Time Warp: I Got A Bulletproof Heart (Sean)

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“Those are two separate issues,” Sean explained. He followed her point, but he wanted her to understand that there differed the skill sets, such as empathy and patience, and then the psychiatric knowledge that would come through formal education, and then proper decorum.

“You and I should have a talk about the difference between work persona and life persona,” the psychiatrist replied. “Any sort of professional has an ethical obligation to separate their work persona from their life persona, because patients and clients should have confidence that the professional they need is able to differentiate the two and able to prioritize their work obligations. In the medical profession, and particularly in mental health, it’s all the more important that we do that. Our patients can’t open up to us, can’t feel safe with us, can’t trust us, if we can’t demonstrate that we care more about them than about minor inconveniences to ourselves. The reason you won’t wear zombie stilettos isn’t for your colleagues, it will be for your patients.”

Sean had been a 1970s radical in college. He still considered himself to be a hippie. Despite all of that, he came to work every day dressed neatly in a suit and tie. He still had his bell-bottoms from college, and he wore them on weekends or while he was out. He wore sweatshirts at home or when out about town. He wore a leather jacket sometimes, and there were the myriad costumes that he and Josh had acquired, together and individually, over the decades. None of those were appropriate work attire, but he could wear them outside of work.

“What you do on your own time, outside of work, is yours, and as long as you don’t get arrested, it doesn’t matter how you dress there. You don’t have to stop being yourself if you become a psychiatrist. You just have to exercise proper judgment.”

[Deleted]

Work persona and life persona? That sounded no bueno to Brooke. Though she listened to the Doc elaborate on the topic. She was supposed to be taking this shiz seriously, after all, and Brooke was seriously serious about her future planning and career options. She def didn’t want to end up working at some crappy retail store all her life, though if it were cool enough, she might just do it for the duration of college.

That explanation, though…it was a lot better than the dribble that she’d heard from other sources(which shall remain nameless) who said that it “just wasn’t professional” and left it at that, as if she were an idiot for even considering putting any sort of personality into her “professional” life. Brooke herself didn’t really see anything wrong with having her own style in how she presented herself for the workplace - honestly, she wasn’t going to wear zombie stilettos, but zombie earrings might be a possibility - and had the opinion that that let the ‘customer’ know that while professional, she was also a human being who cared and not some drone who was paid to listen.

Then again, Brooke hadn’t felt that way about Dr. Neville during the years they’d been doctor and patient, and he was probably just as human as the rest of them. Brooke just hadn’t the opportunity to see any of that in their sessions because he clearly kept those personal things out of the office.

Brooke knew he was right, she just wasn’t pleased with the reality. She leaned back in her chair and protruded a lip. “Just seems silly that people would assume me less capable of something over a pair of shoes,” she pouted. “Don’t know if I wanna be trapped in a job that expects ya to lose any sense of personality while your doing it.” Brooke might want to keep Adventure Time figurines on her desk at some point. Would people think less of her for doing that too? “People’re sooo judgmental, what’s society coming to~?” she said dramatically, resting the back of her hand to her forehead and arching her neck backwards.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Despite all appearances to the contrary, and despite certain rumors that floated around the school, Sean Neville was as human as anyone else. He possessed a very human needs, desires, and foibles. In intimate moments, with close friends, with family members, with his partner, he allowed others to see just how much he was like everyone else, simply with a greater sense of personal responsibility and a better ability to deflect than most other people. However, that better ability to deflect and greater sense of responsibility also mandated and allowed him to keep most of that out of his interactions with students.

He empathized with them. He offered them advice. He helped them to problem solve. He listened to everything they had to say and avoided passing judgment. But he kept his professional persona and his life persona separate, and that was how he had managed to become the skilled psychiatrist who sat in the chair across the desk from the students he saw day in and day out.

He believed that Brooke was capable of that, even if she would not have the benefits of telepathy, including the necessary skill of separating one’s thoughts from one’s body language and expression. (Something he had first developed to get through the day after manifesting his telepathy and which he had converted into an invaluable tool both at Hammel and at home.) She still had some growing to do, which included gaining perspective, but she was young yet and had plenty of time to grow into those responsibilities and the requisite mindsets.

At her comment, he spread his hands vaguely. “It isn’t just a pair of shoes; it’s what the shoes, or the clothing, or a tasteful but ultimately inappropriate work of art represent. Mental health providers play a unique role for other people; they unburden themselves to us, and it requires implicit trust. They have to feel that they can open up to us, and we have to meet them more than halfway in that.”

This was the simple truth of this profession.

