Faded [Jen]

[Jen Mitchellson]

Making what easy exactly? She frowned at the phone. What the hell did he want? Served him right? And then he said it. A mistake. Her eyes opened wide as the icy word made its way down her body. Mistake. Wow, well, hadn't she heard that one often in the Mitchellson residence? But he explained... somewhat. He hadn't been ready for it and she blinked, leaning back on her couch.

"I-" What could she say? She was so bad at dealing with emotions and he was just a one night stand, so why care? Well, the old Jen wouldn't have cared. She would've hung up the phone, rolled her eyes and go out to find a new guy to top this one's performance. Shit, I miss the old Jen.

"Look, I didn't know." She said after a deep breath. So he hadn't just called to make fun of her. Well, he was bad at dealing with others then. Couldn't he have just followed her jokes and said they could meet up for coffee or something? This guy was worse than she was when dealing with people. "I thought- You weren't exactly civil either, ya know?" She added defensively. It'd been a mistake? Well, he could think that if he wanted to, but for her...

"Yeah, maybe it was a mistake for you, Sugar." She said with a grim smile, "Never hit on someone like that if you're not willing to deal with the baggage. I'm sort of used to it." Or was at least. But why was he calling her then? Did he feel that he needed to make amends or something? "But yeah, if you want to feel that way then go right ahead. Not sure why you had to share though." She felt dirty now, thanks to him, like old underwear with a stain on it, carelessly thrown away.

She raised an eyebrow at the pride comment. Oh so something had happened to him. "Yeah, I know the feeling." She muttered, glaring at her screen. Changing was tough. And poor kid, he seemed to be going to some sort of revelation too. He asked her to agree with it and she shrugged.

"I don't know. It was pretty fun for me." She said with a teasing voice, though maybe it wasn't the best moment to joke. "But if saying it was a mistake helps you deal with it, then go for it. Not like I have feelings or anything." It was meant to be sarcasm, but she wasn't sure if he'd take it that way. He hadn't taken her other comments as jokes either, so why would he start now? Maybe they just didn't speak the same language.

"I don't know what happened to you to spur this sudden realisation after so many months, and honestly I don't want to know, but this is not how you deal with things, hun." She sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She was starting to get a headache. "I was teasing and you were kind of a bitch to me. You were the one who came onto me when we met up. So, seriously, don't blame me for whatever trouble our night together brought you." And then, with a smirk she added, "It's not sexy."

[Lucas Blacke]

And there it was. Once he had said those words he was looking to get out of his system and took a moment to listen to how she would respond to them he felt himself calm down quite a bit. He was inclined to feel she was trying to cover something up, just like him. Maybe she just took another route in trying not to let people notice. At the time Luke hadn't really been worried about who found out who he really was but oddly enough still found himself acting in front of everyone, even people who knew and people he had met only once and was talking to on the phone.

''I don't really hafta deal with any baggage. Not anymore at least, I was just goin' through a rough patch at the time, please understand that.'' He didn't want to hurt her in any way, not really anyway. It all just felt wrong and he felt he needed to make it right again, even if the right would only count for him. What she felt and said was obviously not easily dismissed, but it did cause him to simmer down even more.

''Don't get me wrong, 'twas fun for me too, but I usually don't do shit like that. Ya dunno how often I wanted a retry, but I'd just end up shovin' myself deeper down a dark hole.'' He had a creeping suspicion she wouldn't enjoy what he had to say, but fuck it. She was a big girl, she could deal.

As people figured he could, right?

''I- I didn't mean it like that.'' He offered pre-emptively. ''Ya didn't bring me any trouble, promise. I liked it, I really did, I just needed to nip this in the bud for my own welbein'. Hope ya understand.

How could he tell her to understand when he didn't do so himself?

[Jen Mitchellson]

He was going through a rough patch. She snorted. "You do know how to make a girl feel special." She replied sarcastically with a grim expression. Oh, thank you Lucas for this. She was SO glad this jackass had called her just to tell her what every girl dreaded to hear. I didn't like you. I was horny. I was down. I don't care about you. You're a mistake. Yup, thank you, because this was just what she needed to realise what she'd been doing to herself, and why she'd ended up liking being treated as a person at last by someone, why she got so flustered: she didn't want this anymore, didn't want guys like Luke anymore... Men like her dad. She let out a breath, feeling like shit.

"Oh, of course you don't!" She said sarcastically, "Because you're a good guy, right? Is that what you're thinking? That this would cleanse your conscience about sleeping with a random girl?" She gritted her teeth, feeling her eyes sting. No, she wasn't going to let a random idiot make her feel bad enough to cry. Mitchellsons did NOT cry.

