodi gave. He was just struggling to stay functioning. He felt very overwhelmed, and extremely out of his comfort zone, and he needed to think about this and organize his thoughts, but he couldn't exactly do that right now and even whilst being angry at Kodi, his crying was still making his heart ache. Shit.

Gryphon wasn't expecting Kodi to say much else, so he kept quiet himself. But then... that. He almost dropped the bottles he was holding. His eyes went wide and his heart squeezed, but he struggled. He was still feeling very much torn about the earlier events, and now... this?! He almost felt like he couldn't breathe. That wasn't fair. Fuck this, fuck all of it. He said nothing in return, his mind was whirring far too far, whilst being far too blank for him to ever think of one competent word to say. Gryph finished tidying up as quickly as possible, and then exited.

He didn't sleep at all that night. He just couldn't, no matter how tired he was, how much he tossed and turned and tried to relax, his mind was working too fast. So he spent the hours of his night sat on his bed, thinking. And then he left his house and made his way to the lake, where he sat cross-legged in the grass and let the gentle atmosphere calm his nerves. When his phone began to blow up, he didn't realize - he'd left it at home. But he was more prepared to face all of this now.