The last word [Marnie]

[Marnie Sullivan]

Now wait just a minute! Marnie had been able to resist objecting to the suggestion that it was the school that had caused his troubles, rather than his own behavior. She'd given up any expectation that their talk might reach a comfortable conclusion, but at that point she'd hoped to keep things superficially peaceful, or at least quick. If that meant letting Lucas say what he wanted, then Marnie was willing to swallow it for now. At least, until he not-so-subtly called her out for believing rumors over him. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but it sure sounded like guilt-tripping to her.

"Third chance? When did I even give you a second one?" Marnie asked hotly. "It's not like I've been sitting around waiting for you to, to, to realize the error of your ways or something." One arm remained braced over herself, as though to contain the indignation bubbling up in her chest, while the other began gesturing erratically. "I have enough to worry about already! Exams, and council, and my poppa, and..." and the Talk, she thought, before she managed to stop herself. The Talk, and the ensuing confusion. It was dishonest to suggest that Marnie hadn't given the boy any thought at all over the last semester, but certain things - and certain classmates - had proven to be effective distractions.

"Not like you've noticed," she rambled on, a full head of steam now. "You seemed perfectly happy to ignore me while you had Karalie hanging off your arm, or wait, no - keep your distance, is that it?"

Only when she was finished ranting did Marnie realize how well their voices carried around the room - stupid. She'd forgotten they were in the auditorium of all places. So she clammed back up and recrossed her arms, scowling, the burgundy of the stage curtains seeping into her cheeks.

[Lucas Blacke]

As he listened to her say her thing like she had let him do he felt himself growing closer and closer to snapping, something that was awfully easy to do these days. But for some reason he had been lasting longer around her, right up until her last comment. Not only did she use Karalie against him but she said he was ignoring her, keeping his distance while Karalie hung off his arm. All the other comments she made about what she was busy with or how many chances she had given him were all good things to comment on, but right now they were just words without meaning to the boy.

''You do not-'' He had jumped up and caused the chair he was sitting on to clatter back on the floor as his voice broke the silence in the room and he did his best to walk away from her. Not only did he figure to protect her this way, but also make it easier to yell. ''Ya do not get any reason to pull Karalie into this!''

''An' haven't noticed what?! How people were talkin' about you an' me? How Karalie made me think 'bout ya? How I took the time to figure yer patterns out to be able to fuckin' keep my distance in order to avoid us bein' awkward?!'' His forehead threatened to pop open but he wasn't done screaming even if uncalled for. At this moment he didn''t stop to think about what other people would have to say about it or who would pass by the auditorium doors and hear him scream. He had stopped caring a Marnie ago.

''I didn't fuckin' choose to avoid ya! I had to, I knew we would have a conversation like this an' I didn't want Karalie bein' part of it. So do us all a fuckin' favor and keep her out of this! This is about me lovin' you, not..-''

Oh.

[Marnie Sullivan]

When Lucas leapt up suddenly, Marnie froze, his raised voice hitting her like a slap. She sat rooted to her chair, eyes round as saucers; her face and hands flushed deep, solid burgundy as his tirade washed over her. Coming here had been absolutely the wrong move, she realized, as her eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to spill over. Marnie had been afraid of an argument, of causing a scene, but now she hoped someone would pass by and hear. She hadn't seen Luke so angry since the day he'd attacked another student, no, he actually sounded angrier, god why'd she have to say that, he was going to -

- stop.

He stopped. And as Marnie's mind reeled and she finally started breathing again (how long had she been holding her breath?) his words began to properly sink in, but... It didn't make any sense.

"You... what?" Marnie squeaked, sounding about as brave as she felt. On the phone, she'd suspected, but he'd insisted it wasn't, but he'd just said, and what was she supposed to think?

Slowly, Marnie rose from her seat - it felt like she had to unfreeze herself joint by joint - and took a deep breath.

"Don't you lie to me, Lucas Blacke," she said, hoping to sound stern but unable to keep the quavering from her voice. "I'm not... I'm not in the mood, okay?"

[Lucas Blacke]

Well, this conversation had gone from sixty to zero in one sentence. He had been figuring out ways to speak his mind but nothing he could come up with sounded good enough, and now- now he had said it in the heat of the moment, ending the need to bring it tactfully and quite nearly shutting himself up. If it wasn't for her reacting to it he would have just turned around and walked away, this was something he did not know how to cope with. It did do one good thing though, he was not feeling angry anymore as she spoke and instead felt nothing but stress.

So what exactly had he said? It all felt a little fuzzy in his mind right now and, as he tried retracing his words he was having trouble recalling even his own motions, something he'd do on a daily basis. Her reaction didn't help much in terms of figuring it out as he could only barely assume he had said something to upset her when she stood before him, no longer seated, with a quavering voice.

Luke widened his eyes suddenly. When she said she wasn't in the mood he was able to recall what he'd said and stepped back a bit. While it was what he wanted to say he didn't want to bring it like this, not after his outburst preceding it.

