Apologies(Sean)

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Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Aug 6, 2012 20:28:40 GMT -5

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Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 6, 2012 20:28:40 GMT -5

The days that had passed turned into a week. Lani was slowly starting to get used to the constant pain that seemed to sit like a coal in the middle of his heart. But he was getting better at hiding it too. In these moments his kleptomania seemed to have risen significantly. Being able to do solo jobs without direction was terrifying and exhilarating, and it was something other than his errors to think about. He was taking more risks and a few close scrapes with the law left him more excited. But he wasn't so foolish to think he was flawless. He had let the police get close but now he needed to pull back. So Lani had taken the night off. It was nearing eight in the morning when the rest of the world was waking when Lani finally accepted that sleep would not come. He had become all but nocturnal. Sleep was something that was alternatively avoiding and swallowing him.

For days he would lay awake insomnia attacking him and fear of nightmares keeping his conscious other times. It was only when pure exhaustion hit that he slept. And then other days his burden became too great to bear and after what felt like hours pleading to the universe and wallowing in his failure sleep came and didn't release him for days. The unconscious periods were more terrifying than the conscious periods. He'd wake randomly and without recollection until he finally reached full wakefulness. Really, if was a wonder that Adrianna was putting up with him at all. He would have gotten sick of himself days ago. Lani was only recently awakening from his near comatose state, it had only been a couple days this time and for that he was thankful. He was glad the period of fluctuation was getting less and less and a state of normalcy was getting nearer to his grasp. But he knew the equation was delicate and something could always set it off.

The 'Talk' had been yesterday. He hadn't slept then either. After arriving from home to attend it he just hadn't gone back home. His father was pleased with his apparent strength but his mother was skeptical and worried. Lani reached out and took a few pills, he wasn't sure why he was still trying, they didn't help with the pain, the pain was all emotional, his headache was the least of his worries. And the stress of his loss of control at the Talk was weighing heavily on his mind. So he sat up bored with this state of sleeplessness, and wondered numbly how long before he broke down again. He stood and reached for a book off of his shelf. He paused book in hand as a small card drifted down. He set the book down and picked up the card. Dr. Sean Neville, it read. Lani sighed. "Fine!" He snapped into empty air. He slithered under his bed and grabbed the hidden box. After pulling out the wallet he had lifted... how long ago?... he straightened and walked out the door.

He didn't bother cleaning up much, his clothing was clean, if unusual, the same hoodie he had had at the Talk and jeans. The hoodie had become somewhat of a safety blanket because it gave warmth and comfort to his bruises. He stalked through the halls like a wraith, his face unshaven and his hair messy from neglect. But at least he had finally stopped crying. His eyes weren't red anymore. He had a pill bottle in his pocket as a crutch. He was silent as he moved his feet padding with no more noise than a cat. He actually startled a teacher on his way. When he reached the offices he came up from the side, not the front, for some reason the small amount of pride in him wanted this to be done and over with, no witnesses. He wasn't sure why he bothered it wasn't like he could sneak up on the telepath. He knocked on the half open door before peeking his head around it. "Dr. Neville?" He asked his voice hoarse from disuse. He stepped a few feet into the office and held out the wallet. A peace offering. "I wanted to apologize for my actions, both yesterday and previously."

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
Played By Sean

The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

Gender:: Male

Apologies(Sean) Aug 9, 2012 22:13:36 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 9, 2012 22:13:36 GMT -5

His seminar was always time-consuming, both in terms of preparation and then aftermath. Fortunately, he had given extensive warnings to the students, and many of them had still been reeling from the occurrence at the Talk of 2011. Thus between himself, the other chaperones, the security presence through Justin, and Cee also working with the technological equipment, they had managed to keep disruptions to a minimum. Sean considered it a success, although given last year’s events, the bar was set to historically low levels. In fact, he thought that his expectations for this year had been even lower than when he had first given the Talk twenty-plus years ago.

Giving the Talk required him to split his attention between the lecture material and then the thoughts and behavior of everyone in attendance. The psychiatrist did notice what was happening around him, beyond the need to scan for any sort of misbehavior, but he hadn’t been able to intervene and disrupt his lecture. As such, he had noticed Lani in the audience and that he seemed emotional and out of sorts, but Sean had let Justin tend to him. The security guard had been chaperoning and had reached Lani before the psychiatrist had even been able to direct him. The boy’s outburst hadn’t been anything too disruptive, although it was personally concerning.

Of course, the boy was on his watch list, and he had planned to check in with him through his teachers, as well as to conference with Justin about him. When he had the ability to do so. He had the afternoon after the Talk off as per his contract agreement, because decompression time was typically required.

But bright and early the next morning, he had come to work to tend to all of his other tasks. Paperwork, sessions with students, and any drop-ins who had more personal questions they were too embarrassed to ask in public the day before. He was prepared to answer any and all questions that someone might have. He was prepared for confrontations.

He hadn’t expected, however, for Lani to enter his office with his wallet held aloft. He had written off the contents of the wallet when he’d met the young man on a bench those months ago. After the boy had walked away from their conversation, running from him and from Hammel, from whatever had troubled him. The cash hadn’t mattered much to him, and fortunately there hadn’t been any important cards in there, so it hadn’t been too much of a loss.

The psychiatrist reached out for his wallet, taking it from the boy’s hand and then setting it down on his desk. He could go through it later. At the moment, Lani held his attention, and he looked into the young man’s eyes. “Apology accepted. Why don’t you close the door and sit down? That way we can have a chat.”

