The Danish Invasion (A.J.)

[Deleted]

Dated October 28, 2014

Oriel was hungry.

Which was weird, considering that the past several weeks had his appetite practically non-existent. And now it was like Revenge of the Hunger Pangs, coming about in full force! Which was...he wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. It had to be good, right? Because the alternative was definitely not.

Anyway, aside from the extreme hunger, Oriel was feeling good. Pretty darned good. Amazingly good. There were a number of possible reasons for this. 1. He put himself out there and got himself a job at the place he wanted. 2. He put himself out there and (hopefully) reconciled things (or at least he tried to) with Gryphon(he still wasn't exactly sure what the other boy thought). 3. He put himself out there(lots of putting out lately, since he couldn't really do it in his usual style) and made a fiancee(of all things) out of his boyfriend. Or 4. The medication was messing with his head something funky again. Which, again, he wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Either way! Oriel had a mission and he accomplished it with glory holes!! (wat?) Or something. Never mind! The point was that Oriel had money and he could spend it on anything he wanted, including a giant box of assorted danishes in order to alleviate his hunger.

Oriel hummed as he traipsed to the dorm building, his hands completely full with the box of pastries(and one hanging out his mouth) with a few bags(paper) of real food(and other assorted items) clustered within the wrap of his arms. He stopped at the front of doors of said building and stared at the door that said "pull".

Helplessly.

He gnawed on the danish. Mmm, raspberry.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ was walking back towards the dorm building, after spending a long few hours in one of the computer labs working on an essay. She yawned as she made her way there, catching sight of a familiar head of hair in front of her, standing at the door. It was Oriel, she was sure of it as she got closer and his hands were completely full. "Ori," she said, picking up her pace to a swift walk. She didn't remember the last time she'd seen him...

Actually, she did. It had just been a while. Since the end of August actually when she and Oliver had their first therapy session and they'd ran into him. He seemed to be in a bad place then. He looked beat up and he had been quite angry, threatening Oliver, but leaving before his anger got the better of him. AJ had appreciated that, and while she'd worried about him and tried to find time to seek him out and ask him what had happened, she'd just had so much going on and she felt bad now, upon seeing him. Everything had been a mess at that time for both of them. "Wait up!" she said, although it didn't really seem as if he was going anywhere.

When she reached him, most of her brunette waves had fallen out of her poorly tied ponytail and she saw that he was eating a danish and didn't look rather unhappy at all. "It's been so long," she said. "I texted you once, but you didn't reply and....how are you?" She'd been rambling.

[Deleted]

If Oriel had three hands….then he might be able to open the door. Or if he had monkey feet. Or, better yet, if he had telekinesis. Then opening a simple door with his hands full would be child’s play. Why’d he get such a boring(not boring, really), inappropriate(for him) power again?

He continued to gnaw on the pastry, pulling just a little bit more into his mouth so that it didn’t fall from the point of bite. He thought he heard something…or someone….yeeesssss, yes he had. And that voice was the very sweet, soft voice of none other than….

“Mmfhyy(AJ),” he garbled. Oriel’s eyes brightened up at the sight of her, pleased to see a friendly face and savior(that is, someone to open the door for him). Conversely, Oriel couldn’t remember the last time they’d seen each o—oh, no wait…..right, that happened, didn’t it? Rather than not remember, Oriel just couldn’t believe that it had really been that long since they’d last talked and that that was the last thing she’d remember of him if he had somehow kicked it between then and now.

A morbid thought, but Oriel found it relevant for reasons that weren’t important.

“Muhf mugfufd muh?(You texted me?)” Oriel looked down at her in surprise, thinking back to see if he even remembered getting it…he was sure he did, but the past several weeks had been…bad…especially that period shortly after they’d last met. The days had just been…endless… “Murry(sorry),” he continued, making no move to remove the food from his cheeks. "Muug(good). Uhna(kinda)."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"You realize that I can't really make out a word you're saying, right?" AJ asked him, looking at him in disbelief as he continued to go on and on with a mouth full of pastry. The one thing she did make out was that he'd said sorry, presumably for not replying to her text. He seemed to be doing a lot better now. His face was healed and he was smiling over at AJ despite their last interaction. "I still should have tried to talk to you earlier anyway, so don't worry about it," she told him. "I...something happened, between you and Phen, didn't it?" He'd reacted so badly when she'd mentioned his name last time and not to mention he'd threatened Oliver. "I've been meaning to talk to you. I've been worried."

