Never Smile at a Crocodile (Sean)

Much of what Dr. Neville had tried to explain to the telekinetic had gone in one ear and out the other. He didn’t care very much for the law and if he ever were in trouble with it he would do his very best to escape. He wasn’t trusting his guilt on how well someone lied for him in court. Lani shared the common idea of lawyer and police stereotypes. Often times stereotypes had basis in truth but then again one always got into trouble with generalizations. Lani was a simple man he wasn’t good at playing the game. He was good at playing it when he was underground but that was when he was on an even playing field with everyone involved. When it came to the law, Lani couldn’t know less about it. Lani’s blood was boiling for something to happen.

After everything that had happened the thought of betrayal from Dr. Neville had crossed Lani’s mind. The idea was quickly quelled by Lani’s stubbornness, and perhaps a little bit of his need to be able to rely on someone older than him. He didn’t really count his parents, they were there if he needed them but that was family. It was different. Part of Lani was looking forward to the look on his boss’s face when he pulled the trigger. Lani’s hands balled into fists, he fancied himself a hero, a protector. But all the steps he had taken to this point had only lead toward his own demise. He tried his best to disregard what he had been told, but he couldn’t hide from the fact that he was a terrible protector. Everyone he had sought to protect had gotten hurt and he had no one to blame but himself. Which was why he needed to set things right.

Coming to Dr. Neville had been a good plan when he was walking and he had meant it to be civil. That was quickly proving not to be the case. His anger and frustration was starting to be displaced onto the telepath. He knew Dr. Neville didn’t mean anything by his calm demeanor but Lani honestly couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t panicking as much as Lani was panicking. Maybe it wasn’t his neck on the line and that was why but Lani was seriously starting to wonder why exactly Dr. Neville left his façade of calm. Lani had not wised up and though he liked the telepath he still didn’t trust him very much. Letting the telepath into his mind had been a huge step and not one that Lani had taken lightly. No one was that calm all the time. Lani had watched Dr. Neville carefully when he went to the police and found he quite enjoyed the fact that he rested in an air vent right in their own building while they interviewed.

“Sit down?” Lani asked calmly and that was where his calm ended. Lani took a few more steps into the room in a fury. “I’m not going to sit down! And I don’t want to discuss this. I’m sick of this!” Lani exclaimed in frustration, but regardless kicked the door closed with his power. It hit a little harder than he expected and he gave it a scouring gaze and clamped down on his power. “Every minute they’re sitting on their asses is another minute my boss has a plan!” It was unwarranted for Lani to take out his frustration on Dr. Neville but all that raced through his mind was what terrible things could happen. Terrible things had already happened to his friends and he knew that if anything escalated and happened to his parents or Caroline Lani wouldn’t be able to contain the fury of his power that would come out. No one would survive. Lani would make sure of that.

Taking a deep breath and letting it carry away his anger as he blew it out, Lani tried again. “Look, I can’t wait around for them to do something. This needs to end. Now.” Lani’s eyes flashed as he dared Dr. Neville to try to convince him otherwise. If it meant it would be over now he would do whatever it took. If it meant that Odion and Caroline, Adrianna and his parents, Dr. Neville and all of the world would be safe Lani would pay whatever price they laid. He was already working on a plan with Odion, he needed to make sure that Dr. Neville didn’t bother with this any further, as it might interfere with Lani’s new plans.

There was one enemy in this situation but this enemy had several arms and Lani’s frustration was stemming from the end of the protection they had been able to get from Hammel. Now they had graduated and Odion was living alone and Lani had a roommate. At least Adrianna was safe in California. Not even Lani’s boss was crazy enough to travel that far. It was a stretch that he had had a small branch in Vermont for a while. Mob bosses were extremely territorial and it was only the power that his boss had that kept him from starting up an all out war. Lani was surprised and glad to have Dr. Neville’s help but he was getting endlessly frustrated, partially because he couldn’t control it, and partially because it was moving like molasses. This was the last time Lani worked with the law. They did nothing quickly. It was true, if one wanted something done, one had to do it themselves.

From what Lani had been able to gather, the police were interested and promised to help but if a conviction was not absolute Lani would most definitely be keeping to the shadows. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to him having to testify. The area of government was over Lani’s head and he honestly didn’t know what was taking so long. Did gathering evidence really take so long? Lani’s ignorance was basing it off of how easily the ‘bad guys’ were caught in the movies and on television. It was usually then that he recalled that more often than not he was a ‘bad guy’ as well. Lani nodded at the familiar term. He didn’t remember what it meant but he did remember the doctor talking about it. Lani thought it sounded like an excuse to go slow. If they wanted evidence Lani would hand deliver it. Well, perhaps not hand deliver. But deliver it someway or another.