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Aug 10, 2012 19:27:26 GMT -5

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Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 10, 2012 19:27:26 GMT -5

Lani’s courage was quickly fading. He had come to do what he had done and now he wanted to run. He couldn’t though his legs wouldn’t move. His mouth became dry and he felt his power stirring in reaction to his stress. Who would have thought he would have to keep it from blasting the only adult who so far hadn’t seen him as just a troublesome teen. Well, him and Dalton, but hey, Lani had betrayed Dalton too. His heart throbbed at the memory, talk about history repeating itself. Perhaps it really would be safer for everyone if Lani became a hermit and shut himself off in this cavern. He was distracted internally feeling the tunnels in his mind and following them deeper and deeper. He was running unable to get away from himself in his own mind. Perhaps that was what madness was. In his mind he was the only one that could hate himself, but he was also his harshest critic and he was relentless. He could run from people and places but he couldn’t run from himself.

Dr. Neville would have a hard time getting at him through his teachers. Sure they would love to pass the news along. If Lani was ever present to give the message to, that is. That would only cause more trouble because then people would have a reason to go looking for Lani. And catching with of that Lani would not be found. Lani was good, if he didn’t want to be found he wouldn’t. He was vainly hoping that the doctor would take the wallet and let Lani be on his way. After all what reason did Lani have to stay? Lani shook his head at himself, he could think of a million. But he didn’t want to talk about it to someone he didn’t know. Someone who might be able to get him into more trouble. Of course he couldn’t blame the doctor, he was a kind man, he wanted to help. It was only Lani’s close hold on his secrets that made him resent the man for it. Perhaps had he met Neville under different circumstances they could have gotten along but the telepath simply by the way of his power terrified Lani.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding as his apology was accepted. Lani was about to retreat with his forgiveness and go back to where he could be alone with his thoughts when Dr. Neville suggested he sit and talk. Oh no… Lani’s face paled a little, he didn’t have any excuses prepared, which was his own fault, he should have seen this coming. Apparently tunnel vision was a symptom of depression. Blind to everything but the task at hand. Lani opened his mouth and a sad excuse for a protest emerged, “I don’t want to be a bother, I’m sure you’re busy.” He was even astounded by how pathetic he sounded. What had he done to himself? How had he let himself fall so far? He closed his eyes and bit his tongue. That’s right, he had reached out his hand, but only the wind had played with his fingers as gravity clung to him and now he was recovering from a harsh impact with reality. For some reason the suggestion by Neville didn’t sound much like a question so much as an illusion of Lani having a choice.

Despite his protests he reached back and grabbed the door unsure of what he should do. He swayed halfway between being inside and dashing out the door. He considered his options. If he didn’t stay he’d probably be bothered until he did. Someone, be it Neville or not, would try to talk to him. It was better to get it over with. Lani felt like he was swallowing bitter medicine that he knew would help in the end but he wouldn’t take it quietly. He looked at the wallet as if it might have the answer. Lani hadn’t even taken anything out. Not even the cash. The guilt that had swallowed him after had kept him from it and now he glared at it like it was the gateway to this moment here. He gave a ‘let’s get this over with’ sigh and pushed the door closed. However Lani stayed on his feet leaning against the wall and crossing his arms defensively. Standing made escape easier. He looked at the man sitting pleasantly across the desk and anxiety started to flood him. “How… how much do you know?” He asked. This could be dangerous. He wasn’t going to talk about his time with his boss and… dammit! He shut that thought off before it started, he couldn’t afford to be careless around a telepath! Then another tendril of a thought wondered what it mattered. He had stolen from the man and he wasn’t currently locked up… so… what did that mean?

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
Played By Sean

The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

Gender:: Male

Apologies(Sean) Aug 15, 2012 8:37:54 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 15, 2012 8:37:54 GMT -5

Sean had a great deal of compassion for teenagers; that was the reason he had applied for the job at Hammel in the first place. Otherwise, he would have remained in private practice in New York, and in doing so, he would have missed the opportunities to help so many students who needed him. Teenagers were vulnerable, both legally and emotionally, and as such, he was of the opinion that they required protection. Science also supported his compassion and opinions, as the most recent studies showed that the human brain didn’t finish development until the age of twenty-five, long after high school. All the more reason to be nurturing and protective of the students, rather than branding them as though the way they were now would seal their fates for the rest of their lives. As though all personalities were static.

He judged students for their deeds, because teenagers were still people and people had self-determination. But circumstances played a role in his judgment. Zac and Mia humiliating students because they could was far different from being forced into a series of unfortunate events due to family ties and manipulation.

The psychiatrist didn’t rise from his chair behind the desk; he had no intention of crowding the young man. Rather, he would let Lani make his own decision about what was to be done, and if his decision wasn’t beneficial, then Sean could rise to go after him. However, the contingency plan proved unnecessary, as Lani eventually seemed to resign himself to the situation. The door was closed so Sean didn’t need to ask him a second time or tend to it himself. He then waited patiently for Lani to take one of the chairs across the desk from him, so that they could begin this conversation.

At the question, he spread his hands before him, palms upward; a gesture that took the place of a shrug while also typically conveying honesty if not vulnerability. He was aware of that fact that, in this moment, he had the upper-hand. He was also unconcerned with maintaining the upper-hand, because Sean didn’t consider this to be a contest of wills or a game of strategy. He wanted to establish a connection with the young man, one in which Lani would feel comfortable opening up to him about what troubled him, and then perhaps the psychiatrist would be able to plan a course of action. Given what he had gleaned from their past interaction, and then the amount of distress that Lani appeared to have experienced the day before, he wanted to create a plan of action, rather than merely giving words of assurance.

“I know more than you’d like me to, surely, but less than the whole story.” That was a rather cryptic description, Sean knew, but he also thought it made the point. It was a good opening gambit, as far as he was concerned.

His gaze was unwavering, watching Lani from across the desk, because he wanted the young man to know that he had his full attention. “I know what some of your activities have been. I know that you’re in over your head and that you’re afraid. I have an idea of your motivations, and I know that this isn’t sustainable.”

Sean then clasped his hands on his desk in front of him. “What I’d like to know is how long this has been going on. As well as to help you with the situation.”