Then he lifted his eyebrow slightly, a simple way of calling into question the conclusion she had drawn. “If you think that this job is restrictive, you should think about the laundry list of jobs where you would be fired outright for violating the dress code.” Many jobs required some degree of professional attire or uniforms. The difference was that, while a teacher or an attorney might be fired for failing to meet that, he, and she, would only find themselves without patients. Or, if she chose to follow in his footsteps entirely and work in this capacity, she joined teachers in the same dress code obligations.

Then, he shook his head slightly, because he heard the other thought, and she had drawn the wrong conclusion there. “You can keep mementos in your office, if that’s what you like. My reasons for not putting keepsakes up has nothing to do with professionalism.”

[Deleted]

What the shoes represent? They represented the fact that Brooke liked zombies. That she was fashion conscious, with a bit of zany flair. She still didn’t understand how someone could get so worked up and think of her as a bad practitioner over a pair of shoes. She mulled over this information, picking at the dirt under her fingernails. Meet them more than halfway, she thought. It made sense. Because remembered so many times that she wouldn’t even do that much when she was stuck in a hole. If Dr. Neville hadn’t followed those kind of standards, then Brooke might not have been able to pull herself out.

Her smile came back, however, at his next statement, and she giggled like a sheepish little girl, curling up in her chair slightly. “Lol, that’d be a nightmare,” she said through her sniggers. Brooke had no intention of getting a job at one of those places that required a uniform. She wanted something respectable as her first job. Well…as respectable as possible which she could manage with only a high school degree. Maybe a secretary somewhere, or at a mom and pop gift shop. Brooke had no desire to lock herself into an office job either, but she could use it as an opportunity to see how much she could get away with in her dress before they told her ‘no’. The idea tickled her.

Dr. Neville probably didn’t approve, though, of her plans, and she half expected him to say something. She’d gotten more than used to Dr. Neville making commentary on her thoughts before she spoke them. Like on the issue of knickknacks in the office. “Define mementos,” she uttered, tilting her head to the side. Because surely her memento of a mini guillotine(it wasn’t sharp by any means) was inappropriate to keep in an office.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean conceded that with a nod. “I’m given to understand that.” He had never worked at a job that required a uniform, which was one of the many privileges afforded to him throughout his life for belonging to the upper-middle class. More than that, he actually enjoyed wearing a suit, even if he dressed casually outside of work. He certainly liked wearing a suit more than the average food service worker enjoyed wearing a Burger King uniform. “My point is that we all dress up for work, and keeping zombies to your off time is less of an imposition than most jobs require.”

Sean then made a sweeping gesture at the top of his desk, calling attention to the fact that he kept nothing personal atop it. He had the computer, his assorted supplies, and his in pile and out pile, in addition to the desk clock. He did not have any personal photographs, or any models or souvenirs from vacations on his desk, contrasted with his study at his house, or his office back when he had practiced in Manhattan. “I don’t keep anything personal or valuable here because accidents happen.”

In particular, fires happened, gusts of wind happened, electrical surges happened, and items disappeared into dimensional pockets, never to return. He could never forgive himself if he allowed something to happen, and since he knew the risks of taking them to Hammel, he had to keep them at home.

[Deleted]

Brooke followed the doctors hand movements as he indicated all of the places in his office where there wasn’t anything personal of his. It was true, and Brooke can’t say she hadn’t noticed before, but it did make the whole office appear very….boring. Dr. Neville was certainly not a boring person to talk to, but the impression the office gave…it’s a wonder he didn’t fall asleep in here. Actually, Brooke wouldn’t be surprised if he did fall asleep in his office, just like a student did in class, when nobody was looking.

But he did make a good point. “Sooo…if I wanted to bring anything to adorn my office space with…just gotta make sure it’s expendable?” Guess the guillotine stayed at home. And probably anything else she couldn’t afford to part with permanently pending some unforeseen accident. Brooke supposed she could live with that, if it was to protect her things rather than because they were too “Brooke” for the office.

Heh heh, but she was getting ahead of herself here. Brooke hadn’t even graduated high school yet and she was already thinking about how she was going to decorate(or not decorate) her office, pending she ever got one. She giggled again and sat forward in her seat. “Well, Sir Dr. Neville,” she started. “I think….” Brooke smiled and put her finger to her chin. “I think I’mma try ’n go for it. Definitely do the psychology thing, cuz interesting, but…when I get to deciding on med school…” She paused a moment and looked down. “Wul, I don’t have to figure that out now, I guess.” That was right, right? It just seemed like a lot of people expected you to know where you were going by this point. Her parents had always been supportive, but even they were wondering what her future plans were. Her major was about all she figured out so far.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

By contrast, Sean liked his office. While it lacked a fair number of personal touches that he had had back in New York, the furniture was comfortable, the view was lovely during the good weather, and the space was private, which he valued more than anything else. He shared this office with no other mental health workers and no other members of the administration, which made it his far more

“If you wanted to bring anything personal to your office, you do it at your own peril. If you can part with it, then there’s no reason to leave it at home, but you should think twice about any given item if it’s meaningful to you. Otherwise you’ll learn the hard way the first time someone starts a fire in your office.” At any other school, this would be an exaggeration, but instead, not only did Sean speak from experience, he considered it a common occupation hazard for his job title.