Nodding along as the psychiatrist explained again, probably figuring that Lani had shoved it out of his mouth. Lani seethed but he listened attentively. “There will be other crimes, trust me. I can list about a hundred right now.” Lani said seeing no need for the worry of not being able to convict his boss on one thing. There were a myriad of others. “Don’t they feel at least the littlest hint of urgency?” Lani demanded. “How hard is it honestly?” He ranted not really expecting an answer. He knew he should have stuck with underground means. There was already deep seeded distrust of the law from people like Lani, it had been drilled in his head and it was a risk for him to even start this plan up. And now he understood why. It was shooting himself in the foot.

Lani scoffed and would have liked to have said he remembered that term as well but that went shooting well over his head. What it sounded like Dr. Neville was telling him was that he had very successfully dug his grave and now merely needed to wait for the firing squad. Lani found himself laughing as he raked his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry Dr. Neville, but the law can’t protect me now. He’s been too quiet. He’s planning something. I can’t wait for it to happen.” What Lani needed now was a clear shot at the enemy. He wasn’t going to wait for there to be blood on his hands. The blonde demonness’s words rang over and over in his head. He didn’t want to believe what she had said about him being a terrible protector. But one thing he was sure of. He couldn’t fail again. Lani gestured wildly as if Dr. Neville as well didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation either. “You don’t understand.” Lani accused. He liked to imagine himself as an adult but something stressful happened and he turned into a sulking teenager again.

Lani started to pace as if suddenly finding the office far too small, confining. There was the window and the air vent he had made himself familiar with but nonetheless he felt caged. Maybe it was the shackles that the law was trying to place on him. Indirectly but cold as iron on his wrists in his minds eyes and when he looked at his hands he saw them and he gritted his teeth against the vision. He was not struggling out of one chains to jump into another. Wherever he was people were trying to control him. The realization was new to him and even as Dr. Neville spoke of undercover agents and the specifics of the law Lani’s mind was working and he was seeing Dr. Neville in a different light. “Ch!” Lani cut the noise through his teeth and waved a dismissive hand. Then something interesting happened.

It all made sense. Why his boss was biding his time, it all made sense. Lani blinked at Dr. Neville as if the telepath had just donned a dress and presented himself as the fairy godmother. Idiot! His mind screamed and he picked up something at random and it launched itself into the wall. Something glass, it shattered. “He what?” Lani hissed through clenched teeth his eyes narrowed and his fists quivering at his sides. In all made sense now! What an idiot he had been! If Lani’s boss knew that an investigation was going on of course he’d be careful! He was furious and the longer this took the more business his boss was bound to lose and the more he would want to see Lani’s head on a stick. But Lani knew better, death would be too merciful, he’d seen it happen before. He honestly got a little woozy and his hand went to his forehead as images of a Caroline begging for her life struck his mind. A dead Odion and Adrianna. Dr. Neville! His parents… Oh God his whole family!

He glared at Dr. Neville his irrational mind fueling his fire. Lani found himself laughing, but there was no humor to be found in such a sound. “No one is going to testify,” Lani said, perhaps he should have said that at first. “What this is. This is suicide.” Lani was weary of the whole system. There was the connection from Pilot Ridge then to Boston and that was perhaps what was the slowest going. But Lani was inclined to trust the Pilot Ridge police more than Boston’s. His boss had so many people in his back pocket. It was as Hercules and the hydra only unlike the myth Lani had only his hands and his monster already had a thousand heads. Lani did not imagine himself a great hero, but rather a man simply wishing to live his life uninhibited. He wanted to taste freedom, not the illusions spun by mortal men but the true breath of freedom. The strength of this conviction drove Lani, so the telekinetic lead himself to believe, to take this risk.

In a sense if it came to a punishment from his boss or from the legal system Lani would take the legal system. Anything they could give him would be like a slap on the wrist. Besides, he had his power to rely on, he doubted they could hold him for long. A few years older but still as arrogant as ever. Lani let his icy eyes rest on Dr. Neville his expression deceptively bored. Lani swallowed and frowned at Dr. Neville, he knew the good doctor would try to talk him out of it, but this wasn’t a discussion this was an informative talk. Lani’s mind cried foul at first, but Lani himself quickly dispelled the idea, no, Dr. Neville had been in his mind, he didn’t doubt that Dr. Neville’s heart was in the right place. Lani’s harsh gaze softened and he gave the doctor a sly smile. He had a scar from the two previous times he had gone to Boston, this was the third and Lani wasn’t going to leave with a scar.

Perhaps it was the fact that Dr. Neville had at one point been in his mind but the express of care sat like a weight on Lani’s heart. How many times had someone said that and lied? His boss, a hundred times, his father, perhaps even more. He wished that the words didn’t touch him as deeply as they did. Dr. Neville may be the first adult who believed in him, believed he could be something other than screwed up. But this, this was not working. Fact of the matter was Lani was a screw up, he failed more than he succeeded and he needed to… he didn’t even know, atone for that maybe?