The psychiatrist heard the young man’s thought regarding his freedom, and Sean glanced over briefly at the wallet on his desk. He had noticed its absence immediately that night, but he hadn’t said a word to anyone. “I didn’t think that calling the police would help you. I don’t think that jail helps most situations, unless there’s a threat of violence.”

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Aug 15, 2012 13:50:06 GMT -5

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Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 15, 2012 13:50:06 GMT -5

Lani was under no delusions that he was different, not any more, he was just another dishonest thief. Lani was sure his fate was sealed; it was sealed a long time ago. When someone waved his sister’s life in reach and he snatched it. All the while Lani’s sharp eyes locked on the doctor watching every motion and wondering the whole time what the man might get out of this. It just didn’t make sense that someone would help people for the joy of it and not for selfish reasons. So what did the doctor want from him?

Lani pressed his shoulders into the wall as the door closed. Lani’s hand was still very close to the handle even though he knew he could rip the door off its hinges with his power without much effort. The man didn’t move, didn’t seem to react in any way to Lani’s decision. Perhaps he could have left and been left alone. Lani knew from his previous conversation with this man and from his reputation that he was a gentle man and perhaps that would be harder to deal with if he was called in for a lecture or a scolding. The doctor didn’t know Lani, how could he be so kind? Lani watched the man behind the desk feeling as if there wasn’t enough room between them.

Lani was not going to sit; he shook his head a little bit as if to say that whatever was to be said here it would be on Lani’s terms if he chose to leave or stay. Easier than if he had to get up and potentially risk being stopped. Lani adopted the deceptively relaxed pose leaning against the wall. His muscles were tense, however, and if the need arose he could flee. His eyes flickered around the room for a moment taking it in. Directly to the left in the corner over his head was the air vent. There was the window but he ruled that out since he would have to first get past Neville. Lani didn’t shift his sad eyes staying locked on Sean’s. The shrug didn’t answer his question. It only left more question open exactly how much did Dr. Neville know, how much was he trying to trick Lani into thinking he knew?

“That’s not an answer,” Lani said his voice more fluid from being worked again. He narrowed his eyes at the man. No he was not going to say one thing that could incriminate himself. Wasn’t there an amendment that allowed him to do so? Lani didn’t like that this Dr. Neville knew anything at all. Lani bit back the lost feeling that was threatening to overwhelm him. The feeling that even Dr. Neville knew what he had done. He knew how epically Lani had screwed up. He gritted his teeth and forced himself not to walk down that road. He did not want to meet with Shapiro’s stick again. Ironically it had worked a little, he had to stop wallowing and start fixing but it had been too easy to fall and start thinking that those bruises meshed with the others. There was an upside, but the fact that it seemed everyone knew what he did, what kind of liar he was made it impossible to see. Lani’s self image was not distorted, but it was the first time he was looking into the mirror and seeing the truth. And he couldn’t bear what he saw looking back at him.

Lani shifted not completely comfortable with the attention. Eyes had become something of a nightmare for him. He hated it when people looked at him and there was so much judgment behind their eyes, so much disappointment. He couldn’t stand it! He bared his teeth in a feral way as the man kept talking. “I’m not afraid,” he lied his voice just a little combative. Dr. Neville was right and Lani hated him so much for that. “I’ve got it under control, I told you before I haven’t gotten into anything I can’t handle.” It was not that he was out that the real world was starting to crumble.

Lani raised a brow and leaned a little forward before rocking back on his heels. “Forgive me, Dr. Neville, but I think you’re full of shit,” Lani said his eyes struggling to pull up the mask that would allow him to deal with the situation like he would before. All his masks were cracked but perhaps one would fool the telepath. Not likely but it was worth a try. “Do you think I’m an idiot? Why would I tell you anything?” Lani’s eyes glanced across the room for a moment checking to see if there was anything that might allow for someone to overhear them. His attention was called back as the doctor started to speak again.

He blinked and was shocked so much that his arms loosened their grip on each other and became slack. His jaw became slack as the man answered his thoughts. Lani scowled off into space as he listened, his hotheaded and confident mask slipped away and again he was left with the real Lani. Sean had disarmed Lani momentarily. Lani raised a hand as if to stall the explanation that the man was giving. “I don’t get it,” Lani said his voice softer and more vulnerable than before and he dropped his eyes from the doctor to the wallet, “Why would you want to help me?”

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
Played By Sean

The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

Gender:: Male

Apologies(Sean) Aug 22, 2012 10:24:00 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 22, 2012 10:24:00 GMT -5

Sean shrugged slightly. Perhaps it wasn’t as clear an answer as it could be. Josh had always accused him of emulating the Oracle at Delphi when imparting serious information, and it wasn’t a charge he could wholly deny. It was a side-effect of often operating with more information than other people and trying not to brag or overwhelm another person in the process.

He then shook his head, disagreeing with the boy’s denial. “There’s no shame in being afraid of something that’s legitimately concerning. And there’s certainly no shame in being afraid for another person. The whole problem with our culture of bravery is that we teach it wrong. Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s doing the right thing when it’s easier to do the wrong thing, standing up when it’s easier to hide. Acting even though we are afraid.”

In most situations, when the psychiatrist was confronted with profanity from a student, regardless of the context, his first reaction was to admonish language. Profanity was vulgar, rude to use around authority figures, and he didn’t want to tacitly condone its usage by failing to offer correction. However, this situation was so far removed from a typical instance that Sean instead said nothing on the point; there were greater concerns. Instead, he continued to maintain eye contact with the boy, not reacting to the accusation with anything more than mild interest. He certainly wasn’t offended; he understood why Lani would be suspicious, and his aim here was to offer honest assessment and to show his sincere desire to help. “I don’t think that you’re an idiot; as I said, I know that you’re in over your head.”