She saw how full his hands were and opened the door for him so that he could go inside without spilling his pastries all over the cement.

[Deleted]

“Mrumfy?(Really?)” And here Oriel thought everyone could understand garble. Oh, well. Though there was little he could do with his hands full, and he really didn’t want to drop the pastry. So his only choice was to eat it quickly, or wait until he had a moment to put things down and eat it properly. Right?

For a second, Oriel was thinking about the other thing that happened between him and Phoenix recently instead of the more obvious thing that AJ was talking about. And he wondered exactly how she knew already? Did Phoenix tell her? But…he couldn’t talk about it with his mouth full!!! “Mmmmmffff!!” he whined, wanting to share the news with his good friend, even going as far as to do the impatient dance until she finally opened the door and let him inside.

Oriel didn’t even bother heading upstairs, he had to get this out now. Here. So his first stop was to the common room where he set the bags and box on the counter that held the tea and coffeemaker. Then he finally pulled the danish from his lips and quickly worked to swallow what was already in his mouth. Then he turned to where he presumed AJ had followed him to. “Yes! Something did happen!” he confirmed, his excitement inappropriate to what she was really asking about. But first… “…how much do you know? How much did he tell you?” Because he assumed that Phoenix had gone bragging to all his friends already, and AJ certainly fell into that realm.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ rolled her eyes as he continued to garble words with food in his mouth, her eyebrows further knitting into confusion as she tried to attempt to understan what he was saying. When she tried to bring up would had obviously happened between him and Phen, his reaction was not what she expected. Perhaps she was misinterpreting it, as she was having trouble undestanding him. She finally gave in and opened the door for him. Maybe he'd finally set down all of the pastries and finish the one he was eating. She followed him towards the first floor common room and stood with her arms crossed waiting for him to finally speak in coherent English.

"What's with the pastries?" she asked as he set everything down and freed up his mouth for conversation, but she definitely hadn't misinterpreted him. He sounded excited. Gleeful, even. Worry lines creased her forehead, as she was a cross between worried and confused. Was he satisfied that things had gotten messed up between him and Phen to a point that seemed sadistic? Or was he talking about something else? She didn't follow... "Ori...what are you...? The last time I saw you in the hallway you had a black eye. And Phen didn't look well the last time I saw him either."

[Deleted]

The pastries? “I’m hungry,” he said matter-of-factly. Why else would he be eating? If he wasn’t so out of his head with excitement over the exciting news so excitedly, then he might have actually explained the part about him having money and jobs and things to do other than wallow away in the corner of his bedroom until he became a permanent, ugly, dilapidated fixture.

BUT THAT WASN’T IMPORTANT!

What was important was---!

Oriel stopped when she specified to the matter she was talking about, and he blinked as he engaged in an internal dilemma to either dismiss something that was obviously really important and concerning to AJ so that he could share the really important news, or to hold off on the good stuff and suffer through the painful, agonizing discomfort of having to explain something he didn’t want to have to explain. “That’s….” he started hesitantly, looking to the side uncomfortably. He paused. “That’s not important anymore,” he started to rationalize. “Phoenix forgives me, and I’m not going to do it again, so…so you don’t got to worry ‘bout it no more.” Without sparing another moment, Oriel pulled out his cell phone and started flipping through it to the pictures that would show the proof that everything was going to be all right!