Lani licked his lips and struggled to control his temper which was on the precipice and should he slip something bad might happen in this office. He needed to leave that to his boss. Cool and calculated Lani spoke: “I want to thank you for your efforts, Dr. Neville, I appreciate the risks you have taken.” Lani swallowed again. “I’m not the one that’s going to hurt this time.” He said his eyes holding the fire of his power that trashed and roared at the idea of tearing his boss to pieces. The violence in Lani’s own mind scared him, he wasn’t a killer and despite what his power might want he wasn’t sure he could go through with it when the time came. His hand was on the knob now, he paused and didn’t look up at Dr. Neville as his eyes fell on glass. “Sorry about that,” he gestured at the shattered glass.

Lani’s mind was not completely working in a sane direction as it was barraged by the images of all the people he knew dead. If anyone got killed because of him he’d never be able to live with himself. He was surprised he hadn’t lost it when someone had gotten hurt because of him. The precise reason why this needed to end. It should have ended when his boss first had Adrianna and Odion. He should have done what he needed to do then, but the damn morals got in the way. He closed his eyes and did his best to calm himself down. He winced when Dr. Neville flinched away from the shards. He gritted his teeth remembering the broken window incident in the training rooms. It was dangerous to be around him when he was as uncontrolled as he was. Any strong emotion and, well something like that happened.

Without having to think about it Lani’s power reached out and even if any shards had been heading in the good doctor’s direction they would have missed. But then catching them would have given more lethal shards in his hands. He gave a shamed and apologetic look to the telepath and was sincerely glad that Dr. Neville hadn’t seen what was in his head. He might not take it well that Lani was imagining dead people of whom Dr. Neville was among. The next thought was terrified, what if Dr. Neville had seen that. Then he would know the true nature of his feelings for Odion, or would he? Lani bit his teeth this was counterintuitive, the more he worried about it the more he thought about it and the greater the probability that Dr. Neville was going to be privy to the information.

Lani brought a hand to his forehead and barked out a sharp laugh. “Oh, what?” Lani gave Dr. Neville an acidic glance made the more sour by his smile. “Like joining a crime lord, or being stupid enough to think I could leave?” He demanded harshly his tongue snapping against his teeth like a whip not pulling any blows at himself. Honestly, how much worse could things get? He’d hit rock bottom and sworn not to go back only to let himself get knocked back down. The only reason he hadn’t fallen back into the deep abyss of his mind was because of Odion. He owed Odion far more than his life. Lani shook his head like a dog. “No. I do not want another meeting. I want results! But, no that’d be too much to ask.” He snarled his power threatening to break out again. All it wanted was to destroy something. Or rather, it wanted to be pointed at Lani’s former boss and it wanted to be let go.

They were out of options.

Lani’s lips turned down and he looked at the handle his hand rested on and his hand hesitated. He glared at it and demanded it open but he couldn’t. It was subtle, more of a statement that Lani could ignore or heed. He was a thief, he didn’t have morals! Why was he burdened so? Emotions be damned! Morals be damned! Even as his mind screamed it he knew he’d be haunted by the idea of leaving like this. He sighed and not so gently let his head fall against the door.

He retrieved the dustpan and broom without using his powers, he didn’t trust it right now. His plan? He always had a plan. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have a plan. “It’s not something I want to do.” Lani said frustrated figuring Dr. Neville already had some idea. Lani focused on the shards of glass. They reflected the light like a millions of tiny mirrors all now casting shadows as light refracted through their shattered frames. Very much like people. “I’ve never regretted it. If right now I had to make that choice again, there’d be no question.” The telekinetic didn’t know why he was saying it, perhaps he needed Dr. Neville to understand how flawed he was. He swept the shards of glass into a neat pile moving here and there to get a stray shooter. He paused looking at the pile of flawed glass and let out a laugh that sounded closer to a cry. He was not going to digress into asking ‘why me’. “How much of this is my fault?” Lani asked instead his voiced strained. He gave a slight glance to the telepath before staring back at the glass.

Lani continued sweeping in slow determined strokes into the already neat pile. He listened and just kept the motion like it was the only thing linking him to the world. Pausing after the first sentence Lani rested his head against the end of the broom for a moment. This was the answer he wanted, but somehow it didn’t feel real. Like someone was trying to coddle him. Would Dr. Neville still want to do so if Lani followed through on his plan? Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. He had Odion and he could do anything. He just needed this over. He’d had this feeling of foreboding for a while and he needed it to be gone so that he could move on with his life. Lani gave a small sigh and shook his head as if again thinking that Dr. Neville didn’t understand. How could he, he wasn’t a thief.