That wasn’t a reflection of intelligence in the slightest. It was a reflection of vulnerability, something that all people shared because of the simple fact that they were human. Given what he had overheard that night months ago, the psychiatrist was convinced that they were holding something over Lani to force his cooperation, if not his allegiance; from what he had gleaned, it was a love one. Furthermore, it was always easier to take advantage of teenagers because of their legal and emotional vulnerabilities. Sean found it despicable that people would prey on anyone, but particularly teenagers and children, in this way.

Given Lani’s reaction, it was apparent that the boy hadn’t expected his explanation. It was a pity, since the psychiatrist believed that more mercy and compassion, not less, was the way to improve the world. Moreover, he genuinely wanted to help others, and had as long as he could remember. Particularly the students, because they were as close as he had to children of his own, and he was charged with their wellbeing (and willingly took on their burdens). “Because you need it,” he replied, his voice a notch gentler. He also glanced down at his wallet, following the boy’s gaze before allowing his own to settle on Lani once more.

“I realize that might sound unsatisfactory or even baffling,” he continued. Given the boy’s experiences, it was quite possible that he was suspicious of anyone, particularly an adult, offering him something seemingly for nothing. Operating in a realm of favors and requests made it more likely to expect strings to be attached. “But it is the plain truth. The only thing you had that I wanted was my wallet, which you returned to me. And I didn’t even want that enough to confront you about the fact that it was missing.”

Truly, the psychiatrist had written it off months ago.

Sean spread his hands then, still gazing steadily at Lani. “I won’t threaten you and tell you that if you don’t talk to me, then I’ll have to call the police or call your parents. I’ve already admitted that I don’t want to have the police involved, and I don’t think that lying or idle threats solve anything. What I will do is explain that I don’t forget about problems, so even if you did leave, I would still know and remember that you need help. So, in that way, it isn’t easy to get rid of me.”

And he was a man of his word.

“With all of that in mind, would you care to tell me how this all started?”

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Aug 22, 2012 23:16:31 GMT -5

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Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 22, 2012 23:16:31 GMT -5

The doctor shrugged but showed no signs of supplying a better answer. Lani sighed and decided he wasn’t going to get one. Well, perhaps that meant that Neville didn’t know as much as he was letting on. Lani was going to walk on glass with this one, he was going to test the waters see what it was that surprised the man and what the man would see as a lie and go from there. He blinked and narrowed his eyes at the man, what were the chances he had just heard that entire train of thought? He had to be more careful. Lani’s real worry was that this might all be overheard, well he didn’t have to incriminate himself, did he? There had to be a way around that. Besides… what if Lani did want to talk? He shook that thought away, no.

Lani frowned and leaned back against the wall rocking a little on his heels. He was listening even if his eyes were darting around the room. Lani’s eyes came back to when he started talking about bravery. Well he really couldn’t argue with that, but didn’t bravery also mean standing up to one’s own problems? “Then a coward, perhaps?” Lani whispered to himself, there was a difference between being afraid and standing up and being afraid and running. He was so much better at running. Lani clenched and unclenched his fists as he engaged in the internal battle that he did not want to admit to having any problems because that would mean facing them in the first place. So why was he standing here letting himself be talked into talking about them? Maybe he wanted to prove that he was stronger than Doctor Neville and that he could stand against him, if only for the pure purpose of being stubborn. Lani sighed, that didn’t sound right either.

The swearing didn’t get so much as a bat of an eye from the man, Lani sighed he had been hoping for a better reaction, but this man was good and didn’t rise to the bait. He didn’t tell Lani to watch his tongue or to get out. Peculiar. Lani crossed his arms again as if unable to figure out what to do with his hands because if they were loose they could grip the nearest object with white knuckles. Lani couldn’t help it he flung up his walls when he was told he was in over his head. He had been but he was out now, but he was still drowning. This was so unfair! He was supposed to be happy now that all of this was over, he was supposed to be free but he really was just lost. Lost and very much torn apart, had what he had lost been worth what he had gained? He lost the trust of those he held most dear and worse gotten then dragged into his mess and hurt. He bit his lip and shook his head stubbornly. “I’m fine,” he forced out between his teeth.

He felt like a dog let off the chain never to return but now lost in the wilderness with no direction and no paths to follow and no idea how to behave without commands. He now sniffed at anything and everything with wariness and fear that perhaps the next hand that extended would be worse than the one he had bitten. Because he needed it, what a strange thing. He looked at Neville warily. He didn’t like admitting that he needed help but he hated it even more when it was obvious to other people that he needed help. He chewed on his lip, perhaps if he had waited a little longer this would have passed and no one would ever have known. But he didn’t like that explanation. It sounded too easy, too charitable, especially to someone ungrateful. Lani really shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that Dr. Neville had the right assessment of Lani’s thoughts but he still snorted a little and shivered at the idea that his thoughts weren’t safe.

Unsatisfactory indeed. Lani cocked his head he was still wary, he didn’t quite buy the ‘trust me, I want to help’ act. "I really am sorry about that." Lani felt the need to add. The problem wasn’t that Lani had a reason not to trust Dr. Neville, but it was that he didn’t have any reason to trust him. Who was he? A psychiatrist? Someone that dealt with crazy people, Lani was crazy. But then on the one hand he hadn't called the police on him. Lani sighed, he didn’t want to lose this battle of wills. He held Dr. Neville’s eyes waiting for him to slip up, some subtle tell for his lies. But there was nothing and the man just held his gaze, with he was as good a liar as Lani was or he wasn’t lying. Lani was silent for a time staring at Dr. Neville his sharp eyes trying to pierce that pleasant exterior. Did this man ever get angry? Frustrated? Lani groaned a little, that sounded as much like a threat as he could imagine the doctor coming. Talk to him and get it over with.