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"It's not important anymore?" AJ asked when he'd finally replied to her. "What do you mean it's not important? What happened was bad, Ori. That's not healthy...I mean, I don't know exactly what happened..." But she had a feeling she knew from what Oriel was saying about Phen forgiving him and that he would never do it again. How could he be so sure that he could control his anger and how could Phen forgive him so easily? Was this what love was? Sure, she had thought she was in love with Travis and maybe she had been, but she didn't remember it like this...and when things had started to go sour, when he depended on her so much that it tore her apart, she had to end things.

"What are you doing?" He'd taken out his cell phone now. This whole situation was rather weird. But he seemed so happy.

[Deleted]

That’s right! It wasn’t important anymore! Because….because….just because there were more important things to think about and besides, Oriel went to the anger management thingy, to the whole thing! So…something good had to come from that, right? Oriel was…better…right? “It’s fine,” he said, trying to convince himself in the process. “It’s fine…” he said again, with less certainty. Oriel stopped flipping through his phone, and stared down past it to the floor. “I ain’t….I ain’t going to let something like that happen again. I promise. It ain’t perfect now…far from, actually, but….but it will be, you’ll see! I’m working real hard to make it better and ‘fore you know it…!”

Oriel looked up and sent AJ a small, boyish smile. “I promise, it’s going to be fine,” he repeated. Then he went back to flipping through his phone until he finally came across the set of pictures he was looking for. “Here.” Oriel turned the phone to AJ and showed her. The first was of a hand, and the ring that was set on a thin finger. Then next, of Phoenix holding his hand up to the camera, his smiling, crying, happy face slightly blurred behind it. The next few were of the two boys celebrating in the aftermath, with enough cuddles and hugs and kisses to make one want to vomit. Oriel watched closely, anticipating AJ’s reaction.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

Oriel was so sure that everything was going to be fine, but as he repeated himself, AJ couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to convince himself as well. She wasn't sure how a relationship could be fine after something like that. Oriel had to learn to work through his own issues, to handle his anger, to love himself, before he could love Phoenix. AJ figured that was part of the problem with her and Travis' relationship as she hadn't been okay with who she was.

He sounded so positive, so entirely confident in himself and he kept promising her that things would be fine. "Ori, you just keep repeating the same things. We should talk about this. You nearly threatened Oliver in the hallway that day. Actually, you did threaten Oliver." But before she could say much else, his phone was in her view. A series of photos. Her lips parted in a slight gasp and then came again together for her to bite down lightly on her bottom lip in apprehension. "Ori...what..." A ring. On Phen's hand. They seemed so happy in the photos. "Marriage?" That was all that came out.

[Deleted]

Yeah…yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, he knew! She was right. Oriel was just avoiding the issue because…because he just didn’t want to address it right now. Not when something else so good was about to happen. Why should he disturb such a good thing with such ill thoughts? It wasn’t…it wasn’t fair! “I…” he started hesitantly, his features tensing up into something complicated. What was he supposed to say? “J…just look,” he urged. “We can talk after…” Probably. Hopefully. Yes…they would.

Oriel watched with anticipation as AJ looked through the photos, his smile growing wider as the good news obviously came to her finally. The good news that proved that everything was going to be alright. “Yeah,” he said, his face softly smiling. “Not…not right away, of course,” he assured her, lowering his head and letting a shade of red color his cheeks. “I want to graduate first, or at least wait ’til I’m 18 ‘fore we…and ’sides, more than that…” Oriel reached up to hang his hand off the back of his neck. “….I need more time to…to get my…” fucking problems, “my issues figured out, so I can…” deserve, “…be with…him….so….yeah…” He fell silent, unsure of what else to say.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ was slightly irritated that Oriel was brushing off the fact that he'd threatened Oliver in the hallway for really no reason and the fact that that he hadn't been in a good place then. If there was anything AJ knew, it was that you couldn't avoid things you'd done. They always came back into your life. But she did nothing but sigh.

"Well I hope you don't get married right away," she said quickly and then realized that sounded kind of rude, judgmental. "I just...this is a big step. A big decision." AJ was eighteen. She was older than Oriel and she couldn't even imagine getting married, being engaged... Sure, she'd fallen for Travis and she may have started to imagine something beyond what they had, but it was a thought that was in the back of her mind and only came to the forefront of her brain every once in a while. Oriel and Phoenix were engaged to be married and AJ couldn't hide the fact that she was shocked and a little unsettled.