It was strange that someone reacted kindly to him and he couldn’t handle it. An adult that was. Lani knew he was trying to pick a fight, with Dr. Neville he always was. He really didn’t know why getting the telepath to get angry or frustrated was a goal of his. “But, what about everything else? My actions are my own.” He turned back to Dr. Neville, “Dr. Neville, I’m not going to change. You know that as much as I do.” So why was he still trying? Lani had a hard lump in his heart and one person had been able to break through and that had been an extremely painful endeavor. For both of them. And then there was his boss who had known him inside and out and had done everything in his power to give Lani a feeling of power and bonds. It was terrifying to have someone know him so much.

Perhaps that was the problem with the telepath. Just by the nature of his power he knew too much. People who knew things generally didn’t have good intentions, or if they did they never worked out like they were supposed to. And now here was Dr. Neville telling him it wasn’t his fault. At least not for the circumstances. But his hands were his own and no one had moved them for him. Lani shuttered a little as he imagined an alternate world where they weren’t his. In the end it had been his decision and he had made the wrong one. But then his sister would probably be elsewhere. And having her here was worth all of the pain and all of this agony.

“But, I don’t.” Lani shook his head. Technically regardless of how much he paid, how much he begged when he’d signed himself on it had been a permanent employment. Lani crouched and picked up a larger piece of glass and placed it into the dust pan then holding the broom down by the head he carefully swept the rest of the shards into the pan. “I’m not asking you about his actions. I’m asking you about mine.” Lani rose to his feet and looked at Dr. Neville now. “Trashcan?” He held the glass up and his power swept over the floor and searched for missed shards. There were a few under a cabinet, Lani decided to leave them be.

Lani raised his chin not sure if he was being proud or stubborn now, or both, but either way he felt successful getting that response from Dr. Neville. Lani wasn’t looking for someone to make him feel better, he was looking for someone to tell him the truth. Which in his current mind spelled someone who agreed with him. However, the Doctor cleverly navigated around what Lani wanted to hear and turned it back on his boss. Lani felt a strange sense of self. He wanted to defend the man he used to be so close to but he also wanted to agree with Dr. Neville and slander him until his voice was hoarse and his boss’s body was well decayed in his grave. Feeling argumentative Lani decided to challenge Dr. Neville a little more. “I’m nineteen. I’m an adult.” He was also sick of people trying to make him out like a child. The police were doing that and Dr. Neville was doing it.

A sound halfway between a sigh of resignation and a huff of annoyance came from Lani’s nostrils. Lani glared at Dr. Neville, he knew he never should have given the wallet back. It was opening the door to someone seeing through his masks. “There was nothing useful in it anyways.” Lani snipped back weakly. A few days ago he’d be happy to hear that someone thought of him as a good person but now that the thoughts in his mind had turned on such dark things he couldn’t think of himself as such. The Doctor just didn’t understand, Lani told himself, he wanted things to be done right and he wanted them to be done in an ethical way. Lani wasn’t ethical, he’d claw his way through the dark and he’d do what it took. He was entirely selfish. So he told himself, he’d done far too much and see too much to ignore that part of his life.

This had earned Dr. Neville an eye roll and as Lani held the dust pan he wondered how it was that Dr. Neville wasn’t afraid of him taking up the shards and injuring him. Lani looked at the refracted light. He could. He knew he could, Dr. Neville knew he could, and his power knew he could. Somehow Dr. Neville trusted him not to. It made no sense to Lani. Lani didn’t even trust the telepath enough to sit down in his presence just in case that did something to hinder his escape. Lani was a flight risk with a power he could barely control. Maybe that was why Dr. Neville was being so level headed. Perhaps he really was afraid of what Lani might do and was only very skilled at hiding it. Lani frowned a stirring of anger. It wasn’t fair that he could be standing here with his masks well placed and Dr. Neville would never be surprised. While Lani couldn’t see past Dr. Neville’s masks. They were well placed. Where Lani erred was assuming that Dr. Neville had masks at all.

With a hint of hesitation Lani stepped forward and ducked between the desk and the telepath and dumped the dustpan. He shoot it out and with a final tap against the trashcan he deemed it free of glass shards and withdrew as quickly as he had approached. Lani wondered how often people broke things in Dr. Neville’s office? And how many times that was purposeful or accidental. Free of the duty Lani was fully prepared to take his leave. Lani took a moment and shook his head. Everyone had a capacity for great good and great bad. Lani’s chosen the latter. That he was trying to fix it meant nothing unless he could follow through. Lani took a deep breath. He placed the broom back in the closet. Do what you came to do. And get out. He told himself. “Dr. Neville, I just want to thank you for everything. But we both know that the closer the police get to this the more they’re not gonna let me go. Prosecution-ary whats-it or not.” Lani turned to face Dr. Neville his eyes finding the telepath’s. “This is done. I’ll finish this my way.”