Lani narrowed his eyes, perhaps he could lie? He was good liar perhaps he could lie to himself as well. Lani very nearly collapsed into himself making himself small and relaxed when in reality every nerve was vibrating and ready to leap into action. Lani continued his staring contest with Neville for a few moments longer before it was him who broke contact and sighed. Fine. If it would get this man off his back he would do it. “I was little,” he said looking at the shelves on the side instead of at the man behind the desk. “I was foolish and wanted adventure, and I didn’t realize what I was getting into.” Well that was about as abstract as any of the answers that the doctor had given him, Lani was just returning the favor. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but the truth was a strange and long story. Lani was surprised by the strange sadness he felt for leaving his boss. His boss had been like a father to him at first and those feeling had never fully gone away and he felt like he had abandoned his family in some strange sense. “But I'm out now, so no worries.” He turned his eyes back to the man with a smile on his mask.

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
Played By Sean

The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

Gender:: Male

Apologies(Sean) Sept 1, 2012 20:12:12 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 1, 2012 20:12:12 GMT -5

Unfortunately for Lani, Sean had heard overheard more than he would have liked from his recent ruminations. He wouldn’t remark on the tinge of paranoia, regarding precisely what the psychiatrist heard. He wasn’t probing for details, but he also wasn’t shielding as heavily as he could, and Lani was being louder than perhaps the boy realized.

More unfortunately for Lani (in the immediate, although it was for the best overall), it was exceptionally difficult to get under Sean’s skin or to upset him. It had to be personal, and students didn’t have the necessary paths to his emotions to get such a reaction. That didn’t prevent students from trying their best, but he would simply sit calmly and try to redirect the conversation back to a more useful path.

The psychiatrist quirked his eyebrow at the boy. His expression was calm, but the movement communicated his disbelief. Lying to a telepath was a notoriously poor decision, because nothing positive ever became of it. At best, the liar could hope to achieve only a momentary respite, before the telepath saw through the ruse. Typically, transparent lies managed not only to cause the person lying to lose all credibility, but it was also demeaning to both parties.

This was one of those lies.

Sean shook his head to himself. The boy had moved his gaze, as was common enough when having a conversation that one didn’t actually want to have. If he wanted to inspect his bookshelves, then the psychiatrist would let him. Most of the books were necessary and related to his job: medical texts, psychiatric books and journals, a few educational manuals, and then the occasional book on relationships and reproduction because of the Talk. Those had been returned to their proper places from yesterday’s seminar. As well as the yearbooks he had accumulated over the years, the ones that Robbie had found so fascinating the last time the blond boy had been in this office, prior to graduation. Sean didn’t keep any of his recreational reading at Hammel; although he managed his own schedule and didn’t have blocs the way the teachers did, he still had enough work to keep him occupied. He also didn’t want any of his sentimental favorites in the way of emotional outbursts, sometimes augmented by powers.

““You’ll have to forgive me for not believing you,” he said. He had to imagine that Lani expected that reaction, simply given the entire situation. The psychiatrist folded his hands before him on the desk, and continued, “If you’re worried about me divulging anything you tell me, I can promise you that I won’t. Anything said in this office is confidential. I already told you that I don’t think that police intervention is beneficial.”

Sean was a man of his word, and he wouldn’t call the police on Lani. The police force had cleaned up its act from two years ago, so that they were more trustworthy now. And he had a friend in Charlie, if they needed someone on their side, but he wouldn’t turn Lani in for stealing his wallet or for whatever criminal enterprise of which he was a part. The psychiatrist was convinced, based on Lani’s behavior and the thoughts that he had overheard that night at the bus stop, and now in this office, that Lani was working against his will. Whether it was due to extortion or other forms of threats, due to blackmail, or because someone he cared about was also involved, he couldn’t quite say. None of that changed his opinions on the boy’s moral culpability.

That was why his priority was to help and not to punish.

The psychiatrist’s attention remained on Lani’s face, obfuscated as it was by how the boy was looking in another direction. “I realize that it can take a lot to open up and trust someone else, but I honestly want to help you. I realize that the situation might seem hopeless, but I’ve helped people with worse.”

Not that he ever wanted to reflect on M.S.A.D. again, but in light of that, he did feel confident in his ability to extricate students from lesser crime.

“We can’t go back and stop ourselves from when we’re younger, no matter what hindsight we have. But we’re also not doomed to live the life carved out for us by our younger selves.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It isn’t cowardly to want to make a better life for yourself. Even if you have to tie up loose ends to do it.”

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Sept 1, 2012 22:45:37 GMT -5

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Post by Lani Hunter on Sept 1, 2012 22:45:37 GMT -5

Was it possible for thoughts to incriminate someone? Lani wasn’t sure they had Fifth Amendment protection in their minds. The telepath didn’t react at all to Lani’s hidden thoughts. It gave Lani a little bit of relief but also caution. He didn’t know how much the man knew, he didn’t know what he could say and not say that would be news to Dr. Neville. Perhaps he already knew what happened, he already knew that Odion had shot Lani’s boss, but why wasn’t he saying anything? Lani’s hackles were raised and for a cornered thief lying came as easily as breathing, but unfortunately he didn’t think it through completely until the doctor quirked a brow. Such a small but telling thing. He hadn’t just caught Lani, he had caught Lani with his hands stained red.

But Lani didn’t care. He cared that he had been caught, but then he refused to admit that he had a problem. He had had a problem, but that was fixed now. So who cared that he was an emotional wreck, he didn’t mean to call attention to himself with the light bulb that had been a slip of his power. Perhaps on another day and in another situation Lani would have been interested in the books the office held but for right now he wasn’t leaving this spot, by the door where it was safe, where the escape was easy. Lani couldn’t read many of the titles from where he was standing but he figured there was nothing there that would interest him very much.