He smiled at her surety, because he liked to hear it. He thought that Brooke would find her place, if she choose to pursue this work to the best of her ability and put her nose to the grindstone to get through the academic rigors. It would be a long journey, but it remained one that he thought she would complete. “If you ever have questions about it, now or after you graduate, you can always ask me,” he reassured her. “My door is open to former students as well as current ones, you know.”

[Deleted]

A fire in the office! “That sounds terrifying…and exciting!” she said with a bright smile. And if she managed to succeed Dr. Neville when she was done(or even just come back as one of the counselors), then the potential excitement from working with meta-children would be well worth it. Call it her own twisted sense of enjoyment, having those kind of risks possible. Brooke was definitely someone who liked living on the edge. And if she happened to help some of those students at the same time, all the better!

Brooke sent the doctor one final nod, sensing that this session was starting to come to a close. It had been a good one. Brooke sat up in her chair, but did not stand until she was certain that she was excused. “I will,” she gleed with a mighty thumbs up. “Promise! I’mma make you proud, and I’mma be the very best that no one ever was!” If she got stuck somewhere, Dr. Neville was the first person she’d put on her list of persons to seek advice from, most definitely.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean did not share her enthusiasm at the memory of errant fires. “I wouldn’t call it exciting.” At best, they were frustrating and dangerous. At worst, they were terrifying, depending on how out of control they were, how big they were, and whether the student had set them deliberately due to anger or completely by accident, at which point panic set in.

Such were the occupational hazards of working at a school for meta-humans learning to control their powers.

The psychiatrist sensed that Brooke had gotten as much out of this conversation as she would, andhe considered that a good note one which to end. As such, he shifted slightly in his chair, subtly letting her know that she was free to leave whenever she desired. “I have no doubt that you’ll make me proud,” he replied, and the skin around his eyes crinkled with the smile that touched his lips. He had high expectations for Brooke, even if some of the other faculty had less than that for her. He could make up the difference.

“I also expect you to send me a pennant or sticker from your college so that I can show it off.” He intended that only half as humor. He certainly would display it if she sent one.

[Deleted]

Brooke was determined to make not only Dr. Neville, but also her parents more than proud of her. True, her parents wanted her to come back to Denver and go to the university there, but Brooke had spend a grand portion of her meta-life here in Vermont and…well, she wasn’t quite ready to leave and fact the outside world yet. First she had to leave Hammel without any problems and survive without their support. Then once she finished college, maybe she’d venture out further than Vermont to see how she fared on her own. Brooke wasn’t sure how well she would do in the end, but she was also a tenacious little kitty. She had no intention of giving in to herself again, not like last year.

Brooke saw the signal and slowly stood from her seat. “Thank you Dr. Neville,” she said. “It’s been a pleasure being your patient.” She spoke as if it’d be the last time they ever saw each other, though that certainly wasn’t true. Brooke would be back when she felt she needed it.

As she started to the door, Brooke looked over her shoulder to the man behind the desk. “Kaay~” She’d get him one. Probably. With that, she skipped out into the hallway.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“It’s been a pleasure working with you,” he replied, wanting to have that serious moment, as this might be their last meeting before her graduation. Sean had attended two dozen graduation ceremonies, and despite sitting as close as he could in the designated staff section, he rarely had the opportunity to interact with the graduates. They were always too busy with the achievement and with pictures with their friends and families to do more than wave and smile, if they even did that. If they did not see each other before graduation, then they would not get to talk until after she had a diploma, and when she no longer was his patient.

That would be an adjustment. She had seen him for five years.

However, he would adjust, as he did with the graduation of each of his students. He was always so proud to see them move on and grow into the outside world.

“Do well on your finals,” he wished her with a smile, as he bounced out the door. He expected that she would at least put in an effort, since these were her last set of tests. And if she wanted to go to medical school, she would have to put in more of an effort. Now was as good a time as any to start.

Then, with her gone, he reached for her file, prepared to close it out.