"Yeah, I get it." She said, still feeling terrible. Asshole. Yeah, she got it. He thought of her nothing more than a recipient for his shit. What else could he see if she'd let him do whatever he wanted to her and not expect anything in return. She was trash in his eyes, wasn't she? Because as 'free of feelings' their night had been, she wasn't feelings free herself. She was a person, she didn't like being called a mistake and much less be called months down the road just to have some random child insult her. For his own well being, he'd said. Well, what about her well being?

"Anything else you want to call me or tell me? My xbox is still waiting for my love." She added with an annoyed voice, really mad that she'd interrupted her game for this shit.

[Lucas Blacke]

''Jen, no- I d-'' He was beginning to hear she was annoyed by the things he said even though he noticed nothing off about what he said. Not really anyway. He got away with just assuming she was overreacting, but what she said had turned that around for him. She was trying to keep it together just like he would do so often, the pain in her voice was begging to be put out there, but she wouldn't open up. He knew all too well how that felt, if that even was what she was feeling. If it wasn't she had a grand act going on.

''I didn't mean-'' Luke knew that whatever he would say in reply to her right now would either make or break everything. It was the feeling of finality he couldn't shake no matter where he went. Funny how just a few words could cause that feeling to reach the surface of a charade in a heartbeat. ..was this final? He was pushing her away, that much had been apparent, but did he hurt her? He didn't want that and as much as he had always figured that hurting people was the best way to tell them anything he felt some sort of guilt as she spoke, not letting him get any words out.

It had hit him in places he didn't want to know he had though, places that forced him to feel and worry. Things he had shut off but failed to ignore. ''I..''

''I guess I just wanna tell ya I didn't mean to hurt ya. But feel free to make my life hell if it helps ya sleep at night. Wouldn't blame ya.'' He offered.

''I know what it feels like to be garbage.''

[Jen Mitchellson]

Did he even think before speaking? Jen rubbed the bridge of her nose again. Fuck men. Really! Fuck them all! Okay, so maybe she was generalising and MAYBE he didn't think of it as much, why would he, but it stung so much. Particularly when those words came from some easy idiot who'd done the EXACT SAME THING she'd done with him. So why did he think he was taking any sort of high road?

Didn't mean to hurt her. Well, he did. "Mhm." She replied, not trusting herself to say more than that. And then he added that last bit. Garbage. Was he implying she was garbage? Ugh!

"Yeah, I bet you do." She said, still trying to smile though it looked more like pursed lips. "I don't want to make your life a living hell." She said with a roll of her eyes. "Honest I don't care about what happens to your life what so ever. All I want from you is to NEVER call me again, okay?" She'd managed to keep her voice without quivering that time. "Can you do that, sugar?"

[Lucas Blacke]

Did she think he didn't notice? Well, maybe he didn't truth be told, but he tried to understand things even if they weren't there. The deeper meaning, finding something that could indicate that people didn't mean what they said, that maybe they didn't hate him and were just misunderstood. That maybe he was the one saying the right thing and people just misunderstood him and reacted without thinking of what he could mean. But that was if they lived in a perfect world where the sun shone even at night and everything was right.

Sadly this was not the case though as he failed to make something he could respond to with a clear conscience out of what Jen had told him next. Luke lowered his gaze a small bit and went for a smile even if she couldn't see it. He really had no reason to smile other than conceal his own feelings.''I can do that.'' He finally replied as she asked if he could never call her again.

''Sorry for dumpin' this on ya, Jen. Didn't mean to.'' Or maybe he did after all. This made it easier for her to break contact with him, right? Anger was the best way to cut the weakness away, wasn't it?

[Jen Mitchellson]

He could. Good. And of course he had to use the word 'dump' even if it was in a different context. Jen sighed against the phone, rolling her eyes at him. Don't cry, Jen. Don't say anything. Hell, she didn't even like the guy! She just- ugh! Why were men such assholes, really? Why did they always treat her like this? Though, honest? She'd rather just have them never call her again. She truly needed to make some changes.

"Sure you didn't, sugar." She said with a grim smile, though she knew what he meant. Yes, he hadn't wanted to hurt her, yet he did for his own sake. And why? Well, because he didn't know her. Because he hadn't bothered to do it. But mostly because she never let herself be known by anyone. Who knew her, besides her dorky brother? Was it really not his fault but her own for letting herself fall into this type of relationship with men?

"And another thing: Go fuck yourself." She added, finally hitting the end call button in her cellphone. Maybe it was a little his fault, and for that, she was entitled to hate him. Plus, fuck him, right?

She sighed and moved to grab her control again. Whatever. She was over it. Better glare and yell at the screen before she-

"Oh for fuck's sake, Arno! JUMP! GAH!" Maybe she wasn't exactly over it.