His gray eyes dropped back on Sean as he spoke. He clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes a little, well that had been expected. But the man wasn’t done. Lani pressed his shoulders into the wall as if that would help him get farther away from the words Dr. Neville was saying. Lani’s eyes became sharp and he glared piercing the doctor’s eyes trying to measure the truth of that statement. Well that was what it all came down to wasn’t it? “Forgive me for not believing you,” Lani tossed the man’s words back at him. But really if Dr. Neville hadn’t called the cops on him for the wallet would he now? Lani’s mind weight the trust for a moment before he scolded himself. That was a wallet, simple easy, not much profit. Sean might change his tune if he started spouting things that he had done. Those were things that if they got around they would incriminate him and he might as well have confessed.

“Look, Dr. Neville,” Lani said with a sigh, maybe if he explained this to the doctor he wouldn’t be so pushy. “You may not thing that police intervention is beneficial but there are a great many people who do. So, no, I am not going to tell you a damn thing about that. Talk about whatever the hell else you want to talk about.” Lani was not so stupid with his depression that he was going to just start spilling his guts to a stranger. He had just been granted freedom and he was not going to spit in Odion’s face by getting himself arrested. If Dr. Neville really wanted to know what Lani had started Lani would indulge but that really wasn’t the problem, not anymore. He had paid his debt and freedom was him. No, Lani stole because he liked it.

Lani turned his face back away. Those memories were too fresh to talk about. He couldn’t believe how far off course he had gotten. He had almost gotten the two people he cared most about killed. Really had Odion not done what he did Lani would be worrying about his family and his sister at home. But they were fine when he had visited, as disoriented as he was he had taken notice of that. But his boss had been like a father when he was younger and there was that sting of betrayal, despite the situation the man had stuck him in. Lani glanced back at Dr. Neville for a moment before looking back away. The man really had no idea.

“It is hopeless,” Lani shot back stubbornly wanting to argue about something. “There is no problem because there is no solution.” Lani was still skeptical but maybe just maybe… no. “I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. You could be lying, I’m not the mindreader, I wouldn’t know.” Lani had taken his aim and fired. It all came down to trust in the end. Hell, Lani hadn’t trusted Odion with this kind of information and look what had happened, but Lani didn’t know what that meant. He knew the redhead would have hated him for the truth but now he was gone because of the lie. So what was better? He was so confused, and here was someone reaching out their hand for him to take and he was too stubborn to take it. Shapiro was right, he needed to listen to someone who could fix it.

Well at least now they had something to talk about. He was young but he knew that now right this second if his sister got sick again, knowing all that had happened he would do it all again in a matter of seconds. “I’d never go back and change it,” Lani protested, “Knowing what I know now I would still do the same thing.” Sure he would probably change what he did later on but no he would go back every time for Caroline. Lani had seen his real face now, and he hated what he saw, so he did want to fix it. But how was it possible to get out of the self loathing long enough to try to make enough improvements? “I’m trying,” Lani said his eyes softer as if he were reasoning with the telepath. “But I took people down with me, I need to fix things with them before I can think about my life.” He nodded toward the wallet on the desk.

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
Played By Sean

The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

Gender:: Male

Apologies(Sean) Sept 10, 2012 20:32:38 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 10, 2012 20:32:38 GMT -5

Telepathy was a complication in the legal system. While Sean knew very little about the practice of law, beyond where it intersected with his job and what Josh had told him over the years, he was familiar with the impact of telepaths on the court system. So-called “court telepaths” were employees and instruments of the court system, designed to ferret out the truth from the minds of others. There was no Fifth Amendment protection granted to those who faced them.

Sean wasn’t a court telepath. He was a psychiatrist, and anything told to him in confidence remained confidential. His medical oaths and sense of ethics and morality, in addition to the way that the law was written to protect confidential relationships, meant that he wouldn’t have to divulge anything. And, if the matter ever became that dire, Sean was confident in his ability to evade court telepaths.

However, the psychiatrist was fairly sure that any assurances on that particular point would only raise Lani’s suspicions that he was being monitored. And would give off the impression that this wasn’t a safe space.

The psychiatrist didn’t want to argue, but he also wasn’t going to let Lani leave with the impression that this was a hopeless situation. He couldn’t force the boy to remain in his office indefinitely, but he also couldn’t let hope simply languish; it went against every natural impulse that he had, and he spent so much of his time suppressing natural impulses as a telepath living in a non-psychic society.

However, he also wouldn’t lie to Lani. As such, Sean spread his hands and conceded, “You’re right, I could be lying for all you know. I’m not.” It was important for him to emphasize that, because he was only conceding that the boy had no way of knowing that he was telling the truth. “But given the situation and the past, I can’t expect you to take my word on faith. I also imagine that any attempt to prove the veracity of my word would be equally suspect.” The options that immediately came to mind were testimonials or offering to show that he was telling the truth, using his abilities.

Someone distrustful of an adult and wanting to keep a secret wouldn’t willingly consent to having his mind touched on that level. The psychiatrist certainly wouldn’t force that level of mental contact on Lani, both for moral and ethical reasons, as well as because it was counterproductive to his end goal. “What I can ask you to do is consider the fact that I have kept this confidential and will after you leave.”

Sean couldn’t promise not to keep an eye out for Lani, but he could promise, as he already had said, that he wouldn’t get law enforcement involved. Not only wouldn’t he get law enforcement involved, but he also wouldn’t involve the rest of the Hammel faculty or call Lani’s parents. This would stay between the two of them.

“I’m not asking you to go back and choose another life path,” the psychiatrist replied. Although, based on what he detected from Lani’s thoughts and the way the boy was behaving, his belief that Lani was involved on behalf of a loved one. That also supported his theory that Lani was an inherently good person who was in over his head. “I’m only trying to give you hope and another chance. You’re too young to view your life as being over.”

Sean then followed Lani’s attention to the wallet, nodding his understanding of the boy’s point. There was value in making amends, both in terms of setting the world right as well as the psychological effect it had on the person seeking to make amends. It was one of the aspects of his Catholic upbringing that he still found relevant to life, even though such motivations were no longer spiritual or under penalty of spending eternity in Hell.