He slumped down on a nearby chair and sighed as he avoided eye contact with Marnie. With trouble he found himself able to utter just three words.

''It's the truth.''

[Marnie Sullivan]

Marnie stood, still but for her shaking knees, as she watched the wind rush out of his sails. He'd been raging only moments ago, and all of that fury had just... vanished. It should have been a relief, no longer being faced with the explosive self she'd almost forgotten Luke could be, but that change was too sudden. A total one-eighty. And it was that volatility, that unpredictability, that disturbed her now.

Her head swam as she tried to process this news. Months ago, it wouldn't have been nearly such a surprise. During the month they'd spent together, Lucas would occasionally let things slip, little clues that perhaps he had more invested in them than she did. His tearful goodby had only supported that impression. But in no time, he had found someone new, someone he'd lasted longer with, someone who apparently made him happy... Someone he'd cheated on, who hadn't been enough to stop him straying.

And now here he was, and Marnie found herself wishing once again that she could read minds. Because Lucas lied, she knew that, but damned if he hadn't sounded sincere every time.

But either way, where did that leave her? Even when they were happy, before she had any idea of what was lurking below his surface, Marnie hadn't been in love with him. It had been fun, exhilarating, safe - until it wasn't anymore. But never love, not for her.

"Luke, I'm sorry, I..." she finally brought herself to say. "I don't know what you want from me, but... I don't think I can do it."

[Lucas Blacke]

When she finally gaave an asnwer Luke had been mentally preparing for the worst and didn't bother to get up, instead just lowering his head more and more. Yoiu'd think he would be a bit happier since he brought her here to tell her just that, but never had he imagined it going like this, never did he think a comment about Karalie would make him realise.. he loved Marnie.

He didn't know anymore.. he was confused. He thought he loved Karalie, but her he was declaring he loved Marnie. He wouldn't deny there was never anything less than a certain set of feelings for her but he'd never even once think of using the word love, so when he finally did he surprised himself and very nearly shattered everything he had ever thought about her. He'd need a moment to recuperate after that..

But that moment would nevercome as she was already talking and giviing an answer, though it didn't sound like one to hurt ears. The third word she used.. sorry.. the hesitance in her words. It left little to nothing to the imagination and had started to break down the world the boy had created around him.

''It's.. okay, I guess..'' He managed to bring himself to say, doing his best to keep his sadness under wraps. ''I don't.. know why I said that in the first place..'' Nor why it made him feel the way he did.

[Marnie Sullivan]

The silence stretched between them, taut and nerve-wracking, as Marnie searched for a response. She couldn't return his feelings, they both knew that. Maybe she could soften the blow by pretending to be flattered, or even grateful... but no. One look at his miserable face was enough to squash that idea. She would never be able to pull off the lie convincingly. And right now, Luke seemed like if she even tried, he would fold into himself and disappear.

There was something nagging at her, though, something that wasn't adding up right. But she couldn't just ask him, the boy was in no state to be interrogated... But when would Marnie ever have another opportunity? She couldn't imagine ever wanting to revisit this trainwreck of a conversation, even under less suffocatingly uncomfortable circumstances.

He called me here, Marnie reminded herself, hoping to quiet the doubt that was staying her tongue. This was his own idea.

"...Why now?" she asked, hesitant to break the silence. "I mean... if it wasn't because you and Karalie.. um..." Where before Marnie had been perfectly willing to throw it in Luke's face, now she spoke carefully. "You know, since you said on the phone that wasn't - wasn't why, I just... why?"

[Lucas Blacke]

He was in shambles. And while Marnie hadn't caused it she did contribute to it in a great way and only really worsened it by giving him the answer he'd known was coming. For some reason he still felt like telling her though, that even if he got a negative response in return he would at least be rid of the weight on his shoulders. Maybe in due time this would be the case, but right now it only caused his world to go dark and his brain to go haywire.

Stringing together any coherent thought was becoming a chore despite expecting her response, who'd ever see anything beyond friendship in him? And if he finally did come across someone who saw more in him he was bound to fuck it up, as was the case with everyone. He should be used of it by now, there was just no pleasing people and someone always had to get hurt. So in the defense of everyone around him he made sure the only one hurt in the end was him.

The result had been obvious even to the blind; he was a wreck unable of most thoughts positive. A collection of unhappy endings waiting to be written, mental scars riddling him all over, leaving him only to pretend for the people around him he had not yet disappointed.

So what she asked, while hesitant to ask it clearly, maybe due to Luke being able to break down right then and there at the wrong comment, did not seem like a carefully sought out one and more like one to just keep the conversation, whatever one they were having, going and keep the student from sinking in thought.

Why now? He had looked up at that, and looked at her as she once again involved Karalie into it. ''I know what I said.'' He chose to spit in her direction. ''I just..''

He sighed and slumped, taking his eyes off of her and looking at the floor instead. ''Things just.. they happen, okay?''