Uselessness, the Game

[Miles Clay]

The ability to detach and reattach one's fingernails

[Darryl Bond]

The ability to create illusions, that only you could see. These illusions could not manifest into a physical form at all.

So basically you could just choose to hallucinate if you get bored enough.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The ability to turn green things red.

[Gabriel & Uriel Raines]

Super salivation: The ability to salivate as much as you want WHENEVER YOU WANT. >> Super-drooler

[Dr. Griffin Jones]

Cakemancy: Resurrecting eaten cakes out of the crumbs left on the table.
Cake Conjuring: The ability to make cakes appear from nothing
3D Vision: The ability to watch 3D movies without the glasses.

[Danicca Waylan]

^Win
The ability to effect who wins a contest, competition, or argument. Although the user may never, ever win anything because of this power.

A form of retrocognition: The ability to immediately know when someone's lost something. No further information. xD

[Noralei Harris]

The ability to speak other languages with a perfect accent.

Note: This doesn't mean you know what you are saying.

[Aaron Walker]

Having an indestructible pinky toe.

(I'd actually kinda like this since I'm always stubbing my toe. And it freak hurts when I do that.)

[Mitya Makarov]

Apple manipulation. You have amazing powers, you can move things and mash them into sauce and cut them into shreds and throw them at people. But the only things you can do this with are apples.

Fashion manipulation. You can telekinetically rearrange someone's outfit. Side-effect: You will always be plain-looking. But at least everyone around will be dressed fabulously.

Glitter. You can sweat, cry or bleed glitter if you want to.

Selfdestruct. You can explode. You will die. You won't come back.

Troll detection. Online, you will always be able to tell if someone is trolling, or if they're just stupid.

[Mia Keystone]

bubble blowing. You can create lovely soap bubbles whenever you want. They dont last long, and you have a taste of soap in your mouth for ages after, but the little kids will love the living crap out of you

[Misato Hazukashi]

Balloon Manipulation:

You can attract small rubber balloons to you like a magnet and make really neat balloon animals.

Side effects: squeaky voice and static hair. Forever. Maybe even an allergy to rubber just to make it even more pointless.

[Jeffrey Dougal]

Thought projection.

[Noralei Harris]

Glow-in-the-dark veins.

Great at raves. Not so great when you're trying to sleep. Side effects include insomnia and inability to donate blood.

[Mitya Makarov]

Door Shapeshifter. You can shapeshift into a door as tall as yourself. And that's about it. Side-effects include sleep apnea and temporary paralysis.

Screensaver Manipulation. You can mess with people's screensavers on their computers or their phone or what-have-you. Side effects include being easily distracted by -- ooh shiny!

[Izzy James]

Wheelchair modification: the ability to alter your wheelchair. Just the one.
{perhaps not wholly useless, but i just saw it on X-men and nearly fell out of my chair...}