“I think there’s value in trying to right any wrongs you’ve done in the past,” he told Lani, once more returning his gaze to the boy’s face. “But don’t think that righting wrongs and considering your future is an either/or proposition. You can do both.”

It might not be easy to do alone, but that was why Sean didn’t want Lani to have to do it alone.

The psychiatrist then shrugged his shoulders slightly. “I appreciate the step that you took today. I hope you can appreciate that my door is always open to you in return.”

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

Lani Hunter
Retired

Greenview Community College
Telekinesis
Played By Izy

Here in a world, where there's safety in falsehood

Posts: 1,983

Apologies(Sean) Sept 12, 2012 21:04:50 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Lani Hunter on Sept 12, 2012 21:04:50 GMT -5

The telepath should be sure not to let Lani know anything about court telepaths or he might never see any trace of Lani again. Which was probably the best. And if any telepath was thinking that it might be a good idea to root through Lani’s mind they very well might find themselves soaring through the air. It was partially Lani’s stubbornness that was keeping him from saying anything but the larger part was the terror of the courts. He was not in the mood to spend the rest of his life in chains. A chill ran down his spine as he remembered what Rhett had said about where meta criminals go. It was an air of mystery and was very much a boogie man tactic but it had reached Lani’s core. He did not want to go to prison. Especially not a meta centered one. Perhaps Dr. Neville knew about that. But then Lani wouldn’t ask, because he didn’t think he needed to have a heart to heart with the man, especially not about something so sensitive.

Lani was combative and stubborn as a mule and sometimes if one wanted to get thought to him they felt the need to yell. Perhaps this was why Dr. Neville was throwing Lani for such a loop, because he was going against everything that he had ever experienced when working with an adult of authority. So as they stared at each other the doctor’s open and welcoming expression and Lani’s narrowed eyes full of suspicion. The contrast created tension and Lani could almost see it in the air, but then the tension that surrounded Lani seemed to fade and ripple at the Doctor’s feet hardly touching him.

A brow raised Lani continued to look at the doctor skeptically. That didn’t sound like a lie and most people who were lying would immediately insist they were telling the truth but Lani hated it that he couldn’t read Sean very well at all. Perhaps in the way of masks the doctor had the best ones of all. Lani nodded slowly still not accepting that as truth but more open to the idea now. But then the doctor continued and Lani nodded again. “You’re suspicious enough as it is,” Lani told the man, “Trust has to be earned.” Now the doctor was quite on the way to earning it, but Lani still had a few more tested but no, he was never going to go into detail about his heists that could get him into serious trouble, if not from Dr. Neville than from an eavesdropper.

“We’ll see,” Lani said his eyes hard, he would be keeping an ear out and if anything got around remotely about anything said here Lani would know about it. There were a million different ways for someone without telepathy to gain information. “But,” Lani said giving the doctor something for dealing with him and not forcing anything about it, “I have and will consider it, but there are things that have to be more than confidential, they need to have never been said, and walls have ears.” He said gesturing around him particularly at the door. Especially here at Hammel, no one ever knew when someone with say, clairaudience would happen to walk by and try to blackmail him into telling his girlfriend that he was thief. Lani hadn’t seen her at all this year and he was seriously hoping that she had graduated or was otherwise gone from Hammel.

He bit back a sigh, Shapiro had hit him with a stick and told him to find someone who knew how to fix something like this and listen to them. Well, here was someone reaching a hand out and Lani would much rather plummet to the bottom than admit that he needed help. Lani knew something was wrong but it was really hard for him to see that this was rock bottom and the more he fell the deeper into his grave he was plunging, deep within his mind, would he reach a point when he wouldn’t come back? It had been emotional stress that broke the light yesterday and how could he promise that next time he was unstable like this he wouldn’t just bring the whole place down. He wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but the fact that there were people, good people in the room stop him from doing more than taking out a light.

Lani crossed his arms. Well good, at least there was something that they agreed on. Maybe one day he would tell Sean the story but not today. Lani’s parents were privy to most of his thoughts especially now, they knew all that had happened and it was only right but they couldn’t help him because the alternatively hugs and reassurances mixed with being called a disgrace were not very helpful. Before maybe Lani would have agreed but if he knew that Sean though he was a good person he would have laughed. Because for the first time he felt like he was seeing his real face and he hated what he saw, a coward and liar. Lani raised a brow and shook his head obviously disagreeing with Sean. It wasn’t that his life was over but it was changed. “Not over,” he said voicing his thoughts aloud, “But changed, I don’t need another chance, I need to fix this.” He emphasized the statement of ‘I’.

Lani shook his head, he wasn’t sure if it was just because of the way they believed but it really seemed like he and the doctor didn’t agree on much. He opened his mouth to protest and closed his again gritting his teeth against the truth he didn’t want to admit. It wasn’t an either or thing but doing these things to write wrongs, they made it easier to face himself. So no it wasn’t an either or but doing one before the other certainly make things easier. Doing both was just more challenging and Lani was so used to taking the easy road. He was skating through life doing the bare minimum and sometimes not even doing that.

Lani’s eyes snapped back to Dr. Neville and his nose wrinkled at the words. What ‘steps’ had he taken? He didn’t feel like he was any closer to the end than he was when he came in. He also didn’t like being the way that sounded. He hissed a little and balked at the appreciation. It might not have sounded condescending to Dr. Neville but Lani felt like he was being treated like a child. But he did draw a breath of relief. That sounded like a dismissal and that was what Lani was going to take it. The door was open before Lani’s hands even moved to grab it. He sighed and looked back at Dr. Neville, “Later, Dr. Neville.” Lani made a quick escape, but he was pressure certain that he would not return.

