Leaving only Footprints (Karalie)
Oct 14, 2015 23:40:06 GMT -5
Post by Lani Hunter on Oct 14, 2015 23:40:06 GMT -5
Lani had perhaps become too relaxed with the idea of himself being with Odion. After all, Vermont and Pilot Ridge were very liberal in general. It made sense that no one really was bothered by them. It had lulled Lani into a false sense of calm and made him too bold. He had only told a handful of people. Adrianna had accepted him with dignity and respect and his sister had been more than happy to welcome Odion. This acceptance had been enough to make him comfortable, however it wasn’t enough to get him to tell his parents. That was still by and far the most terrifying thing that Lani could think about. He never thought that he was hurting anything but he was in constant fear of being judged. But people seemed not to care. His sister, friends, Odion’s friends all accepted them without issue. Seeing Karalie now, any thought he had about being able to tell his parents was washed away.
When Karalie stopped, Lani stopped with her, his expression falling dramatically before he caught it and hid it behind his masks. Lani’s eyes were always giving him away and they were wide with shock and unfiltered hurt. He felt as if the world had just been swept out from under his feet. He couldn’t breathe and couldn’t think. He just stared at her in shock. Why would it bother her? It was his lifestyle, why would she show even the remotest concern about it? He ducked his head and immediately regretted saying anything to her in the first place. Slamming down his shields on his emotions, Lani’s expression became unreadable and he turned his face away from her, in shame or stubbornness, Lani wasn’t sure. He unconsciously lifted his arms and crossed them over his chest, an outward attempt at shielding himself from her unexpected wrath. He knew she couldn’t hurt him, not so long as his power worked, but it wasn’t the physical weapons he was worried about.
“I… I,” he struggled then turned his face back to her. He suddenly knew how the conversation with his parents would go. They would be like her, appalled. Turmoil boiled in Lani’s heart and he wanted so badly to take it back or run away. He had never lost a friend over his sexuality and it saddened him far more than he expected to think he was going to lose Karalie. When he was with Odion, nothing was in question, Lani loved Odion. But out on his own, Lani was finding himself not as strong about this, and not nearly as sure that he was gay. After all, he had been very attracted to Adrianna and Karalie herself was beautiful and maybe without Odion it could have happened. But the fact of the matter remained. Without Odion, Lani’s life was dull, dead, boring. With Odion, he was alive, everything was vibrant and challenges didn’t seem so big. Was that wrong? Why was he standing here and not telling her to mind her own goddamn business?
Lani’s brows raised. Really he should wear a warning sign that labeled him as ‘clueless’. “I’m sorry, Karalie, I didn’t mean to mislead you,” he said. When did it stop being okay for him to be friends with people without expecting anything more? Lani blinked, taken aback and hurt. “I’m not queer,” he protested, now feeling attacked, Lani did what he always had done. He bit back. “Let’s not forget it,” he said his shoulder’s straightening and his head lifted to its full height. “Look, I don’t know how, or why this happened. But it did and it’s who I am.” He looked at her, leaning forward a little bit, trying to catch her eye. “I’m sorry that it seems like that, I really am. But I’m still me, still Lani. Nothing has changed. Can’t you see that?” He said his brow creasing, and his eyes taking on a sad and desperation sheen.
When Karalie stopped, Lani stopped with her, his expression falling dramatically before he caught it and hid it behind his masks. Lani’s eyes were always giving him away and they were wide with shock and unfiltered hurt. He felt as if the world had just been swept out from under his feet. He couldn’t breathe and couldn’t think. He just stared at her in shock. Why would it bother her? It was his lifestyle, why would she show even the remotest concern about it? He ducked his head and immediately regretted saying anything to her in the first place. Slamming down his shields on his emotions, Lani’s expression became unreadable and he turned his face away from her, in shame or stubbornness, Lani wasn’t sure. He unconsciously lifted his arms and crossed them over his chest, an outward attempt at shielding himself from her unexpected wrath. He knew she couldn’t hurt him, not so long as his power worked, but it wasn’t the physical weapons he was worried about.
“I… I,” he struggled then turned his face back to her. He suddenly knew how the conversation with his parents would go. They would be like her, appalled. Turmoil boiled in Lani’s heart and he wanted so badly to take it back or run away. He had never lost a friend over his sexuality and it saddened him far more than he expected to think he was going to lose Karalie. When he was with Odion, nothing was in question, Lani loved Odion. But out on his own, Lani was finding himself not as strong about this, and not nearly as sure that he was gay. After all, he had been very attracted to Adrianna and Karalie herself was beautiful and maybe without Odion it could have happened. But the fact of the matter remained. Without Odion, Lani’s life was dull, dead, boring. With Odion, he was alive, everything was vibrant and challenges didn’t seem so big. Was that wrong? Why was he standing here and not telling her to mind her own goddamn business?
Lani’s brows raised. Really he should wear a warning sign that labeled him as ‘clueless’. “I’m sorry, Karalie, I didn’t mean to mislead you,” he said. When did it stop being okay for him to be friends with people without expecting anything more? Lani blinked, taken aback and hurt. “I’m not queer,” he protested, now feeling attacked, Lani did what he always had done. He bit back. “Let’s not forget it,” he said his shoulder’s straightening and his head lifted to its full height. “Look, I don’t know how, or why this happened. But it did and it’s who I am.” He looked at her, leaning forward a little bit, trying to catch her eye. “I’m sorry that it seems like that, I really am. But I’m still me, still Lani. Nothing has changed. Can’t you see that?” He said his brow creasing, and his eyes taking on a sad and desperation sheen.