At least Oriel was addressing that he needed to sort out his issues. "I agree with that, Ori. You need to take care of yourself first. Your mental health is so important. You need that stability to make that kind of a committment."

[Deleted]

AJ wasn’t near as excited as Oriel had wanted her to be. Actually, she didn’t seem supportive at all. And her words seemed rushed. Forced even.

No, it did not make Oriel feel good.

Oriel’s expression fell as he took back his phone and put it away. He wanted to retreat now. Go up to his room and hug a pillow that had Phoenix’s face pasted onto it. It was only because he wanted to prove that he was serious that he stuck around. Serious about the engagement. Serious about getting better. The way AJ said it….it didn’t sound like she thought he was. “I know…” he said with considerably less spirit than before. “I ain’t able to be with Phoenix everyday like before,” he started, swallowing a lump in his throat. “That’s driving me fucking mad….gets worse when they say vague things like “progress” and that I need that to be able to see him again. And if I don’t, then I’ll be fucking waiting around until graduation anyway for that to happen…” Where was he going with this?

“I know I got issues,” he continued. “A fucking truckload of ‘em, actually.” Oriel chuckled weakly. “…But…I don’t know if I can make their kind of “progress” fast enough. Don’t mean I ain’t going to try hard or nothing, though.” He was rambling about something. It all made sense to him, but wasn’t considering if it made sense to AJ. “And by the end of it all, even if I don’t get where they want me…I’ll have done something, enough where I’m happy with where I got. And I ain’t going to stop trying even after that neither, so…it’ll be fine.” Oriel finally managed a small grin, at the thought of his ‘reward’. “And at the end, Phoenix’ll be there waiting for me. Because he promised he would. And that’ll make it worth…everything…” He swallowed another lump and took a shaky breath.

Oriel lifted his eyes to meet with AJ’s. “Just…be happy for us…please…?” Oriel didn’t know how much criticism he could take over his attempts to keep himself happy.

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ was trying to be happy for the couple, who she'd supported throughout their relationship because she believed they could bring out the good parts of each other. And while she always kept that in mind, it also seemed that they brought the worst out of each other and AJ feared for them. Sometimes love just...wasn't enough. It hadn't been with Travis. "As long as you're making progress, Ori. As long as you're trying, for Phen and for yourself really. As long as you don't let yourself go off the rails.

"It's not that I'm not happy for you..." She trailed off. It sounded like she hadn't been, but AJ was just one to worry first and that's exactly what she'd done. "I just want what's best for the both of you."

[Deleted]

Progress….progress progress progress…that’s all it ever came down to, wasn’t it? He hated that word. One person’s progress was completely different than another person’s. One person celebrated two steps while another only celebrated ten. It was hard enough for Oriel to take one, so the idea of ten seemed daunting to him. No matter how much he wanted to be there already. “Progress…” he muttered, dipping his head. “The fuck does that mean anyway? I feel like—“ He took a sharp breath and looked away, his brow heavy over his eyes. “I feel like that’s just some bullshit word people use to hold people to their standards or something.” He hated it.

Oriel took another breath, long and slow, and returned his gaze to the short, concerned girl in front of him. “I’ll do my best,” he said as though making a promise. But that was something Oriel couldn’t promise, that he wouldn’t lose himself again at some point. Just that he would try not to, and if he did, then he wouldn’t let himself sink and spiral into another long spell of discouragement and try again. That he wouldn’t punish himself so much.

What’s best for both of them was…Oriel wasn’t sure anymore. He probably didn’t want to know. Still, Oriel managed a smile, despite his chest being tight with uncertainty. “Thank you…AJ…” he sighed. He pulled AJ into a hug, wrapping his large arms around her small shoulders. He’d hold her there for some length of time before finally pulling away.