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Dr. Sean Neville
Institute Official

Psychiatrist
Telepathy/Memory Manipulation
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The One and Only Seangularity

Posts: 8,987

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Apologies(Sean) Sept 19, 2012 0:27:30 GMT -5

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Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 19, 2012 0:27:30 GMT -5

Sean had no intention of having an in-depth discussion about the criminal justice system, the state of metaphobia in society, and the prison industrial complex. The psychiatrist didn’t have positive remarks about any of those subjects, but he reserved those conversations for his partner or other sympathetic audiences. They weren’t appropriate to share with students, particularly not students like Lani whom he hoped to reassure rather than frighten or threaten. Beyond assuring the telekinetic that he wouldn’t call the police or otherwise use legal intervention, both because he didn’t think those were appropriate remedies for the situation and because he genuinely wanted to help, there was nothing else he could say on the topic.

At least not in the context of this discussion. If Lani ever did let him in, then they could have an in-depth conversation about what they would do regarding his blackmailer and employer. That was a time when the psychiatrist felt comfortable invoking law enforcement. When there were those otherwise eluding the justice system, who were harming people, who weren’t the victims of their imbalanced society and simply wished to exploit those who were.

Sean had experience dealing with stubborn people. His partner was far more stubborn than he admitted, his sister had managed to maintain their estrangement for nine years, despite the complete absence of a valid complaint, and there had been an endless parade of students over the past two decades who’d had no desire to see him and who had made no efforts to hide that lack of desire. Dealing with stubbornness was simply part of his job description. In addition to his natural aura of calm and his (not quite) bottomless well of patience, he had experience with students in Lani’s position (emotionally, if not directly comparable circumstances) and never felt the need to yell.

The psychiatrist lifted his hands and spread them at the remark. He couldn’t dispute the fact that, for most people, trust did have to be earned. Not everyone had the luxury of Sean’s powers, which allowed him to get to the truth more easily, or powers akin to his in that regard, the way that Justin Marshall or James Campbell could. He also acknowledged that most people weren’t like Josh, where everyone was a friend unless proven otherwise. The psychiatrist further accepted that, given Lani’s particular situation, he was even more prone to suspicion than the general population. “I realize that, and I don’t expect you to trust me. I can’t force you to trust me, and even if I could, I wouldn’t.” Even if he had Chase Campbell’s mind control power, he wouldn’t change any of his behavior.

He didn’t want to force anything on Lani from the top down. He wanted to earn the young telekinetic’s trust. He realized that would take time, and that he might not succeed in that endeavor at all. He was still willing to do what he could to become a resource to the boy. That was the right way to do it; it was the only way that would be beneficial in the long term.

Although it would be easier to affect a permanent solution if he was privy to exact details. Working blind was difficult, if not impossible. But since he also wouldn’t work without cooperation, there was time for details to manifest.

The psychiatrist, as though to give credence to the allusions that Lani made, glanced quickly around his office. He understood Lani’s point; gossip did have a tendency to travel quickly through Hammel. However, the faculty did have a way of stymying that information, particularly in light of last year’s fiasco at his sexual education seminar. If necessary, Sean was capable of keeping any information that escaped the office private. He was confident that nothing would escape the office. But he also understood that it was difficult to speak certain topics aloud; it was an important first step, but a sense of security would need to be established first. “I understand that. Should you change your mind, do remember that it’s possible to have an entire conversation without speaking a word.” To illustrate that point, Sean tapped his right temple with his index finger.

It wasn’t a reminder or a thinly-veiled threat. Merely an offer that could be taken at any time or declined.

“Often, fixing problems requires another chance,” the psychiatrist pointed out. A person wasn’t able to fix all past deeds without having some sort of new opportunities or assistance. Action movies and stories told otherwise, but those were fictional. Life was far more complex and interdependent than many people wished to acknowledge, but that didn’t change how the world operated. “But that’s something you need to mull over for yourself.”

As the Kingston Trio had sung, nobody else could walk it for you. You had to walk it for yourself. While Sean didn’t subscribe to the belief in all things, he did realize that making adult decisions was a matter of autonomy. Nobody could make decisions for Lani but Lani himself.

The psychiatrist could only offer options and hope that the boy availed himself of that assistance.

While his last few words hadn’t been a dismissal, they had been an out. Sean understood that he couldn’t keep Lani in his office all day, and he had no desire to do that to the boy. The telekinetic wasn’t in immediate danger, certainly not anything that could be prevented by Sean watching him in his office. As such, he had no fair reason to prevent Lani from leaving, and it was obvious that the boy wanted to. It came as no surprise when the telekinetic made a hasty retreat. “Goodbye, Lani,” Sean called after him. “Remember, my door is always open.”

Then, with that, the psychiatrist was left alone in his office. Only when he was alone did he reach for his wallet, actually picking it up as he hadn’t in the boy’s presence. Still, even with it in his hand, he didn’t do an assessment. Either all of the money was there or it wasn’t, and given that Lani hadn’t said anything about missing money when he offered his apology, he assumed it was. Everything else hadn’t been imperative or it had been replaced, and thus it wasn’t a concern.

Sean had that much faith. Slipping it into his pocket, he hoped that Lani could develop that same faith in the future. But they would have to wait and see.

You want to graduate? Listen to Sean talk about condoms.

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Apologies(Sean)

Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 6, 2012 20:28:40 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 9, 2012 22:13:36 GMT -5

Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 10, 2012 19:27:26 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 15, 2012 8:37:54 GMT -5

Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 15, 2012 13:50:06 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Aug 22, 2012 10:24:00 GMT -5

Post by Lani Hunter on Aug 22, 2012 23:16:31 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 1, 2012 20:12:12 GMT -5

Post by Lani Hunter on Sept 1, 2012 22:45:37 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 10, 2012 20:32:38 GMT -5

Post by Lani Hunter on Sept 12, 2012 21:04:50 GMT -5

Post by Dr. Sean Neville on Sept 19, 2012 0:27:30 GMT -5

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